Be Freaking Awesome Podcast

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You have expectations of the people in your life. And they have expectations of you. The problem is that half the time, nobody actually said any of that out loud. And then someone ends up disappointed, resentful, or quietly fuming on the drive home.

In this episode, we dig into a reframe that might just change how you navigate every relationship in your life: the difference between expectations and agreements. Because if you're expecting something from somebody who never agreed to it, you're not frustrated with them, you're frustrated with a story you made up in your head. We talk about why unspoken expectations are a relationship landmine, what it actually looks like to turn an expectation into an agreement, and how to handle it when someone else's expectations land on you uninvited. In this episode you'll gain:

• Permission to stop managing other people's disappointment when they expected something you never agreed to
• A practical framework for turning unspoken expectations into real agreements before resentment builds
• Clarity on what to do when someone's expectations of you feel unfair or unreasonable
• Tools for having these conversations without it turning into a confrontation
• A check engine light for when setting expectations feels impossibly hard, and what that might be telling you

Angela shares real examples from running The Belford Group, including how she learned to put "bonus" work on client invoices so people actually understand what they're getting versus what they paid for. Sami opens up about navigating the unexpected web of expectations that came with her daughter's open adoption, and how getting clear on agreements with the birth parents early has made all the difference in keeping things grounded.

If you've ever felt the slow burn of resentment toward someone who "should have known," or found yourself on the receiving end of expectations you never signed up for, this episode is going to give you language and tools you can use immediately. You'll walk away with a new operating system for the relationships that matter most, and a lot more grace for yourself and the people around you.

This one is practical, personal, and a little bit overdue. Press play right now.

Mentioned in this episode:

• The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
• vote411.org - voter research tool by the League of Women Voters
• Steve Toth, team facilitator - crestlineleaders.com

You've done the work. The retreats, the books, the coaching. And the pattern is still there. The Invisible Edge Foundation 1:1 Coaching is where that changes. Six sessions, one-on-one, body-based belief work that gets underneath what nothing else has touched. bfreakingawesome.com/podcast-coaching

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Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].

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Five countries. Six cities. Olympic tickets. A two-star Michelin restaurant. A near meltdown over very expensive seats. And more walking in the cold than Angela would normally tolerate.

This is the full story.

In this extended version of episode 211, we let you behind the curtain of the trip and of our friendship. We unpack the moments that did not make Instagram, the history nerd rabbit trails, the money conversations, the unexpected disappointments, and the small mindset shifts that changed the entire experience.

Inside this episode, we talk about:

• Working remotely from Greece and what that experiment taught us
• The reality of Olympic logistics and managing expectations
• Spending real money on meaningful experiences
• What nervous system growth looks like in action
• How leadership, history, and travel intersect
• Why some seasons allow for big adventures and others look very different

Living for your future self does not mean everything goes perfectly. It means you show up intentionally anyway.

This conversation is thoughtful, layered, a little nerdy, and very real. If you love behind-the-scenes stories with depth, honest processing, and the long version of how growth actually unfolds, settle in and listen all the way through.

Someday, 80-year-old you is going to want stories worth telling. This might be the episode that helps you start living them.

You've done the work. The retreats, the books, the coaching. And the pattern is still there. The Invisible Edge Foundation 1:1 Coaching is where that changes. Six sessions, one-on-one, body-based belief work that gets underneath what nothing else has touched. bfreakingawesome.com/podcast-coaching

Support the show

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

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Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].

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What if the person you should be trying to impress isn’t the internet, your boss, or even the people around you, but 80-year-old you?

Fresh off a whirlwind Europe trip that included five countries, Olympic events, freezing mountain tops, and one very heavy backpack, Angela came home with more than stories. She came home with confirmation that growth doesn’t happen accidentally. It happens because you decide in advance who you are going to be and then you practice.

In this episode, we talk about what it really looks like to live intentionally in the moment. Not just when everything is magical and photogenic, but when you are cold, disappointed, uncomfortable, or comparing your season of life to someone else’s.

We unpack:

• What it means to decide who you are going to be before you walk into the situation
• Why flexibility is a skill you build, not just a personality trait
• How to regulate disappointment in real time
• The difference between expectations and reality when you are chasing big experiences
• Why your 80-year-old self might be the most important audience you will ever have

This is not just a travel recap. It is a conversation about identity, perspective, and becoming the person you keep saying you want to be.

If you have ever felt stuck in comparison, overwhelmed by disappointment, or unsure how to close the gap between who you are and who you want to become, this one is for you.

Press play. Your future self will be glad you did.

You've done the work. The retreats, the books, the coaching. And the pattern is still there. The Invisible Edge Foundation 1:1 Coaching is where that changes. Six sessions, one-on-one, body-based belief work that gets underneath what nothing else has touched. bfreakingawesome.com/podcast-coaching

Support the show

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.

Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].

Send us Fan Mail

You worked hard, you stayed focused, you finally got there. So why doesn't it feel the way you thought it would?

Nobody talks about this part. We spend so much time chasing our goals that we never stop to ask what happens when we actually catch them. Whether it's the dream job, the business you built, the house you wanted, or the milestone you sacrificed for, sometimes you arrive and realize the view from here looks a lot different than you imagined.

In this episode Sami and Angela get refreshingly honest about what it really feels like to achieve your goals and still feel empty. Angela shares her journey of chasing professional speaking for decades, earning recognition and still feeling unfulfilled, and finally making peace with what she actually wants. Sami opens up about becoming the business owner she swore she never wanted to be and learning that every dream comes with its own version of hard. If you have ever questioned whether you are doing it wrong because success feels harder than you expected, this conversation will completely change how you think about goals, success and what you actually want from your life.

Stop waiting for the next goal to finally make you feel like you have made it. Hit play right now because this might be the permission you have been waiting for to redefine success on your own terms.

Key Takeaways

• Achieving a goal does not automatically fix how you feel about yourself
• The pursuit of a goal is often just as valuable as achieving it
• You are allowed to change your mind about what you want even after you get it
• Hard is unavoidable so the real question is which hard are you willing to choose
• Success looks different up close than it does from a distance and that is completely okay

Resources 

Loving What Is by Byron Katie

You've done the work. The retreats, the books, the coaching. And the pattern is still there. The Invisible Edge Foundation 1:1 Coaching is where that changes. Six sessions, one-on-one, body-based belief work that gets underneath what nothing else has touched. bfreakingawesome.com/podcast-coaching

Support the show

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.

Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].

Send us Fan Mail

You've been told your whole life that if you don't call someone out, you're letting them get away with it. But what if that's completely wrong and it's actually making things worse?

Most of us are exhausted from trying to change the people around us. Whether it's a frustrating family member, a difficult coworker, or a friend with completely different values, we pour energy into trying to fix people who never actually change. And somehow we end up feeling like the problem.

In this episode Sami and Angela unpack one of the most liberating ideas you'll ever hear in a relationship context: accepting someone is not the same as approving of them. You'll discover why calling people out rarely works, how to know the difference between someone being frustrating versus genuinely toxic, and how to stop carrying other people's "dog poop" around like it's yours to deal with. This conversation will completely reframe how you show up in even your most difficult relationships.

Key Takeaways

• Allowing someone to be who they are is not the same as condoning their behavior
• Calling people out feels satisfying but rarely leads to actual change
• There is a real difference between someone being frustrating and someone being genuinely toxic
• The grace you give others is usually a direct reflection of the grace you give yourself
• You cannot control other people's behavior, only how you respond to it

Stop white-knuckling relationships that are draining you. Hit play right now and find out why letting people be who they are might be the most powerful thing you can do for them and for yourself.

You've done the work. The retreats, the books, the coaching. And the pattern is still there. The Invisible Edge Foundation 1:1 Coaching is where that changes. Six sessions, one-on-one, body-based belief work that gets underneath what nothing else has touched. bfreakingawesome.com/podcast-coaching

Support the show

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.

Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].

Send us Fan Mail

Every time we go after something meaningful, a new goal, a big conversation, a leadership role, or personal growth, fear and resistance seem to show up right on cue.

In this episode, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford explore why resistance is not a sign you are doing something wrong, but often a signal that you are getting close to something important.

Together, they unpack how fear shows up in the body, why resisting discomfort actually makes it stronger, and how learning to lean into sensations and emotions can help you move forward instead of staying stuck.

You will hear real coaching stories, personal experiences, and powerful metaphors that reframe resistance as part of the process, not the problem.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why fear and resistance show up when you are pursuing growth
• How your nervous system responds to goals, change, and risk
• The difference between discomfort and actual danger
• Why avoiding fear often makes it worse
• How resistance can be a sign you are close to a breakthrough
• Practical ways to stop fighting your feelings and move forward
• What it looks like to enter the cave instead of running from it

If you have ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, anxious, or frustrated by your own reactions when trying to grow, this conversation will help you see resistance in a completely new way and give you permission to keep going.

Support the show

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

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Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].

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Ever walked into a networking event or professional gathering wondering if you're wearing the right thing, saying the right things, or even supposed to be there? You're not alone. In this episode, hosts Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford reveal a simple mental shift that can transform how you show up in any room—and it has nothing to do with what others think of you.

Angela introduces the powerful concept of "host energy vs guest energy" and explains why belonging isn't something others grant you—it's something you claim for yourself. Learn how shifting from waiting for validation to actively creating welcome can change not just how you feel, but how everyone around you experiences the space.

What You'll Learn

• The difference between "guest energy" (waiting for confirmation you belong) and "host energy" (owning your presence and welcoming others)
• Why belonging is a decision you make, not permission others give
• How abandonment issues can impact your sense of belonging
• Practical ways to make others feel included (even when you're uncertain yourself)
• The "empty chair philosophy" and other subtle gestures that create belonging
• When it's healthy to leave rooms where you no longer want to belong
• Why being the smartest person in the room might mean you're in the wrong room

Key Takeaways

• "I belong to me" - Angela's breakthrough realization that belonging starts with self-acceptance, not external validation
• The host energy shift - When you walk into any space focused on making others feel welcome, you automatically claim your own belonging
• Fake it till you make it (sort of) - Even if you're uncertain about your own belonging, affirming others' belonging creates a positive feedback loop
• Small gestures matter - From making space in circles to always having an empty chair, little acts of inclusion compound
• Choose your rooms wisely - You get to decide which spaces align with who you want to be, and it's okay to consciously leave communities that no longer serve you

Resources Mentioned

• Traveling Light - Angela's program featuring the seven core beliefs, including belonging
• Belief Assessment - Tool used in Angela and Sami's executive coaching
• Bob Goff's Writers Conference - Example of host energy in action
• Gallup StrengthsFinder - Assessment that identified Sami's "inclusion" strength

About the Hosts
Sami Kinnison naturally scores high on belonging and has "inclusion" as one of her top Gallup strengths. She's passionate about making sure everyone has space in the circle.

Angela Belford has deeply studied belonging through the lens of abandonment and teaches the seven core beliefs in her Traveling Light program and executive coaching practice.

Support the show

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

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Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].

Send us Fan Mail

If you’ve ever tried to silence your inner critic by sheer willpower, only to end up overwhelmed, anxious, or spiraling into imposter syndrome, this episode is for you.

This week, Angela and Sami unpack the truth about the inner critic. Spoiler alert: it’s not about getting rid of it. In fact, trying to push that voice away can sometimes make it come back louder and stronger. So instead of firing your inner critic, what if you gave it a new job?

In this honest and insightful conversation, they explore how the inner critic actually forms as a protection mechanism, how to recognize when it's driving your decisions, and how to reframe your relationship with it. You’ll learn how to stop letting fear and self-doubt take the wheel without swinging into toxic positivity or avoidance.

Plus, you’ll hear why Angela thinks of her inner world like a nonprofit boardroom (complete with term limits), how Sami gives a voice to the quieter parts of herself, and why both believe your eight-year-old and your 80-year-old selves should absolutely have a seat at the table.

Key takeaways from this episode:

• What the inner critic really is and why it shows up when you try to grow
• Why suppressing self-doubt often backfires and leads to panic or burnout
• How to invite other helpful voices into your mental space, not just the loudest one
• A powerful mental exercise to identify the "board members" in your mind
• The difference between resisting the inner critic and reframing its role
• Why having compassion for all parts of yourself is crucial for personal growth

This episode is packed with mindset wisdom, real-life examples, and practical tools to help you shift from self-criticism to self-leadership. Whether you're chasing a dream, stepping into something new, or just trying to quiet the noise in your head, this conversation will give you a fresh perspective on what it really means to be mentally strong and emotionally safe.

Listen in and start making peace with your inner critic, so you can take the next step toward being freaking awesome.

You've done the work. The retreats, the books, the coaching. And the pattern is still there. The Invisible Edge Foundation 1:1 Coaching is where that changes. Six sessions, one-on-one, body-based belief work that gets underneath what nothing else has touched. bfreakingawesome.com/podcast-coaching

Support the show

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.

Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].

Send us Fan Mail

Have you ever made a decision and still felt bad afterward? No matter what you choose, there is guilt, second-guessing, or that lingering feeling that you are letting someone (or yourself) down.

In this episode of Be Freaking Awesome, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford unpack one of the most common but least named challenges people face: conflicting values.

This is not about being indecisive or doing something wrong. It is about what happens when two things that both matter deeply collide in a specific season of life.

What We Talk About in This Episode

• What conflicting values actually are (and what they are not)
• Why guilt, angst, and indecision are often clues that values are colliding
• How competing priorities show up in work, parenting, relationships, and leadership
• Why you can care deeply about multiple things and still have to choose
• How seasons of life change which values need to come first
• The power of deciding what matters most right now
• Why being fully present where you are matters more than doing everything
• How to stop outsourcing your decisions to guilt or other people’s opinions
• Why naming the conflict helps you move forward with clarity and self-trust

Angela shares personal stories about navigating family, finances, career, and commitments, while Sami reflects on capacity, parenthood, and the reality of not having enough energy to give 100 percent everywhere. Together, they normalize the discomfort of hard choices and offer practical ways to approach them with intention instead of shame.

Key Takeaway
If you feel guilty no matter what you choose, you are probably not failing. You are likely holding conflicting values, and the work is not to eliminate the guilt, but to name the conflict, choose intentionally, and be where you are.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

• The Lazy Genius Way by Kendra Adachi
• (Including the principle “Decide what matters most” and the idea that priorities can change by season)
• The Lazy Genius Podcast by Kendra Adachi
• Big Little Feelings (especially the “10-Minute Miracle” for intentional connection with kids)

Coming Up Next
Next week, Sami and Angela dig into the Inner Critic, and why trying to “fire” it might actually make things worse. They will talk about a healthier, more realistic way to work with your inner voice instead of fighting it.

If this episode hit close to home, you are not alone.

Thanks for listening, and until next time, we hope you go Be Freaking Awesome.

You've done the work. The retreats, the books, the coaching. And the pattern is still there. The Invisible Edge Foundation 1:1 Coaching is where that changes. Six sessions, one-on-one, body-based belief work that gets underneath what nothing else has touched. bfreakingawesome.com/podcast-coaching

Support the show

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.

Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].

Send us Fan Mail

What if growth doesn’t make life easier… at least not right away?

In this episode of Be Freaking Awesome, Sami Kinnison and Angela Belford get real about the unexpected side effects of emotional healing, like crying more, feeling stretched thin, questioning your capacity, and realizing that growth doesn’t mean you never struggle again.

This conversation is a follow-up to The Nonlinear Journey of Growth, but instead of theory, this episode lives squarely in the messy middle. From therapy breakthroughs to perfectionism flare-ups, from running out of emotional bandwidth to redefining what “enough” actually means, Sami and Angela unpack what growth really looks like when you’re in it.

You’ll hear:

• Why emotional healing can actually bring more feelings, not fewer
• How growth changes your nervous system, your expectations, and your coping mechanisms
• What it means when you realize you don’t have “enough of you to go around”
• Why bounce-back-ability (not perfection) is a better measure of growth
• A powerful story about letting go before you drown, and why holding on can be the real danger

If you’ve ever thought:

• “I’m doing the work… so why is this still hard?”
• “Why am I crying more now than before?”
• “I thought growth meant I wouldn’t feel like this anymore”

…this episode is for you.

This is an honest, compassionate conversation about personal growth, emotional healing, capacity, burnout, and resilience, and a reminder that having hard days doesn’t mean you’re failing. It might actually mean you’re healing.

✨ Growth isn’t about eliminating struggle.
✨ It’s about how you recover, recalibrate, and keep going.

Listen in, and if this episode resonates, send us a DM or share where you’re at in your own growth journey! We’d love to hear your story.

You've done the work. The retreats, the books, the coaching. And the pattern is still there. The Invisible Edge Foundation 1:1 Coaching is where that changes. Six sessions, one-on-one, body-based belief work that gets underneath what nothing else has touched. bfreakingawesome.com/podcast-coaching

Support the show

Sign up at bfreakingawesome.com to get the latest news, insights, and episodes straight to your inbox.

Follow Be Freaking Awesome on Facebook, LinkedIn, Youtube, and Instagram.

Let us know what questions you want to be answered and discussed by emailing us at [email protected].