BECOME Empowered

Within 72 hours, she was completely paralyzed from the neck down. She was rushed into the ICU and put on a ventilator. She couldn’t move or talk. That’s when she learned you got GBS. Holly just had her first baby and thought her life was over. She was about to say goodbye when a stranger came to her bedside and brought her a sign. That was the turning point. 

 

Shownotes: 

 

It's time for a Lifeline Screening. Click the link below to learn more and to schedule your appointment:

http://llsa.go2cloud.org/aff_c?offer_id=877&aff_id=1640

 

In this episode, we discussed: 

1. What is GBS?
2. How Holly was touched by a simple gift from a stranger and how she is paying it forward
3. The Power of Belief can be one of the most powerful tools to heel

 

 

Connect with Holly Frances:

Website: https://www.hollyaftergbs.com  Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/hollyaftergbs/  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hollyaftergbs/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/hollyaftergbs  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@hollyaftergbs 

 

 

Connect with Sabine Kvenberg: 

Sabine Kvenberg on Facebook
Sabine Kvenberg on Instagram

Sabine Kvenberg on Linkedin

Sabine Kvenberg on YouTube

BECOME Podpage

Sabine Kvenberg Resources

 

Firewalking is the ultimate challenge. Designed to break through subconscious barriers and harness the power within. Dave takes us on a journey from being an alcoholic to becoming one of the authorities facilitating firewalks. The journey was rough. His life changed when he attended his first Tony Robbins event and participated in a firewalk.

Shownotes: 

 

Dave’s journey into the world of fire walking began with his own transformative experience. Inspired by the profound impact it had on his life, he embarked on a mission to share this empowering practice with others.

 

In this episode, we discussed: 

1. Dave’s journey of going through the AA process to overcome his alcoholic addiction

2. Dave’s first time experience with firewalking

3. How Dave started FireWalk Adventure

 

Connect with Dave Albin: 

Dave Albin on Linkedin
Dave Albin Website

Connect with Sabine Kvenberg: 

Sabine Kvenberg on Facebook
Sabine Kvenberg on Instagram

Sabine Kvenberg on Linkedin

Sabine Kvenberg on YouTube

BECOME Podpage

Sabine Kvenberg Resources

[00:00:00] Dave: We're either motivated by inspiration or desperation. And I remember thinking, well, I'm pretty desperate. And, you know, he's right. He said, he said, you know, we'll, we'll do more to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure. And so a lot of the things he was saying resonated with me. So he was selling a program called Personal Power.

[00:00:19] And to date this, it came on little white things called cassette tapes. Right. And so it was a 30, it was, it was a, it was a 30 day program, and this is what I, you know, this is why I really love being here with you and your audience is in terms of becoming, because that's where it really started to open my mind up to, you know, I, I remember thinking one time, it looks like, you know, the two most important times of my life we're the moment I was born and the moment I figured out why, and that all started, you know, as far as the becoming for me. Started with Tony Robbins. 

[00:00:52] Sabine: Hello, my name, Sabine Kvenberg, founder and host of Become. The Content will inspire you to reach your [00:01:00] aspirations and become the best version of yourself. I feature interviews with successful individuals from various industries, delving into their personal and professional journeys and their strategies to achieve their goals.

[00:01:16] We have to become the person we are meant to be first, so we can live life, we are destined to live. That means we must overcome challenges and work through difficult times to learn, grow, and become the new, more fabulous version of ourselves. I'm so glad that you are here. Let's get on this journey together.

[00:01:44] Hello and welcome Dave. I'm so excited to have you on the show today. 

[00:01:50] Dave: I'm great. I'm so excited to be here. Thanks, Sabine, it's really always an honor to have somebody like you to have me on your show. So great to be 

[00:01:56] Sabine: oh. Oh, fantastic. Thank you. And you know, just [00:02:00] I read your bio and see all the things that you've done.

[00:02:06] You worked with Tony Robbins, did the fire walk and organized it or helped, organizing it or leading it. I definitely want to talk about that with you later on in the show because I did the firewalk myself. So I wanna get some perspective from you. But before we go there, I just would like for you to, to share with my audience, your upbringing because you were actually adopted.

[00:02:38] So yes. What happened, with your birth parents or with your birth mother, and what was your past in the upbringing? 

[00:02:46] Dave: Well, thank you for asking that question because I, I'm always honored to share it because I. You know, my life was really blessed as a result of being adopted in what happened with all that.

[00:02:55] So my mother, my biological mother, was what you could refer to back in World War II as [00:03:00] Rosie the Riveter. In other words, when the men went off to war, the women stayed home and built tanks and airplanes and guns and, and you know, to defend the nation during World War ii. So she worked for McDonald Douglass and she literally built air airplanes.

[00:03:12] Well, after the war, she went to work at the Roosevelt Hotel, which is in downtown Hollywood, California. And she met my biological father. And two months before I was born, my biological father was a pilot in Korea. And we don't know exactly what happened, but we know that he had some kind of injury to his head and in an attempt to save his life, they put a plate in his head.

[00:03:36] Well, it also took his life. He had really intense pain apparently from that plate. So he kept telling my mom that he didn't know how much longer he could take this pain. Well, two months before I was born, he said he was gonna go to the grocery store and we never saw or heard from him again. So my mom was left with the two other boys that she had from a different father and then myself.[00:04:00] 

[00:04:00] And though she tried really hard to keep me, we were living very close to Hollywood High School, you know, in Hollywood. And when I was five years old, she couldn't make it anymore. She couldn't make ends meet. So she put me up for adoption and her sister. Adopted me, which would've been my aunt and uncle.

[00:04:17] And so when they adopted me at the age of five, they, both of them, had sworn off drinking Bob and Pat Albin, my adopted parents. And when I was 11, things took a, you know, right turn, made a heck of a change in my life. And they both started drinking. And again, things got pretty, pretty ugly, pretty fast. Well, in my curiosity, one day when they were both gone, you know you could do that back then.

[00:04:41] Right? You know when we were living in Long Beach, right. You know, an 11 year old kid, if you wanted to leave them, you just told the neighbor across the street, Hey, I'm going to the store. If David needs you, can he come over? And of course the neighbor would say, yeah, of course he can. Right? And so parents did that back in those days, believe it or not.

[00:04:57] And so they left me one day and I knew where the [00:05:00] booze was and I, and I knew that when they were drinking it, that they changed, there was something about them that was just, you know, things got ugly. And I'm like, what is this stuff? Mm-hmm. And Sabine, I poured it into a glass right? And I, and into a cup actually, and, and about half full.

[00:05:13] And I drank it. And that was it. I mean, I, I never had a chance. I believe that I was an alcoholic. Right on the spot. Literally. 

[00:05:21] Sabine: Wow. Wow. And so, so lemme ask you this, when you are 11 years old, you wanted to try out what happened. So, and you pour it in a glass. I can only imagine. It must have tasted terrible because kids really, 

[00:05:35] Dave: It was horrible.

[00:05:36] It was disgusting. 

[00:05:37] Sabine: So what, what made you do it again then? 

[00:05:40] Dave: It was like it didn't matter because the feeling that I got was brandy, and you're right, it tasted horrible. However, here's the challenge. The challenge was it made me feel invincible. I had, I mean, it was like pouring rocket fuel into my body.

[00:05:57] And again, I never had a chance. I, I, you know, again, I, I, [00:06:00] I never drank normally. I, you know, the old saying once too many and a thousand's not enough. And that applied to me from the very beginning that I, you know, tasted alcohol for the first time because immediately after drinking it, I wanted more.

[00:06:13] And I would, you know, steal it. I would hide it, you know? And this is at 11 years old. 11, 12 years old. Wow. I was moving into junior high school and then that just led to hard drugs. And then once I got with hard drugs, then my whole peer group changed. Right? I started hanging around people that I shouldn't.

[00:06:29] And I mean all of it. Prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers, drug addicts, the streets, gangs, all of that violence, and I turned into a very horrible person. 

[00:06:41] Sabine: Wow. Let me ask you, did your parents knew that you were drinking secretly? 

[00:06:49] Dave: Not in the beginning. No. Uhhuh, I was pretty, they were so engulfed in their own alcoholism that they weren't really paying a much attention to what's was going on with me. I was able to hide [00:07:00] it and mask it pretty easily. Now, they found out later, once I was in my teens. Yeah. But they never really put two and two together that, you know, th they've never heard this story cuz my parents have been gone for a long time.

[00:07:10] Mm-hmm. So what developed there is that, you know, I just got to a point one day I got, you know, when I was in my early thirties and I woke up one morning and said, we're done. I'm not doing this anymore. I was in such physical, emotional, and spiritual pain that all I wanted, all I cared about is that day the pain's gonna stop.

[00:07:29] We're done here. I'm out. And I literally put a pistol in my mouth. I, I put it in there twice. I was gonna end my life. And I was married to a woman who had three kids. They were my stepkids. And I remember thinking, oh man. When you do that, these kids are gonna see that they're gonna have to live with that.

[00:07:45] And so from a, a compassion standpoint to me, and I said, you know, I, I can't do that to them. So the alternative was you call this organization called Alcoholics Anonymous. And I did, and I went to my first meeting on [00:08:00] June 8th, 1988. Well, actually with the four meetings that day, they sent a guy to come pick me up and I went to a 12:30, a 4:30, a 6:30 and an 8:30 meeting, and it stuck. It worked. And though the first year of my life, you know, in, in AA was horrible. I had withdrawals like you wouldn't believe the guys were back in those days. They were like, drink orange, juice, fresh, squeezed orange juice, eat a lot of chocolate to try to balance your blood sugar. I probably should have been in rehab.

[00:08:28] I was probably close to delirium, tremors though I never really got there. Mm-hmm. Cause delirium, tremors will kill you. You know, alcohol, when you come off alcohol, you can actually die from withdrawals. 

[00:08:38] Sabine: Really? I did not know that. So the aria trimmers, why would they kill you? 

[00:08:45] Dave: It can send you into cardiac arrest, number one. Number two, sometimes you're shaking so bad if you ever seen an alcoholic who's shaking trying to get alcohol in them. Yes, yes. They'll shake so bad. You, you literally shake your internal organs apart. Wow. It's bad. And that's why they call 'em [00:09:00] tremors because you're sh you know, and I could, I can remember times where, Lots of times where I'd wake up in the morning, well, I'd wake up, let's put it that way.

[00:09:07] Not necessarily in the morning, but I'd wake up and you have to have a drink to get back to normalcy. Right. You know, and I'd have to, I'd be literally sitting in the, in the bathroom on the toilet, you know, naked with a bucket in one hand and a bottle in the other, trying to drink enough vodka to get it down.

[00:09:24] And I'd throw it up in the bucket. But eventually you'd take a sip and you'd, you'd drink it and it would stay down. And then you go from shaking like this to shaking like this, and then next thing you know, you drink a little more and next thing you know, the shakes stop. Next thing you know, you drink a little more and now you're, you think you're feeling normal.

[00:09:45] I remember saying things to myself like, I keep doing that until I would stop shaking and I'd like breathe. And I'm like, okay, you know, it's not so bad. What, what do what? Dave? You're sitting, you're [00:10:00] sitting in the bathroom naked with a bucket, with a bottle of vodka. How can you, you know what I mean? So you lie to yourself at a level that's pretty much unbelievable. Yeah. you know, telling yourself, oh, it's not so bad. Yeah. Right. Well, 

[00:10:13] Sabine: it's, you know, it's, it's that the two voices that we have in our heads, right. That, that one that always comes up to make excuses, to help you feel better, and for, for one reason, it's also a savings mechanism.

[00:10:29] hey, absolutely you have to do it, otherwise you may be dead because you're shaking so much. Right. So there's, right. Yeah. It's, it's just so, so challenging, so difficult, and I can only imagine what you went through those times. Now, your wife, how did she and the children for that matter, how did that work out?

[00:10:52] Dave: it, well, it, it, it didn't, you know, I was at a point in my life where it just wasn't gonna work. She was a [00:11:00] bartender and so when I married her, guess why I married her, right? And when I married her, she had three kids and I thought that would help calm me down. I thought that would, you know, put me on the road to start to living, you know, a decent life.

[00:11:11] But it didn't, that didn't work. So we ended up in divorce and then later, once I was in AA and living that lifestyle, I met my, the wife of my children who I was married to for 23 years and have two kids with, and again, we met an aa so she was, she was the only wife I had where I was actually sober, and that made a big difference in my life.

[00:11:34] It was sustainable. 

[00:11:35] Sabine: Yeah. May is stroke awareness month. Lifeline screening can help detect someone's risk of having a stroke or cardiovascular disease. Each year, more than 700,000 people attend one of those screenings for peace of mind or early detection, and I am one of them. You see, my mother passed away [00:12:00] from cardiovascular disease and I want to do everything I can to feel.

[00:12:05] Safe. So join me and schedule your screening today to book your appointment. Simply click the link in my show notes.

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[00:13:34] Visit my webpage by the way that I build on Kajabi and apply to making it happen. Now, let's get back to the show. 

[00:13:46] What happened after you went through that challenging period? What went through your head and how did your life expanded from there? 

[00:13:57] Dave: Well, what AA opened me up to was [00:14:00] the personal development industry. My sleep patterns were all over the place. You know, I would sleep all different times and I was up late at night all the time. Well, one night I'm up late and there's an infomercial by Tony Robbins, right? He's a, here's a young, vibrant Tony Robbins, and he's all motivated and he's talking about. How we do things in life, right?

[00:14:20] We're either motivated by inspiration or desperation. And I remember thinking, well, I'm pretty desperate. And, you know, he's right. He said, he said, you know, we'll, we'll do more to avoid pain than we will to gain pleasure. And so a lot of the things he was saying resonated with me. So he was selling a program called Personal Power.

[00:14:39] And to date this, it came on little white things called cassette tapes. Right? And so it was a 30, it was, it was a, it was a 30 day program, and this is what I, you know, this is why I really love being here with you and your audience is in terms of becoming, because that's where it really started to open my mind up to, you know, I, I remember thinking one time, it looks like, you know, the [00:15:00] two most important times of my life were the moment I was born and the moment I figured out why, and that all started, you know, as far as the becoming for me started with Tony Robbins. Well, after I went through his program for 30 days, I did everything that man taught me to do and it worked well. What happened from there is I loaned, I had a buddy in AA and I, and he's dude, man, you're really changing. I really like your attitude. I like what you're saying in the meetings.

[00:15:25] You sound very encouraging and. And you know what's going on. I said, well, you know, I'm, I'm listening to this guy by the name of Tony Robbins. I went through his program, I read his book, and he said, wow, that's really cool. I'd love to get into it. And I said, Hey man, I'm here. Let me, you can borrow my tape program.

[00:15:40] And so he said, really? Sure, absolutely. Here, take it. You go, well, he did. He went through it just like I did. Well, seven years later, he calls me on the phone and says, oh my gosh, Tony Robbins is coming to town. We can go see him in person. Come on man, you got me into this. Let's go. And I said, all right, sure.

[00:15:58] I'm available that date, those [00:16:00] dates, let's do this. And then, and just as he gets ready to get off the phone, he goes, oh, wait, wait, wait. By the way, I need to tell you something. We're gonna be doing a fire walk. And I remember thinking, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Maybe you are, but I'm not gonna do that. And you know what's so interesting about that?

[00:16:21] I didn't even know what a fire walk was. I had no reference for that. I didn't know, but it sounded like there was, it was nothing. I was interested because I'm coming from a very fear-based, you know, position in my life at that moment. So, you know, we, we get to the event. We get on our seats. Tony takes the stage at two o'clock in the afternoon, and the next thing I know, it's after midnight.

[00:16:42] We've been in a room for 10 hours with Tony Robbins. Yep. Dear God, help help us. Right. Well, about that time around midnight, he says, take your shoes off. And I'm like, oh boy, here we go. And now he's been prepping us for this fire walk. Right. [00:17:00] Well, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna take my shoes off. Why?

[00:17:04] Because I'm not doing it. And then I thought, well, wait a minute. All these other people are taking their shoes off and if you don't take your shoes off, they're gonna know that you're a coward. And I went, oh my gosh. Well we can't have that can we? So I'll fake it. I'll take my shoes off, which I did well.

[00:17:23] From there, he takes you out of this giant parking lot. Now I'm with 3,500 people at this event. And when you go outside, he is got everybody chanting. Yes, yes, yes. Clapping their hands and, and when, right. And when you get outside, he's got African drummers to kick up the ambience a little bit. Right? So now it's everybody's clapping and it's dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun dun.

[00:17:49] And you know, you, you can feel the vibrations. I mean, it is intense. Well over in the corner of this giant parking lot. They had built the fire probably starting around [00:18:00] three o'clock in the afternoon, and they let it burn all night. And so what it does is it renders, right, the coals burn all day, all night, and then you have this giant bed of coals.

[00:18:09] Well, what they did, because there's so many people at this event, they loaded those coals in a wheelbarrow and then they'd pull a wheelbarrow and they'd lay two lanes of saw of grass, as you know. Mm-hmm. On both sides, right about three feet wide. 15 to 18 feet long and they just took a shovel and they would shovel the coals out on, on that grass.

[00:18:29] And that's what you walked on? Well, when I got out there, I'm like, well, I'm not doing this. And so I got separated from my buddy and I said, well, I'm just gonna go hide out in the back. Nobody's gonna know except for me. Right? We we're gonna know. Well, hiding out in the back. You think it's a good idea?

[00:18:48] Think it's a good strategy? Nope. Not. Not a good one at all. Why? Because Tony's people know where all the cowards are. Right? And they're trained to come get you. Oh, is said. So [00:19:00] well, I'm hiding out in the back. All of a sudden, here comes the sky and he makes eye contact with me. And I think Tony trains him.

[00:19:07] Look, once, don't you make eye contact, don't take your eyes off of him. And so, yeah, he's looking at me, big's eye contact, and he gets like maybe 20 feet from me. And he looks at me and he goes, are you okay? And I, of course I lie. We all lie, right? I go, yeah, no, I'm fine and I'm not fine. And he said, well, are you gonna walk tonight?

[00:19:27] And I said, absolutely not. And he goes, oh. And I said it to him with a lot of, you know, Get away from me kind of energy. And he said, Hey. And he said, Hey man, that's okay. We don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. And I thought, wow, okay. I like this guy. He's gonna be my ticket out of here.

[00:19:46] And then this stranger, this guy I've never met, don't know, he asked me a question that changed my life forever. And he said, well, wouldn't you at least like to watch. And I said, well, [00:20:00] actually I'm thinking, yeah, I'd love to watch these people burn their feet off. Let's go do that. And he said, well, you know, I was a hundred yards away from where they were doing it sabine, I couldn't see anything. And he said, well, you're gonna need to just get in line. Right. And, and and his defense, he was telling the truth. He was being congruent cuz I couldn't, I was a hundred yards away. I couldn't see anything. I had 3,500 people in front of me. I couldn't see anything. And, and so I got in line.

[00:20:26] And after I'm just kind of walking along, walking along, the next thing I know, this guy comes up and he whispers in my ear and he says, he knows when you're ready. When he says, go, you go. And I went, what? And then that guy just disappeared into the night, and I'm kind of walking along and all of a sudden I get to a point I can't see in front of me, but I can see at an angle and I'm looking and I'm going, they're doing this.

[00:20:47] Look at them. I mean, every race, creed in color is walking on fire and my brain is freaking. I'm like, what in the heck is going on? What are, what are they doing? Why are they doing it? You know, metaphorically, I'm trying to figure all this out, [00:21:00] and as I'm watching and watching and watching and watching, and all of a sudden, boom, guess what?

[00:21:04] Sabine: You are in the front row. 

[00:21:05] Dave: I'm in front of the line. That's right. I'm in the front row and now I'm staring down into these and I'm looking at these calls on this lane and there's a wheelbarrow there and you can feel the heat. And my heart's going just, it's just I'm outta my mind with fear. And there's a trainer standing there and all of a sudden he goes, eyes up.

[00:21:25] And I went, oh. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Eyes up. Well, when, when, when I was in the, when I was in the room with Tony for 10 hours, guess what? He teaches you? Eyes up. Keep your eyes up. Mm-hmm. Eyes up. Don't stare at what you fear. Look at the celebration end. That's where the reward is. So now my eyes up and he said, squeeze your fist and say, yes.

[00:21:42] And I went, yes. And he went stronger. And I went, yes. So he could tell I wasn't in a peak state at all. Mm-hmm. Right. I was over here in fear and then he screamed at me. He got like in my face and he said, stronger. And now I'm like ticked off. Right. So now I got adrenaline and I threw my [00:22:00] hands in the air and I went, I screamed at the top of my voice.

[00:22:02] Yes. And he goes, go, go. Go. I took off. Yeah. Well, wow. As you know, they put two people at the end of the lane, two guys, and they, you know, they lock arms mm-hmm. So that they can stop you. And they're like, stop, wipe your feet and celebrate. Right. And a girl reaches in and pulls me and grabs me and gets me out of the way.

[00:22:20] Right. Going, you did it. You did it. You did it. Well, they do that because he got somebody coming in behind you. Right. Well, here's the first thing I learned about fire walking. Great lesson, great metaphor for life. When you take that first step onto those coals, oh, you'll take the second, third, fourth, and fifth, I guarantee you.

[00:22:37] Right? You're not gonna stop in the middle of that fire lane. Well, that was it. 

[00:22:42] Sabine: So you did the fire walk, and what happened then? What changed? 

[00:22:48] Dave: Well, what changed was, you know, again, that night it was spectacular. It was one of the most unbelievable experiences of my entire life. And the next day, this is where it really [00:23:00] got interesting for me.

[00:23:01] I'm in a foyer with 3,500 people getting ready to go into the venue, and I'm looking around Sabine and I'm watching all these people, and they were communicating unlike anything I'd ever been, been around. I've never seen or experienced anything like this. They were laughing, they were crying, they were hugging, they were engaging, they were telling their story.

[00:23:22] It was just like, it was like story time everywhere. 3,500 people just were completely transformed the night before and now here's how they show up the next morning. And so it was, what was happening is this, what's your podcast is about? They were becoming, And so I'm watching all this and looking at all this, and I'm thinking to myself, really is this, did this happen?

[00:23:42] Did we drink a Kool-Aid? I mean, did this happen because of the fire walk? And the answer is yes. Now, I've, I've since studied fire walking pretty intensely, and it's been around for a thousand years. It's been used by cultures everywhere. The Phehisians the people of India use it, the Polynesians, the [00:24:00] Hawaiians, the India Europeans, the Native American Indians, and they use it as a very spiritual growth.

[00:24:06] They use it for graduation. They use it for rite of passage. Tony was using it to get leverage on people, right? So that if you could walk on fire, What else can you do? So I, I got involved with the, as a volunteer, and then from there I got asked to be a subcontractor. I had a security background and in the military, so I got recruited to help with some of Tony's celebrities.

[00:24:27] And then I got put on the fire team and I got offered a, a subcontracting position. And I started working for Tony in 1990. It was 1995 E, either late 95, 96, and then 2003, my life forever changed. Tony offered me the fire captain's position, which meant that I would take over all of his fire walks globally, which I did.

[00:24:50] 2014 is when things took another turn. Yeah, so 2014, I'm driving down the road, my phone rings, and guess who it is? A little company [00:25:00] called Google. Google's calling me and they're like, you know, I'm like, hello? And they're like, hi, this, my name is so and so. My name is Anne. I'm with Google. And are you the Dave Alba that does the fire walks for Tony Robbins?

[00:25:11] Yes. Why? What? How can I help you? And they said, well, we'd like to talk to you about you coming to, mountain View, and we have 148 executives are gonna graduate and we want to create an incredible experience. We understand you're the, you're the guy to talk to about that. And so they ended up hiring me.

[00:25:29] And, you know, they were like, you know, if you're not under any non-compete or contractual obligation, yeah. You know, we, we'd like to have you on such and such a date. And I looked at my calendar, yeah, I'm available. And then I said, so what's your budget for this? Right. And they, they wrote it down and they said this.

[00:25:46] And I looked at it and went, okay, I can work with you guys. No problem. Let's do this. So once I got to Google, I knew, well, actually two of the executives pulled me aside at lunch after the event [00:26:00] and they were like, Hey, you know, you know, we wanna share something with you. You might want to consider doing this, you know, on your own as well.

[00:26:08] Cuz there's a heck of a marketplace in corporate America for this because CEOs and business owners need some kind of experience to create a huge shift in their people. And we don't know that there's anything out there. Anything like fire walking? We don't think there is. I mean, we're Google, you know, we, we, we have the information available to us, right?

[00:26:30] And I'm like, okay, well Google's telling you there's a marketplace, there probably is. And they were right, of course, obviously. Because I went from Google to NASA. I went from NASA to Notre Dame, to Virginia Tech, to Microsoft, to Heineken, to Remax, to Chick-fil-A, to the entrepreneur organization. I mean, I just, it just kept growing organically.

[00:26:51] And so here we are, you know, and I'm still, I'm still doing it today. The cool thing today is what I, what's happened for me now is I'm running the Dave Alban Fire Walk [00:27:00] Academy. And what we do there is we bring in people who wanna either come as a life coach and they want to enhance, you know, what you know their, what they offer to their clients.

[00:27:11] And or a company will send somebody from the HR department, we'll teach them how to do fire walking, glass walking, board breaks, arrow brakes, rebar, bending, a whole bunch of different things. And then they take those experiences back to their company and can facilitate, you know, for their own company. 

[00:27:29] Sabine: If you could give one piece of advice to my audience, what would that be?

[00:27:36] Dave: Stop looking for heroes and be one. 

[00:27:39] Sabine: Oh, I love it. I love it all. Thank you so much. If somebody wants to get in touch with you to become a firework facilitator to go through your academy, how can they do that? 

[00:27:52] Dave: They can go to www.firewalkadventures.com. Perfect and schedule a, [00:28:00] schedule a discovery call. They will personally talk to me and I'll take them through the interview process.

[00:28:06] And if we think it's a match and you've got good intentions and you're there to serve and you're there for love and connection and to really, really, Help change people's lives on a grand scale. You might find yourself at our academy next October. 

[00:28:21] Sabine: This was such an eye-opening, delightful, inspiring conversation. Dave, thank you for being on this show today. 

[00:28:31] Dave: It was my pleasure. Thanks, Sabine 

[00:28:33] Sabine: That was my interview, and if you enjoyed it, give us a five star review, leave a comment and share it with your friends. Thanks for listening until I see you again. Always remember, serve from the heart, follow your passion, and live the life you imagine.

Description: 

The world’s best Lifestyle Engineer, Zach White is sharing how losing his focus and balance ended in burnout and divorce. In his words: Nothing prepared me for the darkest days of my life. While he would never wish a tragedy on anyone, he was thankful for this experience. It forced him to ask bigger and better questions, and he was able to completely transform the way he works and how he lives, and he is going to share his wisdom with us today.

Shownotes: 

Zach shares his personal story of how losing his focus and balance led to burnout and ultimately, divorce. He reflects on the darkest days of his life and how this experience forced him to ask bigger and better questions, which led to a complete transformation in the way he works and lives.

Zach's journey is an inspiring one, and he generously shares his wisdom with us, providing insights into how to achieve balance, focus, and success in both our personal and professional lives. From his personal experiences, Zach has developed a unique approach to coaching, one that is holistic and takes into account all aspects of an individual's life.

 

In this episode, we discussed: 

1. Losing focus and balance can have serious consequences, including burnout and personal upheaval.

2. Difficult experiences can lead to personal growth and transformation as long as we're willing to ask bigger and better questions.

3. Zach's holistic approach to coaching takes into account all aspects of an individual's life and can help us achieve balance, focus, and success in both our personal and professional lives.

 

Connect with Zach White: 

Website - https://www.thehappyengineerpodcast.com   Podcast - https://plnk.to/the-happy-engineer

Zach White on Linkedin

 

Connect with Sabine Kvenberg: 

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Sabine Kvenberg on YouTube

BECOME Podpage

Sabine Kvenberg Resources

 

Transcript

00:00:00 Zach: The thing that will stand between you and your dreams is fear. And so we need to step out of our comfort zone, have the courage to face those fears, and take action in our life. So if there's one thing I could tell you, it's to crush comfort and create courage because the life of your dreams will not be found in your comfort zone. And the sooner you embrace that and start living out at the edges of what's possible for you, the faster you're gonna see your life increase in ways you could not even imagine.

00:00:34 Sabine: Hello, my name is Sabine Kvenberg, founder and host of BECOME. The  content will inspire you to reach your aspirations and become the best version of yourself. I feature interviews with successful individuals from various industries, delving into their personal and professional journeys and their strategies to achieve their goals. We have to become the person we are meant to be first. So we can live life, we are destined to live. That means we must overcome challenges and work through difficult times to learn, grow, and become the new more fabulous version of ourselves. I'm so glad that you are here. Let's get on this journey together.

00:01:25 Sabine: I had the pleasure of sitting down with the world's best lifestyle engineer, Zach White. If you want to see results in your life, you have to have the courage to step out of your comfort zone and pair that courage with a proven system of success, what he calls 

Lifestyle Engineering. And you can accelerate more than just your career. And this is what I talked with Zach about in our interview. Not only is he sharing his story, but you will learn what it takes to have more balance. Welcome, Zach. I'm so happy to have you as my guest today.

00:02:04 Zach: Oh, Sabine, it's a pleasure to be here. Thank you so much for inviting me. 

00:02:09 Sabine: Oh, let's get started by, just, tell us where you are right now. I think you are somewhere in Michigan, is that right?

00:02:19 Zach: Yeah, yeah. You found me sitting in my office, which is in a coworking space here in southwest Michigan. A small lake town. If you're not from the area, you wouldn't know it, but it's called Benton Harbor and just a mile from beautiful Lake Michigan. And I was mentioning  to you before the recording, so we were finally feeling some springtime weather, which for Michiganders, is a big deal, like putting that cloud cover and cold weather behind us, ready for some sunshine and some lake life. So bring it on.

00:02:53 Sabine: Oh, right. All right. And yeah, here, the sun is out, but here in Florida, it is seasonably cold. We are in the 60s, and for, end of March, it's pretty cold. So. But I guess, it all depends on.

00:03:11 Zach: That's right. It's all relative. Uh, 67. I can't wait for 67. That's, we're still a month or two away from 67, Sabine. 

00:03:20 Sabine: So Zach, you are a lifestyle engineering coach now, but you started out as an engineer. So how did you go from engineer solving problems to totally shift lifestyle? So how did that happen?

00:03:45 Zach: Yeah, well, I joke, Sabine, that I'm a mechanical engineer by my degrees, but I'm a lifestyle engineer through the school of hard knocks and life lessons. So my actual background is in mechanical engineering. To your comment, I have my bachelor's from Purdue and my masters from U of M, both in mechanical engineering. And I went into Whirlpool Corporation to build my engineering career with big aspirations and big goals. Just like most engineers who come outta college, do wanna make a name for yourself, make an impact, go get those promotions, and build a successful career. And in the journey towards that success, I made some big mistakes and I ended up burning out, finding myself divorced and depressed and disappointed with how my career had gone, but more importantly, how my life fell apart in the process. And it was the recovery from that rock bottom experience where lifestyle engineering was born, asking new questions, finding new ways to succeed, that considered my whole life's success, not just my career. And very happy to say it worked. I had incredible success after, and that's what then led to me doing this full-time as a coach and as a CEO of Oasis of Courage.

00:05:08 Sabine: Oh, fantastic. But one thing that you said, I think is so oftentimes overlooked, and that is the fact that sometimes we have to hit rock bottom to realize what we really ought to do in this world and what gives us the joy and the freedom to live a happy and fulfilled life. So when you started working and you had all the successes and your career took off, what was it that really made you realize the career is not everything? So what was that darkest time in your life that really made you, shall I say, wake up? 

00:06:03 Zach: The wake up call moment in anyone's journey is always, you know, very, you know, poignant, easy to remember exactly where I was. And Sabine, I'll tell you the story in my world, at the time, everything was fine. You know, I thought I had it all under control. And I was on a work trip out in Tennessee working at one of the factories where Whirlpool has a manufacturing facility. And Sabine, I came home from the trip and I was tired. It'd been a long trip, working long hours. And I really hadn't talked to my spouse very much while I was gone. And I was expecting to come home, to her being there. And the house was empty. And I walked in and I was confused, thought maybe she went out, you know, I called, she didn't answer. And then I'm walking around the house and I found a note on the table that essentially said, I don't think this is working. I'm ready to get divorced. 

00:07:05 Zach: And that moment for me was the wake up call. That's when my entire world came crashing down around me. And the truth is, looking back, Sabine, that I was lying to myself about everything being okay. The signs were there long before that moment, that things were not going well at home. But I had chosen to ignore it. I had chosen to pretend outwardly that everything was okay, and I just put my focus on the things that were working, and I ignored the things that were not working. And as you can imagine, the tension between that just grows and grows. And, you know, eventually to your point, if you don't do something, you hit rock  bottom. And I'll be honest, that was a very, very painful night. I mean, a lot of tears, a lot of heartache, but some powerful things shifted that night in my life. And it began with being honest with myself and being honest with the people who loved me. You know, calling my sister, calling my mom, telling them the truth for the first time that my life was not what I was pretending it was, and I needed help.

00:08:13 Sabine: Wow, what you said was so impactful that number one, we oftentimes, choose not to see the signs. We try to avoid and ignore them because it's uncomfortable. 

00:08:32 Zach: Yeah. 

00:08:32 Sabine: But if we do more of those, it becomes even more uncomfortable or even worse, like in your case, you found your house empty. What I liked, what you just shared, that for the first time, you were honest, you called your parents and your mom, your sister, and really told them as it was. Isn't it so true sometimes, in family we hide what's going on and because we don't wanna show our weaknesses perhaps? So what was the process once you get really raw and honest? What was the process for you as far as getting through it?

00:09:24 Zach: Grief comes first. You know, I'll be honest, the first few days or weeks, Sabine, were just kind of messy. Very messy. A lot of tears, a lot of confusion. But the relief of telling the truth the way I did, gave me enough weight off of my shoulders to take a next step. And for me, beyond just talking to the people I love, that was going to see a counselor, getting on the calendar, going and working with a professional therapist, that's saying, hey, this is happening. I need help. I'm in a lot of pain. And the grief is real. And you go through these stages of suffering and grief. And that was very real to me. It was very, I mean, physically painful, emotionally painful, spiritually painful to go through. But I think the most important thing was the willingness to sit in that place, to just allow the pain to be present.

00:10:22 Zach: And that's something that I was dodging to your point earlier, Sabine, like pretending that it wasn't there for so long. There was a lot of built up negative energy in my life that needed to be let go. And so that was the first stage, was just a willingness to let my life be a mess for a while, and acknowledge that I wasn't as, you know, well put together as everybody thought I was. But from there, after, you know, you're in that kind of trough place. Your face is grinding against the floor of rock bottom as it were, right? You know, then you stand up and you start to just put one foot in front of the other. And what I tell everybody, who I've coached, who's gone through any form of burnout or suffering or a rock bottom experience like this, or if you're going through it right now, you have to bring the time horizon in a little bit.

00:11:12 Zach: We're not gonna solve the whole thing in one move. We're not gonna go, create the perfect life in one day. Let's zoom, way in. I like to call it drawing smaller circles. Rather than solving for the big equation, let's just solve, for this afternoon, what are we gonna do this afternoon to make sure it's a little bit better than yesterday, to make sure we're not going back to those same patterns or habits that got us stuck in the first place and put one foot in front of the other. And as we build momentum, we can begin to extend that time horizon again and think about bigger goals and longer term dreams again, you know, entering into a new relationship. Again, in my case, all of those things. But at the start, let's just focus on the moment in front of us, right? What's the next thing we need to do in drawing those smaller circles and prioritizing a shorter time horizon because it's so overwhelming. We don't have the cognitive ability to go think about these longer term things. So that's my most important lesson from that time, was look, when you're really under pressure, when you're really overwhelmed, or if your life is completely confusing and falling apart, let's just zoom, way in. You don't need to solve everything. Let's just get today buttoned up the best we can, make the best next decision, and then we can come back to tomorrow.

00:12:33 Sabine: It's so true. Couple things that I got out of what you just shared. Number one, the willingness to sit and let it pass. And also recognize our grieve, our suffering, and not just chopping it away, because if we don't let it out, it just fester and make us perhaps bitter or whatnot, right? So.

00:12:59 Zach: Yeah.

00:12:59 Sabine: Just going through that process is a resolving process and resolving journey. And then you were able to move forward again. And what you did, you got help. And we all need help at one point or another in certain situations. 

00:13:21 Sabine: May is stroke awareness month. Life Line Screening can help detect someone's risk of having a stroke or cardiovascular disease. Each year, more than 700,000 people attend one of those screenings for peace of mind or early detection. And I am one of them. You see, my mother passed away from cardiovascular disease and I want to do everything I can to feel safe. So join me and schedule your screening today. To book your appointment, simply click the link in my show notes.

00:14:02 Sabine: Have you ever tried to build your own website, start a newsletter, or build a course and charge for it? Have you ever wanted to make money online but are totally confused by all the different systems you need to have? That's why I use Kajabi. You can build your webpages, blogs, and membership sites. You can create offers, check out pages, and collect money. You can host your videos, you can start your newsletter list, capture emails, start your marketing funnels all in one place. It makes it fun and easy with awesome tutorials and support. Since I've joined Kajabi from the beginning, I have a special affiliate link that I would like to share with you. A 30 day free trial. So nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Just go to my link that's in the show notes, sabinekvenberg.com/resources and we will redirect you to the free trial page. And if you are just starting out and want to get your offer out for sale in just three days, let me help you do that. Visit my webpage, by the way, that I build on Kajabi and apply to making it happen. Now, let's get back to the show.

00:15:33 Sabine: So after you went through that grieving process, and another thing that I liked what you're saying, taking one step at a time, cuz that's another thing I believe a lot of people think, oh, they have to resolve everything either in their personal life or even in business venture. If you have to go through a very challenging situation sometimes, no, you cannot go from A to Z in one step. You have to take steps in between. And those little steps, when was your decision to actually make changes in your life after you got through that grieving process that really led you to become the lifestyle engineer that you are today?

00:16:25 Zach: Yeah, Sabine, there was a point, and I wish I could pinpoint exactly when, but I really can't. It's something that came gradually through the healing journey where I realized that the passion and the ambition inside of me to be successful in my career, to make an impact with my life and in the world through engineering and through, you know, the great mind that God had given me and the the skills that I had and that was still inside me, right? Going through burnout and divorce and depression did not eliminate something that was born inside me and my purpose for life. And I still had that fire there to do something. But right next to the fire for achievement was this fear of going through something like I had gone through already. It's like, there must be a different way to go, achieve something meaningful with my life but not suffer like this.

00:17:26 Zach: And it was that moment where I said, okay, I don't know the answer to that, but I'm unwilling to do nothing. I would rather keep going and try again and fail again than do nothing. I'm more afraid of, you know, getting to the end of my life with regrets than I am afraid of failing again. And so that's when I hired my first coach. I had worked with a therapist on the grief and this idea of recovery and healing, but I knew from other people who I had as mentors and people I respected, that coaching was a powerful catalyst to forward progress and change and making results happen in your life. So I hired a coach and I presented them with this challenge and said, hey, I want success, but I don't want to go through this again. There must be another way. I need help.

00:18:16 Zach: And I began working with a coach and, you know, the rest is history in a way. I went on to five promotions in five years. I doubled my income, I had an incredibly fun time working less hours than I ever had before. And along the way, I captured all these lessons and really distilled it down for the engineering mind because, you know, as an engineer, we think a  bit differently. We approach the world a bit differently. And that became the lifestyle engineering blueprint that we now coach our clients in. But it was honestly just learning as I went, how to do this in a different way.

00:18:50 Sabine:Yeah. And as you said, as we experience, as we learn, we can implement and teach it to others. So how do engineers learn differently and what's the difference between an engineering mind and everybody else's mind?

00:19:08 Zach: Oh, we don't have enough time on this podcast to talk about all of the differences. You know, if you are an engineer, you already understand and appreciate some of this and most people know at least one engineer. And you can point to some of the stereotypes that are common. So let's just, you know, be honest about what these things are. For one, generally speaking, we'll paint with broad brushes here, more introverted, more shy, generally speaking, they see the world in a black and white way. And I'll include myself in this. I used to be this way because we're trained to go find the right answer. And mathematics and science and most of the schooling that we go through is all rooted in learning the principles and applying them to problems in a way that finds the solution. And we end up in this very narrow approach to living where everything has a solution and often it's one right answer.

00:20:03 Zach: Then we come outta college and go into our careers. And it's hard enough to face the reality that there's more than one way to design something or to solve the problem. Then you add on the complexity of all the emotional and social intelligence required to work on these complex cross-disciplinary teams. And it really can be overwhelming for a lot of engineers to adapt to that. On top of that, let's put even one more layer. The engineering mind is trained to go find everything that can break, everything that can go wrong, all the points of failure in every system. That's what we get paid to do. And we wanna take everything to a point of failure in life. It's like, this is the way we think in terms of design. Well, anybody who's in psychology or cognitive behavioral therapy or coaching will tell you, if the thing that you focus on constantly is the negative side, if all you're looking for are points of failure and what can go wrong, that's what you're going to continue to get more of and create, especially in your relationships. And people get frustrated at engineers for always, you know, shutting down their ideas or telling them how things can go wrong or not. Well, let's forgive them in a way cuz it's the only thing we're taught. 

00:21:22 Zach: And that creates a lot of problems in our relationships and in our lives as well as in your career development. So that's just naming a couple of obvious ones, Sabine. There's more, but we need to adapt the way we think about career growth and then lifestyle design. This idea of balancing the rest of our lives in the context of those challenges. You know, how do we overcome that in a way that engineers can wrap their heads around, which means systematically in a logical way, in a way that's gonna align with their strengths. Not just go tell an engineer, hey, stop being like an engineer. Like, that doesn't work. You can't just tell somebody to stop being themselves.

00:22:03 Sabine: No, that's so true and I really admire that you tackle that from that perspective, being an engineer. I mean, our two worlds can't be any more far apart because I'm on the total of the spectrum. I'm a creator. You know, I'm a performer. I'm just like.

00:22:26 Zach: Yes.

00:22:27 Sabine: Hey, show me the world, right? And math was never my strong point. I am not getting satisfaction with solving problems. I mean, I do, right? But you know what I'm saying? 

00:22:41 Zach: It's  different. It's different. 

00:22:42 Sabine: It's just different, right? But as you said, the engineers in this world and even if you are not an engineer, you might be an introvert, you might be a problem solver. That's your mentality, that's your personality. And those people are probably looking for a coach like you who can approach it from that angle. So I like that.

00:23:10 Zach: Yeah, you're right. It's not unique to engineers, that's just a group that I really resonate with. But for example, we have a client in our program right now who works in sales, but her mindset is an analytical one, and she has some of these same qualities in her approach and her background. And you would think, sales, how is it possible to be an introvert and succeed in sales? Well, you'd be amazed, you know, it's not uncommon for someone to end up in a place where they are constantly having to face some limitations, where their personality doesn't serve them in their role. And this is an example where someone says, okay, I really need to overcome these things in order to be successful, even more so than an engineer might. And so, yeah, there's a lot of people who connect with this approach, who may not be in STEM professions.

00:24:01 Sabine: And you also have a podcast called the Happy Engineer Podcast. So tell us about that podcast. Who are your guests and what you're trying to achieve with it?

00:24:15 Zach: Well, the Happy Engineer was named that because at the end of the day, if you get big success in your titles and promotions at paychecks, but you hate your life, then we have not succeeded yet. So I really believe, Sabine, what we're all looking for here is to love the journey towards our dream and our vision. So the Happy Engineer is an entire series of conversations around that idea. How do I build my career to the level that I want, whether that's CTO or just senior engineer, it doesn't matter. But also balance what I love in the rest of my life, to honor the time I want with my family, to take care of my health, to really look at myself as a whole person and not become a victim to some of the cultural challenges of, especially big organizations where the pressure to deliver can be so high and engineers are stressed out. 

00:25:09 Zach: Engineers are struggling with dealing with all these demands, especially when you add a spouse and some kids and a mortgage and all these other challenges of living life. So the Happy Engineer Podcast brings guests from engineering, you know, folks who've succeeded at this and are living on the other side of the lessons learned, as well as people from these other disciplines who can help us to address areas where we're not strong. You know, health coaches or mindset coaches, people who can really dig into the areas that an engineer may not explore very often on their own. Because we tend to be drawn to the sciences and we love to listen to tech speak and that kind of thing. So it's a very well-rounded set of conversations because I really do believe we wanna be well-rounded in our success.

00:25:54 Sabine: Absolutely. Absolutely. And I go onto podcasts with the wisdom that I can contribute to the audiences and, you know, it's all about that balance, right? And when we are open to listen to the other person or to the other “side,” just in general, it is very important to be open. Otherwise, we are getting so narrow minded, so almost, like the horses with those, what you call it, the sight.

00:26:33 Zach: The blinders. Yeah.

00:26:34 Sabine: The blinders, exactly. And you see it in all areas, you know, of personal and work related politics. Oh, my goodness. If we are not open to listen to others, then we can get really, really stuck. 

00:26:49 Zach: No doubt. 

00:26:50 Sabine: So, yeah.

00:26:51 Zach: Well, and you are a great role model of this, Sabine. I mean, I love your content. I actually just listened to episode 41 of Become with [Brandon Kumar Sammi]. He was on my podcast as well. And just the power of those conversations and the idea of becoming what this whole show is about, it begins with that openness. If you don't lean into a growth mindset and  an open coachable spirit, then you're gonna miss that opportunity to become the best version of yourself. So I think there's no one better to talk about this than you.

00:27:23 Sabine: Oh, good. Good. So, well maybe I'll… can tell something to your listeners as  well and contribute to your listeners. I would love to, but well, we are out of time. Oh, my goodness. You know, I always like having wonderful conversations. I could go on.

00:27:42 Zach: I know. I know.

00:27:43 Sabine: Forever and ever. So if people want to get in touch with you, what would be the best way?

00:27:51 Zach: Thank you, Sabine. And for what it's worth, I agree, we could go all day. I understand why Joe Rogan and some of these other podcasters have three and four hour long episodes because it's so fun to have these chats. You know, you mentioned the Happy Engineer Podcast already, and if someone out there is listening who wants to hear more from me or get deeper into lifestyle engineering, just wherever you're listening to become, jump over and give a  follow to the Happy Engineer. You'll find us on all the platforms. But if this really resonates for you, maybe you are an engineer or you know one who really needs help with this and is looking for support to build their career and get to the next level, it would be an absolute honor to give you a free coaching session and share with you what we do and how we support people and see if it's a fit to work together. So if that's you, then grab your phone and send a text message right now. The word, Lifestyle. The word Lifestyle, send that to 5-5-4-4-4. It's one of those short codes, really simple, Lifestyle to 5-5-4-4-4. We'll send you the information to get on our calendar. And if it's a fit, we'll get you a free session with me and provide as much value as we can. So it'd be an honor to do that for your listeners, Sabine.

00:29:02 Sabine: Oh, fantastic. And I'll make sure to have that information in our show notes as well. So if there would be one piece of advice that you would give, not only engineers, but just in general, maybe a quote or something like that, what would that be?

00:29:20 Zach: The thing that will stand between you and your dreams is fear. And so we need to step out of our comfort zone, have the courage to face those fears, and take action in your life. So if there's one thing I could tell you, it's crush comfort and create courage because the life of your dreams will not be found in your comfort zone. And the sooner you embrace that and start living out at the edges of what's possible for you, the faster you're gonna see your life increase in ways you could not even imagine. So crush comfort and create courage, that's a decision you'll never regret.

00:30:00 Sabine: Thank you so much. That was just a perfect ending for this podcast, and I wish you all the best and I look forward, having another conversation.

00:30:11 Zach: Thank you so much, Sabine. You're amazing. I appreciate the invitation and blessings to you and your amazing audience. It's been a pleasure.

00:30:18 Sabine: That was my interview. And if you enjoyed it, give us a five star review, leave a comment, and share it with your friends. Thanks for listening. Until I see you again. Always remember, serve from the heart, follow your passion, and live the life you imagine.

We are the writer, director, and main character of the movie we call Our Life. I share three ideas that helped me to live a more balanced and happy life and ultimately gave me a new direction.

 

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BECOME Podpage

Being in the health and fitness industry for years, Dai had a healthy and happy guy persona. On the flip side, he had an unhealthy practice. He was living a double life. Listen to his fascinating story of making a U-turn to save his marriage and become the super dad who is dating his wife. Today he is on a mission to positively impact one million role models around the globe to lead a FUN-ctionally fit life through education, encouragement, and community.

 

Shownotes:

Dai is sharing his story of overcoming addiction and living a double life, and how he saved his marriage and became the role model for his daughter.

He gives us a great insight into why we do what we do and the events that trigger certain behaviors.

 

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Description: 

 

Jeanell shares her story of quitting a high-level executive position and following her heart to live a more purpose-driven life. In her words: “One day I woke up, and something said to me Jeanell it’s time to go.”

Shownotes: 

 

Jeanelle's journey of self-discovery is nothing short of inspiring as she shares her experience of reconnecting with her spirituality and finding true fulfillment beyond the confines of financial success.  In this thought-provoking conversation, she shared her courageous decision to leave behind a thriving corporate career in pursuit of a life that aligns with her core values.

In this episode, you will be able to: 

 

1. The importance of honoring one's core values, listening to one's intuition, and finding alignment with one's soul's purpose.

2. How to live a more meaningful life from a fresh perspective.

3. Finding one's passions and striking a work-life balance are crucial.

Connect with Jeanell Greene:

Jeanell Greene

Jeanell Greene on Linkedin

Jeanell Greene on Instagram

Connect with Sabine Kvenberg: 

Sabine Kvenberg on Facebook
Sabine Kvenberg on Instagram

Sabine Kvenberg on Linkedin

Sabine Kvenberg on YouTube

BECOME Podpage

Sabine Kvenberg Resources

 

➤Are you looking for the finest online course platform to swiftly build and sell courses? Why not try Kajabi? All the tools of Kajabi make it easier for you to create online courses, podcasts, coaching, memberships, and more! Try the 30-day free trial and make the most out of it. And if you're just getting started and want to put your offer up for sale in three days or less, follow this link and apply to "MAKING IT HAPPEN."

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Jeanell: I found myself in sales because I love being with people. I'm very chatty and outgoing, and it worked. But then it came to a point where I realized that this was not what I felt that God had planned for me. I felt like that first half of my life, that first 40 years was great and I got to see and do some amazing and achieve some amazing things, but there was something that I felt was missing.

00:00:27 Sabine: Hello, my name is Sabine Kvenberg, founder and host of BECOME. The content will inspire you to reach your aspirations and become the best version of yourself. I feature interviews with successful individuals from various industries, delving into their personal and professional journeys and their strategies to achieve their goals. We have to become the person we are meant to be first so we can live the life we are destined to live. That means we must overcome challenges and work through difficult times to learn, grow, and become the new, more fabulous version of ourselves. I'm so glad that you're here. Let's get on this journey together.

00:01:18 Sabine: Hello and welcome, Jeanell. How are you? I'm so glad that I have you here as my guest today.

00:01:27 Jeanell: Thank you, Sabine. I'm happy to be here.

00:01:29 Sabine: So let me give our listeners just a quick view of who you are in a nutshell. Jeanell is a life and relationship coach who has a mission to save marriages and heal families from generational trauma caused in childhood. Before starting her own coaching practice, Jeanell was a highly successful sales executive in the software industry. But when she turned 40, God or the universe had a different plan in mind for her. She is proof that anything is possible and dreams can come true even if you have no idea how. Jeanell has a unique perspective that has allowed her to achieve more than most people do in 20 lifetimes. She lives by example and is committed to creating her dreams or her dream life every day. Hold on to your seats and welcome again, Jeanell.

00:02:39 Jeanell: Thank you, Sabine. Thank you so much.

00:02:42 Sabine: So where are you chiming in from?

00:02:45 Jeanell: I live in Vancouver, Canada.

00:02:48 Sabine: All right, fantastic. I have quite a few people that I interviewed in the past that are from Canada, so I love that this podcast show is international. So I also had people from South Africa, Australia, Germany. I love the diversity. So before we dive in, I just wanted to ask you, you are a certified life and relationship coach and you work with both couples and individuals. So was that always your dream career?

00:03:28 Jeanell: No, it's never dawned upon me until that moment when I was sitting on my couch just about to turn 40. You know, I've always been since I was a child, very talented and gifted. In school, I kind of just picked things up. I was a concert pianist, I was a competitive dancer. Everything just fell on my lap. And so I found myself in sales 'cuz I loved being with people. I'm very chatty and outgoing and it worked. But then it came to a point where I realized that this was not what I felt that God had planned for me. I felt like that first half of my life, that first 40 years was great and I got to see and do some amazing and achieved some amazing things, but there was something that I felt was missing.

00:04:20 Sabine: Yes. So you were in the corporate world, you had a six figure career and you gave that up basically. Was that in alignment when you turned 40 that you had all of a sudden that vision that there must be more in life? What was that pivotal moment for you that gave you that realization?

00:04:44 Jeanell: Yeah. Well, one thing I realized is I couldn't stay in a company for more than four years. Four years was kind of the limit that I would stay anywhere for in one place. And so I had actually just won a trip to Rome. Huh? I was one of the top 1% in the company, and they send their top performers on this exorbitant, extravagant luxury trip. And I remember going to my boss and saying, "You know, I don't know how much longer I wanna be here." And I remember him saying to me, "Well, what do you mean you're like at the top of the food chain, you're like winning all these things and you're doing so well. Why would you wanna leave?" And part of me was quite confused because yeah, why would I wanna leave, right? I'm getting whatever I want. I got to work from home. I sometimes work five, six hours a day making lots of money and people throwing all these prizes. And yet there was something missing inside of me. And it felt like there was a calling. It felt like I had not used up all of Jeanell. And so it was almost felt like whatever it is that I wanted to do next had to be all of me. And in sales, as much as I loved it, I felt like I had to wear a mask. I felt like I had to be someone else. I had to grow thick skin. I had to just not be authentically me. And I think a lot of us, as we get older, we really start to hear what that authenticity sounds like. And you know, you are much more aware when it's not, something's not right.

00:06:19 Sabine: Yeah. I totally get it.

00:06:21 Jeanell: Yeah. And so I actually quit my job. I had no plan B. I just, one day I woke up and something said to me, "Jeanell, it's, it's time to go." And so, I went downstairs and I said to my husband, "I'm gonna quit today." And he said, "What?" He said, "Are you sure about that?" He said, "Do you have anything lined up?" And I said, "Nope." But it just got to a point where my soul was screaming and it was crying and I just knew, I'm like, I can't do this anymore. And I couldn't tell you to be honest been why that was what that was. I just, you know, you just know your intuition is just really, really loud. And so I took the next six months to the next year just really trying to figure out who am I and what do I want?

00:07:10 Sabine: Right. And you know what the interesting part is that you followed your intuition. And a lot of people don't do this. They're not attuned to it. And when you come to that point that you realize that money is not everything, money alone doesn't give you the fulfilled life that we all really are searching for. And that's why I feel a lot of people in this world right now as we speak, are struggling with a physical health, with their mental health because of this unalignment, you know, they are not aligned with their soul. Their soul's purpose. And I truly believe that. And that's what this podcast is all about really. 

00:07:58 Jeanell: Yes. 

00:08:00 Sabine: Becoming your next greater self and really fulfilling your life's purpose. So you said, and I love what you said, you know, it doesn't match up with all the Jeanell that you are and that you know. So during that time that you took off, and I by the way hear this a lot in my interviews, that there has to be sometimes a time period where you are unsure, where you just have to be still, where you just have to take a rest for the universe to respond. And I hear that in you, too. So lead us through that process, that metamorphosis, so to speak.

00:08:43 Jeanell: Yeah. Well the first thing I started to do is I started to listen to some Christian music and just get reconnected to God because a lot of us, when we get into the grind, especially in corporate, we forget to feed our spiritual body, you know? And so I got reconnected to that, and then the next step I asked myself was why was I so unhappy? What was it that was missing? That was part of my core values that I was not honoring? Because like you said, if we're not in alignment, then we're gonna feel that pain, that struggle. But if you don't know what your center is, if you don't know what your core values is, you're never gonna know what makes you happy and what doesn't make you happy. And so I've spent a couple months just thinking, what is Jeanell's core values? So that whenever I do, if I look for a new job or I decide to start my own business, it's my center point. And what I discovered was I have five core values, and my five core values is family, fun, freedom, flow, and faith. And when I honor those five things, I am always good. And whenever I don't honor those things, I feel it. So as soon as I start to feel that icky feeling, I go back to my values and I go, okay, what, which of those values am I not honoring right now? And usually it's fun or faith.

00:10:14 Sabine: Yeah. Yeah. I can totally, totally relate to it because when we do something that we are passionate about and we are really engaged in our work, sometimes we forget. And not that it's not fun, right? But we still have to have a live balance with everything and said, "Wow, have I done anything fun lately? Like just going out on a canoe trip," or whatever it may be for you, right? And I totally get it. And this is when most people get burned out, by the way, if they're not in balance with their life,

00:10:55 Sabine: Let me hop in here real quick to share something with you. Have you ever tried to build your own website, start a newsletter, or build a course and charge for it? Have you ever wanted to make money online, but are totally confused by all the different systems you need to have? That's why I use Kajabi. Kajabi is the most popular system for online marketers, coaches, thought leaders, and influencers. Kajabi helps online entrepreneurs take off. Over 100,000 of us use Kajabi and have made over $4 billion. Why not be part of it? The best thing is you don't have to figure out tons of systems or crazy technology to start your online business. Kajabi helps you do all of that, and it's all on one platform. That's why I use it. It makes my life so much easier and I can even earn money while I'm sleeping. You can build your web pages, blogs, and membership sites. You can create offers, checkout pages, and collect money. You can host your videos. You can start your newsletter list, capture emails, start your marketing funnels all in one place. It makes it fun and easy with awesome tutorials and support. Since I've joined Kajabi from the beginning, I have a special affiliate link that I  would like to share with you. A 30-day free trial. So nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Just go to my link that's in the show notes sabinekvenberg.com/resources, and we will redirect you to the free trial page. And if you are just starting out and want to get your offer out for sale in just three days, let me help you do that. Visit my web page, by the way, that I built on Kajabi and apply to ‘MAKING IT HAPPEN’ So now, let's get back to the show. 

00:13:06 Sabine: So you rediscovered or discovered your five values that are very important to you. What was then the next step that helped you through that process to get to where you are now?

00:13:22 Jeanell: I asked myself, you know, who am I at the end of my life? What is it that I wanna be able to achieve? And what I discovered is I wanna be able to make a difference. I wanna make an impact in the world. I don't even care if people remember my name. I just wanna be able to have left this earth better than when I came. And so the question I asked myself was, what would be the greatest expression of my love? What does that look like? I mean, we all have love inside us and we all express it differently, right? Some of us are nurses, some of us like to cook. But I said, you know, what is authentically Jeanell? If God was able to create the perfect job for Jeanell, what would that job be? And so I really just started to brainstorm what are the things about life, about people? Where am I passionate? And you know, coming from corporate, I knew that I loved being with people. I love teaching, I love inspiring. And people listened to me. People really took in what I said. And so I actually hired my own coach to try to figure out my life. And in that process of her helping me, I realized that's what I wanna do, is I wanna be like her. I wanna be able to come into people's lives and help them find clarity and power and confidence and find themselves again.

00:14:51 Sabine: Yes. Yes. So, totally. You know, what you said is so, so true. You hired yourself a coach, even coaches need coaches. We consistently are growing. Absolutely. So what made you decide, have you had an experience that you could use that was really a dark time in your life perhaps that helped you to do what you do now?

00:15:18 Jeanell: Absolutely. I've had a lot of dark things happen in my life. You know, when I was nine, you know, I grew up with really great parents who loved each other a lot. They were affectionate, they were playful, they did everything together. But then when I was nine, my dad cheated on my mom, had an affair with my mom's best friend who was actively pursuing my dad. And he got her pregnant and he laughed. And I was nine, my sister was six, and my brother was three. So we were very young and because I'm the eldest, I was kind of my mom's sidekick. So she'd go on these like late night detective, hanging out in front of their house, waiting for them to come out. And I was her partner in all of that. And so that was a very difficult time in my life. But having gone through that, and so how this story ends, actually, lemme lemme finish the story. So my dad leaves, he gets sick three years later and he comes back to my mom and he says, and my mom is a nurse. And he says to my mom, "I'm sick, will you take care of me?" And my mom said, "Absolutely, yes. And you can come home under two conditions. Number one, you never go back. If you're here, you're here. And number two, we never talk about this ever again. We forgive, we forget, we move on." And she honored that. She never brought it up, never hung it over his head. And this is why I'm such an advocate of forgiveness. And I think we all need to learn how to not only forgive ourselves and then be able to forgive other people. But in that experience, I, you know, I thought that even though my dad came back and he passed away and it was peaceful and it was loving and we were there going into my twenties, I realized that there was still a lot of stuff that I hadn't resolved because of my dad. And what happened as a nine year old. And what I discovered doing the work was I had made three decisions at nine years old. I decided that I'm unlovable. I can't trust people and everybody I love will leave me. So even though, even though that was complete, that relationship was complete, the trauma still kept going. And so I've spent the last 20 years of my life daily still dealing with those things.

00:17:49 Sabine: Yes.

00:17:49 Jeanell: Right. And you know, now that I'm married, I'm married to the most incredible husband. You know, there's still things that he'll say that will trigger me because of my trust issues. But there's nothing there. But it's just this knee jerk reaction that I have to manage and be responsible for. But to answer your question, I think why I'm such a great... I know that I am such a great coach because I have so much compassion for people, because I have been through a lot of what they're dealing with. People pleasing, perfectionism, you know, abandonment issues, trust issues, confidence issues. You know, I was molested when I was nine. There's so much to share. But in the moment, and I wanna say this to the listeners in the moment, we think to ourselves, "Why me? Why did this happen to me?" But really what I'm discovering is everything happens to us for a reason. And it is up to us to find the gift, the lesson, the opportunity in every one of those challenging moments. Because it is in the challenge that we grow. It is not in the days when life is blissful that we actually grow. No, it is in those dark moments that those happen.

00:19:05 Sabine: Absolutely. I cannot agree more. And I see that is a recurring theme with all of my guests. That's when we grow, that's when we make a difference. And that's when we discover what we really can do. But the interesting part is what you mentioned, that especially when we are children, the experiences that we have there are in our subconscious mind, ingrained and consciously. We already, you know, say, okay, that was in the past. All right, whatever it's done. But it pops up at moments, why are we not getting through this? Or why are we not moving forward faster? Or why is there a block? And it's because of those same things that are in the past, it still have to be worked out and released. Were transformed into what was into how we can use it into what is now. And it's an ongoing work. That is very, very fascinating. But I want to go on to a little bit of a lighter subject now because I love stories. And one of the things that struck me when we connected was your crazy story. So one of the things that you shared with me that you met the Queen of England and was almost arrested. So can you share a little bit more about that?

00:20:40 Jeanell:Yes. So lemme just show you. So this is me, at six years old. That's my mom in the back with the camera and my sister in the background. And the reason... First I wanna share why I keep this picture. I dug it up when she passed away cuz it was in, you know, in my storage unit. And when I look at this little girl and what she had to go through to meet this woman and how she was unstoppable and she saw the moment escaping her. She was like, "No, I'm gonna run after her and I'm gonna go for it." And she got what she wanted. This is why I keep this picture in my office cuz I remind myself this is who I need to get back to.

00:21:26 Sabine: So you basically run out through the crowd, you know, and this little, little tiny one for the listeners here, I see this picture. I could see Jeanell, she was just out behind the... or in front of the barrier and just... she stood right in front of the queen and the queen was so gracious to look at her. And did she say something to you?

00:21:52 Jeanell: Yeah. So what happened is, this is actually, my mom used to work at the hospital and she came to open a new wing, to cut the ribbon. And I remember that day it was a cloudy day and my mom said, "We're gonna go see the queen." And I was a... like I told you earlier, I was a dancer. I knew how to courtesy, so I was like, "I need to show her my courtesy." And so we passed by a grocery store and I said, "Mom, we need to stop to get some flowers for the queen." And my mom is thinking to herself, "You're never gonna see the queen." So she goes and buys the cheapest flowers that she can find just to keep me quiet. When we get to this place. And they, as you see, they have the pillars and they have the yellow rope. And the RCMP comes through and says, you know, children are not allowed to pass this line, keep them back. Of course, everyone says yes, but of course, I'm so little, this rope is above my head, so it's easy for me to wonder. So we probably wait maybe an hour. And finally she comes down, and of course everyone is screaming, right? Trying to get her attention. And all the kids are throwing, you know, waving around their flowers and I'm screaming, "[inaudible] I have flowers for you," Of course she doesn't see me, hear me. And I see her, I notice, I'm like, "Oh no, she's leaving, but I have flowers," so what do I go, do I just make this decision? Like, "Okay, I'm gonna go for it." And I just bolted and I just ran after her. And everybody in the entourage turns around and then the police start chasing me. But she sees this happening, so  she waves them off. She's like, "It's okay, it's okay" So she walks back to this area to where I'm standing and she just says to me, she says, "Are these for me?" And I said, "Yes, you're majesty." And she said, "Oh, thank you so much dear." And I courtesied and they took the picture as she was grabbing the flowers to me, and I got on the front page of the newspaper.

00:23:55 Sabine: Oh, how fun. What a fun story this is. I love it. I love it. Thanks so much for sharing. Which also gives us another little golden nugget. And that is, if you really want something, you go after it. No matter how difficult it may seem, or it seems impossible, you just do it. Great reminder.

00:24:23 Jeanell: Yeah. I knew in that moment that this moment was never gonna come again. And I was like, I either let it go or I go after it and I feel like that's how I've tried to live my life.

00:24:35 Sabine: I love it. I love it. So, Jeanell, if people want to get in touch with you, what is the best way to do that?

00:24:43 Jeanell: Yes, they can reach me on my website at jeanellegreen.com or at saveourmarriage.ca

00:24:53 Sabine: And I will make sure to put it in the show notes as well. Thank you so much for sharing your story and insights and I wish you many, many more years of excitement and just life full of new experiences.

00:25:13 Jeanell: Thank you.

00:25:14 Sabine: That was my interview, and if you enjoyed it, give us a five star review, leave a comment and share it with your friends. Thanks for listening. Until I see you again. Always remember, serve from the heart, follow your passion and live the life you imagine.

 

Description: 

 

Julie Jones was one of the first three females on the SWAT team. She shares how she broke free from the old way of living, not taking no for an answer and following her own dreams.

Shownotes: 

 

When Julie Jones joined the SWAT team, she had no idea that a devastating diagnosis would lead her on an unexpected journey to become an entrepreneur. Through courage, resilience, and risk-taking, she has achieved her dreams and encourages others to do the same. But what is the secret to her success, and how can others use it to achieve their goals?

In this episode, you will be able to: 

1. Discover the significance of resilience and perseverance in your entrepreneurial journey. 

2. Uncover the value of networking and forming substantial connections. 

3. Recognize the necessity of striking a balance between work and life for all-encompassing well-being. 

4. Grasp the art of taking measured risks and capitalizing on opportunities for continuous growth. 

5. Realize the essence of nurturing authentic relationships by offering assistance to others in the first place.

 

Connect with Julie Jones: 

Julie Jones Website

 

Connect with Sabine Kvenberg: 

https://www.sabinekvenberg.com/resources 

Sabine Kvenberg on Facebook
Sabine Kvenberg on Instagram

Sabine Kvenberg on Linkedin

Sabine Kvenberg on YouTube

BECOME Podpage

 

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Julie: He knew about being an employee. And so I grew up with that same mindset, that same mindset of, okay, you work for somebody, you retire, you get the pension, the gold watch, all that kind of stuff. Being an entrepreneur was nowhere. Nowhere, I will say in my world because there wasn't anybody. Again, I was the first one to go to college. Then I get this idea that I'm going to work for myself, that I'm going to have my own business.

00:00:27 Sabine: Hello, my name is Sabine Kvenberg, founder and host of BECOME. The content will inspire you to reach your aspirations and become the best version of yourself. I feature interviews with successful individuals from various industries, delving into their personal and professional journeys and their strategies to achieve their goals. We have to become the person we are meant to be first so we can live the life we are destined to live. That means we must overcome challenges and work through difficult times to learn, grow, and become the new, more fabulous version of ourselves. I'm so glad that you're here. Let's get on this journey together.

00:01:19 Sabine: Hello and welcome, Julie Jones. I love that, the JJ, Julie Jones, the coach that's Getting Shit or the Get Shit Done coaching. So as you can see, she is so lively with her colors and hair and whatnot. So I'm so excited to have you here today. 

00:01:38 Julie: Well, I am so excited to be here and thank you. And you know, it's funny because most people don't ever just say my first name. The alliteration Julie Jones just seems to run off, easily off people's tongue. So I'm used to Julie Jones. Whether or not they know me or not, it's Julie Jones.

00:01:59 Sabine: Yeah. Oh, that reminds me, on this one, one of my favorite movies called The Holiday. And she introduced herself as, who are you? Amanda Woods. Oh, Amanda Woods. Amanda Woods. Like her one first name, right? It was funny. Anyways, I digress. So today, I would love to hear your story because your story and your journey is quite exciting. You actually started out before you even get into this coaching. You were a police officer, right? So tell me about, first of all, how you got to become a police officer. 

00:02:41 Julie: Wow, we're going back. So that's an interesting kind of journey. I had been best friends growing up, and we're still friends today. So I met my best friend in kindergarten, and her father was a police officer. And I didn't realize how much of an impact that that had on me, like, kind of hanging out in that environment until when I was deciding to go to college. And I was the first one in my family to go to college. I had been very strong in math, technology, science, those types of fields. And so I was going to be a medical technologist. I was going to do labs and all these kinds of things. And then my junior year of high school, I decided to start looking for colleges that offered criminal justice. So I have a Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice with a minor in psychology. My intention was to go into the Secret Service. And it was during a career fair at my college that I found out you had to have almost perfect vision, almost 20/20 uncorrected for Secret Service, which I had no idea. At that time, I was legally blind. I was 2800 in my one eye and 21,000. I did wear contacts. But you couldn't have corrected vision and have that severe of blindness, I guess, is the best way to put it. So I decided to then pursue a career in law enforcement. Not FBI, not Secret Service. The Feds didn't want me, but the cities did, so that's where I ended up. 

00:04:15 Sabine: So you were a police officer and also a SWAT member, right? 

00:04:22 Julie: That is correct. So I did spend my career on patrol, and there was an opportunity to be on the SWAT team. And so our SWAT team at the time was an on call position, so we wore pagers. Okay, I'm dating myself because I'm talking about pagers, but we wore pagers 24/7. And then when a serious incident would come in, we would be paged to come in and to handle the call. And boy, now things have really even changed in that department because it's a pretty significantly busier department than even when I was on. And so, yeah, I was on the SWAT team. I often say, and it's a story of my resilience of two, if there's something I really want in life, how I go for it, and I don't take no for an answer. I was only the third female hire on by my department, which I really had no trouble with the men that I worked with, with me being female because I proved myself early on. 

00:05:19 Julie: But when I went out for the SWAT team, believe it or not, I'm six foot tall, at that point, I just didn't have enough upper body strength, so I wasn't able to get over the six foot wall. And one of the guys, in his infinite wisdom, decided to give me a little boost, which disqualified me. And the sergeant that was running the obstacle course, he pulled me on the side. I said, I know I'm disqualified. It's okay. I worked out even harder. I improved my upper body strength the second time because I really wanted to be on the team. The second time that I went out for it, I passed everything with flying colors. I officially got onto the SWAT team on my own, and that was how I always wanted to do things, was didn't matter if you were male or female, it was the most qualified that, who was getting on the team. And I proved myself. 

00:06:08 Sabine: Absolutely. And it also shows that you had perseverance. You didn't let this incident discourage you or say, well, I cannot make it. No, even more. And that's how you lived your life. Now, how did you make the transition to say, okay, enough with the police stuff? 

00:06:31 Julie: Well, it was twofold. So I had been a police officer in Milwaukee, Wisconsin area. And then I moved about 21 years ago to Arizona, which is where I currently live now. And it was during that time that a couple of things happened. First and foremost, I realized that in law enforcement, as much as I loved it and that I was very good at it, I really was. I had great communication skills. There were so many things, yet there was just a lot of negativity for me. And one of the hardest things I ever did as a law enforcement officer was give death notifications. So I saw how quickly life changed, here today, gone tomorrow. 

00:07:11 Julie: And when I moved to Arizona, I had the application pulled. I was going to go back into law enforcement. And then it personally hit me that my mom, at the age of, young age of 57, was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. And it was in that moment that my mom's dreams and my father's dreams went to the wayside because they were of the generation that you retired and you waited till retirement to be able to have the lifestyle, to live the dreams, to live the goals, everything you had worked so hard for. And I realized that I wasn't going to wait anymore to start living my life, that I was going to start living in the moment. So that's exactly what happened. I pursued career paths that gave me the opportunity to be able to really help people. 

00:08:00 Julie: See, I've always wanted to help people. I've had this strong desire to help and serve and love people. I just wasn't able to do it in law enforcement as much as I would have liked to have done. So that's what made me transition into speaking, coaching. Eventually, now, I have a television show. So all these things and it's been a journey, but it was the personal journey of losing my mom and then eventually losing my grandmother that really got those wheels turning to get off the hamster wheel.

00:08:32 Sabine: And I totally get it. I think things changed in the world that we live today. People are not waiting any longer or don't want to wait any longer, right? They're even frustrated in the jobs that they're in right now because it doesn't give them the security and they are not appreciated most of the time and they just feel that life is passing by. And having that mentality, well, wait until you retire and then you have fun. No, I love that you took that moment in time to make that shift. Now, how hard or difficult was it? Or maybe not, when you made the decision you're not going to go back to law enforcement, you start your own business. How was that journey for you? 

00:09:27 Julie: Honestly, Sabine, I think for anybody, life is about ups and downs. It really, truly is. There were moments that I was so excited about what I was doing, and then there were moments where, oh, my gosh, what did I just decide to do? See, because again, my parents, especially my father, because my father worked full time and supported our family. He started working at the age of 25. And he retired at 55, and he put 30 years in for the city of Milwaukee. So that was what he knew. He knew about being an employee. And so I grew up with that same mindset, that same mindset of, okay, you work for somebody, you retire, you get the pension, the gold watch, all that kind of stuff. 

00:10:13 Julie: Being an entrepreneur was nowhere. Nowhere, I will say, in my world, because there wasn't anybody. Again, I was the first one to go to college. Then I get this idea that I'm going to work for myself, that I'm going to have my own business, and if there's anything that I know about myself is that I'm a risk taker. I'm like, okay, I don't know exactly what this is going to look like, and I'm going to figure it out. And there were times, like, for all of us, I would want to just curl up and cry because I'm like, okay, maybe this isn't exactly everything that I thought it was going to be, but the one thing that I knew, and I knew so well is that, again, that resilience, that perseverance, the saying yes to life opportunities. Because my mom and dad, both, my mom died with her dreams going to the grave. My dad did as well because he first initially helped my mom take care of her when she was sick. And then, more importantly, when she passed away, that was it. He had all of his dreams built around a life that was going to be spent with her. 

00:11:19 Julie: And if I knew one thing, I knew one thing that I was not going to follow that same path. And trust me, there were times that I knew it would be easier for me to fall back on getting an application, filling it out for a police department and going back in, because any department would have been happy to have me based on my experience, based on my communication skills, based on everything that I brought to the table. But I won't quit. I just will not quit. And I will figure out a way to make it happen. And I got support. If you're an entrepreneur listening into this, it's all about the support. One of the biggest things I can say is, don't be a lone ranger. We're not designed to be in it alone. Find the people. Find your tribe that are going to support you in making your dreams and helping you to make your dreams come true. 

00:12:13 Sabine: Let me hop in here real quick to share something with you. Have you ever tried to build your own website, start a newsletter, or build a course and charge for it? Have you ever wanted to make money online, but are totally confused by all the different systems you need to have? That's why I use Kajabi. Kajabi is the most popular system for online marketers, coaches, thought leaders, and influencers. Kajabi helps online entrepreneurs take off. Over 100,000 of us use Kajabi and have made over $4 billion. Why not be part of it? The best thing is you don't have to figure out tons of systems or crazy technology to start your online business. Kajabi helps you do all of that, and it's all on one platform. That's why I use it. It makes my life so much easier and I can even earn money while I'm sleeping. You can build your web pages, blogs, and membership sites. You can create offers, checkout pages, and collect money. You can host your videos. You can start your newsletter list, capture emails, start your marketing funnels all in one place. It makes it fun and easy with awesome tutorials and support.

 

00:13:39 Sabine: Since I've joined Kajabi from the beginning, I have a special affiliate link that I  would like to share with you. A 30 day free trial. So nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Just go to my link that's in the show notes sabinekvenberg.com/resources, and we will redirect you to the free trial page. And if you are just starting out and want to get your offer out for sale in just three days, let me help you do that. Visit my web page, by the way, that I build on Kajabi and apply to making it happen. So now, let's get back to the show. 

00:14:24 Sabine: It's so, so important. It's true. You got to have a support system. Now, how did you build your support system? Say, you started out, okay, I'm going to become a coach. I'm going to share my knowledge. But how did you get the support that you needed? And what were the path that you took? 

00:14:48 Julie: The biggest support system and the biggest thing that I did was effective networking. See, the state of Arizona is very unique in the fact that everybody is almost a transplant. I do find natives now, but it seemed like 20 years ago. It was very rare to find a native, someone who had been born and raised in Arizona. So I remember growing up in Wisconsin that you always knew who you were going to use. Like, imagine this, the TV repairman. There was a time where TVs got repaired, right? And so with that, everybody in the neighborhood called the same TV repairman, right? We all knew who to call, and that was based on referral, kind of thing, but we just all knew. You came to Arizona. And I had some pretty bad experiences initially with some different services because I didn't know who to use and I didn't know who to call. And even 20 years ago, Facebook wasn't like you didn't go to Facebook and say, hey, who do you use, right? 

00:15:52 Julie: So I started networking. I mean, I just kept putting myself out there and I started building relationships and I started connecting with people. And what I discovered, which I've always known about myself, is I'm a master connector of people. So it wasn't so much about what was happening for me. I would get so excited. When I met, like Sabine, I mean, like how we met, right? We met through Melissa Dealy. Melissa Dealy knows both of us. She introduces us as I think the two of you would be a great connection. And now the rest is history. I'm on your podcast. You're going to be on my podcast, right? We instantly had such a great conversation when we met and that's exactly what I love to do. So I have built everything that I have. Some of my best friends, all of my resources, so many amazing things in my life have all stemmed from networking and really caring about people first and helping them first before I ever asked really for support for myself. 

00:16:55 Sabine: This is a very important part to really helping others first and then everything else will fall in place. Always start giving and then you will receive on the other end. Maybe not from that same person, but it comes from different sources. If you would give someone advice today who is an entrepreneur or wants to become an entrepreneur, obviously we are living in different times than it was 20 years ago. Now we are in this fast paced, ever so fast changing business models and environment and with social media and so forth. So what would be your advice for a new or aspiring entrepreneur to become successful? 

00:17:46 Julie: Well, it's a little twofold. They fall under the same category. But I'm just going to say if you don't ask, you don't get. So it's really about asking and putting yourself out there. I know that that can be uncomfortable at times, but really ask for what you want. And the more you put it out there, you will be surprised at maybe, the person in front of you isn't able to help  you, but they have a contact who can. Because with social media, with everything that's out there, Kevin Bacon said it's six degrees of separation. I think it's two. Especially with social media, it's like you look at somebody's profile, you're like, how do we have all these mutual friends? And we've never had an opportunity to meet each other. But in the asking, I'm always about saying yes to life opportunities and remember that no is a complete sentence. And so by that I mean a lot of times as an entrepreneur, you're going to be bombarded with so many things, so many requests. And remember, that when you say yes to any of those requests, you may be saying no to another priority in your life. 

00:18:51 Julie: So with the asking comes knowing what your priorities are and what you're really focused in on. It's very easy to leave sometimes a company and leave corporate America because you're tired of being on the hamster wheel, but then to recreate the hamster wheel because of the fact that you're working 24/7. A lot of it is delegation and some other things. There's so many things, but it's really the art of saying no, saying yes to the get to’s, saying no to the have to’s, and making sure that you ask for what you want.

00:19:27 Sabine: That was good to the point. You are so right. Especially when we start out, we think we have to grab every opportunity, say yes to everybody, and be on everybody's radar and be on everybody's group. And then you don't do nothing because you can't, you cannot have meaningful conversations or connections. And it's also interesting when you put your intentions into making meaningful connections, those connections will come and be very aware. And that's the first thing to start out, be very aware in setting priorities, as you said. So you mentioned you have your own TV show. What type of show is it? What do you do? 

00:20:13 Julie: Well, so my platform or my core message, as I like to talk about, is the premise of stop waiting, start living. So it is based on what I saw as a law enforcement officer and what I saw in my own life and that we don't know how much time we have. So I just really want to inspire people to start taking action in the now. Really, it's all about we can put off everything for tomorrow and we don't know if tomorrow is ever going to come. So the TV show can be found on Roku, Amazon, Apple, on the internet. It's on a station called Zondra. I know people are like Zondra. It's a Z. Z as in zebra. Ondra, O-N-D-R-A. That's the Zondra network. And the basis of the show is very similar to my core message. So I interview business owners and people don't always need to have a business. They may have a passion project where things have happened in their life, have knocked them down over and over and over again, and still they continue to get back up, rise to the occasion, and build the life of their dreams.

00:21:22 Sabine: Was there a time or a period in your life that you went through that, always you were knocked down again, knocked down and came to a point, it's like, oh? Have you experienced something like that? 

00:21:40 Julie: I have. And it was around the time that interestingly enough, where, you know, I don't know when this is going to broadcast, but we're taping in March of 2023. And this month, my mom is gone 19 years. 19 years, but a month to the day after she passed away, my grandmother passed away. So now I have two strong female figures in my life that had a big influence on me, passed away within 30 days. And I have never experienced anything like that. Of course. I mean, it was traumatic, but more importantly, what it did was I started to spiral. And my husband at the time, who's now my ex husband, he basically told me. He's like, listen, if you don't go _____ down, our relationship is not going to weather this storm. And so I went to go, see a doctor, and I ended up being diagnosed with depression. And at that time, 19 years ago, I think that there was a different connotation of depression. I really looked at it as a stigma. I was like, oh, my gosh, I'm being diagnosed with depression. 

 

00:22:49 Julie: What does this mean for me in my life? And I had a hard time. I mean, I was put on an antidepressant, and I was on that for a while. And I just didn't have the motivation, the energy. I mean, I remember sitting couch a lot. I remember drinking a lot. There were a lot of things, and it just took me down that rabbit hole. I just spiraled. The medication eventually did start to kick in and start to help. And then, because I'm such a proponent of finding natural solutions, I found some really great supplementation, that helped me get off the antidepressants. And then it was in those moments again that it just became very clear. All right, mom passed. Grandma passed. Again, you don't know how much time you have, so get off the couch and start going after your dreams. And so that's exactly what I did. And it didn't happen overnight. I'm telling you, it was a process.

00:23:48 Julie: My heart goes out to anyone who struggles, and that wasn't my only struggle. That was 19 years ago. And I always tell people, my life is not sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. Just recently, a little less than two years ago, my husband and I were at a wedding, and he had a massive seizure, and he died at the wedding, and they resuscitated him. And so watching someone that you love, again, it triggers everything back again, right? And so having to deal with that traumatic incident, and I was a week and a half out of releasing my first book. And so having to make the decision, do I release my book or do I put it on hold? And again, because the book was Stop Waiting, Start Living, I knew that I had to put my book out, and I did. 

00:24:40 Sabine: Yeah. Wow. I mean, it was something, you see the person that you love die before you. That's stress. That is an unbelievable experience. And thank God that they were able to bring him back, and you were able to have, now continuous love in your life. But you're right. We never know when our time is up. Yeah. Living now is sometimes a decision that you have to make. 

00:25:13 Julie: Well, and to your point, that's why I sometimes think that, especially in the United States, it's backwards. I know in a lot of countries, when people take holiday, it's two weeks, three weeks, maybe a month. There are some countries that take siestas in the afternoon. They have a little bit of a slower pace. And I know that things are changing because of technology. But often with my parents, okay, they had the money. Now, they have the time. My mom didn't have the health, right? And so that's where at any given time, our health can be taken away from us. So it's like, I would rather travel now, like you said, have that balancing. Well, I still have my health that I can do the things that I want versus maybe, be in my 70s or my 80s or my 90s because I plan to live a long, long time, right? 

00:26:04 Sabine: Yeah. 

00:26:05 Julie: But you're not able to get around as much, and maybe you're not able to climb those mountains or go to those waterfalls or do what it is that you want because maybe you're a little unsteady on your feet. So as much as possible, I incorporate. It's like, work hard, play hard. 

00:26:23 Sabine: That's right. 

00:26:24 Julie: That's what I love to do. 

00:26:26 Sabine: That's right. So if people want to get in touch with you, Julie, what's the best way for them? 

00:26:32 Julie: The best way is, connectwithjuliejones.com. Just how it sounds. connectwithjuliejones.com. 

00:26:41 Sabine: And I'll make sure to put your contact information in the show notes. Julie, thank you so much for being here and sharing your wisdom and your lively energy today. 

00:26:52 Julie: You are so welcome. And I have to end with my trademark because this is what I'm all about. I'm known for these googly-eye glasses because you know what? And I've had so much fun with you here today. If you're not having fun, then you need to reevaluate some things, because life is all about making the most of every moment. 

 

00:27:14 Sabine: And that's the mic drop. And for the listeners here, because we have that conversation via Zoom, via video, and Julie just put her lovely, funny eyeglasses on. So you definitely got me giggling here. All right, well, you have a wonderful rest of the day.

00:27:35 Julie: Thank you. Thank you. 

00:27:37 Sabine: That was my interview. And if you enjoyed it, give us a five star review, leave a comment, and share it with your friends. Thanks for listening. Until I see you again, always remember, serve from the heart, follow your passion, and live the life you imagine. 

On the first Thursday of the month, I am sharing with you tips, tools, and success principles and practices. I am glad that you are here. If you would like to have me or my guest cover a specific topic, please leave a comment.

 

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Paul Baron is an Entrepreneur at heart, and at Age 71, he shows no signs of stopping. Paul shares his journey of becoming an accidental entrepreneur, developing, selling, and buying many different businesses, earning lots, and losing it all. From starting a sporting goods retail store to high-end restaurants and a high-tech Vertical Printer Company, he experienced it all. In his words, as long as I find passion and can stand behind a product or company, it’s a go.

 

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. How Paul Baron become a lifelong Entrepreneur

2. How he overcame bankruptcy and started several new businesses

3. How he spots new opportunities

 

To get more information and get in touch with Paul visit

The Wall Printer: https://thewallprinter.com/  Paul's Personal LinkedIn for connecting: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pbbaron/  ​On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wallprintingusa/  On LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/thewallprinter  On YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheWallPrinter  On Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thewallprinter/ 

 

 

Connect with Sabine Kvenberg: 

Free Resources: https://www.sabinekvenberg.com/resources 

Sabine Kvenberg on Facebook

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BECOME Podpage

 

Sabine 0:07 

Hello, Paul, how are you today?

 

Paul 0:11 

I couldn't be better. I'd have to be twins. Again. Thank you for inviting me to join you and your audience.

 

Sabine  0:16 

The pleasure is all mine. Paul, you are the founder and CEO of the wall printer USA, which is a vertical printer. And this is really fascinating. I've never heard of a vertical printer and my question to you is, how does it work? Why would we want to have a vertical printer and who uses it?

 

Paul  0:40 

So those are all great questions. And the fact that you have never heard about it before, does not make you a loan setting. The vertical printing while it's not a very new technology, it's about 15 years old. It originated in Southeast Asia. And that's where most of the users of this technology have been until I came on board and discovered it. And they have the same reaction that you have that most people have. Well, gee, I've never seen anything like this before. And for the benefit of your audience. This is a machine that is a printing machine like an inkjet printer on steroids that moves up and down as opposed to your desktop printer that prints on a piece of paper. This is designed with a printhead that is exposed to the wall and will go up and down a vertical rail and print any digital art on any wall surface, indoors or outdoors. There's no limit to the width or the height of the mural, or the picture or the text that you can print. It's whether you want to use it for signage or artwork. But that's who uses it people who want to put artwork on walls.

 

Sabine  1:50 

You started very recent just in 2019. So that leads me really onto your journey. Did you always know that you wanted to become an entrepreneur.

 

Paul  2:03 

So I wanted to be a math teacher. That's what I started doing. But early on, while I was in college to supplement the good graces of my parents financial support, and to have some spending money beyond that. I got a job stringing tennis rackets and something turned out I was very good at and people liked the result of my work. So after I graduated college and got a teaching job, I also opened up a littles tennis sporting goods store with a friend and who's also involved in the tennis community that I was in in the upstate New York town where I went to college. And that store became one store two stores, three stores. And it was a successful venture. And it was taking more and more of my time because I was enjoying learning not only the interactions with the customers, but the vendors, looking at what people wanted looking forward in terms of not only tennis equipment, but then it be expanded beyond that into other areas of sporting goods and clothing and different equipment and things. And so I really enjoyed the process of not only understanding on things like inventory management and the financial aspects of that venture. And mostly the customer relationships is what I enjoyed more than anything else. So early on. I kind of learned the hats I like to wear and the ones I didn't like to wear. What got me passionate about something and what didn't. And I gravitated towards those situations that allowed me to have those interactive relationships with whether it be customers or vendors or whatever. And and so I stopped teaching after three years because basically, the school administration gave me an ultimatum they knew that I had a interest in the retail sporting goods store that was growing rapidly. And they said, Paul, we'd like your teaching. We'd like to keep you here. But we understand that your attention is divided. You've got to make a decision. And so basically, in my early 20s, they helped me make that decision. And I decided I really enjoyed the business world. And so I went that route

 

Sabine  4:11 

this is really the beginning of your entrepreneurial journey. have can you think back at a time that you really had to face a big challenge in your business life? And that was probably nerve racking. Was there something like that or did you just sail through very smoothly?

 

Paul 4:36 

There was no selling involved except the kind I did on the war. There was there were there are pivots all the time there are challenges always being presented, whether working for a company deciding whether or not that's what I really liked doing enjoy doing and was getting out of it. What is would contribute to my growth path and career path, both personally and financially. But, you know, if there was one thing that that happened that may have, well, like I said, there are multiple pivot points. After three years of going to tennis businesses, a family friend, who saw what I was doing asked me to come work for him for his company, because he was at a at a juncture where he wanted somebody with what he saw with a kind of independent skills that I possessed in growing my stores, and he wanted me to join his company and he made me the proverbial offer I could not refuse. And my partner accepted a buyout where I was able to sell my interest in my sporting stores to my friend and partner at the time. And I went off to on this next journey of mine, which was really the next second path or third path after teaching to my sporting goods store, to being a manager and a salesperson for this jewelry manufacturing company. And I was making more money than I could have thought of I was I was doing really well. I was working very hard two weeks traveling a lot. visiting customers and then two weeks managing factory and overseeing orders. I was learning a lot about manufacturing, distribution, managing people, and I was learning more about the things I enjoyed doing the things I didn't enjoy doing. Once again gravitating to those relationships. I enjoyed the sales process. I enjoyed marketing, finding customers, and then engaging with them. And so after two years with this company I had that I received a bonus from them at a Christmas time which was very generous at the time. And like I said I was doing very well I was still in my 20s making more money than I really thought I would be making had a very good life as busy as it might have might have been with the work environment. But I also know that the owners and the company as soon as I was aware of the finances, they benefited tremendously as well as they should because they own the company. They are the risk takers, and that's something else I appreciated and learned early on from having my own small business that I went to the owner and I said to him, I said look, I really enjoy working here. But I really think I deserve a raise even though I've been making good money and being paid fairly. And he said something to me which carried me through which is kind of like the answer to your question about you know, things that that you learn and things that help you identify the pivot points in your life, should they should they be faced the old Yogi Berra when you come to a fork in the road taking? And so at this point, I said, you know, I think I deserve a raise. And he said to me, he said Paul, I'm going to tell you this and take it for whatever it's worth. It goes. When you work for me, I will make sure you're paid more than anybody else will pay you. But know this you will never make what you think you're worth. If you don't work for yourself. And so I took that to heart because that again, exemplify that whole aspect of risk taking. You could win you could lose when you take risks, but if you're but if a company succeeds you you you are going to and you will benefit more than you would otherwise. And so I took that to heart and I quit.

 

Sabine  8:27 

Let me hop in here real quick to share something with you. Have you ever tried to build your own website, start a newsletter or build a course and charge for it? Have you ever wanted to make money online but I'm totally confused by all the different systems you need to have. That's why I use Kajabi Kajabi is the most popular system for online marketers, coaches thought leaders and influencers Kajabi helps online entrepreneurs take off. Over 100 1000s of us use Kajabi and have made over $4 billion. Why not be part of it? The best thing is you don't have to figure out tons of systems or crazy technology to start your online business. Kajabi helps you do all of that. And it's all on one platform. That's why I use it. It makes my life so much easier. And I can even earn money while I was sleeping. You can build your web pages blogs and membership sites you can create offers checkout pages, and collect money. You can host your videos. You can start your newsletter list capture emails, start your marketing funnels all in one place. It makes it fun and easy with awesome tutorials and support. Since I've joined Kajabi from the beginning, I have a special affiliate link that I would like to share with you a 30 day free trial. So nothing to lose but everything to gain. Just go to my link that's in the show notes. Sabine kvenberg.com forward slash resources and we will redirect you to the free trial page. If you are just starting out and want to get you offer out for sale just three days. Let me help you do that. Visit my webpage by the way that I build on Kajabi and apply to making it happen. So now let's get back to the show.

 

Paul 10:39 

I quit the job and I ended up going to work for a competitor of his that allowed me to work for half the time doing only the sales part of the job not any of the factory manufacturing distribution, employee management part of things that I was doing so I worked two weeks a month traveling around engaging customers doing sales and then the other two weeks. Basically I was off just waiting and planning my next two weeks of customer journey. So that was a very successful venture that allowed me to make enough money to put aside and then go to my next venture which after I got tired of the traveling, which started wearing on me. I had another friend who was in the restaurant business and he wanted to he was in the bar business and he wants to have a really nice upscale restaurant that he had designed in his mind. And he asked me if I wanted to become involved with him. Not because I knew anything about restaurants. Unlike a lot of doctors and lawyers who go out to eat and think they can be in the restaurant business. Nothing could be further from the truth. I don't I don't suggest people do that. Just because you eat out. You can't be in the restaurant business. And but I stayed in my lane. I knew what I liked doing. I liked the whole aspect of identifying maybe the location and the business aspects and dealing with the vendors. And dealing with the customers having absolutely nothing to do with the food and beverage part of the business. That was my partner. And it was a good it was a good marriage. It lasted 12 years we built the restaurant that in 1979 that I feel very, very proud about even though I exited in 1990 About 12 years later. That was it was a great success for me, both financially personally and any other kind of business was it

 

Sabine  12:24 

What kind of restaurant was it an upscale seafood

 

Paul 12:28 

steakhouse about 75 miles north of New York City and it is still open today. So we're talking 2144 years later for a restaurant to be in business 44 years is pretty impressive. And again, I was only in it for the first 12 of those years but I found that it and the menu and the concept that we developed still there in place today and I learned how to 10 bar and I learned how to cook then I learned how to wash dishes. And I did all those things because that's the way that I am about something. But that wasn't the job that I had with that business. I dealt with the people for the most part and the vendors. That's what I enjoyed doing. And you have to learn early on what hats you like to wear and what hat you don't like. Absolutely and when I sold that business, yeah, when I sold that business, that's when I went on and that's at a point shortly thereafter, is when I founded my software company because I kind of went back to my math roots to decide what I wanted to do in my next phase of life.

 

Sabine 13:26 

Talking about the next phase in your life. I see from our conversation, you you got the entrepreneurial bug so to speak, and we're always looking for new opportunities growing out of the one business and to an next business. With all of that said I kind of have the feeling you are you can can be I don't know if you are like a workaholic, you're really focusing on the business. But we also know life and business has to be imbalanced that your personal life and the business. Did you see or did you have an experience that your business life took over and you had challenges in your personal life, either health relationship or whatnot?

 

Paul 14:20 

Sabine it's a great question. Probably one better asked of my wife than me. You know, God bless her are married 30 years now. She's put up with an awful lot.

 

Sabine 14:31 

Congratulations.

 

Paul 14:32 

Thank you. Congratulate me and please give her all your sympathy. So she she's put up with a lot. And because I get passionate about something and then you know, I may may want to pivot and do something else and and I don't want your audience or you to think that this was a trajectory in my life. There was that took those 12 years that were very successful in the restaurant business. I relocated from New York to Florida because I wanted to play tennis more. And I wasn't working that much in the restaurant. My partner, it was functioning just fine without me really. And so my parents really look retired and moved to Florida. So I decided to follow them and not only to be near them as they were aging, but also because financially I was able to afford to to be where I wanted to be. And I wanted to be someplace I could play more tennis. So I moved to Florida, but then when I got there after several months, I said well what's all going to do when he grows up and had to figure out what I wanted to do in the most recent successful thing that I did was the restaurant business. So I opened up a restaurant in Florida, in Delray Beach, Florida. That was a beautiful restaurant kind of copying my restaurant in New York. But I wasn't very smart or wise about the market and the research and also the partnerships I developed in creating this restaurant. And so what I made in 12 years in New York I lost in one year in Florida. And it was a it was a situation that result in bankruptcy. And, again, I don't say that proudly or negatively. I say that because that was just the circumstance the way it was. And that's when I have to back fail. That's when I bounce back to my roots of the education and the mathematics and computers.

 

Sabine 16:13 

I let me let me interrupt you right there because I think this is a very important point for for my listeners to understand. And that goes back to the advice the other one of your bosses gave you to say, hey, go in your own business, you will get all the rewards, but you also have to carry all the risks. And believe me, I know what you went through because I did the same thing. I had a very successful performing art school, but then I ventured out into something that I was not really educated in, going into real estate and invested wrong time. Wrong area wrong everything basically. And I lost everything that I worked for those years. I know exactly. What you what you said. And I, too, had to go through bankruptcy. And I want our listeners to understand that. Yes, you take risks and you make mistakes. We all make mistakes. That's how we grow but I also truly believe if we don't take this as a oh my gosh, now I've failed. Oh my gosh, The World Ends no but take this as the stepping stone to our next greatest self. And I would like to know from you, Paul, when you went through there, first of all, number one, how did you feel about the whole situation? And what helped you because I'm sure losing everything that you made in 12 years is painful. How did you get through that? Time of Your Life to that pain and turn it around to make it a stepping stone for your success?

 

Paul 18:07 

So a great observation question, Sabine. And the answer for me was very simple. I had wonderful people around me people that supported me, and not just financially although that was an element that helped me go day to day until I find my next path. But family and friends that were there to support me who were as confident in me as I was in me that I was going to get through that phase of a financial setback, which is all it was, well, that's not true. It's also somewhat of an emotional one that I like use that invested in the wrong market at the wrong time. Even though my restaurant was very successful. We have great four star reviews right at the beginning, but it was a market in South Florida that I didn't understand that well. I had people around me, people around me that believed in me. I believed in me, I figured okay, this just didn't work out what's next. And I looked for different, different avenues to explore. You know, some things were presented to me some things I looked for, which is really where I am today and actually the last 30 years looking for different opportunities to go back to your original point and question about you know, the not and this as well, about the having the people around you so I had my wife she when she sees me these days, and over the last 20 years or so, as companies were approaching me to market and serve and support their products with trying to help them grow. I would I would look at it first and make sure it was something I could get passionate about. And that I would believe in so that I can really get behind it because that was absolutely number one important to me before I took on a job or invested in something. And so when I would typically be in my home office, which is where I am today talking to you and your audience, and I would call into the other room in the house and I deal to Maureen my wife, and I say Hey, honey, come here. Come take a look at this because I found something that was interesting to me. Well, invariably, she learned over the years not to come into my office and said she would go ahead and cut up my credit cards and hide the bank account. Because she said oh here we go again. Paul's going to invest in something crazy. But she's been very supportive over the years and this particular wall printing machine or vertical printing machine as it's called. When she saw this she kind of dug it to and again to your audience. One thing I didn't mention early on and as we become a conversation, he spent 15 seconds to 30 seconds on my company's website, the wall printer.com You'll learn everything there is to know about what I'm doing. And it was a machine that was just fascinating to me and she said, Okay, you can sell this and even though it was the same reaction you had Sabine never seen anything like it. I just figured if I could create business opportunities for people, and it solved the problem putting artwork on walls in a different way. And there was a market for it that I could articulate this to people and help them thrive in their business journeys by making a business out of this. Yeah, so so for that for that reason, you know, I look for things like that, that I can get passionate about. But ultimately, the whole journey it's because I've had just wonderful people in my network. And and that's really what I've done my whole life really is all of these jobs that I've had and all these businesses I've created or supported, had the role I've taken the hat I chose to wear because I think I was very good at it was those relationship building hats. I wasn't good and still I'm not good in the financial aspects. Still not very good in legal still not very not good. In managing hiring and firing. Although I've been blessed with a very good team. I've got 15 people working for me. Let's see,

 

Sabine  21:59 

that's what it's all about. You don't have to be a master in every aspect. But if you have a good team around you that can handle that. Hey, that's all you need. You are the creator. You are the one with the ideas.

 

Paul  22:17 

What makes a good leader. It's very simple. It's somebody who's smart enough to hire the best people to do a job but wise enough to back off and let them do it. I love it. I love it. And so people people who think that they can do everything, you know, maybe you can Okay, but that doesn't mean you should know business. I mean, I couldn't possibly support the customers. We have 120 customers today. I've got a team of three people that deals with the customer and technical support. Even though I know everything there is to know about the machines and how to service them. I can't be doing that and also having a conversation like this with you or a potential customer. I can't be doing the social media marketing and video production necessary to let people know what is a vertical printing machine or a fluid printing machine and create those ads in him deliver the message so to speak of what this business opportunity can offer. And so people are doing that that are better qualified than I am and I just back off and let them do it right and hopefully try to keep it all together.

 

Sabine 23:20 

So that was a very insightful conversation. If you could leave our listeners with like one or two tips or pieces of advice that would help them get through a, you know, challenging situation. What would you tell them?

 

Paul  23:46 

Don't look within yourself and look to your network. Look, you know, just seek counsel. And what I mean by that. I don't mean necessarily psychological counseling. I mean, seek counsel from people you trust. For whose opinions your value, you know, tell them what your situation is, be honest. And tell them either what you think you'd like to do or why something may have not gone the way you wanted it to or what you're looking for. And and then just you know, leverage the network you have yours whether you think you have a network or not. You do there's got to be somebody out there with a family or friends or colleagues current former that understand you maybe better than you understand you and so take for granted the fact that somebody else is happy to offer that you know, there's the same be Be nice to the people you see on the way up because they're the same people you're going to see on the way down.

 

Sabine 24:48 

I like that. Thank you Paul for sharing your story tips and wisdom with our listeners today.

 

Paul 24:55 

Thank you for being I appreciate the opportunity to talk to you and your audience.

 

Sabine  24:58 

That was my interview. And if you enjoyed it, give us a five star review. Leave a comment and share it with your friends. Thanks for listening until I see you again. Always remember. So from the heart. Follow your passion to live the life you imagine.

After being abused by her drug-addicted mother, she was adopted at the age of 4. Victoria has been driven to show the world that no matter your circumstances, you can create a successful and happy life. Today she is a wife, mom, and Corporate Executive who received many awards. Victoria’s message is that we CAN have it all as long as we live a life of NoExcuses.

 

Shownotes: 

Victoria Pelletier was a determined 11-year-old who wanted to be better than what she had. Even though she had to deal with a lot of trouble and trauma as a child, she was determined to do well and worked her way to the top, becoming COO at 24, President at 35, and CEO at 41. She learned to pick herself up and keep going, and her drive helped her achieve many things. Victoria now serves on many boards, coaches and mentors female entrepreneurs, and speaks on leadership, culture, diversity, and inclusion, all to make the world a safer, more welcoming place. In her book, "Unstoppable," she talks about her motto and life philosophy, which she hopes will inspire other people to be brave and take charge of their lives.

 

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. How Victoria Pelletier achieved success in business despite extreme adversity and trauma in her childhood.

2. How she developed resilience and overcame challenges to become an unstoppable force.

3. How she encourages others to take control of their career and build a strong personal brand.

 

Connect with Victoria Pelletier: 

Victoria Pelletier Website

Victoria Pelletier on Linkedin

Victoria Pelletier on Instagram

Want to hear more of Victoria Pelletier’s story? Grab your copy of the Unstoppable book here.

 

 

Connect with Sabine Kvenberg: 

Free Resources: https://www.sabinekvenberg.com/resources 

Sabine Kvenberg on Facebook

Sabine Kvenberg on Instagram

Sabine Kvenberg on Linkedin

Sabine Kvenberg on YouTube

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TRANSCRIPT

 

00:00:00 Sabine: Hello, my name is Sabine Kvenberg, founder and host of BECOME. The content will inspire you to reach your aspirations and become the best version of yourself. I feature interviews with successful individuals from various industries, delving into their personal and professional journeys and their strategies to achieve their goals. We have to become the person we are meant to be first, so we can live the life we are destined to live. That means we must overcome challenges and to work through difficult times to learn, grow, and become the new, more fabulous version of ourselves. I'm so glad that you're here. Let's get on this journey together. 

 

00:00:54 Sabine: My guest today, Victoria Pelletier, has an unstoppable spirit. She is a prolific speaker, whose personal story carries so much strength. After being abused by her drug addicted mother, she was adopted at the age of four. Victoria has been driven to show the world that no matter your circumstances, you can create a successful and happy life. Today, she is a wife, mom, and corporate executive who received many awards. Victoria's message is that “We CAN have it all, as long as we live a life of NoExcuses.” Welcome, Victoria, I'm so happy to have you as my guest today.

 

00:01:42 Victoria: Thanks, Sabine. I'm happy to be here. 

 

00:01:44 Sabine: And I must say, reading your bio, it seems like you must be already ready for retirement. But I see you're here in front of me and you're this beautiful young woman, have accomplished so many things. But I'm sure that you also had to go through some of challenging situations. But before we go into your unstoppable mentality and vigorous character, why don't you give us just a quick background of who you are? What you have done? 

 

00:02:25 Victoria: Sure, happy to. So I am, as you said, a long time in business, which is why you expected to see more gray hair here. I do cover them, mind you. I had been working since I was 11. And by 14, I was already in my first leadership role and promoted up through the ranks. What's really interesting is I expected to be a lawyer. That's what I was studying and was about to transfer to law school when I had the opportunity to take a promotion from the bank that I was working at, at the time. And when I decided I was never after that work for a number of years, I was like, “I guess I'm not going back to law school or going to law school, nor moving back to my hometown.” And continue the progression from there and became a COO at just age 24, president by 35, CEO at 41. 

 

00:03:16 Victoria: And where it comes from quite honestly, use the phrase and title of my book, Unstoppable. It is my mantra and my life's philosophy. And I often talk about diversity, equity, inclusion, and understanding people's why. And that's their lived experience, what gets them to where they are today. And your listeners are probably wondering, and as do many of the people that I speak to, where did the drive? Where did this all come from? How did it come into being? And it's because I overcame extreme adversity in my youth, abused by the teenage drug addicted mother, who gave birth to me, for a number of years. I was fortunate to be adopted. And a series of other unfortunate events that occurred from there through my childhood. And I believe that you have a choice in terms of how you react and respond to things and pick up and how do you move forward. So it is those early years that really pushed me to be better than either the biology that I was born into or the circumstances, which I had otherwise experienced too, to get to where I am today. 

 

00:04:17 Sabine: So at what age were you adopted? 

 

00:04:21 Victoria: At four.

 

00:04:22 Sabine: Okay, okay. So, obviously, the first few years are very, very pregnant for us as human beings, but we get there and a lot of the stuff lives in our unconscious mind even up into adulthood. So when you said you had some of abuse and challenges in your childhood, can you remember what that was? 

 

00:04:49 Victoria: I can and it's unusual because a lot of children don't remember things before the age of six or seven perhaps. And for me, I can very much remember being two and three years old, and abused by my biological mother, whether that was pushed up and down stairs. I had teeth that had been impacted as a result of that, even my baby teeth. Even to this day, one of my eye droops a little bit lower than the other because I had a cigarette in my eye and I wore a patch for months. 

 

00:05:20 Sabine: Oh, my goodness. 

 

00:05:21 Victoria: So I remembered a lot of it. Those were, ended up being quite formative, even though we would say it's a little bit later in children's lives just because of the trauma that I dealt with.

 

00:05:31 Sabine: Wow, wow. That is something. I've never heard of this, that you remember. But obviously, it was very traumatic. During your years of being adopted, how was that for you as a child? Did you really see them as your parents? Or were they just basically taking care of you? What was that bond that you had with your adopted parents?

 

00:06:03 Victoria: I very much saw them as my parents. And that's grown into how I view it today. You parents are those that raise you, quite frankly. And so they are my parents. And so I viewed them that way. But what I will say is the trauma and feeling, like I internalized a lot of the abuse I received at the hands of my biological mother as something I did wrong, and then ultimately to be removed. And/or she agreed to give me to my adoptive parents so that they knew one another. But still, I felt a sense of rejection and insecurity always. So even though I believed my parents were my parents, and my mum, especially I had a much closer bond to her than I did to my dad. I was still pushing away. I remember my mom saying to me many times, like “Tori, you need to stop. We are not giving you away.” Because I would push and I would challenge out of fear, quite honestly. Like if I can push you away before you do me, maybe it's a less hurt, is what I viewed it. So it took a lot of years to get comfortable in that setting.

 

00:07:09 Sabine: Yeah, I mean, this is one of those coping mechanism that we have as human beings. And I know what you're talking about. And fortunately, I was not abused, but I lost my birth father when I was just three years old. And I didn't remember much. But in my adulthood, way later in my adulthood, I had really fear of rejections, fear of being left alone, and I didn't know where this come from. I had separation anxieties, when I was in my adulthood, until I really worked through it. And it came about, that it was from those childhood experiences. And I totally get it, we have to work through it. Now, obviously, what was it in your upbringing? Was your foster parents or was your adopted parents that led you to who you are today, that unstoppable personality that you have, really wanting to succeed? Where are they going? Were they acting as role models for you? Did they give you some push? Was this something evolved other than yourself?

 

00:08:31 Victoria: I think, I wouldn't say it was, role models for my parents. My mum, at one point said, “You have to do better than us.” She actually meant socioeconomically and vocationally because my dad was a school janitor. And my mom was a secretary. She had wishes of being an artist or whatnot. And her own father pushed her down a very different path. And so they encouraged me to do more and better in their eyes. Sabine, I think hearing that from my parents, it was nice and helpful. But the reality is, I became so driven. The early years for me were outside of my control. And so for me, my schoolwork and then my paid work were all things that I could control, my work ethic, how hard I worked, how much learnings and credentials I received to be better and better from a work perspective. And so it was that drive that I think really propelled me, not because I had role models. I just was determined I was going to be better than biology or circumstance. 

 

00:09:34 Victoria: And then the other thing is, I had a number of things happen to me throughout childhood. So the height I am now, we can't tell through this, for the subtle screen. I mean, I was five foot eight by the time I was 11. Maybe I remember being taller than my teachers. I was gifted academically in a time where the kids made fun of it whereas I feel like in today's society, in generation, they admire that. So there were just lots of challenges to a teenage rape for me as well. So it was all of these things that just came in to me. And I think at some point, you have a choice to pick up and move on or wallow in that. And I worry about what that would look like. So long way of saying, I think my mum helped and pushed me, but I was running towards something, always. 

 

00:10:25 Sabine: It is definitely something that, if you get this recognition, if you are the best that you can be, then you feel good about yourself and knowing that you're worth something versus how you grew up and how you were treated like you were worth nothing. I think that  could have been a coping mechanism. So you mentioned you had to go through a teenage rape.

 

00:10:57 Victoria: Yeah, it was hard, me raped when I was 14 by, I'll say a man because technically, he was an adult. He was 18. I skipped a couple of grades in school, so I was younger in high school. And this was a high school senior that I had just started dating, had been introduced me from another friend. And sadly, that didn't end very well for me. And I always look back at that. And I'm a big believer in now around developing a healthy level of resilience. And I very much didn't have that, as I said, picking yourself up and moving forward. But a lot of times, I think I just compartmentalize the feelings, emotions, and really didn't process whatever has happened. And so for me, now I can look back on that, and no rape victim should ever be blamed. 

 

00:11:46 Victoria: So I'm going to say that as I make this next statement. I think I often put myself in a bad situation, when I was younger, to be liked, to be loved, to be accepted. And so some of the ways in which I did that could be considered some riskier behavior and has put myself not in the best situation. And so this was one of those. Again, there's no victim shaming or blaming for this. But at the same time, it's part of what caused me to remember with my mum, who was aware, and we talked through it, like how did this come to be. And I'd, just a couple years before, been hanging out with much older boys. And I think all of that was, again, as I said, just an attempt to feel good and liked and loved and accepted. 

 

00:12:30 Sabine: I'll thank you so much for sharing this because there was so much wisdom with what you just said, that we do things in our lives, risky things in our lives, that led us to an undesirable experience. But at the same time, we were just trying to do our best, to trying to fit in, trying to be loved because that's our human nature. We want to be loved. We want to fit in. And sometimes, it ends up in a not so good situation. But the most important part, what you also shared is that, “Hey, we have to work through it. And we should not be feeling shamed or blamed, any of the situation.” So I really appreciated that you share that part of it because sometimes, it's being overlooked. It's just like, “Oh, my God, how sad it was.” But we also have to see the whole of a picture. And I believe every situation will make us stronger and leads us to our life's path, where we are now. So bringing us to where you are now, tell us what engages you? What are you passionate about? What drives you today? 

 

00:14:01 Victoria: So there are a number of things. And what's funny is I put in my email signature line that I made multipotentialite. And that being that I had a ton of different interests and passions that get me motivated and bring me joy. I will say I do enjoy working. My husband jokes that I'm never going to retire. I enjoy the challenge of leading large scale businesses and the complexity of those. After I left the bank and got recruited at 24 to be a COO, my journey from there has been almost exclusively in the business to business, professional services space. And that in itself is complex because you're dealing with corporate clients who pay a bill and either their customers or employees to provide some kind of a service. And so that's, still excites me, the work that I do.

 

00:14:48 Victoria: But it shifted to getting joy from many, many other things. And so for me, I sit on a multitude of boards or I have over the last many years, a number of which were not the profits, but they align very much with the things that matter to me. One was a national vocational services organization. So you know, new immigrants to the country, that's when I was living in Canada. So new immigrants to Canada or those that were underemployed and helping them find employment. The other one was being a part of Canada's largest child welfare agency. They're fundraising arm, the Children's Aid Foundation. Being the children from the system, I wanted a way to give back. And then I also do that on for profit boards on things that I care about or I think are great opportunities. And I coach and mentor female entrepreneurs. And I have been staunchly committed to a much more diverse and inclusive world, not just the workplaces that I work in, but the communities I live in and in creating safe spaces for people to belong. And so I do a lot of talks. I'm a public speaker, as well. And I talk on a number of those things, leadership, culture, diversity, inclusion, being just some of them.

 

00:15:57 Sabine: I love it. That's what makes a difference. Each individual person can make a difference by the way they show up. And you show up in so many different ways. If you had a magic wand and you could wish anything to change in this world or in your own life, what would that be? 

 

00:16:21 Victoria: Hmm. I've always said that when I talk about my children. So I have two children, who are both technically adults now, because my younger one is 18, that my job was to raise two really good humans. And so first and foremost, I work hard. I spent 220 days traveling on the road one year when my children were quite young. And as much as I love that, I love being a mother. What I would change however, is my younger one. If I could bring some of that fairy dust over, my younger one is bipolar and has lots of mental health challenges. And I wish a better life for Jordan, my youngest, and then I could just flick a switch. One of my nicknames in businesses, the turnaround queen, because I fix things. And this is one of those things that I can't fix. So I wish that genie in a bottle to come in and sprinkle some of that dust on my youngest.

 

00:17:24 Sabine: Oh, that is beautiful. That really shows how much you care. And sometimes dealing with family members, knowing they could be better if ABC would happen, right? But at the end, I believe we all are dealing our own fate. And sometimes, as an outside person or somebody very close, like you as a mother, we might see this as an unfortunate circumstance. But then you never know what comes out of it and why this happens. Maybe this is exactly what she needs to go through right now to later on maybe talk about it, maybe help some other person go through it because she went through it. So I always try to see if I can find the  silver lining to everything. And sometimes, it also means we have to let go of the attachment of that person, right? 

 

00:18:37 Victoria: Yeah. 

 

00:18:37 Sabine: Yeah, yeah. 

 

00:18:39 Victoria: Yeah, it's tough. 

 

00:18:44 Sabine: Just sprinkle some light, to send some light in this direction because everything is energy. And so for whatever it's worth, I hope that she is getting through there with ease and fast. So, right now, you are also a contributor to a book that was called Unstoppable. What was your contribution to that book? 

 

00:19:12 Victoria: Yeah, so there were a number of authors who each wrote a chapter for the book. And the funny thing is it was a friend of mine, who had worked with his publisher before, and she got me connected. And when I found out the subject of the book was Unstoppable, about changemakers, who dare to make a difference, that's the full title of the book. I was like, “That is me through and through.” So I was really excited to become part of it. And actually, the publishers decided to make me the first chapter in the book, which felt great. And it was nice to be alongside other Unstoppable individuals, those who have moved and/or made great changes in their or other's lives. 

 

00:19:54 Sabine: Yeah, that is fantastic. Congratulations. What was the topic that you were talking about?

 

00:20:00 Victoria: I shared my story. The chapter is called ‘Courage To Live.’ And so I shared some of what I share with you here today in the listening audience and some of the things and advice I would give others around their own courage to live or to be unstoppable. 

 

00:20:15 Sabine: Oh, wow. I encourage everybody to get that book. And where can they get that book? Can you share your site with our listeners?

 

00:20:28 Victoria: For sure, and thanks for asking. I have a personal website, which is victoria-pelletier.com. And there, you'll find that, not only the book, but for those who are interested in a public speaker, you'll find samples of me speaking there. And otherwise, I publish regular articles and content, both on my blog and for other news outlets. 

 

00:20:50 Sabine: Wonderful. And I'll make sure that I put this information into the show notes. If there is one piece of advice you would like to leave our listeners with, what would that be? 

 

00:21:07 Victoria: I'm a big believer in this notion of control. And therefore, I talk and coach a lot of people about, “You're the CEO, a brand you.” And so taking complete charge of that, whether it's around building a strong personal brand, which I think is critically important for. Even if you're straight out of post secondary, I think it's important to start building a brand there and that tells people who you are, what's your unique value proposition to the world and into business specifically. So you need to control the narrative around that and how you show up. But it also means, when I say CEO of you, that you don't put your career in someone else's hands. You take charge in terms of maintaining your skills and making sure you're relevant for where the market and the world is moving, and not just assuming that your good performance is going to move you to the next level. So really being in charge. And I have the saying, “You don't ask, you don't get.” My children know that well now, but I think that's important. And I'd encourage your listeners to do that for themselves.

 

00:22:11 Sabine: I love it. You don't ask, you don't get. Yes, I always say, “Ask and you shall  receive.” And that's the truth. I always, always have done that in my life. And I can second that, that this does work. Thank you so much, Victoria, for being here with my listeners sharing your story and your wisdom. So thank you so much. 

 

00:22:38 Victoria: Thank you. 

 

00:22:41 Sabine: That was my interview. And if you enjoyed it, give us a five star review. Leave a comment and share it with your friends. Thanks for listening. Until I see you again. Always remember, so from the heart, follow your passion and live the life you imagine.