BECOME Empowered

In this episode, Brenden Kumarasamy described how his desire to prove his father wrong led him to become an extraordinary speaker and communication coach, only to realize that his father's influence was the greatest gift all along. He shares his story growing up in a family with his alcoholic father, whom he stopped talking to at age 15, and how he overcame bullying because of his physical disability. During our conversation, he revealed a few of his secrets that not only helped him to become a skillful speaker but is also helping his clients to become better communicators.

Shownotes: 

At the age of twelve, Brenden Kumarasamy discovered the exciting world of competitive presentations, and his career path was set. Teaching people how to articulate their thoughts allowed him to hone his own communication skills. Brenden's life was fraught with difficulties—from his family's dysfunction to the paralysis of his left arm—but he channeled these difficulties into determination to become a world-class communicator. Brenden was able to mend and leverage his talent hence, MasterTalk, a coaching program for ambitious executives and entrepreneurs to become one of the top 1% of communicators in their industry. He also has a popular YouTube channel, MasterTalk, to provide free communication tools for everyone worldwide.

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. What were some of the challenges Brenden had as a kid, and how did he overcome them?

2. What is the correlation between talking about your goals and achieving them more quickly?

3. Highlighting the significance of utilizing technological advantages.

Connect with Brenden Kumarasamy:

Brenden Kumarasamy on Linkedin

Brenden Kumarasamy on Instagram

MasterTalk

MasterTalk on YouTube

Rockstar Communication

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Free Resources: https://www.sabinekvenberg.com/resources 

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BECOME Podpage

➤Are you looking for the finest online course platform to swiftly build and sell courses? Why not try Kajabi? All the tools of Kajabi make it easier for you to create online courses, podcasts, coaching, memberships, and more! Try the 30-day free trial and make the most out of it. And if you're just getting started and want to put your offer up for sale in three days or less, follow this link and apply to "MAKING IT HAPPEN."

Description: 

In this episode, Susan shares her unique perspective on life challenges and how they can be occasions for transformation. Drawing from her own experiences, she provides insights and tools that can help others all over the globe to find peace in the face of adversity.

Shownotes: 

When Susan took a chance and moved away from her hometown, she found that being grateful helped her heal from trauma. She became a successful producer and TV executive, but her marriage was hard and violent. Susan took charge of her life and rewrote her past by meditating, being patient, and looking at herself. She had a tough childhood and has utilized what she learned to help other people learn, grow, and become the best versions of themselves.

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. What was Susan's toxic relationship was like, and how did she recover from it?

2. How did her chosen path become the most fulfilling and developmental experience of her life?

3. How gratitude helped her to see her prior events in a more positive light.

Connect with Susan Gold: 

Susan Gold Website

Connect with Sabine Skvenberg: 

https://www.instagram.com/sabinekvenberg/

Sabine on Facebook

Sabine on Linkedin

Sabine on YouTube

BECOME Podpage

➤Are you looking for the finest online course platform to swiftly build and sell courses? Why not try Kajabi? All the tools of Kajabi make it easier for you to create online courses, podcasts, coaching, memberships, and more! Try the 30-day free trial and make the most out of it. And if you're just getting started and want to put your offer up for sale in three days or less, follow this link and apply to "MAKING IT HAPPEN."

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Sabine: Hello, my name is Sabine Skvenberg, founder and host of BECOME. The content will inspire you to reach your aspirations and become the best version of yourself. I feature interviews with successful individuals from various industries, delving into their personal and professional journeys and their strategies to achieve their goals. We have to become the person we are meant to be first so we can live the life we are destined to live. That means we must overcome challenges and work through difficult times to learn, grow, and become the new, more fabulous version of ourselves. I'm so glad that you're here. Let's get on this journey together. 

00:00:54 Sabine: My guest today is the magical Susan Gold. Susan has navigated a ferociously challenging upbringing, facing ingrained, outdated, and patriarchal programming head on. As an adult, she has bravely moved forward to transform her traumatic experiences into opportunities for growth and personal transformation. In this episode, Susan shares her unique perspective on life changes and how they can be occasions for transformation. Drawing from her own experiences, she provides insights and tools that can help others all over the globe to find peace in the face of adversity. Through her work, Susan is on a mission to help people transform their lives and rise above the pain and trauma of their past. Join us as we delve into Susan's journey and discover how we too can learn to transform our traumatic experiences into opportunities for growth and personal transformation.

00:02:07 Sabine: Welcome, Susan. Where are you chiming in from and how are you today?

00:02:14 Susan: Sabine, thank you so much for having me. I am in the beautiful mountains of Montana, and I could almost walk to Canada. It's 4 miles to the border.

00:02:25 Sabine: Oh, wow. So it's probably pretty cold there right now, right?

00:02:30 Susan: Yeah, it's in the 30s. We've had a few patches of really frigid weather, but it's been pretty mild.

00:02:39 Sabine: When you say it's in the 30s, for me, it's freezing cold. As you know, I live in Florida, as you can see, our closing gives away where we live. Well, that's great. I really can't wait to dive into your story. I find it interesting that some people are defined by their story and their upbringing. And staying in these circumstances while others break and transform. And I have the feeling you fall into the second category. But before we go into the story, I read one of the quotes on your website and says, "Living the path of truth and authenticity is not for the weak hearted. It's one of ultimate freedom." What do you mean by that?

00:03:37 Susan: Well, for me, the easier, softer weight Sabine would be to hide under the covers. I would have never left my little hometown at 17 the morning after I graduated from high school. But I knew in my heart there was more and that I had to stand up and take that risk. And that's been a theme throughout my life. Not the easier, softer way, but definitely the most rewarding and the most evolutionary for my soul.

00:04:11 Sabine: I cannot agree more, because, quite frankly, through adversity and going, the more difficult path is when we grow. That's where the most growth happens. And you had quite a career in New York and LA. You were known for matching celebrities to brands. You were a TV and film producer. So tell us more about your first career.

00:04:40 Susan: Wow. Well, growing up in my family home, I used to watch Barbara Walters on my belly, on my beanbag in the basement. I was so chawned by this woman and wanted to be just like her. And I ended up going to New York City. That's the place that I really wanted to go. And I ended up being Barbara's exercise trainer. And one morning I knocked on her door at 07:00 AM and she knew immediately something had happened, something was wrong. And I didn't want to share that personal information with her. But she was an incredible interviewer, and she got it out of me. I was harassed in the workplace, and she volunteered to come to work that morning and confront my boss with me.

00:05:21 Sabine: Wow.

00:05:21 Susan: And I said, yeah, no problem. That's okay. I'm going to handle it. And I did confront that boss who promptly fired me. And rather than go back into another assistantship, I decided to launch my own town brokerage firm in New York City. I was 25, and I had not much money in the bank. I had gotten out of an abusive relationship. The gentleman held the purse strings, so to  speak, and I was under that illusion. But I decided to step up and take the risk. So I did. And my first deal was to knock on the factory door and convince Andy Warhol, the modern art master, to do a commercial for Pontiac.

00:06:08 Sabine: Oh, wow. That's amazing. But it's also interesting that you said that. Now, Barbara Walters recently passed away, and she was truly an amazing woman who got a lot out of the interview partners that she had and that you had that experience with her and she was able to help you. That is a beautiful memory I'm sure that you will treasure forever, and that also helped you move forward to your next career, so to speak, right?

00:06:45 Susan: Yes. She was really supportive of women, amazingly supportive of women.

00:06:50 Sabine: So how long did you stay in New York?

00:06:53 Susan: I was there about a decade, and I was very successful matching celebrities to brands, and that actually led me into television. Roger Ailes was running CNBC at the time, and he had his own talk network called America's Talking. And somehow they reached out to me and asked could I bring celebrities to his America's Talking Network? So I said, "Oh, sure. No problem." And of course, they weren't flocking. So one night, I grabbed the cameraman and we went to some charity red carpet event, and I stuck the mic in the celebrity spaces, interviewed them about the event and then had them look direct to the camera and say, I'm so and so. You're watching America's Talking, and it became this phenomenon, and we had all these celebrities running on the network, and it looked like an endorsement of America's Talking. So that caught Roger's attention, and he invited me to produce any show I wanted on the network and then invited me to help launch Fox News Channel.

00:08:00 Sabine: Oh, wow. That is quite a story. So what made you leave New York and move to LA?

0:08:11 Susan: So, opportunity, for one. But I really felt, Sabine, that I was becoming a caricature of myself. I had trouble really finding connection. I had a little cabin up in the catskills, and I would go Friday night and I wouldn't return to the city until Monday morning. And I just was living to get into nature, and my routine was very rigid. I had to go to the gym, I had to do certain things, and I was finding it harder to socialize. I couldn't make plans and keep them. So I just felt like my time was ticking down. And I got a phone call from a very dear friend who had gone out to LA to run a talk show, and she said, "I want you to come out here. I need you to bring celebrities to the table for the talk show." And I said yes immediately. And then I panicked.

00:09:11 Sabine: So why did you panic?

00:09:15 Susan: It was a huge shift. I mean, I had to envision myself in New York City since I was young. I mean, I was probably ten years old, and I knew I wanted to be there, and I felt comfortable there. I knew how to push the buttons, I knew the players, I had fairly good income, I had clients, and here I was going to new territory. But I also knew that I wasn't intuitively going to stay in New York City my entire life. And I felt like opportunity comes for a specific reason, and if you're strong enough, just take it. So I thought I was going to LA for my career, which did blossom, but really, I think I went to LA to meet one of my biggest gurus, who is my ex-husband.

00:10:01 Sabine: All right , that is an interesting combination. Your biggest guru, now ex husband. So tell us more about what that quote unquote, "guru" relationship was. What did it give you?

00:10:18 Susan: Well, I was since the second grade, and Billy Fritz attached at the hip to any kind of male attention. And friends used to say, you know, when I'm in adulthood, I'm so powerful, you're so powerful, you're so accomplished. But I never really felt that I always had to be in some kind of relationship or I just felt like I was going to be annihilated. I mean, it was so strong, and that was costing heavily, but I didn't quite realize it as I was going through it. And I met my ex-husband and thought I met the man of my dreams. I mean, he said the right things, he had the right look, he had the right career, all the material things, right? But I also felt like we connected as individuals, and we did. It just wasn't the connection that I was hoping for. Because ultimately what I discovered was he did seem like he was right out of the movies because he had a false construct and persona. And when the mask fell, it was incredibly painful.

00:11:37 Sabine: Wow. When the mask fell.

00:11:43 Sabine: Let me hop in here real quick to share something with you. Have you ever tried to build your own website, start a newsletter or build a course and charge for it? Have you ever wanted to make money online but are totally confused by all the different systems you need to have? That's why I use Kajabi. Kajabi is the most popular system for online marketers, coaches, top leaders and influencers. Kajabi helps online entrepreneurs take off. Over hundred thousands of us use Kajabi and have made over $4 billion. Why not be part of it? The best thing is you don't have to figure out tons of systems or crazy technology to start your online business. Kajabi helps you do all of that and it's all on one platform. That's why I use it. It makes my life so much easier and I can even earn money while I'm sleeping. You can build your web pages, blogs and membership sites. You can create offers, check out pages and collect money. You can host your videos. You can start your newsletter list, capture emails, start your marketing funnels all in one place. It makes it fun and easy with awesome tutorials and support. Since I've joined Kajabi from the beginning, I have a special affiliate link that I would like to share with you. A 30-day free trial. So nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Just go to my link that's in the show notes sabinekavenberg.com/resources, and we will redirect you to the free trial page. And if you are just starting out and want to get your offer out for sale in just three days, let me help you do that. Visit my web page, by the way, that I build on Kajabi and apply to "MAKING IT HAPPEN." So now let's get back to the show.

00:13:55 Sabine: I think a lot of people can relate to that, that sometimes we are blinded by an outer appearance and by quote unquote "acting." Someone acts a certain way, but then when we get to know them and we get under the cover so to speak, and reveal the core, then we see other things, and it can be even painful, physically or mentally. So I hear you. Wow. But good for you that you made that transition out of that relationship so that you felt better after all, I suppose, right?

00:14:39 Susan: Well, it was the journey to begin. I did not want my family to break up. At that time, I had a son. We had a son together. I had purchased a home for our family, just like a coveted jewel in Southern California. I didn't want my lifestyle to change, and I didn't want to be abandoned by my husband. So I did everything I could to keep our marriage together. And finally he just crossed his arms and his eyes went into those cold slits, and he said, "I'm hiring an attorney and I'm filing for divorce." And that was the universe doing for me what I could not do for myself because I was going to hang on to the nail and I was going to make this work. I didn't want a broken home for my son, but I felt the toll that it was taking on everyone, and we all had to step up and face it, and it was difficult. 

00:15:43 Susan: My ex husband did not leave our family home. He remained in the master bedroom, and I was in a partial conversion in the garage, on a mattress, on the floor, in a home that I purchased and maintained for our family. And that is the metaphor for the relationship and what I was allowing myself to carry and the demonstration that I was allowing for my son. So I really had to face it. And it took that kind of billboard falling on my head for me to wake up to the circumstance.

00:16:25 Sabine: Yeah. It's so beautiful how you said that the universe is giving us the clues. The universe is giving us the two by fours right onto our heads to wake up, to realize, look, holding onto that comfort, not even if it's comfort, but that comfort zone, that zone that we know because we are afraid and fear stepping in because we don't know what's on the other side. And for so many people, it's holding them back. But how did you get over that whole thing? When did you realize? Because what I sense here is that you really had to get through that stage where you just had to be still, to transform, to finally get those wings like the butterfly like the symbol of my podcast. 

00:17:26 Susan: Which is so beautiful, Sabine, and I just want to compliment you for getting this messaging out and the theme of your podcast because it has great meaning for so many of us, especially in these times today. So thank you from the bottom of my heart, I want to say that that lesson probably was one of the biggest of lifetimes, and standing up to it felt absolutely monumental. And it took every tool I had in my kit to go through that experience. I was an endurance athlete. I needed that type of training that I had to get through this. I was a longtime meditator. I learned how to sit in silence for hours at a time and not make eye contact, and that's what I needed to do to get through this. When you divorce someone you think may be a narcissist, there can be no contact. They just loop you back in. They know how to push the buttons, and it's very deceiving. And I had to be stealing to get through this and keep no contact within our home with the man I had loved and cherished. 

00:18:51 Susan: And that's what I held for a year until the agreement was reached. I wrote him his six figure check and he left and went right on to the next candidate, because that's typical. That's the behavior. And the more I wanted to make him accountable, the more I wanted him to stand up, the more that would backfire right on me. I just had to use that as a lesson to who he really was and what I was allowing. And it was a powerful lesson, and one, I am grateful.

00:19:32 Sabine: That says a lot that you said, I am so grateful for this lesson. A lot of people are bitter or become bitter and just shut off and don't see this as a jumping board to their next greater adventures or turning into their next best self. And so I like what you said, being grateful for this lesson. And if anybody can learn something, be grateful for what you have right now. Be grateful to have the air in your lungs, right? And with gratitude, that helps us take our focus away from the things that hurt, because our mind can only focus on one thing at a time, our conscious mind. And if we finding ourselves in a dire situation or feel pity for ourselves, shift to gratitude. Be grateful for what you have right now and be grateful for the things, the beautiful, wonderful things to come. So thanks for sharing that and sharing your lesson. 

00:120:45 Sabine: Now, you wrote a book, or let me put it this way, yes, you wrote a book, but it's not yet released. It will be released on March 21st. And I'm so excited to share this news with my listeners because I can only imagine how beautiful this book is going to be. The title of the book is Toxic Family: Transforming Childhood Trauma into Adult Freedom. Can you tell us a little bit more about your book?

00:21:20 Susan: Sure, I'm happy to. It was a long process. I think I was told in 2007 for the first time by an Irish seer that I had a book to write, and I heard it repeatedly, but I didn't want to take the time or the theme that it takes, the self examination, certainly in memoir. But finally it became obvious that it was time, and it was an incredible exercise to sit down and string it all together and see with clarity how each piece has specific meaning for the evolution of who I am becoming here as a human being on the Earth. And even though I had been told that I had a powerful story, I didn't really believe it. I thought it was sort of milk toast, like McDonald's, Grade A. Everybody's got the same story. But now that it's down on paper, I see that's not true and that I do have a lot to share. And I hope that people can take from my experience and garner their own power and more importantly, their own self love.

00:22:33 Sabine: Oh, that is beautiful. And what you said is so true. We always think my story doesn't count. Who am I to share my message? But I say, who are you not? And everybody has a unique story. That's what I help my clients with. I have a program called the Celebrity Signature Message, and I help my clients to really discover that we all are celebrities. You know, we don't have to be in front of a TV camera to be a celebrity. We all have that celebrity status, meaning the uniqueness, the very important person that you are for another person. So I like what you said that. Now saying or seeing the title of your book was that are you exposing any of your family members or any traumatic experience that you have doing this publicly? I mean, I know if you talk to a psychiatrist or whatnot. It's a different story. But you literally shouting it out to the world through your book.

00:23:53 Susan: So here's how I feel about it, Sabine, and I've had that question come my way quite a bit. I feel like we need to be brave. We need to stand up and we need to talk about our truth. And it's not so shameful. So many people have had similar experiences, but we keep it all tucked in, especially in the corporate system that's just broken. So I have to say, I've been a bit of a trailblazer not knowing it. And I want to say that I love my family. I have deep respect for the roles my parents played. They have helped me so much. And when people read the book, they're going to wonder about that statement that I just made. How can you make that statement after what you've experienced? But I see it now with tremendous love for all of the players and all of the experience, just like I see my ex- husband as a loving guru. 

00:25:03 Susan: These lessons, if I'm willing to look at the underbelly and really explore that mossy, dirty, stale energy under there, if I can just air it out and view it from the perspective of heaven rather than 3D Earth. There's so many gifts and so much opportunity. So I really am appreciative of my family. And I know we shared a little bit before we started our conversation. Toxic Family was not my initial title. My initial title was Magical Illumination, because that's what it's been for me. It's been such a gift to really thread this through. But honestly, we have a Toxic Family and toxic lineage. It was hurt and abused children, raising hurt and abused children and the truth needs to come out.

00:26:09 Sabine: I cannot agree more and I applaud you for doing this. As you said, many people are too afraid to talk about it and a lot of things are being pushed under the rug. And if we keep doing it, we cannot heal, cannot change. But if we put it out into the open, then other people feel an invitation of hey, I can do this, too. I can say it out loud, let the world know what's going on. Only when we are aware of our circumstances and what's going on can we change. If we are not aware, we're just going to stay in that old pattern that we so need to break. Now, if someone would like to get in touch with you, maybe they need some counseling. How can they do that?

00:27:13 Susan: Well, thanks for asking. I invite anybody to go to susangold.us. That's susangold.us and get on my email list. And you can also send me an email if you like, directly at [email protected]. And I would love to offer anyone that would like a 15-minute free conversation with me to see how we might be able to help each other.

00:27:44 Sabine: That is so gracious of you. Thank you so much, Susan. You are such a beautiful soul and I see this book going out  into this world, changing so many lives, touching so many lives. Thank you for this beautiful conversation and the advice that you shared with us today.

00:28:06 Susan: Thank you, Sabine.

00:28:09 Sabine: That was my interview and if you enjoyed it, give us a five star review, leave a comment and share it with your friends. Thanks for listening until I see you again. Always remember, serve from the heart, follow your passion and live the life you imagine.

Celebrity pro athlete Wally Green shows us that no matter where you've been and how you started, you have the choice and power to change anything in your life. He endured mental and physical abuse and almost took his parents' lives when he felt a strong presence of divine intervention, ultimately leading him to become a celebrity pro athlete and inspirational speaker.

Shownotes: 

After experiencing a lifetime of abuse, Wally Green is driven to the brink of pulling the trigger on his abusive stepfather and mother, only to be saved from himself by divine intervention and find a new outlet for his anger in the unlikely sport of ping-pong.

Wally Green is a celebrity pro athlete from Brooklyn who overcame poverty and violence to become a world-class athlete. He represented the US in international competitions, co-founded a premier social ping-pong club in New York, and is an inspirational public speaker who gives hope to those facing adversity.

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. What was the experience of growing up in a severely abusive and narcissistic environment like?

2. How did a chance encounter with ping-pong lead to a life-changing opportunity?

3. How did the power of kindness disarm a violent and angry kid about to take drastic action?

Connect with Wally Green:

Wally Green on Instagram

Who Is Wally Green

Connect with Sabine Skvenberg: 

Resources - Free Kajabi  

Sabine on IG

Sabine on Facebook

Sabine on Linkedin

Sabine on YouTube

BECOME Podpage

➤Are you looking for the finest online course platform to build and sell courses swiftly? Why not try Kajabi? All the tools of Kajabi make it easier for you to create online courses, podcasts, coaching, memberships, and more! Try the 30-day free trial and make the most out of it. And if you're just getting started and want to put your offer up for sale in three days or less, follow this link and apply to "MAKING IT HAPPEN."

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Wally: Ran out of the house, ran a couple of doors down, went and got a gun, came back and put the gun to my stepfather's head. And I was like, "I'm going to end your life today." And my mom started just acting crazy and yelling and screaming and it was just crazy emotions going on. And my mom picked up the phone, and then my mom said, "You guys need to hurry up. My son is trying to kill my husband.” Not that my son is protecting me. Not that my husband was choking the hell out of my son and me is protecting me or my son has a gun. No, the exact words, "Well, my son is trying to kill my husband." And I felt the ultimate betrayal that any kid could ever feel.

00:00:54 Sabine: Hello, my name is Sabine Skvenberg, founder and host of BECOME. The content will inspire you to reach your aspirations and become the best version of yourself. I feature interviews with successful individuals from various industries, delving into their personal and professional journeys and their strategies to achieve their goals. We have to become the person we are meant to be first so we can live the life we are destined to live. That means we must overcome challenges and work through difficult times to learn, grow, and become the new, more fabulous version of ourselves. I'm so glad that you're here. Let's get on this journey together. 

00:01:48 Sabine: My guest today is Wally Green, a celebrity pro athlete from Brooklyn who overcame poverty and violence to become a world-class athlete. He represented the US in international competitions, including a historic trip to North Korea and co-founded a premier social ping-pong club in New York. Wally's determination, spirit, and perseverance make him a true inspiration and role model for anyone facing adversity. He proves that anything is possible with hard work, dedication and a positive attitude.

00:02:32 Sabine: Hello and welcome, Wally. How are you today?

00:02:36 Wally:  I'm great, thank you. Thanks for having me.

00:02:38 Sabine: Oh, it was just such a pleasure meeting you at the last Podfest expo where we both were speakers. And it's interesting that Saturday where we met, I actually got up and I meditated and I did set intentions for that day. And that one intention that I said was, "I just want to be present and want to create meaningful connections," and what do you know? I ran into you this morning or that morning, and I saw you playing table tennis with your iPhone. I said that's a cool dude, and then we got to talk and I actually got to play with you a little bit. I don't play much table tennis and I haven't done it for years. But there was one technique my dad taught me and that was how you start. And  you had not an English impression, like this when you...

00:03:42 Wally: Slice? 

00:03:44 Sabine: Slice! Yeah, slice. I think I surprised you a little bit.

00:03:48 Wally: It was very consistent.

00:03:51 Sabine: Good. Thanks for getting that compliment from a table tennis pro. So, yes, I put this light on my shoulder a little bit, little star. But joke aside, we talked a little bit and you shared your story. And to tell you the truth, what I think your story does can help so many people feeling that they are not alone and also feeling that there is a solution, that the solution really lies within us. So I really would like to start by getting into your story. You actually overcame poverty and violence to become a world class athlete. Today, you are not only an amazing athlete and human being, but you're also an inspirational public speaker who gives hope to those who are right now battling abuse and are in the midst of poverty and violence. Take us back to the time that you lived under these circumstances.

00:05:08 Wally: Yeah, so I grew up in the projects with very abusive, narcissistic stepfather, and he used to beat up my mom pretty much regularly and me as well. But even more, which I think was worse than the beatings, was the mental abuse. He used to systematically try to break us down to let us feel that he was the king of the castle, as you might say. So my stepfather would tell me things like you're never going to be successful. You're a failure. Whatever you do is never going to be good. And the thing is that he would say it in a way where he wasn't angry. Because I always talk about this. A lot of times parents say things because they're angry and they'll say, "Oh, you're a failure," but they don't really mean it . But he wouldn't say this out of anger. 

00:06:09 Wally: I would come home from school, maybe, and then he would say, "Hey, how was your day?" "It was okay." And then he would say, "Well, you know, you're going to have a lot more bad days like this, and you know that you're never going to be able to get out of this." And it's kind of strange because like I said, you're used to a parent saying this when they're angry, not when they're not angry. But he was trying to program this into our heads to believe this.

00:06:43 Sabine: The interesting part, as children, we are like sponges. And whatever we are being told, what we absorb, what we observe stays with us. So what kind of impact did it make on you?

00:07:02 Wally: Man, so I needed to find outlets, right ? Because I was hurting inside. I was very angry inside. And I started, say, the gang life at a very young age because that was where I found acceptance. I found acceptance with a bunch of people who kind of going through the same thing I was going through. And that became my family at 13. I already owned six guns, at 13, it was really crazy. But the other half of me found sports, right? So sports was the balance between that violent and angry life. Sports allowed me to use some of that anger to be competitive, and I just joined every single sports team because you practice in the morning and then you go to school all day, and then you practice in the afternoon or an evening. By the time I get home, I was kind of numb to all the abuse that was going on.

00:08:10 Sabine: One of the things that you shared with me when we had a prior conversation was a situation that you faced that almost got you into prison. Would you mind sharing that?

00:08:29 Wally: Yeah, that's one of the probably most I would say probably one of the most darkest moments in my entire life. I got sent away for two years because I got caught with a gun in school, a loaded weapon in school, and my mom somehow figured out that I would get sent to boarding school. So it was either ten years in jail boarding school, and because I had good grades in school, and I had good grades because I had people doing the work, had people doing the work because I needed to stay on the sports teams. And I came back. I got sent to Africa, and I came back two years later, and I wasn't that same kid. I wasn't that same kid that was being abused, and I wasn't that same kid that was being told you're useless. You're worthless. I hope you die.  Because now I was in Africa and I joined this thing called Man of War. And the reason I joined Man of War was the closest to an elite killing army. I don't even know how you would even say it. It was the craziest thing, one of the crazy things I ever did, and it was like Navy Seals for kids.

00:09:44 Sabine: Oh, wow.

00:09:45 Wally: That's what it was like. The training was crazy. And the reason I joined that is because I wasn't being accepted there. So I had...

00:09:55 Sabine: Why is that? 

00:09:56 Wally: Because I had the people and the Africans were telling me, "Oh, you're not the real Black." That's what they were telling me. And they were like they used to say to me they used to say, you're the kid who eats butter. In their language, they say, I eat butter. And what they tried to say was, I was soft, and I wasn't soft, in no mood. So I spent a lot of time fighting. I spent a lot of time trying to prove myself. And I joined this crazy thing, and I came back. I came back to America, and I was strong now. Every kid wants to protect his mom.

00:10:35 Wally: And when I came back, I was a different kid. I wasn't the same kid. I was totally, totally different mentally and physically. And my stepfather was grabbing my mom by the throat and yelling at her, and I turned around, and I just looked. That's all I did. I just turned around, I looked and he says, "If you look over here again, you're going to get the same thing." And I just exploded. Because like I said, I wasn't that same kid anymore. But all those emotions from all those years of abuse just came out then. 

00:11:10 Wally: And I ran out of the house. I actually don't even remember the part running out of the house, but I ran out the house. And at this time, I didn't have the guns in my house because I was away. So we put them at my friend's house. I ran out the house, ran a couple of doors down, went and got a gun, came back and put the gun to my stepfather's head. And I was like, "I'm going to end your life today." And my mom started just acting crazy and yelling and screaming. It was just a crazy emotion going on. And my mom picked up the phone and then my mom said, "You guys need to hurry up. My son is trying to kill my husband." Not that my son is protecting me, not that my husband was choking the hell out of me and my son is protecting me or my son has a gun. No. The exact words were my son is trying to kill my husband. And I felt the most ultimate betrayal that any kid could ever feel, right? 

00:12:17 Wally: How does your mom, who you always in all your life wanted to protect, all your life you wanted to protect her, how does that person turn against you. I put the gun to both of them. I was going to shoot my mom and my stepfather that day, but something came on my shoulder. I always talk about the something divine intervention, God, an angel, whatever you want to call it, came on my shoulder and say, "Hey, if you kill your mom and your stepfather, if you do this today, every single thing that your stepfather said about you is going to come true today." And my stepfather always said you will be dead. You'll be in jail for the rest of your life. That's what he always said to me. 

00:13:09 Wally: I thought about it, right ? And all of this is happening so fast. And all kinds of things that go through my head, all these emotions. I didn't hate anyone more than I hated my stepfather. And I could not allow anything that he ever said to come true. And so I came to my senses and I told him, I said you guys deserve each other and I'm out. And I just left. And I chose to not end their lives because ending their lives would have ended my life as well.

00:13:44 Sabine: Let me hop in here real quick to share something with you. Have you ever tried to build your own website, start a newsletter or build a course and charge for it? Have you ever wanted to make money online but are totally confused by all the different systems you need to have? That's why I use Kajabi. Kajabi is the most popular system for online marketers, coaches, top leaders and influencers. Kajabi helps online entrepreneurs take off. Over hundred thousands of us use Kajabi and have made over $4 billion. Why not be part of it? The best thing is you don't have to figure out tons of systems or crazy technology to start your online business. Kajabi helps you do all of that and it's all on one platform. That's why I use it. It makes my life so much easier and I can even earn money while I'm sleeping. You can build your web pages, blogs and membership sites. You can create offers, check out pages and collect money. You can host your videos. You can start your newsletter list, capture emails, start your marketing funnels all in one place. It makes it fun and easy with awesome tutorials and support. Since I've joined Kajabi from the beginning, I have a special affiliate link that I would like to share with you. A 30-day free trial. So nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Just go to my link that's in the show notes sabinekavenberg.com/resources, and we will redirect you to the free trial page. And if you are just starting out and want to get your offer out for sale in just three days, let me help you do that. Visit my web page, by the way, that I build on Kajabi and apply to "MAKING IT HAPPEN." So now let's get back to the show.

00:15:55 Sabine: Yeah. This message alone, hopefully for people that listen to that, they understand that we do have a choice, even in those circumstances. But I'm just wondering, there's so many domestic violence and shootings and people literally also end their own lives when they are the shooter, what you realized. But it's also because there are so many guns available here, and it's so different here in the States, like it is in Germany, for example, or other European countries that they are way less murders and suicides and whatnot, because the guns are not available. I'm totally for more control because of that very reason.

00:16:54 Sabine: But to go back to your story, I truly believe that you are being put here on this earth to have a greater mission and purpose. And when we are open to listen to that small voice or that angel that comes to you in that very moment of despair, then we can change. And what you did with that is really showing. And that's what this podcast is all about, that we have the chances to become our next greater self. So you ran away and how, from that moment on, what happened to you, that you actually became a world class athlete and advocate for peace and advocate the fight against domestic violence.

00:17:54 Wally: Yeah. So I found the most unlikely sport, which is ping-pong because no one in the projects plays ping-pong. He may play for fun. It's definitely played in the prisons. It's definitely one of the sports that's played, but no one really goes and seeks out to be a pro ping-pong player. I randomly found this sport at a pool hall where I got upset. I broke my pool stick. I needed someone to lash out at because that's what I did. Whenever I felt upset or something happened to me, I blamed everyone else. And I saw some kids playing ping-pong, and I went up to them and I was like, "Hey, I want to get it hit." And the guy said, "You play this." I say I don't play this. Just give me the paddle. So I was being a bully. The kid gave me the paddle and he hit the ball to me. And as soon as he hit the ball to me, I was trying to hit him in the face with the ball. I was trying to hit the face. It's like hit the kid in the face. Oh, my bad. But it wasn't me. It was me being a bully.

00:19:07 Wally: And so it's taking my anger out. So I tried to hit him in the face with the ball, but because I was so bad, I went and hit the ball. And I had the angle of the racket turned the wrong way, and the ball went on the table and the kid goes, "Oh, my God, that's amazing. You should go to this ping-pong club. You should go check it out where people play." And I was like there's no way there's a place where people gather together and play this. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. And I was like, "Yeah, okay." And I went down to the place he said, and when I got there, I saw people playing, and they were standing back from the tables making all this noise and oh, and doing all kinds of crazy stuff. And I was like, 'Wow, man, this is crazy." And more importantly, there were Black people playing. All the people that were there that day, I think it was maybe I remember like six, seven, eight people playing, they were all black. If I walked into that place and maybe I saw all Asians just playing, then I probably would have just walked–

00:20:04 Sabine: So how did you end up actually becoming that athlete, that pro athlete?

00:20:09 Wally: Well, I got some help. I met a guy who came to that club one day and says, "Hey, do you have a partner?" I was like, "No." He goes, "I'll pay you $20 if we can play together two times a week." And I was like, "What? $20?" And at this time, I was basically living in the streets. Because, like I said, I had left my house and I never went back home. And $20 was a lot of money for...

00:20:34 Sabine: How old were you?

00:20:37 Wally: I was at the time, about 17 years old. 16 and a half, 17. And $20 is a lot of money. $20, I could eat. So this guy paid me $20. We talked. One day, I went to the club, and a 22 caliber, it's a small handgun, 22 caliber fell out of my bag in front of him. And then he saw it, I looked at him, he looked at me, and I was like, "I got to go." I wasn't going to stay. I don't know he's going to even call the police. So I left. I thought, "Man, there goes my $20." That's it. And he actually called me back a couple of days later, and he says, "Hey, are we still playing?" And I was like, "What? Okay." I didn't think nothing of it because I needed the $20. I was depending on that $20.

00:21:24 Wally: And I play with him, and he says, "I want to invite you to my house." And I was wondering why would you want to invite a kid like me to your house? It didn't make any sense, right? But of course, because I was making $20. Let's go. Because, you know, a lot of people say, "Hey, weren't you afraid that he might do something ?" No, I wasn't afraid. You know, I walk around with guns, so I'm not afraid that this guy is going to do anything at all. If anything, it's bad for him from bringing me to his house.

00:21:57 Wally: Anyway, I went to his house, and he introduced me to his family, and they did what families do. Sat down at the table, ate at the same time, passed the food around, had conversation. And I was like, "Oh, okay, this is very interesting." I think he wanted to give me an idea of what family was. He wanted to be an idea what family was. And then he goes, "Hey, you know what? I really want to help you, so I'm going to pay for you to go to Germany to learn ping-pong." And I was like--

00:22:34 Sabine: Wow. I'm just wondering why he was doing it? Did you ever figure it out?

00:22:41 Wally: No. You know what? I'll tell you something even more importantly. Because there's a crucial point to this part of the story, which I always forget to mention this, but there's a crucial point to this part of the story. He never mentioned about the gun that fell out of my bag in front of him. He never brought it up. He never talked about it. He never mentioned it. It was almost like it didn't happen. And after years of thinking about this crazy story, I think, maybe that was something he did on purpose, because 150%, if he would have said something like, "Oh, you shouldn't be walking around with guns, you shouldn't be carrying this, you shouldn't be doing that," I would have never talked to him again. $20 or not. I would have just ghosted him immediately. Like immediately. So the fact that he never brought up the gun that fell in front of him and he never talked about it, he never said anything, just never talked about it again, and that was it. And that's the reason why everything worked the way --

00:23:51 Sabine: That really turned everything around. You became this great athlete and you started your career. So what was going on in your mind? Without going into really the details, it probably is a process, but can you think at one moment in your life that was really the transitional moment for you to really understand and know that there is something else for you in store and that you are going  to go a different direction?

00:24:30 Wally: Just because I went to Germany doesn't mean I wasn't still this violent kid, right? If you take a kid out the projects and you put them in Germany, it doesn't make him a nice kid by any means necessary. So I was still a violent , angry kid. Just a violent, angry kid now in Germany. I lived, I think it's in German sports Schula, like the sports school. Under Sports Scholar, where all the kids where all the kids live, they all live there and they play different sports. So these are like your future pro athletes, your future Olympians. So I live with these kids, and when I was there, I was having a problem fitting in. And not because they weren't inviting, they were very inviting. They saw me like, "Where are you from?" "In New York." "Oh, that's the guy from New York. Oh, that's the guy from America." And they're like, "Oh my God, you're so cool and you're so nice," and this and I was like, "Get away from me." That's how I was like.

00:25:30 Wally: Because you know where I grew up, if people are like, "Oh, you're amazing, you're great." If people are singing your praises, it means they want something. Or they're trying to do something bad to you. No one just does that. So when I was in Germany, it was weird that everyone wanted to be my friend. Everyone was like, "Man, you're great. We love America," and this and that. And I was like, "What?" And so I became mentally confused. So there's a term called killing you with kindness. Killing you with kindness is a real thing. It's the effect of, let's say I'm really angry and I want to punch you in the face. And you say, "Wally, I really love you. You're such an amazing, beautiful guy." How can I punch you in the face now. I can't punch you in the face. But saying that I'm an amazing, beautiful guy doesn't take the anger away. So now I'm in a bad spot. Now I can't punch you in the face because I still have some humanity left.

00:26:32 Wally: Because there are people that I grew up with who don't have humanity. They'll still punch you in the face doesn't matter. But I still have my humanity. So now you said something amazingly nice. You're not feeling the fire. Where does this anger go? So now, I'm still angry, but I don't want to punch you in the face or I won't punch you in the face. So the anger, where does it go? It just stays inside and it kind of makes you confused. And that's called killing you with kindness. People say, "Oh, I really hate you." "Yeah, I really love you, too. You're amazing." And inside you burn, because that person didn't give me that few. So I can come back with the second word or come back with last shout.

00:27:14 Sabine: So how did you deal with that?

00:27:17 Wally: Man, you remember that? You remember that thing I talked about that when I came on my shoulder that stopped me from killing my mom and my stepfather? Well, that thing came back to me and it said, "Hey," it says, "Listen up," and, you know, look what he goes, "Why are you angry? Why? You're not in America. You're not in a gang. You're not being abused by your stepfather. You're not part of any of these things. You're in a different country where people actually like you and they don't like you because you can pick up your gun and protect them. They like you just because you're you. So what the hell is wrong with you?"

00:28:05 Sabine: I love it.

00:28:06 Wally: Yeah, that right there was a turning point. Right there, that was, like, about face change, mindset change. Every kind of change you could think of happened there when I actually realized that not everyone in the world is out to get you. Not everyone in the world hates you. And there are people in this world who genuinely care about you just because you are you and not what you can do for them. And that was the change. That was the pivoting point, the turning point.

00:28:40 Sabine: This is the golden nugget. I mean, there are so many golden nuggets, but I think this is the golden nugget everyone can take away from that. Despite if you are abused or not, where you live, who you are, you are being loved because of you. And this is so important to understand. We all are unique in our abilities, in our talents, in how we live, how we give. And once you accept that and really take it as, yes, I am me, and I am special in many different ways, oh, my gosh. I think we would have a much, much happier world.

00:29:27 Wally: Yes. I agree.

00:29:28 Sabine: Well, this was such an amazing conversation, and I know my listeners will get so much out of it. Now, what kind of projects are you working on? What is next for you?

00:29:41 Wally: Well, I love talking to kids. Talking to kids is something that I really like to do. I do some work with kids who suffer severe PTSD from family trauma. I do talks in schools. I'm a TEDx speaker. It's funny because I got asked to do TEDx three times. Two times I said no because I didn't like public speaking, actually, believe it or not. And two times I said no. And then the third time, they came to me and they said, "We have a perfect TEDx Talk for you." And I said, 'What is it about?"  He said, "We want it to be on Perseverance. It's a live audience. Perseverance and we want you to tailor your talk to the youth." And I was like, "Yes!" Immediately, the answer was yes. Not knowing what the hell I was getting into, though, but the answer was yes for sure.

00:30:41 Wally: So that's my mission, to help and support these kids that are going through the same things that I went through. And it does have to be on the same level, in any level. Kids just need an air. A lot of times, they just need someone to listen to them. Someone to just hear them. Someone that they know went through the same thing that can understand what they're feeling.

00:31:07 Sabine: You are a light in this world, and you shine this light to the kids, to the youth because they can relate to it. So I wish you all the best on your journey. And if people want to get in touch with you, maybe they want to invite you to speak on their stages or for their group. How can they do that?

00:31:30 Wally: Man, a great place to get in touch with me is on Instagram. It's wallygreennyc. wallygreennyc. Instagram, best place to get in touch with me.

00:31:40 Sabine: Perfect. And I'll make sure to put it also in the show notes. Thank you so much for being here, and best for you and the future.

00:31:51 Wally: Thank you. Thank you for having me.

00:31:54 Sabine: That was my interview and if you enjoyed it,  give us a five star review. Leave a comment and share it with your friends. Thanks for listening and till I see you again. Always remember, serve from the heart, follow your passion and live the life you imagine.

After 24 years of service, Melissa was given 1 hour to clear her desk with no word of thanks! However, this allowed her to rethink her life. She was open to being guided as to what was next. She shares her story of how a seemingly devastating circumstance led her to step into her true passion & purpose!

Show notes: 

Melissa embarks on an unexpected path of self-discovery and empowerment after being suddenly let go from her corporate position, eventually leading her to become a health coach and create a foundation to help girls in undeveloped nations access school and break the poverty cycle.

Melissa Deally is a health coach, podcast host, and founder of Your Guided Health Journey. She is passionate about helping people optimize their health and guiding them through their health journey.

In this episode, you will learn the following:

1. How to optimize health to avoid getting sick and not needing to wait for a "wake-up call".

2. The power of investing in one's own health journey to achieve better results.

3. How a series of unforeseen circumstances led to her becoming a successful health coach.

Connect with Melissa Deally: 

Your Guided Health Journey

Melissa Deally on Linkedin

Connect with Sabine Skvenberg: 

https://www.sabinekvenberg.com/resources 

Sabine Skvenberg on Facebook

Sabine Skvenberg on Linkedin

Sabine Skvenberg on YouTube

BECOME Podpage

➤Are you looking for the finest online platform to build and sell courses swiftly? Why not try Kajabi? All the tools of Kajabi make it easier for you to create online courses, podcasts, coaching, memberships, and more! Try the 30-day free trial and make the most out of it. And if you're just getting started and want to put your offer up for sale in three days or less, follow this link and apply to "MAKING IT HAPPEN."

TRANSCRIPT

00:00:00 Melissa: So I had a really good mindset around understanding that I just have to get started. I may not feel ready, and that's okay. If I wait to feel ready, I will never start.

00:00:15 Sabine: That's right. And to quote the great Zig Ziglar, "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great."

00:00:24 Sabine: Welcome to my podcast, BECOME. The content will inspire you to take steps towards reaching your aspirations and becoming the best version of yourself. I feature interviews with successful individuals from various industries, delving into their personal and professional journeys and their strategies to achieve their goals. We have to become the person we are meant to be so we can live the life we are destined to live. That means we must overcome challenges and work through difficult times to learn, grow, and become the more incredible version of ourselves. I am so glad that you're here. Let's get on this journey together.

00:01:10 Sabine: My guest today is health coach Melissa Deally. She is the host of the podcast “Don't Wait for Your Wake Up Call!” and founder of Your Guided Health Journey.

00:01:23 Sabine: Welcome, Melissa. How are you today?

00:01:26 Melissa: I'm doing wonderfully, thank you. How are you, Sabine?

00:01:29 Sabine: Oh, I'm fantastic. So where are you calling in from?

00:01:34 Melissa: I'm actually coming in from Whistler, British Columbia, Canada. So the ski hill is right out my window.

00:01:40 Sabine: Boohoo! Another international guest. I love it. Yeah, we recently met during Podapalooza, which is an event where we both were featured as podcasters, and we didn't have the chance to meet then, so we thought we'll catch up here.

00:01:59 Melissa: Exactly.

00:02:00 Sabine: Yeah. Your podcast is called ‘Don't Wait for Your Wake Up Call!.’ Can you tell us more about your podcast?

00:02:07 Melissa: Sure, I would love to. Thank you. I named it back because what I am doing with that podcast is bringing health information to people so that they can be able to make better choices in their health journey. And our health is always a journey from the moment we come onto this planet to the moment we leave. However, we often don't get taught how we can truly optimize our health through our education system or even through our medical system. Our medical system is often helping you once you get sick, but why do we have to wait till we get sick? And so that's what I'm trying to give people, is that education on how to optimize  our health so we don't have to wait to get sick, and hence, don't wait for your wake up call.

00:02:56 Sabine: So, Melissa, we had a prior conversation, and before you started your health journey or health education journey, you were in a totally different field, and you were actually in the corporate world, and you worked there for 24 years. And then you got this devastating quote, unquote in that moment, I'm sure it was devastating news that you were laid off. So tell us first, what did you do for 24 years?

00:03:38 Melissa: I worked in a hotel company in Canada, and it was a brand that had over 40 hotels across the country. And it was my responsibility to bring all of the Asian guests to the hotels across Canada because I had the good fortune to be raised in Asia. I speak Japanese, I understand the Asian cultures. So it was a really good fit. And I absolutely loved this job. It allowed me to travel back to Asia on business. I could also then see my friends. So I absolutely loved this work.

00:04:10 Sabine: Can you still speak Japanese? Can you give us a sentence of Japanese?

00:04:17 Melissa: Sure. I do still speak Japanese. And yes, "Ohayou gozaimasu. Genki desu ka? Ikaga desu ka?" is, you know, "Good morning. How are you?" As simple as that.

00:04:29 Sabine: I love it. I love it . So you are in Canada and then you lost the job, but then a big fish bought the little fish, and then you were basically given 1 hour to clear out your desk without even a thank you.

00:04:51 Melissa: Yes.

00:04:52 Sabine: How was that experience? What did you feel and were you angry? What was that experience for you?

00:04:59 Melissa: I was a, first of all, shocked because we had been told as salespeople that we were not going to be the first ones let go because we would need to have time to transition our client base to other people, et cetera, et cetera. And so that's a, first of all, what we had been told when we heard the sale was happening, and then to find out that I was really one of the first to be let go and the hour to clear out my desk, that was shocking. But it just hurt that there was no words of thank you through that entire process. And it was probably about five days later when HR contacted me. And I wasn't the only one being let go. Hundreds of us were being let go. So HR was very busy and it took them probably about five days until we were able to connect.

00:05:53 Melissa: And I said to them, they were checking in, how are you doing? And I said, "You know what, I get it. This is business. This is what happens. But I just want to say that I'm just the most hurt. It's simply that there wasn't even any kind of thank you for my years of service." And then the HR person said, "Well, that was actually going to be the next thing I said, which sounds really inauthentic now that you've told me that. I'm sorry that you didn't get that in that moment when you got the phone call that you were being let go."

00:06:24 Sabine: Wow. So what did you do after finding yourself without a job?

00:06:29 Melissa: Well, I was grateful for the fact that because I had been there 24 years, I did receive a payout. And so I didn't feel like I had to rush into another job tomorrow in order to make the mortgage payments, et cetera. So I did give myself that gift of space to figure out what it truly was that I wanted to do next. I didn't want to stay in the same industry, I did look at this as one door closes, another door opens. This is an opportunity for me to do something completely different with the second half of my career, and that's what I consider it. So I needed time to figure out what that was, and I was open to being guided.

00:07:16 Melissa: And over the course of the next four or five months, I was actually introduced to a supplement company. And I thought, "I don't want to do supplements. Everybody does supplements." Until I found out that it was supplements specifically for the brain. And I found that interesting because I knew there was near epidemic levels of Alzheimer's and dementia. And if I could share this with the world and start to reduce the rates of Alzheimer's and dementia by educating people about looking after their brain, well, that would be one of those touchstones that I said I wanted to help humanity more, and that would help. So I looked at it and I went, "This is interesting."

00:07:59 Melissa: And it got me thinking, because my grandmother was 99 at the time, and she lived at home all by herself, cared for herself, and fully cognitively functioning. And so I knew that I had good genes, but I wondered is that enough? If I want to be on her path versus the Alzheimer's and dementia path, are my good genes enough or do I have to do more? And then I started comparing her life to my life. And she was born in little old Christchurch, New Zealand, in 1916, you know, bottom corner of the Earth, before all the toxins we have in the world today. Growing all their own food on the property. And then I was raised in Tokyo, Japan. Amazing life. However, it was in the 1970s with manufacturing plants, spewing out toxins, and I realized I'm way more toxic than my grandmother was. I need to do more.

00:08:54 Sabine: Absolutely.

00:08:56 Melissa: So I started learning about the brain because I was intrigued. You use your brain 24/7, right? So I was like, "If I can do more for my brain, I probably should." So I started learning about the brain, learning about toxicity and how it impacts the brain and the body . And about four months later, my oldest daughter got a concussion in her first grade. 12 soccer games of the season.

00:09:19 Sabine: Yes, we are living in a different world, and I totally understand where you're coming from. The matter of the fact is, my mother-in-law just passed away last year from Alzheimer's, and I know how difficult it is for many, many people. So talking about being guided, you took the time and just let the universe direct something to you. And now, your daughter had a concussion. So how did this all work together ?

00:10:08 Melissa: So she had that concussion and she had literally just started using this supplementation for the brain, and I realized as I looked at what the supplementation for the brain was doing, that it would be very beneficial in her recovery. So I continued having her use it, while also ensuring that she was getting treatment with local physiotherapists that specialize in concussion therapy. And my piece was kind of bringing the nutritional piece to it. She also didn't have the cognitive ability to go to the appointment and come home and tell me what they said she needed to do before her next appointment because of the concussion. So I wasn't working full time, right? Everything happens for a reason. Now, I'm able to go to the appointments with her, so I can capture that information and then also remind her to do those things each day because the healing isn't at the appointment. The healing happens between the appointments, right ? So that's what we were doing. And it's a very difficult injury because she didn't ask for the concussion.

00:11:16 Melissa: And now she's in grade 12, she can't go to school, she can't do any of the fun things that all the other grade twelve kids are doing. She's very isolated, has low energy, can't be around lots of noises, and so it's very hard and a lot of people will go into a depression. So I was trying to manage that along with the good nutrition. Two months into her recovery, I got a phone call when I was driving to Vancouver from the high school to please go and pick up my younger daughter who had a suspected concussion from grade 8 gym class. And in that moment, I looked out my windshield, across the water, up at the heavens and said, really? This is how you show me my path? Please stop taking out my children. So now I have two daughters with two very different concussions, both using very good brain supplementation, both going to  therapy, et cetera, and guiding their journeys. And I realized people need more support in their health journey.

00:12:23 Melissa: The body only heals in a relaxed state. And when you're trying to figure out your health journey on your own, you're still in a stress state and the body can't heal because you're wondering am I doing it right? Is this the right information? You can go on Google and get ten different things that you should do, or diagnose yourself as imminently passing away tomorrow, which is very stressful. So people need more support and a little bit more hand holding.

00:12:51 Melissa: And soon after I was invited to work at a holistic clinic, and I wasn't able to get insurance to work there because I didn't have a certification. I only had my own research that I had done in order to guide my daughter's healing. So that led me to go back to school, and I contacted a friend who was a life coach, because life coach had kind of been ruminating in the back of my head. Is that something I want to do? But it hadn't landed. And I called this friend and said, "Look, I need to go back to school. I need to get a certification under my belt. Where did you do your life coaching training?" And he said you don't need to be a life coach. You need to be a health coach. And I went, "What? What's that?" I've never even heard the term. That landed. And I considered that another gift from the universe through my friend.

00:13:40 Melissa: And I researched health coaching schools, found one that I absolutely aligned with because of its focus on the brain as well, and jumped right in. And within 10 days, I was in this new cohort of students. And from that moment, I have never looked back. I couldn't get enough of this information. And I was like, "I'm in my 40s, why am I only learning this about my body now?" And then I realized, well, if I don't know this because I've been busy with my corporate career and being a mom and being a wife and having a life, I bet there's all these other people out there that don't know this either. And what if I learn this and then I teach it to them in ways that they can easily work it?

00:14:24 Sabine: Let me hop in here really quick to share something with you. Have you ever tried to build your own website, start a newsletter or build a course and charge for it? Have you ever wanted to make money online, but are totally confused by all the different systems you need to have? That's why I use Kajabi. Kajabi is the most popular system for online marketers, coaches, thought leaders and influencers. Kajabi helps online entrepreneurs take off. Over hundred thousands of us use Kajabi and have made over $4 billion. Why not be part of it? The best thing is you don't have to figure out tons of systems or crazy technology to start your online business. Kajabi helps you do all of that and it's all on one platform. That's why I use it. It makes my life so much easier and I can even earn money while I'm sleeping. You can build your web pages, blogs and membership sites. You can create offers, check out pages and collect money. You can host your videos. You can start your newsletter list, capture emails, start your marketing funnels all in one place. It makes it fun and easy with awesome tutorials and support. Since I've joined Kajabi from the beginning, I have a special affiliate link that I would like to share with you. A 30-day free trial. So nothing to lose, but everything to gain. Just go to my link that's in the show notes, sabineskvenberg.com/resources and we will redirect you to the free trial page. And if you are just starting out and want to get your offer out for sale in just three days, let me help you do that, visit my web page, by the way, that I build on Kajabi and apply to “MAKING IT HAPPEN.” So now let's get back to the show.

00:16:34 Sabine: I love it because this and just seeing you when we have this interview, it's also on video. So just seeing you, when you explained how you kind of found your calling, you were lit up. That means you really pursued your passion, what you are passionate about, and you found something within, but you also took the action, the right action to get the right education to start something on your own. And when I work with my clients, this is the first thing that I go through to guide them, to really find, to let go of the old things that don't serve them any longer and then really being open to receiving the news. Because you see, if you are preoccupied, like with your job or whatever else in your life, you're not open to receiving something new.

00:17:40 Melissa: True.

00:17:40 Sabine: And sometimes something devastating has to happen to become our next greater self. And I totally can see this with you. So you did the health education and then what? How did you then start your own business?

00:17:59 Melissa: So what I did is I completed one level of my health education and learned so much there. And one of the things that I learned is that your learning never ends either. The program was excellent, though. And this was another aspect that I enjoyed, is that they have included in my training, business coaching to help you get started in your business. And that was phenomenal because I'd been in the corporate world, there was people that did the marketing, people that did the accounting, people that did all the aspects. And now as a solopreneur, you're wearing all those hats and you need to learn how to do all of these things.

00:18:43 Melissa: So my program included that training at a very basic level, but it was enough for me to get started. What I also loved about the training was the focus on our mindset and how our beliefs impact our behaviors, which impact our results. And I had also read the book, ‘The Growth Mindset' by Carol Dweck. So I had a really good mindset around understanding that I just have to get started. I may not feel ready and that's okay. If I wait to feel ready, I will never start.

00:19:22 Sabine: That's right. And to quote the great Zig Ziggler, "You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great." So you just got started. And when was that? When did you start your business?

00:19:36 Melissa: That was in 2017. And another step that really helped me get started was part of our training required that we do some case studies with clients and that we actually take clients through the entire program. And that was required for completion of the program. And it was up to us as to whether we charged the clients or whether we did it for free. And we also had to do six enrollment calls as practice. So that's the phone call where you're talking to the person, and then you're enrolling them into your program, and they give you scripts and everything. So it's all very helpful. So I did six of those calls, and five people wanted to work with me. That was wonderful. And what I did is I charged them a fee. I didn't do it for free. I didn't charge them full price. I wasn't ready to charge full price, but I offered them to work with me at a discounted price because I was just getting started. And they loved that idea.

00:20:44 Melissa: And what I loved about it and why I decided to do that is because I knew myself if I didn't invest anything in it and it was free, I wouldn't take it seriously. And if I had five people go through the program not taking it seriously, at the end of that, I might feel like I'm not a good coach. But if I had five people that had invested something in it, then I knew that they would put more effort in and they would see the results, and then I would feel confident to move out into the world and charge people full price because now I'm certified.

00:21:19 Sabine: I love it. I really applaud you for that because we all are just human beings, right? And on top of that, if somebody gets something for free, they don't value the program or you, in that case, as, "Oh, yeah," I mean, "She's just doing it for free." I totally are on the same page. So basically that whole what we think, bad situation really being let go of a job that you had for 24 years. And in that moment, it might seem horrible, but actually it was a blessing in disguise.

00:22:07 Melissa: Oh, I agree. You've just given me full body truth bumps because... yes, I agree. And it didn't take me long to be able to look back upon it and see that. And in that process, I learned that everything happened for us, et cetera, et cetera. So this whole entire process happened for me so that I could really land in my purpose and my passion and everything that came beforehand just better prepared me to be the coach that I am today.

00:22:39 Sabine: I saw on your website that you support a nonprofit organization called Girls Matter. Tell us more about that.

00:22:48 Melissa: I do. That's my passion project. So I saw a documentary with my Girl Guides, or in the US, they're called Girl Scouts. Probably in around 2013, 2014, called Girls Rising. And it was a wonderful documentary about the plight of girls in 3rd World nations not being allowed to go to school. And I watched that documentary with tears coming down my face as these girls were begging to go to school and simply being denied because they were female. And I'm in a room of females knowing that each and every one of them at different times has begged not to go to school. And I did that myself as a child. We take school for granted in our first world countries. And I just thought, at some point in my life, I need to change this and do something about it. And I didn't know how to get started.

00:23:41 Melissa: However, one day, again, in 2017, I was at a conference where somebody said we are all put on this Earth to never stop learning, to find our passion and be of service, and you don't have to know the how. You just have to know the why, and the how will happen. And all of that really resonated with me. And I realized I just have to get started with Girls Matter as well. And I contacted some friends who had a nonprofit and said, "How did you start this nonprofit?" And they said, "What are you doing?" And I told them, and they said, "We'll do it with you." So the whole premise of this is to keep girls in school and give girls access to school. And by doing that, we are stopping teenage marriages, and we are breaking the poverty cycle one girl, one family, one village at a time. There is a statistic that I saw in that first documentary that if India educated just 1% more girls, they would grow their GDP by $5 billion.

00:23:48 Sabine: Wow.

00:23:48 Melissa: So there's the answer.

00:24:50 Sabine: Yeah.

00:24:50 Melissa: Where is the answer? So simple. It's not necessarily easy because there's cultural things as well. But if we just educate the girls, we can bring entire countries out of poverty.

00:25:03 Sabine: That shows me again, that we don't have to wait for something big to happen or some big money stay behind a cause. No. We can start if we have that passion in our heart. And as you mentioned, people will come to you and say, "Hey, what can we do? We want to help." And what I love about  your organization is that 100% of the proceeds go to this nonprofit. So everybody is donating their time and resources even to that cause.

00:25:48 Melissa: I had just literally last week launched a Go Fund Me campaign for Girls Matter, for a very specific project, and that is to raise enough funds to provide the girls with menstrual pads so they can go to school every day because right now they don't have menstrual supplies. So they have to stay home for one week of every month and not attend school.

00:26:10 Sabine: Wow.

00:26:11 Melissa: And again, the universe gives back. So I was at a rotary meeting just a few weeks ago, talking about the girls, how we were supporting them, and this project for menstrual pads that I wanted to start. And lo and behold, the rotary organization in my local town is connected to one in Uganda, in the same country where the girls are that we're supporting, and they've just built a manufacturing plant to make these menstrual supplies. So now we just have to fundraise the funds in order to be able to support the girls. And for just $20, you can provide a girl with these reusable washable pads, enough of them for her four years of high school.

00:26:53 Sabine: Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. I will be giving those $20 to support one girl for four years, so sign me up. Melissa, thank you so much for being on this podcast. If people want to get in touch with you, how can they do that?

00:27:14 Melissa: Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. And the easiest way is simply Melissa at yourguidedhealthjourney.com.

00:27:23 Sabine: And I will make sure to put it in the show notes. Once again, thank you so much, and I look forward to another conversation sometime in the future.

00:27:32 Melissa: Thank you very much for having me and for helping me share the work that I do in the world. I appreciate it.

00:27:40 Sabine: That was my interview, and if you enjoyed it, give us a five star review, leave a comment and share it with your friends. Thanks for listening. Until I see you again. Always remember, serve from the heart, follow your path, and live the life you imagine.

We have to do these three things if we want to get things done. Whether you want to achieve things in your personal or professional life, you must follow these three steps I share in this episode.

Go to https://www.sabinekvenberg.com/resources to get the 30-Day Kajabi trial and more.

Have a question? Email me at [email protected] 

His “Why Not” attitude led him to start his own business, which was totally different from the secret service career path he wanted. Roman shares his journey as a first-generation Ukrainian and how the war in Ukraine affects his family. He shares how overcoming his personal and business challenges turned into opportunities.

Shortly after birth, Kathryn was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy (CP). This didn’t slow her down. She has 3 degrees, 2 bronze medals, a best-selling book, "The Joy of Obstacles, and a coaching business. She is sharing her experience and tips on dealing with a disability and the bullying that comes along with it. She feels that she has been given a gift, and she has turned it into a way of living. 

You can reach Kathryn at: https://inspiredbykathryn.com/

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This is the first interview that I had that was heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. I was between tears and smiles. I don’t want to give anything away, but I can say this story is beyond motivation. It is Inspiration on steroids. It shows us that no matter what happens in our lives, we can always turn things around to become our greater selves and serve on a level we didn’t believe we could.

Angel Alexander, Author, Speaker, and Grief Coach, served in the Military when she got the most devastating news. Listen to her story now. 

Contac Information: 

Guest Angela Alexander: https://angelaalexander.net/

Host Sabine Kvenberg: https://www.sabinekvenberg.com/   

Get free resources from Sabine now: https://www.sabinekvenberg.com/resources 

When you sit in silence, you open yourself up to divine guidance. Denise is multi-passionate and refuses to be put into a box. "If you have many talents, you can serve in various ways.". She shows up using her many gifts to make an impact. Denise shares her story, explaining how you can use your story as your strength. She helps women build a life they love by seeing themselves the way God sees them and embracing their power to be, do, have, and achieve anything they want.

Kay grew up as a kid with endless energy, cartwheeling her way through life. She also grew up being bullied and felt the pressure many of us feel to fit the mold society deems us to be in. After over 20 years of self-suppression, Kay noticed many others struggle with similar destructive thought patterns after opening up about her struggles. Now she works to embrace radical self-acceptance and self-love and shares her journey to inspire others. Kay believes we all have the capability to find alignment with our true selves and shed the lies we’ve been told and the lies we continue to tell ourselves to embrace who we are.