Becoming Relational with Elizabeth Gillette

Let's explore the grief, sadness, and loss that can accompany healing, personal growth, and life transitions—even the ones we've worked hard for and desire. In this episode, I talk about how attachment styles shape the way we process difficult emotions, why minimization of our experiences keeps us stuck, and how honoring the parts of ourselves that helped us survive can illuminate our path forward.

About me: I'm a therapist and community member on my own healing journey—and I LOVE to honor and amplify the ways we are embracing our humanness, showing up fully in the world, and utilizing our relationships and communities to heal and experience joy. I'm SO happy you're here with me.

BECOMING RELATIONAL MINI-GUIDE

Romantic partnerships, relationship skills, self-awareness, communication, and connection are at the heart of this episode where I explore what it really means to show up well for your partner. Instead of focusing on what your partner isn't doing, I invite you to slow down and ask yourself what kind of partner you are—with a list of honest reflection questions covering everything from listening skills to mental load to supporting your partner's growth. I also talk about why one person shifting their behavior can change the entire relational dynamic, and when it's time to seek support from a trained couples therapist. I'm looking forward to hearing how this episode feels for you. Thank you for listening!

Support Bundle for Working Through Disconnection

BECOMING RELATIONAL MINI-GUIDE

About me: I'm a therapist and community member on my own healing journey—and I LOVE to honor and amplify the ways we are embracing our humanness, showing up fully in the world, and utilizing our relationships and communities to heal and experience joy. I'm SO happy you're here with me.

The avoidant attachment style is commonly misunderstood and framed negatively in our culture. Today, I want to share about some of the things I think we get wrong about the avoidant attachment style and explore how we might create a more balanced perspective on relational healing. I reflect on some of the writing I've done related to the avoidant style and the feedback I've received.

Here are the blog posts I reference in the episode:

Why You Shouldn't Avoid Avoidants

Why "Never Date an Avoidant" Is Terrible Advice for Most of Us (and What to Do Instead)

Here is the podcast episode I created about IFS/Parts work and attachment healing

About me: I'm a therapist and community member on my own healing journey—and I LOVE to honor and amplify the ways we are embracing our humanness, showing up fully in the world, and utilizing our relationships and communities to heal and experience joy. I'm SO happy you're here with me.

BECOMING RELATIONAL MINI-GUIDE

If you'd like to request a topic for a future episode or ask a question, you can leave a message for me here via Speakpipe!

To schedule a 1:1 consult with me, reach out here!

For more information about my work:

Blog

Coaching

Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples

In this episode, I'm inviting you back to the core concepts of self-care, healing, and personal growth. I'll explore what it truly means to nurture your mental health, protect your emotional well-being, and build sustainable wellness through healthy boundaries and meaningful connection.

What it means to engage in genuine self-care can feel confusing, especially with the noise of consumer culture raging at all times. I share my own journey of learning how to invest in healing, set healthy boundaries, and show up with integrity, not just for the people I love, but for myself.

We explore how taking care of yourself is the foundation for showing up fully in relationships, community, and the causes that matter most to you. I walk through the pillars of self-care that guide my life to give you some examples that you can use in your own life.

I'm inviting you to stop comparing yourself to curated glimpses of other people's lives and return home to yourself. If you're navigating perimenopause, parenthood, burnout, or just trying to get through the week with your heart intact, I'm right here with you—loving you through the challenges and cheering you on as you prioritize your well-being.

About me: I'm a therapist, coach, author and community member on my own healing journey—and I LOVE to honor and amplify the ways we are embracing our humanness, showing up fully in the world, and utilizing our relationships and communities to heal and experience joy. I'm SO happy you're here with me.

BECOMING RELATIONAL MINI-GUIDE

If you'd like to request a topic for a future episode or ask a question, you can leave a message for me here via Speakpipe!

To schedule a 1:1 consult with me, reach out here!

For more information about my work:

Blog

Coaching

Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples

Internal Family Systems, or parts work—a model I use every single day in my therapy and coaching practice—is one of my favorite things to talk about (especially when it comes to healing attachment wounds). This episode is a shout out to anyone who has felt like they've had to put parts of themselves away to be more accepted or loved.

I talk about how we learn to break ourselves into pieces early in life (or even in adult relationships) and how those parts become protectors, managers, and firefighters doing their best to keep us safe. The beautiful thing about IFS is that it invites us to get curious about these parts, develop a real relationship with them, and update them about who we are now as adults with so many more resources than we had back then.

I also share how parts work and attachment theory blend together so well, why safety is the treatment when it comes to healing trauma and attachment wounding, and how our patterns of survival can interrupt our patterns of attachment — with others and with ourselves.

I walk you through a visualization practice I love using with clients and what it looks like to scoop yourself up, claim all of your parts, and refuse to leave any piece of who you are behind.

I'm so glad you're here.

About me: I'm a therapist and community member on my own healing journey—and I LOVE to honor and amplify the ways we are embracing our humanness, showing up fully in the world, and utilizing our relationships and communities to heal and experience joy. I'm SO happy you're here with me.

BECOMING RELATIONAL MINI-GUIDE

If you'd like to request a topic for a future episode or ask a question, you can leave a message for me here via Speakpipe!

To schedule a 1:1 consult with me, reach out here!

For more information about my work:

Blog

Coaching

Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples

Relational skills like reflective listening, embodied presence, and attunement are the tools that create deeper, more meaningful connection and I want to share them with you!

I'm so glad to be back to the podcast! In this episode, I dive right into what it actually means to become relational and why sharpening these skills matters (especially now). I introduce a relational framework and walk through each one with real, practical examples you can start using in your everyday relationships.

I also share some personal updates, including a sweet workshop series I just finished, my upcoming professional psychology book Attachment Theory Made Simple (coming out in the spring!), and some exciting new offerings on the horizon, including a supervision group for therapists and a consultation group for coaches and helping professionals.

And please don't miss the free Becoming Relational Mini Guide linked here. It's full of ideas for showing up well in your community and you can get started today.

BECOMING RELATIONAL MINI-GUIDE

About me: I'm a therapist and community member on my own healing journey—and I LOVE to honor and amplify the ways we are embracing our humanness, showing up fully in the world, and utilizing our relationships and communities to heal and experience joy. I'm SO happy you're here with me.

If you'd like to request a topic for a future episode or ask a question, you can leave a message for me here via Speakpipe!

To schedule a 1:1 consult with me, you can reach out here!

For more information about my work:

Blog

Coaching

Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples

In this episode of Becoming Relational, we explore shame, self abandonment, and how breaking people-pleasing patterns can transform your relationships. I'm sharing honestly about something that took me years to understand: how shame and self abandonment are deeply connected. I explore my own experience of hitting rock bottom and the slow, sometimes painful journey of finding my way back to myself. We talk about how so many of us have been socialized to put everyone else first, why the word "selfish" can feel the worst thing you could be called, and what it actually takes to stop abandoning yourself in relationships. I also open up about how changing my own patterns shifted the way others showed up for me — and why I believe that's worth every bit of discomfort along the way.

Come Home to Yourself: Healing from Self-Abandonment

BECOMING RELATIONAL MINI-GUIDE

About me: I'm a therapist and community member on my own healing journey—and I LOVE to honor and amplify the ways we are embracing our humanness, showing up fully in the world, and utilizing our relationships and communities to heal and experience joy. I'm SO happy you're here with me.

If you'd like to request a topic for a future episode or ask a question, you can leave a message for me here via Speakpipe!

To schedule a 1:1 consult with me, reach out here!

For more information about my work:

Blog

Coaching

Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples

Self-abandonment, people-pleasing, insecure attachment—in this episode, I'm exploring a pattern I see every single day in my therapy and coaching practice, and one I've struggled with myself.

I'm talking about the painful cycle of choosing someone else's comfort over your own, repeatedly pushing down your desires to keep the peace, and staying in relationships that don't work for you because self-betrayal feels easier than speaking your truth.

For years, I abandoned myself without even realizing it. I worked hard to please others because I believed if they were okay, I would be okay too. But I learned the hard way that prioritizing other people's needs over my own (especially for those of us with the anxious attachment style) leads to resentment, anger, and losing ourselves completely.

In this episode, I share the crucial difference between being flexible and actually betraying your values. I help you understand why being well-liked never satisfies our deeper need to be truly seen, appreciated, and valued. And I invite you to identify the people who love you for exactly who you are—these are the ones worth holding onto.

If you're ready to stop abandoning yourself, create genuine connection, and become deeply aware of your own desires, I hope you'll tune in.

Come Home to Yourself: Healing from Self-Abandonment

BECOMING RELATIONAL MINI-GUIDE

About me: I'm a therapist and community member on my own healing journey—and I LOVE to honor and amplify the ways we are embracing our humanness, showing up fully in the world, and utilizing our relationships and communities to heal and experience joy. I'm SO happy you're here with me.

If you'd like to request a topic for a future episode or ask a question, you can leave a message for me here via Speakpipe!

To schedule a 1:1 consult with me, reach out here!

Blog

Coaching

Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples

Today, I'm sharing about my personal journey with self-worth and confidence, and how attachment theory has supported me in navigating unworthiness and insecurity. I've been wrestling with feelings of unworthiness lately, a familiar struggle with believing that I belong and that what I offer truly matters. If you've ever felt like you're not enough or wondered how to show up authentically when self-doubt takes hold, I hope this episode supports you. I explore the transformative question that changed everything, shared with me by a former therapist. I also offer practical strategies for building self-trust from the inside out, setting healthy boundaries, recognizing when we're seeking external validation to fill internal emptiness, and cultivating the self-compassion and emotional security we all deserve.

BECOMING RELATIONAL MINI-GUIDE

About me: I'm a therapist and community member on my own healing journey—and I LOVE to honor and amplify the ways we are embracing our humanness, showing up fully in the world, and utilizing our relationships and communities to heal and experience joy. I'm SO happy you're here with me.

If you'd like to request a topic for a future episode or ask a question, you can leave a message for me here via Speakpipe!

To schedule a 1:1 consult with me, reach out here!

For more information about my work:

Blog

Coaching

Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples

Today I'm exploring relationship repair, secure attachment, and relationship disconnection—and why investing in the relationships you already have, rather than constantly searching for something new, might be the most revolutionary choice you can make. Let's discuss how to navigate relationship disconnection, practice intentional repair, and build resilient, secure relationships through accountability and compassion.

I share why I believe that in our culture of fast fashion and dating apps, choosing to mend our relationships—rather than discard them—is a powerful counter-cultural choice. We'll talk about rupture and repair in relationships, how to strengthen your secure attachment muscles, and the reflection questions that can help you show up as your best self in all your meaningful connections.

My hope is that this conversation is an invitation to slow down, invest your energy wisely, and create the kind of relational security that fosters trust and resilience. Come cozy up with me and let's talk about what it really means to become relational.

About me: I'm a therapist and community member on my own healing journey—and I LOVE to honor and amplify the ways we are embracing our humanness, showing up fully in the world, and utilizing our relationships and communities to heal and experience joy. I'm SO happy you're here with me.

Rupture and Repair Bundle

If you'd like to request a topic for a future episode or ask a question, you can leave a message for me here via Speakpipe!

To schedule a 1:1 consult with me, reach out here!

For more information about my work:

Blog

Coaching

Attachment Theory Workbook for Couples