Becoming Your Own Best Friend | Randy Haveson

Strategies for Boosting Self-Esteem

“Explosive Success Doesn’t Happen Overnight.” Gary Tuerack (18:54-19:02)

Today, Randy Haveson invited his friend Gary Tuerack over for an interview. He is the founder of the National Society Of Leadership And Success. They’ve known each other for twenty years and have lot of similarities. In this episode, they share their life stories about where they came from and where they are today. Stay tuned as they discuss their strategies for boosting self-esteem.

Part One of ‘Strategies for Boosting Self-Esteem’

Several years ago, Gary went to Randy to share an amazing idea. He wanted to handle an organization that focuses on leadership for college students. When he laid out the framework, Randy got impressed. There were a couple of people who didn’t believe in his vision. But it didn’t stop him to follow his dreams and today he has touched over a million lives.

“Words of affirmation have the incredible power to change your whole life.” - Gary (05:30-06:11)

This is one of the many struggles a lot of people are facing today. We all have those times where we gathered ourselves and doubted what our worth was. So many people try to fit into the norms of this society because they don’t feel good about who they are. The good thing about struggling is that it takes you to a place where you realize you have to have to step up. It pushes you to go out of your comfort zone. 

When Gary was in middle school, he got bullied by someone who happens to be bigger than him. He attended a jujitsu class to build his confidence and self-esteem in case the kid attacks him. One thing he loved about it is that he learned lessons about life other than jujitsu. There was this one simple but powerful exercise that changed his entire life and the way he sees himself.

If you want to feel different about yourself, you need to change your choice of words. You need to come up with words that will build up your self-confidence. 

That’s right! If you want others to believe in you, you should be the first person to believe in yourself. Gary practiced this habit of looking at yourself in the mirror on a daily basis. Then he comes up with words of affirmation that he could tell himself over and over. At first, it feels awkward and you feel like nothing is happening. The reason behind it is you don’t believe in yourself but that’s okay. Keep doing it many times as much as possible. 

Part Two of ‘Strategies for Boosting Self-Esteem’

Whatever words you come up with, keep telling that to yourself. It’s like you’re trying to convince yourself even if you don’t believe it. We are all a work in progress so even if it takes years, that’s alright. You will notice some significant transition as you keep on doing this. Once you have learned this habit, it will help build your self-esteem big time. 

“Success isn’t just about the revenue, it’s about the lasting positive change you make in this world.” - Gary (13:39-13:46)

There was a time when Gary was growing his business, he was losing sight of why he wanted to do what he’s doing now. He went back to his habit of saying words of affirmation. That was the game-changer for him because that’s been part of a recipe for his success.  

How to Get Involved

Hitting the stage internationally, Randy is a welcomed speaker that exudes raw energy fueled magnetic charisma and the relatability of a best friend. He helps audiences around the country and the world finds their paths in life and learn the self-esteem building skills necessary to be positive, productive, and fulfilled members of society. Find out more about his speaking and consulting firm that helps businesses, schools and individuals address topics such as: self-esteem, alcohol & other drugs, leadership development, and more. https://randyspeaks.com/

Overcome Low Self-Esteem

“Sometimes You Have to Take Small Steps to Overcome Your Giants” -Randy Haveson (03:15-03:21)

Overcoming low self-esteem is a process. Many people are not nourishing their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects altogether. Which, can lead to low self-esteem. This creates a negative impact on behavior and life choices. In this episode, Randy Haveson talks about how you can overcome low self-esteem.

Part One of ‘Overcome Low Self-Esteem’

Not everyone is born with high self-esteem. Try not to overcomplicate the process. We are all a work in progress. It is a journey of discovery about yourself. It takes a lot of evaluation before you figure out who you are and what you’re meant to deliver in this world.

“Find something that works for you because what works for you might not work for others.” – Randy Haveson (05:32-05:38)

To improve self-esteem, take time for physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness. This will help you feel better about who you are. Also, pay attention to your energy level, the quality of your sleep and your food intake. To nourish your physical body, you may replace soda with water, switch from junk food to salad, and get involved in sports activities. This will decrease the risk of developing certain diseases. Make slow changes over time so that you will be able to have a healthier lifestyle later down the road.

Now to strengthen your mental aspect, it would take a lot of learning. You may consider reading and writing crossword puzzles and sudoku. Or reading books with incredible content that resonates to who you are and the things you love to do.

One of the most critical parts of strengthening your mental wellness is to actually give it a rest.

Many workaholics don’t take the time to breathe and take a break. Find ways that are going to stimulate your brain and not go brain dead. Take time for the small things in life. Explore galleries, watch movies, go on vacation and many more.

Part Two of ‘Overcome Low Self-Esteem’

The toughest one that you have to take time to nourish is your emotional self. If you don’t know how to handle your emotions the right way, it can cause you some damage. And part of raising self-esteem is to become more comfortable with your feelings. So, that you are able to express them in a healthy way. It is like learning to ride a bike for the first time. Take it slow, consider writing in a journal and try to find someone you can talk to. Find a coach, a therapist or a friend that you can trust and talk to about your feelings.

“Find a safe place where you can start to identify and feel your feelings and do it slowly.” - Randy Haveson. (17:42-17:48)

Until you know your hurt and your sadness, you're not going to know your joy and your happiness. So, feelings are like a rainbow. You don't ever see half the colors of a rainbow. You either see the whole thing or you see nothing. Feelings make us feel raw and vulnerable. You're going to feel better about yourself when you have a handle on your emotional side.

How to Get Involved

Are you struggling with low self-esteem? Randy can help! Contact Randy at https://randyspeaks.com/contact/

Randy is a welcomed speaker that exudes raw energy fueled magnetic charisma and the relatability of a best friend. He helps audiences around the country find their path in life.

Find out more about his speaking and consulting firm that helps businesses, schools and individuals address topics such as: self-esteem, alcohol & other drugs, leadership development, and more. www.randyspeaks.com

Ego Versus Healthy Self-Esteem

“When You’re Happy with Who You Are, What Other People Think of You Is None of Your Business.” -Randy Haveson (09:24-09:31)

Our society tends to link ego and self-esteem together but they’re actually on opposite sides of a continuum. As you begin this journey, the essential thing is knowing which direction you’re pointed in. In this episode, Randy Haveson talks about how you can move towards a healthier sense of self-esteem and away from the devastating effects of ego. 

Part One of ‘Ego Versus Healthy Self-Esteem’

There will always be people who are taller, faster and smarter than you. A lot of people are locked in a cage of comparison without realizing this rips their self-esteem apart until nothing is left. Comparing ourselves with other people just puts ourselves at a disadvantage because no matter which way we go, we lose. Are you taking time to reflect on whether you’re reinforcing self-esteem or ego?

“Ego can be stolen, but confidence is earned.” — Randy Haveson (02:06-02:39)

The ego is very fragile. It has all the external things that are supposed to make us who we are, such as a number on a scale, basically all of the outside things. When we define ourselves by those external things, life can be fragile because any of those things change or disappear. As a result, our sense of worth disappears. We can give people ego, we can take the ego away and it's by altering those external things that can alter someone's ego. But on the other hand, self-esteem is not something you can take away from someone or something you can give to someone. 

For example, if you’re an author, you should feel grateful for the opportunity to be given the gift to transmit a message that seems to really resonate with people’s frequency and being exactly the same person even if you sell ten million bucks. If you are ego-based, your ego will be based on how many books you sell. If all of a sudden, book sales drop off, you will feel fragile because you allowed those things to define you. There are many people who have so much money but they’re just not happy with who they are. On the other hand, others are close to the poverty line but they’re happy with the overall quality of their life. They’re grateful for the things they have in their lives. There are also people who have a lot of money and very high self-esteem, but they don’t base their worth on how much money they have. It’s how much they can be of service to others and make the world a better place.

The amount of money you have does not determine your sense of worth. But for many people, this becomes an ego trap.

Self-esteem is solid. If there comes a time you fail at something, your self-esteem will take you from being humiliated to being humbled, focusing on the positive side of things and how you can be better rather than repeatedly complaining and getting affected by all the bad things that are apparently uncontrollable. It’s about learning how to rise from the ashes when things just fall apart, it’s time to pick ourselves back up and move forward and do the next thing. See where life takes us and enjoy the ride. Life turns out pretty wonderful when you act out of esteem and not ego.

Part Two of ‘Ego Versus Healthy Self-Esteem’

People get made fun of for various reasons such as being thin, overweight, too tall and majority is related to the outside appearance and status. This world would be a better place if we no longer compare ourselves with other people and judge others according to the shallow norms of this society. But at the same time, self-esteem does not translate to being cocky. You don’t have to be anything to anybody except be true to yourself. When you can do that for yourself, think about how much easier life is going to get. 

“It’s in the difficult moments that your gratitude is tested.” – Randy Haveson (15:56-15:59)

Knowing the difference between self-esteem and ego helps you find that way to move forward with strength and confidence. And when you care less about what other people think of you, you grow as an individual and you build your self-esteem maybe not instantly but one step at a time. It’s about what we are doing to make our lives better, to be better people and to be of service to others. Serving others could be doing little things like opening the door for someone or helping someone carry a heavy package. It’s been proven and tested that when you serve others, you feel so much better. As a result, you will start to see the positive things in life, and you will find more things to be grateful about. If you’re the kind of person who constantly find reasons to be grateful for, you’re going to be happier and find more value in yourself. 

How to Get Involved

Hitting the stage internationally, Randy is a welcomed speaker that exudes raw energy fueled magnetic charisma and the relatability of a best friend. He helps audiences around the country and the world find their paths in life and learn the self-esteem building skills necessary to be positive, productive, and fulfilled members of society. Find out more about his speaking and consulting firm that helps businesses, schools and individuals address topics such as self-esteem, alcohol & other drugs, leadership development, and more. randyspeaks.com 

How Self-Esteem Can Be Improved

“You Are Either Putting Something into The World or You’re Taking Something Out of The World.” -Randy Haveson (13:46-13:49)

Many people don’t realize that low self-esteem can harm their mental health which often leads to anxiety and depression. That’s why it’s essential to take good care of our emotional, psychological and social well-being. In this episode, Randy Haveson shares meaningful guidelines on how self-esteem can be improved.

Part One of ‘How Self-Esteem Can Be Improved’

When it comes to building and enhancing your self-esteem, it’s more about finding what works for you and resonating with what harmonizes for you. Try to focus on the things that are within your control and see what you can do about them. As much as possible, spend time doing the things that you love. 

“Find that attitude of gratitude and find at least one thing every day to be grateful for.”  - Randy Haveson (02:55-03:00)

Gratitude is one of the ingredients to enhance your self-esteem. When we take time to find things to be grateful for, and we feel better about where we fit in the world and who we are as an individual, we find more self-value.  Even being thankful for the simple things like the gift of a new day helps you move up that continuum towards a high sense of self-esteem. If you can find multiple things that are better, the more you have in your life to be grateful for, the better you’re going to be. 

As you’re on this path and you’re starting to consciously work towards building self-esteem, it’s important to be gentle with yourself. The way we talk about ourselves can be very damaging.  So, the trick to this is to start treating yourself like your own best friend and being gentle with yourself as you’re making these changes. There’s no shortcut to building your self-esteem. You’re going to fall as you go through the process but each small step that you take has the power to turn you into something better than you were before. So find those things that are going to help you to make those small changes over time so that you can build towards having the life that you want to have like you are your own best friend rather than your worst enemy.  

Small steps will help you continuously improve, and you’ll be surprised how far you went to where you used to be.

Self-esteem gives you that sense of inner stability. If you know and love yourself and you know what you’re capable of, you won’t feel the need to seek validation and approval of other people. Your focus shifts and self-defeating thoughts will not overpower you.  

Part Two of ‘How Self-Esteem Can Be Improved’

Look for ways to be of serving in your daily life and it doesn’t have to be a huge thing. We’re talking about the small things you can do to make the world a better place. It’s a good idea to make a lot of deposits so that when you need to make a withdrawal, there’s plenty there for you. 

“Finding ways to be of service is a universal way to improve self-esteem.” – Randy Haveson (11:47-11:52)

It could be little things like opening the door for somebody or helping someone to carry their heavy package. If you can bigger things where you think you can be of service, then that’s great. But you must realize that it all boils down to realizing that having the heart to serve is simply just looking for ways throughout the day to help somebody else out. It’s so easy nowadays to get wrapped in what’s in it for me than trying to do something that will help you step out of your comfort zone. And what this does is that it helps you think less about yourself and more about others. If you want to serve others, you must be completely selfless. By improving other people’s lives, you start seeing that you are capable of much more than you imagined. And that’s a good place to discover more things you can contribute to our society.

How to Get Involved

Hitting the stage internationally, Randy is a welcomed speaker that exudes raw energy fueled magnetic charisma and the relatability of a best friend. He helps audiences around the country and the world finds their paths in life and learn the self-esteem building skills necessary to be positive, productive, and fulfilled members of society. Find out more about his speaking and consulting firm that helps businesses, schools and individuals address topics such as self-esteem, alcohol & other drugs, leadership development, and more. https://randyspeaks.com/

Why Is Self Esteem Important?

“No One Can Take Away Your Self-Esteem Unless You Let Them.” - Randy Haveson (14:57-15:01)

Many people struggle with building a strong foundation for real growth and happiness. In this week’s episode, Randy Haveson gives us an engaging phenomenon of becoming your own best friend. 

Part One of ‘Becoming Your Own Best Friend’

One of the most common misconceptions about life is that titles, wealth and material possessions translate to who we are which is a total opposite of reality. All of us had our fair share of early childhood experiences that immensely contributed to how we perceive ourselves. Many of us have all felt out of place at some point. Whether you’re someone who spends your daily life on the campus or in business settings, it’s possible for you to become a more fulfilled member of our society and build lasting self-esteem.

“Our true character becomes developed when we walk through the things in life that are difficult.” – Randy Haveson (3:19-3:23)

No matter how low your life has gotten, you can still turn it around and it’s never too late. The trials you have experienced in the past are preparing you for a great destiny that’s waiting for you. If you choose to step outside of your comfort zone and constantly say yes to self-development, you can make it to wherever it is that you want to be. You are a work in progress and outcome of years of life-changing experiences with values and lessons that help you build your self-esteem. Life can be crappy sometimes but it’s about learning how to wade through that. 

You may have experienced a lot of failures in your life, but it all boils down to remind yourself that those things don’t define you, instead, they should refine you. Our society continues to impose wrong ideas about what self-esteem is supposed to be. You could also meet a lot of people who live in mansions but completely miserable with the quality of their lives. On the other hand, there are those who live in tribal villages with dirt floors, no shoes and hardly acquired anything because they don’t let any material possessions define their contentment.  

If ever you feel lost, remember that there’s a special place in this world where you perfectly fit in.

There are too many people out there who want to put on the show, convince you to spend billions of dollars on things that would only give you a temporary sense of satisfaction but then it leaves you wanting more. Sometimes we get to read books that just don’t resonate with us for some reason, like strangers who didn’t click on their first meet. If you treat yourself like your own best friend, you will feel better about who you are. You will raise your self-esteem; you will find that all your amazing gifts are going to start to come into your life and you will start discovering places where you’re meant to fit in. Lastly, you will be set free from the bounds of social norms. 

Part Two of ‘Becoming Your Own Best Friend’

Self-esteem is on the inside. Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself first thing in the morning, looking at yourself in the mirror. How do you feel about that person looking back at you? That is your level of self-esteem.

“Believing in yourself and surrounding yourself with people who believe in you makes anything unbelievably possible.” – Randy Haveson (20:08-20:15)

So, it’s about finding things that harmonize with your frequency and find those books, speakers, movies, and anything that resonates with you. Focus on those who are eager to help you build your self-esteem. It’s the most important thing we have because it’s ours. You can’t give it to anyone, and you can’t take it away from anyone not unless you give someone the power to destroy it. The choice is yours to make.

How to Get Involved

Hitting the stage internationally, Randy is a welcomed speaker that exudes raw energy fueled magnetic charisma and the relatability of a best friend. He helps audiences around the country and the world finds their paths in life and learns the self-esteem building skills necessary to be positive, productive, and fulfilled members of society. Find out more about his speaking and consulting firm that helps businesses, schools and individuals address topics such as self-esteem, alcohol & other drugs, leadership development, and more. https://randyspeaks.com/contact/