Before I Go ...

By the time this episode airs, I will be more than 200 days into my journey of alcohol freedom. Yay me! It is worth mentioning that this also marks my first winter without alcohol which means I am experiencing seasonal depression without alcohol.

So, how am I feeling?

I can’t lie … not great.

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I am not a relationship expert by any stretch of the imagination. However, I have seen and ignored my fair share of red flags and one thing I know for sure – ignoring the flags does not make them go away. Ignoring them just makes a bad situation worse. Unlike wine, red flags do not get better with age.

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Being intentional is not always easy, however, I feel if you can train yourself to look at the bigger picture it will be less challenging.

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One of my favorite ways to journal is the simple stream of consciousness. Just writing down whatever thoughts come to mind. It’s a really good way to just clear your mind of cobwebs. Just get it out there.

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Is there really still a stigma associated with being divorced?

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Opening your mouth does not make you weak. It makes you human. And I’m telling you, more times than not you will find that the people in your life want to help you. They want the best for you. Think of it as a form of self-care. You’ve been carrying that load alone for far too long. Ask for help and be brave enough to accept the help.

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I think as women we want to appear accommodating, or pleasant or flexible or whatever adjective that fits the scenario because if we don’t, we become fearful that we’ll be labeled difficult or angry or that we won’t be loved and we all want to be loved.

There is nothing wrong with that. However, if I have learned anything it is that denying who you are in order to get love is a recipe for heartbreak and disappointment. If you are sending in your representative and the person falls for that representative where does that leave you? The real you?

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It is that time of year again. The time of year where we start thinking about the new year and our expectations regarding what is to come. I know for me, last year I had no expectations at all. After 2020, I was pessimistic about setting goals. I just wanted to stay healthy, I wanted my family to stay healthy and that was it. This year, I am starting to feel a little more optimistic about the future and I am not afraid to look ahead.

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Here’s the thing, I spent seven years in an emotionally abusive relationship because I had no boundaries. Consequently, I spent the following six years behind a wall trying to heal from that nonsense. And I have spent the last five or so years establishing boundaries that allow people in while simultaneously protecting my peace of mind.

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I know I’m not the only one who feels some type of way during this time of year. Maybe it’s not seasonal depression. Maybe you’ve lost a loved one, maybe you’re far away from family and friends, maybe you’ve experienced a breakup – whatever it is, it’s important to recognize and identify what you are feeling and make a plan to deal with those feelings.

Contact: Email - [email protected] or Instagram - @_michele_matthews