I remember always feeling like I wasn’t good enough. Later I didn’t feel energized enough to take control of the rollercoaster of emotions.

Kept hearing it but never seeing it.

You love them but they only know how to love themselves. A vicious cycle.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/31/if-i-get-distant-its-because-you-didnt-keep-me-close/

I learned that for me to feel much better about my free time it would require more effort to achieve balance.

That balance was in learning to manage time better. It required boundaries and non-negotiables put in place so I could lose the irritation and angry outbursts that were stemmed from the guilt I felt for not following through on my needs and of the things that I knew would come to bear fruit.

It was like realizing why my plants kept dying, I kept not watering them! Growth required watering consistently. Every time I skipped on it, I was killing it.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/30/not-doing-enough/

I share my stories because I want you to know that you are not alone in how you feel. I have been there, done that. I know what it feels like. I know exactly what it’s like to be the weird one. the odd one. the crazy one. the broken one. Stuck between doing too much and not enough. I want to let you know that you can come out on the other side and make it.

I became better because of it. Where I stand today is a really good place. Nothing and no one can take away the gems of knowledge and wisdom I have picked up along the way.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/29/win-in-your-heart-first/

When you no longer split your flow of energy with contradictory thoughts

I seeked God for years. I wasn’t living in a way that would tell you that but there were moments where I cried out to him. I felt so far off from the picture of someone who loves God was suppose to look like but today I could tell you that he loved me anyway.

My faith is what had me call out to him but there were things I would do because of my fears. One of those fears was experiencing disloyalty again. I feared being lied to and what I call scammed.So I would try to control things. I would limit how much I invested and how much I believed someone’s words. I never wanted to be blind sided again. When it came to do dating I would try and get answers anyway I could. Whatever they told me didn’t count. I had made up my mind long ago that I wouldn’t give anyone that much credibility.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/29/faith-and-fear-both-demand-you-believe-in-something-you-cannot-see-you-choose-1/

I woke up this morning with a grateful heart. Lately, I’m remembering more and more to count my blessings which I’m happy to say that it is making me realize more of what I have. One of my biggest fears has always been that I would realize it too late and I thank God for opening my eyes and making my heart desire things that I feel are better for me. I’m learning to cherish people and things around me.

Right now I feel like I’m getting closer and closer to the things I want. I just have had a few set backs which at times bother me a little bit. Today is a new day and I plan to take advantage of it. One of my goals is to stop giving negative things a voice. I feel I was starting to form a bad habit of that. At the end of the day, that’s not who I want to be or what I want to represent.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/28/leave-the-old-grab-the-new/

How many times do we say the things that we wish we could take back? Not so much what we say, but how we say them. In moments like that it seems to probably be the worst time to have said what we said. Maybe we were meaning to, but it just came out wrong. Said it wrong, wrong time, wrong way.

Why writing it out helps.

You’re able to figure out patterns. Gives you data that you can measure. Helps you get past your perspective. Allows you to develop a new plan. Tracks it all. Creates awareness. Relieves stress. You could see patterns clearly. You can see how far you have come. Clarity.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/28/run-out-of-paper-not-patience/

I’ve had my moments to say the least. Free bird. but all those moments came at a cost. Learning to count the cost of my decisions has been a journey. The things God shows me when there are lessons to be learned. So many things he teaches me along the way and I have found out that his way is always the better way.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/26/wild-child/

Order is never observed: it is disorder that attracts attention because it is awkward and intrusive “- Eliphas Levi

Yup. Black sheep.

Always drawing attention to myself for the wrong things.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/25/didnt-know-then-but-i-know-now/

With every trial, every error, every heartbreak, I let the parts in me that allowed it.. to die. I gave life to other things, better things. I wish I could say it came easy but the truth is that some of those times when I knew I needed to let go, I still wanted to hold on.

Remembering how God got me out the emotional mess that I was in was the process that helped me break through every time.

He showed me how to pick my life back up again but this time I was a different me. I am a little wiser, a little stronger, a little better because of it.

I think that’s what he meant when said beauty for ashes.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/24/shes-gone-2/

When something ends and after I grieve it, I ask myself, I wonder who I am going to be after this? Until I can look back at this moment with strength, I wait it out.

Who I rise as is always worth the old me that I bury. Though I feel so deeply and when things end I feel like it kills me a little bit, re-building my world is my favorite thing to do.

After my ex, the girl he knew was no longer. I learned what loyalty means on a deeper level. Because of what I experienced, it gave me a new non-negotiable. If I can’t trust you, I can’t love you. After betrayal in friendships, I learned the art of privacy. Not everyone around me needs to know of the blessings that I hold dear to my heart. Somethings are worth keeping sacred. In giving too much, I learned to draw the line when my giving was being taken for granted. So I raised my standard for the person I was going to be and for the people I was going to keep around me.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/24/shes-gone/