Joe and Tara are stopping in to wish and your family a Merry Christmas and to share about where they find joy when Christmas isn't everything we're dreaming it should be. We hope you and your family are enjoying a joyous and hope-filled Christmas season.  

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To quote C.S. Lewis, “The central miracle asserted by Christians is the Incarnation. They say that God became Man.”   At the heart of the Christmas story is the “word becoming flesh” and without that first miracle, the rest of the story doesn’t matter! In this week’s episode we talk about the significance of that primary miracle and our place in that story. 

Read more of Lewis’ thoughts on the incarnation:

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Are you so excited it’s Christmas?  Will you get to see family?”  Have you ever wanted to answer: well, it’s complicated. The holiday season can be a magnifying glass to whatever joys and hurts you’re experiencing in your life.  For many people, it is a time that can be isolating and painful.  So even though the reason for the season hasn’t changed, our circumstances and feelings around it can vary widely. In this week’s episode, we talk about how Christmas has been complicated for us and how we navigate our differing emotions. 

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One common source of marital contention is when one spouse is more interested in being on time than the other.   This simple difference can end up adding more tension to already stressful days.  In this episode, we share about growing love and unity even when we’re running late! 

 If you’re not 15 minutes early, you’re late.  That’s what they say, and I agree with them!  I really don’t like being late.  I’m sure some of that is a combination of some “fomo” plus I do like to respect people’s plans by being there at start time.   I can relax and feel less stressed when I’m early. 

But Joe doesn’t have the same dedication to being early.  He wants to be on time in a general sense. But he’s not going to hurry like a crazy person to make it happen. He’s the slow and steady, check-double-check kind of guy.  Everyone chill, we’ll get there when we get there.

No surprise that those differences cause conflict for us on those days we have somewhere to be.  Who’s right?   And how do we keep that conflict from hurting our marriage?

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Do you ever feel like you deserve more than you’re currently getting in your marriage?  Look at the facts, it’s in the contract, I’m getting the short end of the stick and deserve just a little more.   Even though marriage involves a promise and even a legal document, feeling entitled will destroy the intimacy and connection in marriage.  In this episode, we share how we’re growing true gratitude in our marriage by eliminating the phrase, “I deserve”.

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Have you ever thought, I don’t deserve this?  When you have experienced pain and suffering, you are often quick to think, I deserve better.  But the more we feel entitled to the good things that God has for us, the less we can truly appreciate them. In this week’s episode we share how understanding God’s grace and mercy helps move us to a place of true gratitude. 

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Have you ever just wanted to be given the benefit of the doubt?   It feels awful when someone, especially your spouse, assumes the worst of you in a doubtful or unclear situation.  When it’s assumed that our intentions are off,  we get defensive and less likely to offer grace in return. This week we’re sharing how we’re learning to give each other benefit of the doubt and how to grow in grace in your marriage.  

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Behind Our Smiles just celebrated three years of podcasting! And over 160 episodes!!  Many listeners have asked us if we enjoy podcasting together (we do!) and where we find our topics for each episode.  This week we’re giving you a behind the scenes look at our podcast- how we plan our episodes and why we love spending time with you each week!  Thank you so much for listening these past three years! 

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By this time in an elections season, we can become worn out from all the divisive rhetoric both from the politicians and their followers. Sometimes it makes you want to scream, can’t we all just get along?  Why is everyone talking and no one actually listening?  We can have similar issues in our marriages and relationships, where we become more and more polarized when someone doesn’t agree with us. Then we can fall into the same trap of divisive rhetoric and me-vs-you language that makes unity impossible. In this episode we share how we can find unity and consensus in our marriage so that we both win. 

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 As adults we may not dress up in costumes as often as our kids do.  But we do wear our own kinds of masks that keeps people from seeing who we really are.   In this week’s episode we’re sharing how to live without the masks and have more authenticity in our marriage.

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