To join the community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

To join the community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

If there's one thing that can make you grow up real quick, take some responsibility and accountability and make you feel like you just went from a boy to a man, it's fatherhood.

It's one of those defining moments in the life of a man when many around you think to themselves "okay, now he's man."

I mean, what better way to prove to yourself and to the world that you are a worthy and capable man--a man that is ready to provide, protect and preside--than becoming a man who is now responsible for a another human being?

That is the situation my guest James G Hopper found himself in at the tender age of 19. Heck, at 19, many young men aren't even considered "real men" yet according to society's standards. Imagine being a young man trying to figure out your manhood and your own place in the world and from one day to the next, you're responsible for being an example of a man to a child.

James was a bright young star of an athlete from a very young age. He had dreams of becoming a professional athlete and those dreams and talent led him to a college football career. But, early on in his college career, he was hit with an unexpected surprise... fatherhood. Now he had the arduous task of balancing school, football, fatherhood and his relationship. It was tough to say the least.

Although he made it through and graduated with a Masters in Higher Education and an Undergrad in Human Development, he found himself in the corporate world just going through the motions, feeling unfulfilled and looking for a change.

Listen in to find out the changes he made and how fatherhood and his sons helped him figure out who he is, why he's doing what he doing and how he's working every day to become a better man for himself, his children and all the men he works with.

James is a life coach--working specifically with men, athletes and fathers--and the creator and founder of The Gentleman Strategist, where he helps men sharpen men. He is also the co-founder of The Gentleman's Pursuit to Success, helping men find their own version of success.

To join the community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

Heartbreak, failure, loss, trauma... we've all been through at least one, if not all, of these at one point of our lives or another. It's just life, it's part of being human.

We're flawed, we're imperfect and we can't predict the future so it's inevitable that sooner or later we're going to run into some kind of setback.

For many--myself included--these bumps in the road can feel more like being buried by an avalanche of emotions that we will never, ever recover from. We feel like we might as well make ourselves a cramped little igloo in the snow to live out the rest of our lives. For Many of us, these events feel so devastating that we let them define us for the rest of our lives.

"I'm a loser... I'm a failure... I'm a divorcee... I'm unworthy... I'm not good enough... I'm a wimp..." and the list goes on and on.

But the good news, whether you believe it or not, is that we don't have to let these things define us. We can just view them as the one time incidents that they are, no matter how bad they may seem, but not as defining moments of our character and self-worth.

Join me as I sit down with John Kim a.k.a. The Angry Therapist for a conversation about his story and how he learned to re-define who he thought he was and who he thought he was supposed to be by finding the courage to face his fears, doubts and insecurities.

John Kim is a licensed therapist who shifted gears by thinking outside the box of practical therapy and has become a leading pioneer in the online life coaching movement. He has built a company called JRNI from the ground up where he and his team are creating new ways to help people help people.

To join the community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected]  or Instagram Me

There are many examples and adjectives in our culture that define what it means to be a "real man". We see it all over TV, movies and social media.

But two words that stand out the most to me and seem to be the most prevalent are courageous and fearless. Everywhere you turn to see an example of what we categorize as a real man, you see a man who isn't afraid of anything and who never cowers in the face of any challenge.

And that's great, being courageous and fearless aren't characteristics to sneeze at, they're very virtuous. But, I'm here to tell you that courage and fearlessness don't go together. In fact, putting them together is paradoxical and oxymoronic.

You see, to be courageous, according to the dictionary, is defined as: having the quality of mind that enables a person to face difficulty, danger and pain. It says nothing about the absence of fear. Without fear there is no courage. If you're doing something worthwhile and you're not even a little fearful, is it really courageous?

Join me as I sit down with Chris Lee Wilson for a deep conversation about fear and courage. Chris is the co-founder of The Unshakable Man, where their mission is to serve men by providing resources and services to connect men to themselves, their important relationships, and their purpose in life.

Chris has extensive experience as an elite athlete, a sales executive and a business and life coach. After graduating from high school, he raced international triathlons and had dreams of racing bicycles in Europe... until that dream came to a crashing end at the age of 22. He was launched into the workforce with no college degree and no clear direction or purpose.

Through this adversity is how he came to find his calling and purpose.

To join the conversation and be part of the community:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

Sports--baseball, basketball, football, hockey, soccer, tennis, golf--they're all around us. Well, not so much now with this Coronavirus pandemic going on.

Athletes are like gods to some of us. We study their every move, on the field and off the field, in order to model ourselves and our games after them in the hopes that we too will some day rise to the ranks of their greatness. We idolize them for their athleticism, physicality, determination, grit, motivation and work ethic.

But, what we rarely stop to think about is all the sacrifice, hard work, blood, sweat, tears and FAILURE that goes on behind the scenes that leads to their ultimate success.

We view these athletes as superhuman creatures who are different than us and are immune to the daily struggles us of mere mortals... but nothing could be further from the truth.

Join me as I sit down with Pierce Brooks--former basketball stud who had visions of playing in the NBA, scouts coming to his games, college coaches offering him scholarships as a high school freshman--as he opens up about going from feeling like he's on top of the basketball world to wanting nothing more than to put his career behind him.

Pierce is an empowerment speaker giving practical solutions for people to find meaning and lessons from trauma. He has transformed his career experience at CPG Brands and sports entertainment firms into a foundation for helping people across the professional and personal spectrum.

To join the community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

Words. They can be so powerful. Whether negatively or positively.

Sometimes we throw them around without a care or worry for who we hurt, other times we use them to let the people that we love know exactly how we feel.

Sometimes, those words can be hurled at ourselves, driving us to think, say and do things to ourselves and about ourselves that we wouldn't even dream of doing to our own worst enemies.

Words have power beyond just mere letters and sounds strung together. They have the power to describe those emotions that we are feeling deep down inside in order to communicate them with the world, in the hopes that we and whoever else hears them may feel a little less alone.

Join me as I sit down with my guest, Kevin Whitehead, a songwriter and wordsmith, who uses his words from his life and his experiences to express and communicate just what he feels. From the love and pain of his first relationship, to the struggle with depression and thoughts of suicide.

To join the community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Page

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

How well do you know yourself? When someone asks you who you are or tell them a little about yourself, what do you say?

Not your job, not your title, not your salary, not your awards, not the size of your house, not your possessions, not the vacations you take... but who are YOU deep down?

When all that stuff is stripped away and it's just you standing there figuratively naked with nothing outside of yourself to define you, who are you?

I had to go through this tough task of figuring out who I really am, and to be honest I'm still going through it, although I have made some major progress.

When my baseball career came to an end though, I had no idea who I was, I had no idea what my purpose was, I had no idea what the meaning of life was if I wasn't holding a baseball in my hands. To say it was a struggle to figure it out is an understatement.

Join me on this solo episode as I open up about losing my identity and the journey to rediscover it.

To join the community an be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

We're in it folks! A pandemic. It's here, it's real, it's going to leave such an impact--physically, mentally, emotionally, economically, socially--that it will be something we'll never forget for the rest of our lives.

But, just because it will have such an impact, doesn't mean there aren't little steps we can take to minimize that impact, protect ourselves and protect those around us and essentially the world as a whole.

Join Dr. Roy Vongtama and I as we sit down for this very timely conversation on Coronavirus/Covid-19. He gives us vital information that we can use to give ourselves and our loved ones the best possible chance of making sure we're as safe as we can be, whether we contract the virus or not.

We also discuss many myths that are going around the internet and social media and figuring out which are fake news, which are backed up by evidence and which still can't be determined because scientists, doctors and researchers need more time.

Dr. Roy is a Board Certified Cancer Specialist with degrees in Biological Basis of Behavior from the University of Pennsylvania, a Medical Doctorate from the University of Buffalo, and a residency at UCLA. His work includes authorship in 14 peer-reviewed scientific papers, hundreds of hours of study in nutrition, positive psychology, emotional wellness and meditation techniques. He's led hundreds of group meditations, given public talks, and provided private coaching for people interested in taking more control of their health.

To join the community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

"No llores coño, tu eres hombre!" aka "Don't cry damnit, you're a man!"

This is one of many phrases I heard growing up in a Cuban community in Miami, Florida, where if you're not Latino, you're a minority.

A community that is very big on masculinity, machismo and just men flaunting their peacock feathers to show how tough and manly they are. Where things like emotions and feelings and tears are reserved for women and children.

Where if you don't adhere to the strict rules of what it means to be a man, you run the risk of being labeled gay, feminine, weak, soft or many other disparaging insults that are thrown at men who dare venture into the softer side of being a man.

My guest Jorge Emanuel Berrios, like me, knows all about growing up in this macho atmosphere. An atmosphere where men are expected to take ownership of their women, expected to cheat on their women, and expected fight anyone who says otherwise.

Jorge is an actor, comedian and writer now residing in Los Angeles, California. He is part Cuban, part Puerto Rican. Join us as we reminisce on our lives of growing up Cuban and how those manly expectations shaped the men we are today. Listen in as Jorge shares some deeply intimate stories and feelings that he hasn't shared with many people, and how he's worked hard to become and express the man that he truly is and was born to be, and let's go of the man society told him he should be.

To join the community and be part of the conversation:

Behind The Mask-ulinity Private Facebook Group

To connect with me directly:

E-Mail Me: [email protected] or Instagram Me

As men, we do many things to attempt to win the favor of an intimate partner, to build a strong friendship, to establish successful business partnerships and to just attract others to us in any way.

We work out to maintain our physique, we get trendy haircuts, we wear fashionable clothes, we drive sports cars, we flaunt our proverbial peacock feathers--all in an attempt to get people to notice us, to like us, to think highly of us, and to get them close to us in any way possible.

But... that's all outside stuff. That's all stuff--as much as we may say it represents our personal taste and individuality--that tries to paint a picture of who we are for others to see, but it only goes so deep. It's pretty shallow.

All this stuff screams "look at me" but we hardly ever stop to take the time to look at someone else, really look at them and really see them. We never let people see the real us, the true us, the us that needs that needs that sports car to make up for our lack of communication, the us that needs that perfect body because we are deeply insecure.

Join me as I have a deep conversation with Victor Ung on the rise and importance of emotional intelligence. We talk about why it's so important and how we can strengthen it to form deeper connections not only with others, but with ourselves.

In this day and age where women are becoming more empowered and more independent than ever, being a man with a chiseled body, large bank account and a garage full of sports cars isn't quite as enough as it used to be to attract those relationships into your life. We need to go deeper.