There are some wounds we don’t talk about often—wounds that go so deep, we build our entire lives around avoiding their pain. For many of us, that pain starts at the root of something we never chose: a broken relationship with a father or father figure.

Whether it was through emotional absence, inconsistency, harshness, or silence, many of us carry invisible scars from the one person who was meant to protect us. And even years later, we still feel the effects in how we relate to love, safety, authority, and even God.

In today’s episode, I’m speaking to the heart of that ache:• What happens when you realise your trauma goes back to your father wound?• How does unforgiveness subtly shape your self-worth, identity, and relationships?• And what does true forgiveness actually look like—especially when your father never apologised?

We’re walking through what it means to:

* Name the losses you never got to grieve

* Understand how the pain shaped your patterns

* Acknowledge the unmet needs you carried into adulthood

* And finally, release the burden through the healing love of God

This episode is not about pretending the hurt didn’t matter—it’s about letting go so the pain no longer has to lead your life.

Scripture Highlight

“Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” — Psalm 27:10

“You did not receive a spirit of fear, but the Spirit of adoption, by whom we cry, ‘Abba, Father!’” — Romans 8:15

🎧 Listen NowWhether you’re just beginning to understand your own father wound or you’re ready to start healing, this conversation is for you.

If this episode stirred something in you and you want to explore your healing journey further, you can book your 1-to-1 sessions or simply connect with me at [email protected].

Don’t forget to subscribe & share with a friend who needs this reminder:You are not the wound. You are the beloved child of a healing Father.

With love,Cherise 🌸

#healingjourney #fatherwounds #christianhealing #innerchild #christianpodcast #forgiveness #faithbasedhealing #emotionalhealing #identityinChrist #lifeblooming #CheriseRochelle #TheSecretPlacePodcast

Do you always say yes, even when you want to say no?Do you shrink your needs, avoid conflict, or keep the peace at your own expense?Do you call it kindness — but deep down, it feels like fear?

Hi, I’m Cherise Rochelle, and welcome back to Beloved.Today we’re unpacking the “Nice Girl” pattern — how fear of rejection and a deep need to be liked can keep you trapped in inauthenticity.And more importantly, we’ll talk about how God invites you into truth and freedom — not just politeness.

1. Why This Pattern Happens

When you grow up in an environment where your value was tied to compliance, silence, or keeping others happy, “niceness” becomes a survival tool.

You may have internalised messages like:

* “Don’t make things difficult.”

* “Don’t upset anyone.”

* “Be easy to love — agreeable, helpful, low-maintenance.”

And somewhere along the way, you learned that:

* Disagreement = conflict

* Speaking up = rejection

* Having needs = being “too much”

So you became “the nice one” — the accommodating, quiet, people-pleasing version of yourself — even if it wasn’t the whole truth.

But niceness that’s rooted in fear is not kindness.It’s self-erasure. It’s fear in disguise.

2. Signs You’re Trapped in the “Nice” Cage

* You say yes automatically — then regret it later

* You avoid sharing your true opinions

* You suppress your needs to keep others comfortable

* You feel resentful but don’t express it

* You feel invisible or misunderstood

* You mistake passivity for peace

* You confuse being liked with being loved

Your inner narrative might sound like:

* “If I speak up, I’ll lose them.”

* “My job is to make everything OK.”

* “Being difficult means being rejected.”

* “I’m not allowed to take up space.”

📖 3. What the Bible Says

Jesus wasn’t just “nice” — He was honest, loving, and clear.Jesus confronted, challenged, cried, rested, disagreed, and set boundaries.He didn’t avoid discomfort to maintain appearances — He chose truth over approval.

People-pleasing is a form of fear — and fear is not your master.“Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” – Galatians 1:10You weren’t created to contort for everyone else’s comfort. You were created for truth.

You are allowed to have a voice — and it matters.“Speak the truth in love...” – Ephesians 4:15Love is not silence. Love is not shrinking. Love is truth with grace.

4. How to Break Free

A. Pause Before the YesWhen someone asks for something, pause. Ask yourself, Do I want to say yes — or do I feel obligated?

B. Practice Saying Small No’sStart with safe people. Try things like,“I can’t take that on right now,”or “I need some time to think.”

C. Trace the FearAsk, What am I afraid will happen if I say no or speak up?Bring that fear into the light. God wants to meet you there.

D. Choose Truth Over ApprovalYou may disappoint people. You may confuse people.But the goal is not to be “nice.”The goal is to be real, rooted, and free.

Affirmation

“I am not here to perform for love. I am free to be honest, clear, and kind — without fear.”

Closing Verse

“Speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ.” – Ephesians 4:15

If “being nice” has become a mask you wear — and you’re ready to start showing up more fully — know this:God never asked you to disappear.He made your voice on purpose.And He’s not intimidated by your truth.

If this episode resonated, you may want to revisit Episode 17 Why Can’t I Say No?And if you’d like 1-on-1 support, email [email protected] to book a free discovery call.Until next time, stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace, and never forget:You are beloved.

Ever felt like a fraud?

You get a win.A compliment.An open door.But instead of joy, you feel dread.

“What if I can’t keep this up?”“What if they find out I’m not as good as they think?”“What if I’m a fraud?”

This week on Beloved, we’re naming what so many of us quietly carry: imposter syndrome — and how to move from fear to freedom.

Because you weren’t called by accident. And you don’t have to earn what grace already gave you.

In this episode, we explore:

Why imposter syndrome happens — how early experiences shaped your sense of worth and planted the fear of exposureHow it shows up — the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways insecurity sneaks in, even when you’re doing wellWhat God says when you feel like you’re not enoughPractical reframes to step into truth, identity, and peace — even when your inner critic is loud

Bible Highlights:

“God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise…”– 1 Corinthians 1:27God delights in using the unqualified — because that’s where His power shines.

“You are my beloved child; with you I am well pleased.”– Luke 3:22Spoken over Jesus before His ministry began. You are loved before you perform.

“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.”– Philippians 1:6You didn’t start this alone. You don’t have to finish it alone either.

“We have this treasure in jars of clay…”– 2 Corinthians 4:7You may feel fragile — but you carry something eternal.

From Shrinking to Stewarding

Imposter syndrome tells you to shrink.Grace invites you to show up.

Here’s what we’re learning to practice:

Name the lie: “I feel like I’m faking it.”Then bring that fear to God — honestly, gently, fully.

Replace “Prove” with “Receive”:You are not here by accident. Receive the space God has opened for you.

Shift from fear to stewardship:You don’t have to be impressive. You just have to be faithful.

Celebrate without shrinking:Humility is not denying your light — it’s knowing the Source.

This week’s affirmation:

“I am not a fraud — I am called, chosen, and equipped. I walk in grace, not fear.”

Ready to go deeper?

If this episode felt like a mirror to your experience, you’re not alone.You’re not behind.You’re not too much.You’re not “faking it.”You’re becoming.

To get in touch email [email protected] to book a free discovery call or you can book a 1-to-1 session here.

Coming Up Next:

Next time, we’ll go even deeper with:Episode 20: When “Nice” Becomes a Cage— a conversation about People-Pleasing, Identity, and Fear of Rejection.

Until then, may you stay rooted in truth,Wrapped in grace,And never forget:You are beloved.

With love,Cherise

Subscribe:Join the Beloved newsletter on Substack.

🕊️ Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace — and remember:You are beloved.

Does making a mistake feel like being a mistake?

Do you feel guilty resting — like there’s always more to earn, more to prove, more to fix?

If so, you’re not alone.This week on Beloved, we’re talking about perfectionism — that deep, exhausting need to be flawless in order to feel safe, accepted, and worthy of love.

Maybe your story sounds like this:

* You were the “responsible one.”

* The overachiever.

* The fixer.

* The child who thought, If I’m perfect, maybe no one will leave. Maybe I’ll finally feel enough.

But perfectionism doesn’t protect you. It isolates you. It keeps you performing instead of resting — striving instead of receiving.

And most of all, it lies to you about love.

In this episode, we explore:

• Where perfectionism comes from — often rooted in conditional love and early experiences of needing to "earn" affection or approval• The quiet signs you may be stuck in perfectionism • What God actually says about weakness, grace, and being loved apart from performance• How to start releasing perfection and receive God’s gentleness in your imperfect moments

You’ll also hear affirmations, Scripture, and heart-healing truths

Scripture Highlights:

• “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9• “It is by grace you have been saved… not by works.” — Ephesians 2:8–9• “The Lord your God… will rejoice over you with singing.” — Zephaniah 3:17

Ready to release the pressure?

If you’ve been carrying the weight of perfectionism, this episode is your reminder:You are already loved. Even when you’re imperfect. Even when you rest. Even when you fail.

God delights in you — not because you’re polished, but because you’re His.

Tune in to Episode 18And feel free to share this with a friend who’s been struggling to feel “enough.”

💌 P.S. – Want support?

If this episode stirred something deep and you’d like to go further:📞 book a free 10-minute discovery call by emailing: [email protected]

or

you can book your 1-to-1 sessions or simply connect with me at [email protected].

💌 Subscribe:Join the Beloved newsletter on Substack.

🕊️ Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace — and remember:You are beloved.

With love and gentleness,Cherise

Have you ever said “yes” just to avoid the discomfort of saying “no”?Agreed to something you didn’t have the capacity for — not out of love, but out of fear?Stayed silent even when something felt wrong, because disappointing someone felt unbearable?

You’re not alone.Many of us carry the weight of chronic people pleasing — not because we’re overly nice, but because somewhere along the way, our safety became tied to our likability.

The Roots of People Pleasing

People pleasing isn’t a personality trait.It’s often a survival strategy — especially for those who grew up in environments where love felt conditional.

If you learned that:

* Conflict led to disconnection

* Affection had to be earned

* You were “too much” or “too emotional”

* Peace in the room meant safety in your body

…then it makes perfect sense that you became skilled at anticipating needs, smoothing over tension, and shrinking to fit.

But that kind of shrinking comes at a cost.You begin to feel invisible.Disconnected from your desires.Overcommitted and resentful.Afraid of your own voice.

People Pleasing Is Not Kindness

Here’s something that set me free:

“People pleasing is not love. It’s fear in disguise.”

Kindness includes honesty.Compassion includes boundaries.Jesus — who embodied perfect love — disappointed people regularly.He said no. He withdrew from crowds. He didn’t meet every need.And yet, He was still perfectly good and deeply loved.

We don’t need to twist ourselves into knots to be worthy.We already are.

What the Bible Says About Approval & Identity

If your heart is weary from trying to please everyone, here’s some truth to stand on:

🕊️ “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? … If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” — Galatians 1:10

🕊️ “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.” — Proverbs 29:25

🕊️ “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” — Hebrews 13:6

God doesn’t ask you to be agreeable.He calls you to be authentic, anchored in truth, and full of grace.You don’t have to earn love that was freely given.

If You Struggle to Say No…

Here are a few questions to reflect on:

* What does it cost me to keep everyone else comfortable?

* What am I afraid might happen if I disappoint someone?

* Whose opinion am I holding above God’s?

* Where might I be called to say “no” — so I can say “yes” to peace?

Try this affirmation:

“I am not responsible for managing everyone’s emotions. I am free to show up with honesty, even if others are disappointed.”

And here’s a simple phrase to practice:

“Thank you for thinking of me. That doesn’t work for me right now.”

That’s it. No explanation needed.

A Final Word

You don’t have to keep disappearing to be loved.You don’t have to keep sacrificing your peace for the sake of harmony.You don’t have to live in fear of being “too much” or “not enough.”

You’re allowed to take up space.You're allowed to rest.You're allowed to be whole.

And in case no one’s told you lately:You are still good even when you say no.You are still loved when someone is disappointed in you.You are still enough, even when you're not meeting everyone’s expectations.

🌱 Let’s Go Deeper:If this episode stirred something in you and you want to explore your healing journey further, you can book your 1-to-1 sessions or simply connect with me at [email protected].

💌 Subscribe:Join the Beloved newsletter on Substack.

🕊️ Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace — and remember:You are beloved.

With grace,Cherise 🌸

Have you ever been in a relationship — romantic, platonic, or even spiritual — and felt like you were holding your breath, just waiting for the moment things would fall apart?

Even when it’s good, you’re expecting the goodbye.Even when you’re loved, you’re bracing for rejection.Even when you’re safe, your nervous system is whispering, “Don’t get too comfortable — they might leave.”

If that resonates with you, you’re not alone.And you’re not broken — you’re likely carrying an old wound.In today’s episode of Beloved, I’m talking about the fear of abandonment — where it starts, how it shapes the way we love, and how God gently teaches us another way to live.

Why Does This Fear Run So Deep?

The fear of abandonment is almost always planted early.If you experienced emotional withdrawal, inconsistency, neglect, or loss in childhood, your heart began to expect instability. You may have learned love was something to earn, chase, or cling to before it disappears. Even now, as an adult, that same nervous system can keep you stuck in survival mode.

And that fear doesn’t just show up as tears or panic — sometimes it looks like silence. Overthinking. Self-sabotage. Shrinking yourself to hold someone’s attention. Asking “Do you still love me?” long after they’ve said yes.

Sound Familiar? Here Are Some Signs You Might Be Struggling with Fear of Abandonment:

* You feel anxious when someone doesn’t respond quickly.

* You find yourself over-giving in hopes of staying “needed.”

* You overanalyze moods, tones, and silences.

* You distance yourself first — just in case they were planning to leave anyway.

* You rarely believe someone will stay… no matter what they say.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I feel like I’m too much and not enough at the same time?” — this might be part of the story.

What Scripture Says About Being Left

The Bible doesn’t shy away from our ache for connection. God knows what it feels like to be abandoned. Jesus Himself cried out, “Why have You forsaken Me?” — not so we’d never feel it, but so we’d never be alone in it.

Here are a few verses I mentioned in the episode that are worth holding close:

“Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.” — Psalm 27:10“I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.” — Jeremiah 31:3“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” — Hebrews 13:5

Where people may have failed to stay — God hasn’t.And He never will.

What Healing Might Look Like:

1. Name the Story

What’s your earliest memory of someone leaving — physically, emotionally, or spiritually? Write it down. That younger version of you deserves compassion.

2. Challenge the Lie

The fear says, “You’re not worth staying for.”But the truth says: “You are chosen, seen, and securely loved.”

3. Create Safe Presence

Before you seek safety in someone else, create it with yourself and God. Can you sit in the silence? Can you practice presence without panic?

4. Ask God to Rewire Your Expectations

Instead of bracing for rejection, ask God to anchor your expectations in His consistency:“Even if people come and go, You stay. And that’s enough.”

Affirmation:

“I am not defined by who walked away. I am held by the One who stays.”

Closing Verse:

“For the Lord will not reject His people; He will never forsake His inheritance.” — Psalm 94:14

🌱 Let’s Go Deeper:If this episode stirred something in you and you want to explore your healing journey further, you can book your 1-to-1 sessions or simply connect with me at [email protected].

💌 Subscribe:Join the Beloved newsletter on Substack.

🕊️ Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace — and remember:You are beloved.

With compassion and hope,Cherise 🌸

🗓️ Coming Up Next on Beloved:

People Pleasing — how the desire to be liked can slowly erase us.And how God invites us to choose wholeness over approval.

Until then,Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace — and never forget:You are beloved.

You’ve done the work. You’ve grown.But deep down, do you still feel… broken?

You’re not alone. And it’s not because you haven’t healed — it’s because shame is sneaky.

While guilt says “I did something wrong,”shame whispers, “I am something wrong.”

In this episode of Beloved, we confront the emotional weight of shame — and the way it shapes how we see ourselves, others, and even God. We talk about how:

* Shame can form in childhood from withheld love or harsh words

* It leads to perfectionism, hiding, and feeling unworthy of love

* It warps your self-perception and spiritual life

📖 But the Bible offers a different truth:

* Psalm 34:5 — “Those who look to Him are radiant.”

* Romans 8:1 — “There is now no condemnation…”

* Isaiah 61:7 — “Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion.”

God doesn’t just clean up shame — He replaces it with honor.

🛠️ You’ll learn steps for healing, including:

* Naming the source of shame

* Refusing agreement with its lies

* Letting God “re-parent” the hidden parts of your heart

* Finding safe spaces to come out of hiding

💬 Affirmation:“I am not what I’ve done or what I’ve been through. I am not too broken to be loved. In Christ, I am made whole.”

This episode is an anchor for anyone still carrying silent shame.There is no disqualification in God’s kingdom — only redemption.

➡️ Listen now to Episode 14B💌 Want support with this journey? Email me at [email protected] to schedule a discovery call, or ask about the Healing Father Wounds group program.

Do you walk into a room and wonder if you belong?Do you compare yourself to others and always come up short?

Insecurity can quietly shape how we see ourselves and how we show up in the world. In this episode, we get to the root of insecurity — where it comes from, how it distorts our identity, and the way it holds us back from walking confidently in who God created us to be.

Whether it began with a parent’s silence, or even if it was someone or somewhere else, that made you question your worth — this episode is a compassionate invitation to unlearn those false scripts and step into God-given security.

You’ll Learn:

* How early wounds impact our sense of value

* The subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways insecurity shows up

* How to stop agreeing with the lie of “not enough”

* What Scripture says about your identity and confidence

Affirmation:“I am not behind. I am not too much. I am not lacking. I am loved, chosen, and enough.”

Featured Verses:

* Ephesians 2:10 – You are God’s masterpiece

* Jeremiah 1:5 – You were formed and known

* Psalm 27:1 – God is your confidence

* Psalm 34:5 – You will never be covered in shame

🌱 Let’s Go Deeper:If this episode stirred something in you and you want to explore your healing journey further, you can book your 1-to-1 sessions or simply connect with me at [email protected].

🕊️ Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace — and remember:You are beloved.With love & compassion,Cherise

💌 Subscribe:Join the Beloved newsletter on Substack.

Listen to the episode on Spotify / Apple Podcasts / or wherever you tune in.Leave a comment or share your reflection—I'd love to hear your thoughts.

#BelovedPodcast #FatherWounds #ChristianHealing #IdentityInChrist #EmotionalHealing #BibleStudy #DaddyIssues #GodsGrace #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndIdentity #GenerationalHealing #NewCreation #GraceNotShame

Dear Beloved,

This week's episode feels a little heavier, and a little more raw—but it’s something we need to talk about.

If you’ve ever been impacted by an emotionally absent, neglectful, critical, or inconsistent father—or if you’re seeking healing from the long shadow of generational pain—this is for you.

Father wounds are real. And when they go unhealed, they don’t just sit quietly. They shape identity, affect how we love and relate, and can ripple into future generations unless grace steps in.

In this episode, we discuss what can happen when we carry these wounds without inviting God’s healing into the picture. We talk about the emotional, relational, spiritual, and the generational effects of unaddressed father wounds—and how we can begin to take responsibility for our healing, even when we’re not the ones who caused the harm.

Key Points Covered:

* Emotional and relational instability

* Identity confusion and performance-based self-worth

* How father wounds distort our view of God

* How unhealed trauma can become generational patterns

* The truth about “visiting the iniquity” (Exodus 34:7)

* The difference between being wounded and being cursed

* Why your healing matters, especially if you want to be a parent

* The power of grace to break every cycle

Bible Study Focus: Exodus 34:7

“Keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty...”

We do a deep word study to understand the richness of God’s mercy and the seriousness of His justice. This verse is often used to explain “generational curses”—but I unpack what it really means, especially in light of the gospel.

Other Verses Mention:Exodus 34:7, Galatians 3:13, Ezekiel 18:20, Psalm 147:3

Final Encouragement:

A father wound is not a sin. It’s a wound. But without healing, pain can quietly lead to harmful patterns that affect everyone in its path.

The good news? In Christ, no cycle is unbreakable. Your past is not your identity—and your healing is not only possible but promised.

If you’ve ever said, “I don’t want to pass this on,” this episode is for you.

With love,Cherise

🌱 Let’s Go Deeper:If this episode stirred something in you and you want to explore your healing journey further, you can book your 1-to-1 sessions or simply connect with me at [email protected].

💌 Subscribe:Join the Beloved newsletter on Substack.

🕊️ Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace — and remember:You are beloved.

Listen to the episode on Spotify / Apple Podcasts / or wherever you tune in.Leave a comment or share your reflection—I'd love to hear your thoughts.

#BelovedPodcast #FatherWounds #ChristianHealing #IdentityInChrist #EmotionalHealing #BibleStudy #DaddyIssues #GodsGrace #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndIdentity #GenerationalHealing #NewCreation #GraceNotShame

The Wound That Says: “You’re Not Worth Loving”Dear Beloved,

Do you struggle to receive compliments? Over-apologise for existing? Stay in relationships that don’t honour you? These are often signs of a deeper wound — the belief that you’re not worth loving.If you’ve ever swallowed your feelings to avoid being “too much,” or accepted less than you deserve just to feel loved — you’re not alone. Many of us carry unspoken wounds that whisper: You’re not worth loving.

In this episode of Beloved, we unpack how low self-worth is often formed in early life through rejection, abandonment, or conditional love — and how God gently restores what was broken. This episode is a compassionate invitation to confront false narratives and root yourself in God’s unwavering love.

Inside this episode:

* How low self-worth is shaped in childhood

* Common behaviours that point to low self-worth & subtle signs of unworthiness that affect adult life

* A practical invitation to receive love — from others and from God

* Biblical reminders of your created value and chosen identity

* How to rebuild your self-worth through grace and truth

“Your worth is not defined by who walked away — but by the One who chose to stay.”

📖 Key Verses: Psalm 139:14, Romans 5:8, 1 John 3:1✨ Closing Affirmation: “My worth is not defined by who walked away — but by the One who chose to stay.”

Reflective Prompt:What is one belief you carry about yourself that doesn’t align with what God says?

This message isn’t just truth — it’s tenderness. You deserve love that doesn’t ask you to shrink. You deserve grace that makes room for your whole self. And in God, you have that — always.

🌱 Let’s Go Deeper:If this episode stirred something in you and you want to explore your healing journey further, you can book your 1-to-1 sessions or simply connect with me at [email protected].

💌 Subscribe:Join the Beloved newsletter on Substack.

🕊️ Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace — and remember:You are beloved.

With compassion and hope,Cherise 🌸