Some of us have been in unhealthy friendships for so long…

…that when we meet someone who treats us with respect, kindness, and consistency, it feels almost unfamiliar.

But friendship, as God designed it, isn’t meant to be a test of endurance.

It’s not about constant proving, overgiving, or keeping score.

It’s about mutual care, safety, and helping each other grow into the people God created us to be.

Today, I’m sharing 6 qualities that mark a healthy friendship—so you can recognise them when God brings them into your life and treasure them well.

1️⃣ Healthy Friendships Feel Safe

* You can be honest without fear of judgment or betrayal.

* Your vulnerability is met with care, not criticism.

* They protect your name when you’re not in the room.

📖 Proverbs 17:17 – “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

2️⃣ They’re Built on Mutual Respect

* Your feelings and boundaries are valued.

* Disagreements don’t turn into dismissals.

* There’s room for both of you to have needs.

📖 Romans 12:10 – “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

3️⃣ They Celebrate Without Competing

* Your joy becomes their joy.

* They don’t downplay your wins or make them about themselves.

* They’re secure enough to cheer you on wholeheartedly.

📖 1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…”

4️⃣ They Correct With Love

* They speak truth when you need to hear it.

* Their correction comes from care, not condemnation.

* You leave even tough conversations feeling supported, not shamed.

📖 Proverbs 27:6 – “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”

5️⃣ They’re Consistent

* They make the effort to be present.

* Love isn’t just in words—it’s in showing up.

* They rebuild trust if it’s been broken, rather than expecting instant restoration.

📖 John 15:13 – “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

6️⃣ They Help You Grow in God

* They encourage your walk with Christ.

* They inspire you to pray, study, and trust Him more deeply.

* Their influence pulls you toward God, not away from Him.

📖 Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – “Two are better than one… If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.”

💬 Affirmation

“I attract and nurture friendships that are safe, mutual, joyful, honest, consistent, and God-centered.”

📖 Closing Verse

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

💌 A Gentle Encouragement

If you’ve been praying for friendships like this, let God prepare your heart to be the kind of friend you desire to have.

Healthy connections are a gift, and they flourish best when both people are intentional about love, trust, and grace.

Beloved with Cherise Rochelle is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Sometimes, the deepest grief isn’t from losing someone to death—

it’s from losing someone to growth.

When you begin to heal…

When you start walking in self-respect…

When you set boundaries and stand in your worth…

Some relationships—friendships, romances, even family ties—no longer feel safe, healthy, or aligned.

And that can be heartbreaking.

Why This Kind of Grief Hurts So Much

We don’t expect to grieve when a relationship fades without a dramatic ending.

Yet it still hurts because:

There’s shared history and memories

You thought they’d be part of your future

Part of your identity may have been intertwined with them

Letting go can feel like losing a piece of yourself

Healing often reveals what you couldn’t see before—

the moments you accepted less than you deserved or silenced your needs to keep the peace.

Recognising When You’ve Outgrown a Relationship

* You may have outgrown a relationship when:

* You feel drained, not nourished, after spending time together

* Boundaries are dismissed or ignored

* You must shrink yourself to keep the connection

* The space no longer feels emotionally safe

* You feel more guilt or anxiety than joy in the relationship

* You’re committed to growth, but they’re committed to staying the same

This isn’t about being “better” than someone else—just in different seasons.

Why Healing Can Mean Letting Go

When God restores you, He also protects what He’s restoring.

That may mean removing you from spaces, habits, and people who threaten your growth.

Letting go isn’t rejection—it’s redirection.

It’s trusting that even in absence, God is working for your good.

You can miss someone and still know life is better without the old dynamic.

A Biblical Perspective

“Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” – Amos 3:3

Healthy relationships require shared direction and values.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1

Some connections are seasonal, and it’s okay to release them when their time has passed.

How to Grieve and Heal

* Acknowledge the loss – Don’t minimise your feelings.

* Allow yourself to feel – Sadness doesn’t mean the choice was wrong.

* Pray over them – Bless them, even from a distance.

* Journal your growth – Remind yourself why you stepped away.

* Surround yourself with the healthy – Create room for new, life-giving relationships.

Affirmation:

“I can honour the role someone played in my life while releasing them with love.

I trust that God will align me with people who match the healed version of me.”

Closing Verse:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!” – Isaiah 43:18-19

Resources for Your Healing Journey

💻 Online-Therapy.com – Work with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your home. Especially helpful if you're navigating attachment wounds, boundary-setting, or relational trauma.

Affiliate Disclaimer:

The link above is an affiliate link, meaning I may earn a small commission—at no extra cost to you—if you choose to purchase through them.

Beloved, you are allowed to grow.

You are allowed to protect your peace.

And you are allowed to walk away from what no longer aligns with the healed version of you.

With love,Cherise

Beloved with Cherise Rochelle is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Some healing happens in silence. Some healing happens in conversation. But how do you know which one your heart needs—and when?

In today’s episode of Beloved, we’re unpacking a sensitive but necessary question: Should you talk to your father (or a father figure) about how he hurt you? And if so, when and how do you do it in a way that is safe, Spirit-led, and rooted in wisdom?

Whether your father was emotionally absent, critical, unreliable, or hurt you in deeper ways—many of us carry unspoken pain. And sometimes, that ache comes with a longing to be heard... to be seen... to be acknowledged.

But before we rush into confrontation, we need to pause and ask:

* Am I doing this to get closure—or to invite clarity?

* Am I hoping for an apology—or needing validation?

* Am I ready for the possibility that he may not respond the way I hope?

In this episode, I’m sharing: 💬 Signs you might be ready for this conversation 🧠 How to know if it’s wise and safe to initiate contact 📖 What the Bible teaches about confronting those who’ve hurt us 🙏 How to involve God in the timing, tone, and outcome ❤️ What healing can still look like if the conversation never happens

Whether your father is present, estranged, passed on, or emotionally unavailable, this episode will guide you toward peace—whether that peace comes from a conversation, or from letting God be your vindicator.

Today’s Affirmation:

“My healing is not dependent on another person’s apology. I can honour my truth, walk in wisdom, and trust God with the outcome.”

Closing Verse:

Romans 12:18 – “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Bonus Resource:

💻 Online-Therapy.com – Work with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your home. Especially helpful if you're navigating attachment wounds, boundary-setting, or relational trauma.

⚠️ Friendly Note on Affiliate Links

Some links in this post are affiliate links. That means if you choose to use them, I may earn a small commission—at no additional cost to you. These are resources I have carefully selected because I believe they can support you on your healing journey.

If this episode stirred something in you—be gentle with your heart. You don’t have to rush into anything. Ask God for discernment, invite His peace, and know this: Your voice matters, your pain is valid, and you don’t have to heal alone. Whether the words are ever spoken or only whispered in prayer, God hears. And He’s not just your Father in heaven—He’s a healer of every wound left by the one on earth.

If you have any questions or requests feel free to reach out to me at [email protected]

Until next time, stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace, and never forget:You are beloved.

With love,Cherise

Beloved with Cherise Rochelle is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Hey beloved,Today’s episode is a tender one—and honestly, one I wish someone had gently walked me through years ago.

You’ve probably heard of the five love languages:Words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and receiving gifts.They’re beautiful tools to help us understand how we connect with others…But here’s the question I want to gently pose today:What if the love language you crave most is the one you never received from your father?

What if that deep need isn’t just a preference… but a wound?

In this episode, we explore:

* A gentle refresher on the 5 love languages (and what they symbolise emotionally)

* How father wounds can shape our strongest love language needs

* What it looks like to love from lack vs. love from healing

* Where God meets us personally—in the language of our heart

* Reflection prompts to help you invite Him into that space

It’s not about blaming or getting stuck in the past.It’s about compassionately noticing the patterns, naming the ache, and making space for God to re-teach your heart what your earthly father could not.

Because your need for love is not shameful.It’s human.And God isn’t asking you to ignore that need—He wants to meet you in it.

A Few Journal Prompts from the Episode:

* What does my primary love language reveal about what I lacked growing up?

* When have I felt most loved—and did that experience feel safe and secure?

* Am I using love languages to connect or to test?

* Where is God already speaking my love language—even if I haven’t noticed it?

A Reminder from Scripture:

“The Lord your God is in your midst… He will take great delight in you; in His love He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”— Zephaniah 3:17

Even the parts of you that were never spoken to, never touched with kindness, never seen—God sees them now.And He rejoices over you. Not in the version of you that performs perfectly… but in the version that is healing, learning, and still longing.

Helpful Resources:

If you’d like to go deeper, I’ve linked a few resources in the show notes:

* The 5 Love Languages Book by Dr. Gary Chapman

* Online-Therapy.com – A platform where you can access therapy sessions from wherever you are.

These are affiliate links, which means I may earn a small commission—at no extra cost to you—if you choose to purchase or sign up through them. I only ever share resources I believe can truly support your healing journey.

Final Thoughts

If something in today’s episode stirred your heart—maybe it brought clarity, maybe it brought some ache—I want you to know this:You’re not broken.You’re not too much.And you’re not too late to be fully known, fully healed, and fully loved.

If this resonated with you, I’d love for you to reply, share, or send this to someone who might need it.You can also reach me at [email protected] if you ever want to connect or share what came up for you.

Until next time,Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace, and never forget: you are beloved. 💛

With love,Cherise Rochelle

Beloved with Cherise Rochelle is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

If you’ve been doing the work—sitting with God, getting honest, breaking cycles—you’ve probably wondered:

"Am I healed enough to date?"

Because healing isn’t a finish line.But discernment?That’s a spiritual and emotional necessity.

Dating is one of the clearest mirrors we hold up to ourselves.It doesn’t just reveal who we’re attracted to—it reveals what we believe we deserve.

And when you’ve been shaped by a father wound—whether from absence, criticism, neglect, emotional unavailability, or inconsistency—you may find yourself entering relationships looking for a father, not a partner.

In this episode, we unpack:

Why This Question Matters (And Why It’s Often Missed)

So many of us never learned to ask, “Am I whole enough to choose from peace—not pain?”

We carry unconscious patterns from our childhood into our dating lives:

* Seeking validation instead of compatibility

* Confusing emotional chaos with love

* Avoiding healthy connection because it feels unfamiliar

* Attracting people we think we can fix

Your dating life will often reveal the places that still need tending.But that doesn’t mean you have to be perfectly healed.It means you need to be aware, anchored, and surrendered.

Signs You May Still Be Dating From a Wound

* You confuse intensity with intimacy

* You fear abandonment more than you value compatibility

* You over-give or suppress your needs to earn love

* You fall for potential, not patterns

* Emotionally available people feel boring or overwhelming

* You try to “heal” the person you’re dating

Wounded love looks for rescue.Healed love chooses peace.

What Does “Healed Enough” Actually Look Like?

You’re not asking a partner to complete you.You’re already complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10).

Here are some signs you’re healing in a way that supports healthy connection:

* You recognise your relational patterns and triggers

* You don’t need a relationship to feel worthy

* You can walk away from what isn’t healthy

* You communicate your needs honestly and clearly

* You’re emotionally safe for yourself

* You’re not dating from urgency, scarcity, or fear

Questions to Ask Before You Date Again

These aren’t about perfection—they’re about posture.

* Do I trust myself to walk away from what doesn’t reflect my worth?

* Do I still need someone to choose me to feel lovable?

* Am I entering this from peace—or pressure?

* Have I let God meet the needs I once hoped someone else would fill?

While You Wait: A Loving Invitation

This season is not punishment—it’s preparation.

* Anchor yourself in your identity in Christ

* Let God father the parts of you your earthly father couldn’t

* Surround yourself with wise counsel

* Nourish your soul through community, prayer, and therapy

* Become the kind of partner your future partner deserves

Today’s Affirmation

I am already loved.I don’t need to be chosen to be worthy.I will not date to escape myself—I will date when I can carry myself in love.

Closing Verse

“You are complete in Him.” – Colossians 2:10You’re not waiting to be made whole—you’re learning to live from the wholeness that’s already yours in Christ.

Featured Resources

If this episode spoke to you, here are two tools that may support your continued growth:

📘 Boundaries in Dating by Henry Cloud & John Townsend – A biblically grounded, practical guide to navigating relationships with wisdom and emotional clarity. (Amazon affiliate link – thank you for supporting this podcast!)

💻 Online-Therapy.com – Work with a licensed therapist from the comfort of your home. Especially helpful if you're navigating attachment wounds, boundary-setting, or relational trauma.

⚠️ Friendly Note on Affiliate Links

Some links in this post are affiliate links. That means if you choose to use them, I may earn a small commission—at no additional cost to you. These are resources I have carefully selected because I believe they can support you on your healing journey.

Next time on Beloved, we’ll explore Episode 28: What Your Love Language Might Say About Your Father Wound

Until then, stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace, and never forget:You are beloved.

Dear Beloved,

There’s a unique kind of ache that comes after healing begins.

When the fog lifts and you can finally see clearly, you start to connect the dots:The choices you made. The patterns you repeated. The people you clung to.And the voice of shame tries to whisper:"How could you not have known?"

But here’s the truth I’m learning:You didn’t know… because you were surviving.You weren’t being reckless. You were being wounded.And God never stopped seeing you with compassion.

In this week’s episode of Beloved, we’re exploring what it means to forgive yourself for the things you did when you didn’t realise it was your father wounds speaking. The people you tried to fix. The love you chased. The silence you kept. The boundaries you didn’t know you could set.

We talk about:

* Why we feel shame when we finally understand our trauma

* How God responds to the version of us that was just trying to cope

* What real self-forgiveness looks like (it’s not passivity, it’s partnership with grace)

* The identity shift that happens when we stop punishing and start parenting ourselves through God’s love

There’s no condemnation in Christ—but there is truth. And that truth?It sets you free.

✨ “I forgive myself for what I did from an unhealed place. I was not weak—I was wounded. And now, I am healing.”

If you’ve been carrying guilt over the old version of you, I pray this episode wraps you in gentleness. You don’t have to earn grace. Just receive it.

With love,Cherise Rochelle

💌 If this resonated and you’d like support walking through father wounds and self-forgiveness, you’re invited to email me at [email protected].

Have you ever set a boundary… only for it to be ignored, questioned, or pushed aside?

This episode is for the boundary breakers in our lives—the ones who love bomb, guilt trip, dismiss, or spiritualize their way past our “no.”

In this conversation, we talk about:

* The different types of boundary breakers (and how they show up—sometimes subtly)

* Why some people ignore your limits (and why it’s not your fault)

* Biblical insight on protecting your peace without losing your voice

* How to respond when someone keeps crossing the line—without sacrificing your integrity or your identity

* The internal work of releasing guilt and showing up with holy clarity

This one is tender and empowering—especially if you’ve been told that boundaries are selfish, unloving, or “unchristian.”

💡 You are not responsible for making others comfortable with your limits.You are responsible for protecting the life God entrusted to you.

📖 Scripture is clear: Guard your heart. Speak your yes and no clearly. Shake the dust when needed.

✨ If this resonates, you may want to revisit Episode 35 on setting boundaries without guilt. And if emotional manipulation, control, or codependency has shaped your past, know this: healing is possible, and you’re not alone.

Let’s walk in truth together.

With grace,Cherise 🤍

Have you ever been in a relationship where you couldn’t fully exhale?Where you second-guessed your words, quieted your feelings, or walked on eggshells just to keep the peace?

This week on Beloved, we’re talking about one of the most important (yet overlooked) elements of every healthy relationship: emotional safety.

In this episode, I explore:

* What emotional safety actually is—and why it matters

* How a lack of it shapes your self-expression, relationships, and even your spirituality

* What breaks emotional safety (and why it often starts in childhood)

* How God creates emotional safety with us—and how we can mirror that with others

* Practical steps to begin rebuilding emotional safety in your own life

Whether you're learning to trust again, recovering from past hurt, or trying to be a safer space for others, this episode offers gentle wisdom, spiritual grounding, and real-life guidance.

You are worthy of relationships where you don’t have to perform to be protected.And it begins by knowing what safety feels like—with others, with yourself, and with God.

Don’t forget to check out Episode 22 on setting healthy boundaries—it pairs beautifully with this one.💌 For coaching, questions, or prayer requests, feel free to email me at [email protected].

With you on the journey,Cherise 🤍

Have you ever said “yes” when everything inside you screamed “no”? Or stayed silent just to keep the peace—even though something felt off?Welcome back to Beloved. I’m Cherise Rochelle, and today’s episode is for anyone who feels guilty for protecting their peace. We’re unpacking how to set boundaries without guilt—and how boundaries are not betrayals of love, but powerful expressions of it.

1. Why Guilt Shows Up When You Set Boundaries

If you were raised believing love means self-sacrifice, saying no can feel like selfishness or rejection. Maybe you played the “peacekeeper” or “fixer” role growing up, so setting limits feels like failure.You might carry messages like:

* “If I set a boundary, I’ll hurt them.”

* “I should just be more patient.”

* “I don’t want to seem unkind.”

Guilt thrives when your worth depends on being needed or liked. Boundaries challenge that by prioritizing your well-being over others’ comfort.

2. Signs You Struggle With Boundary Guilt

* Apologizing for expressing needs

* Saying “yes” out of fear, not freedom

* Over-explaining decisions to avoid conflict

* Anxiety after standing your ground

* Feeling responsible for others’ emotions

Your inner narrative might say:“I don’t want them to feel abandoned.”“I’ll just deal with it—it’s not worth the drama.”“If I say no, I’ll seem unloving.”

3. What the Bible Says

Boundaries are biblical wisdom, not unloving walls.

* “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes,’ and your ‘no,’ ‘no.’” — Matthew 5:37

* “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

* “Each one should carry their own load.” — Galatians 6:5

Jesus modeled boundaries by resting, saying no, and withdrawing despite pressure. Saying no doesn’t mean unloving; it means living with purpose.

4. How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt

* Start with clarity: Identify what feels unsafe or overwhelming.

* Use kind, simple phrases: “I’m not available for that.”

* Expect discomfort, not destruction: Resistance isn’t always a sign your boundary is wrong.

* Detach from others’ emotional reactions: Their feelings aren’t your responsibility.

* Return to truth: You are protecting both yourself and others with love.

Identity shift:“I’m not responsible for everyone’s comfort. I’m responsible for protecting the peace God has entrusted to me.”

Affirmation:“I can say no with love. Boundaries are not rejection—they are protection.”

Closing Verse:“The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance.” — Psalm 16:6

If you’ve spent your life making others comfortable at your own expense, this may feel hard—but that’s okay. You’re learning to walk in love and truth.If you struggle with boundaries because you never learned emotional safety, feel free to book a free discovery call at [email protected] or you can book your 1-to-1 sessions for personalised support.

💌 Subscribe:Join the Beloved newsletter on Substack.

🕊️ Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace — and remember:You are beloved.

With love,Cherise 🌸

Have you ever wondered if you were being loving—or just letting others walk over you? If your silence was wisdom—or fear?Welcome back to Beloved. I’m Cherise Rochelle. Today we’re exploring a key question: What does a healthy boundary actually look like?Especially for those raised to confuse love with self-abandonment, boundaries can feel harsh or unloving. But when God restores our identity, He teaches us how to protect it.

1. What Are Boundaries, Really?

Boundaries aren’t walls or punishment. They’re clarity. They mark where you end and someone else begins.Think of a fence around a garden: it’s not to keep everything out, but to protect what’s growing. Healthy boundaries say:

* “This is what I need to feel safe.”

* “This is what I can offer without burning out.”

* “This is what I cannot allow, even if I love you.”

2. Why We Avoid Boundaries

Fear of disappointing, abandonment, or selfishness can keep us from setting limits. We might believe:

* “I must give without limits to be loved.”

* “If I protect my peace, I’ll lose people.”

* “Boundaries mean I don’t care.”

But that’s fear disguised as people-pleasing. True love calls for truth, not self-abandonment.

3. What the Bible Says

The Bible is full of boundaries—not to keep us from love, but to teach us how to love well.

* “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more comes from evil.” — Matthew 5:37

* “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

* “Each of you should carry your own load.” — Galatians 6:5

Jesus Himself set boundaries: He rested, said no, withdrew, and chose intimacy with a few over approval from many.

4. What Healthy Boundaries Look Like

Healthy boundaries are:

* Clear: “I can’t commit to that right now.”

* Consistent: You don’t say yes then resent it.

* Respectful: You restate boundaries without punishment.

* Self-aware: You know what drains or triggers you.

* Responsible: You own your choices, not others’ reactions.

They are not about control, revenge, avoidance, or passive aggression.

Identity shift:“I am allowed to have needs. I can love others without losing myself.”

Affirmation:“My boundaries are not selfish. They are the framework of love, truth, and emotional safety.”

Closing Verse:“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures… He restores my soul.” — Psalm 23:1-3Peace begins when we live led, not drained. Boundaries help us rest in His care.

If you struggle with boundaries because you never learned emotional safety, feel free to book a free discovery call at [email protected] or you can book your 1-to-1 sessions for personalised support.

💌 Subscribe:Join the Beloved newsletter on Substack.

🕊️ Stay rooted in truth, wrapped in grace — and remember:You are beloved.

With love,Cherise 🌸