Bereaved But Still Me

Grief can make you feel foggy, raw, and strangely split between “I know this is real” and “this cannot be real.” We sit down with Dr Audrey Davidheiser, a licensed psychologist whose work took on new meaning after the sudden, unexpected death of her father from a heart attack. She shares what those early weeks were like: the shock, the fear, the responsibility she felt as a firstborn, and the way grief can hijack attention, sleep, and memory.

From there, we dig into Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) and why it can be such a steady framework for the grieving process. Audrey explains the idea of “parts” in plain language and why having different inner voices does not mean you are going crazy. We talk about protector parts that keep us functional by pushing distraction and avoidance, and how those same protectors can unintentionally block healing when grief is never allowed to surface.

We also widen the lens on bereavement and loss. Grief can follow the death of a loved one, but it can also come from wildfire losses, divorce, miscarriage, the death of a dream, or losing a pet. The takeaway is practical and gentle: we can face grief in bite-sized pieces, led by a steadier core self that can say, “I’m here with you, you’re not alone."

If you want grounded grief support, emotional healing tools, and a compassionate way to understand your inner world, press play, then subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving listeners can find this conversation.

To buy Dr. Audrey's book, Grieving Wholeheartedly is available here: https://www.amazon.com/-/zh_TW/Grieving-Wholeheartedly-Bringing-Healing-Every/dp/1514010836

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(00:00:00) Khamla Sayavong's Strength

(00:00:22) Welcome And Khamphoy’s Story Setup

(00:01:21) Growing Up Under Grandma’s Gaze

(00:02:53) Silence As Generational Survival

(00:04:43) Flood And The Refugee Journey

(00:09:41) How Strength Shaped The Women

(00:15:12) Assimilation And Learning Two Worlds

(00:17:38) Grief After Grandma’s Death

(00:22:24) Creating GLOW And Self-Love

(00:25:35) Understanding Happiness

(00:28:46) Talking About Pain In Families

(00:33:47) Legacy, Gratitude, And Closing

A single look from her grandmother could reorganize an entire room and, in many ways, an entire life. We’re joined by Khamphoy Sayavong, who grew up in a family led by extraordinarily strong women where survival, sacrifice, and silence were the default setting. Together, we talk about what “strength” can mean inside immigrant and collectivist families and how generational trauma often shows up not as one dramatic event, but as a lifelong pattern of minimizing emotion, avoiding vulnerability, and pushing through at all costs. 

Khamphoy shares her refugee story in vivid detail: a monsoon flood in the northern hills of Thailand that washed away their hut, the terrifying moment she clung to a trunk as the water rose, the years spent moving through refugee camps, and finally arriving in the San Francisco Bay Area to start school without English. We explore the whiplash of assimilation, the pressure of cultural expectations, and how a childhood built on adaptability can quietly train you to read everyone else’s needs before your own.

Later, grief becomes a turning point. Khamphoy reflects on her grandmother’s death, the unexpected unity it revealed among siblings, and the legacy captured in a simple letter that carried love, resilience, and intent. We also dig into her work-in-progress truth: unlearning a survival habit where happiness is only allowed to last a few minutes before the next goal takes over. That realization feeds into GLOW, Grow To Love Oneself Within, her mission to rebuild self-worth from the inside out through healing, not just achievement. 

If you’ve ever felt like your family “doesn’t talk about pain,” or that you’re only as safe as your next accomplishment, this conversation will meet you there. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review to help more listeners find Bereaved But Still Me.

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(00:00:00) Welcome And Why These Stories Matter

(00:01:38) Welcome And Why These Stories Matter

(00:03:17) Growing Up Different

(00:05:20) David as an Adult

(00:06:29) Birthdays & Keeping His Memory

(00:11:17) The Medical Crisis

(00:15:07) Congenital vs. Acquired Heart Disease

(00:16:08) The Miracle & His Final Night

(00:22:29) Family After Loss

(00:26:43) Advice for Parents & Closing Thoughts

A son who could make you laugh, a heart that worked harder than most, and a mother who still talks to him across the road. We’re joined by Connie Wilhoit, who shares the story of her son David, born with a complex congenital heart defect and raised through multiple surgeries, including the Fontan. Connie brings David to life in the small specifics: a jokester with a huge personality, a gamer who loved to holler across the house, and a legendary “trader” who always had a new deal up his sleeve.

We also get honest about the parts families rarely say out loud. How do you explain to a child that he’s different from his friends? How do siblings carry the diagnosis, the school questions, and the strange unfairness of hospital time? And what happens when the twin who shared every birthday has to face that date after loss? Connie speaks plainly about daily grief, memory, and the rituals that keep connection close, from visiting a headstone nearby to noticing a truck in the yard that still feels like him.

Then the medical reality hits again: the day David asked for an ambulance for the first time, the terror of a sudden crisis, and the loneliness of hospitalization during COVID restrictions. We talk about adult congenital heart disease care, why many adults born with congenital heart defects still rely on pediatric specialists, and what it means to get “miracle” time at home before everything changes. If you’re searching for bereaved parent support, congenital heart disease stories, or real conversations about child loss and sibling grief, this one holds space with warmth and clarity.

If this resonates, subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more grieving families can find these stories.

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(00:00:00) Welcome And Kelly’s Light

(00:05:30) The Night Everything Changed

(00:10:45) Driving Into The Unknown

(00:14:55) Coma Faith And A Peaceful Room

(00:19:20) Choosing Organ Donation

(00:24:00) Meeting The Boy Who Received Kelly's Heart

(00:27:55) Rituals That Keep Kelly Close

(00:31:40) Hope And Guidance For Grieving Parents

A child can change a room with a smile, and Kelly Corbly did that everywhere she went. She was five years old, curly-haired, dog-obsessed, and fearless about loving people others avoided. Then one night, what looked like a bad dream became a medical emergency, and her parents, David and Ann, found themselves racing toward a children’s hospital with no clear answers, making choices no parent is ever prepared to make.

We walk through the reality of sudden pediatric brain injury, including Kelly’s rare arteriovenous malformation (AVM), the terrifying hours around surgery, and the days of waiting as coma turned into brain death testing. David and Anne share what helped them endure: the kindness of nurses, a surprising sense of peace in the ICU room, and a faith experience that felt like comfort arriving at the exact moment it was needed. If you’ve searched for language around grief, shock, and spiritual questions after child loss, their honesty offers a steady place to land.

Kelly’s legacy also becomes practical and life-changing through organ donation. With the guidance of an organ donor coordinator, the Corblys choose to donate, and they even meet Joshua, the little boy who receives Kelly’s heart and lives six more months because of her. We also talk about long-term bereavement, protecting a marriage after trauma, and the rituals that keep love close, from a celebration of life filled with stuffed puppies to a golden retriever named Kelly’s Angel.

If Kelly’s story moves you, please subscribe, share this episode with someone who may need it, and leave a review so more grieving families can find these conversations.

To learn more about Kelly, visit her website: KellyCorbly.org

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(00:00:00) The Knock That Changes Everything

(00:00:33) Welcome And Ellen’s Story

(00:01:33) Nineteen And Dreaming Of A Future

(00:03:08) Six Weeks Married Then Goodbye

(00:04:36) The Telegram And Raw Shock

(00:08:31) When Grief Gets Misunderstood

(00:09:53) Finding Meaning Through New Friends

(00:12:14) Overdose And The Choice To Stay

(00:16:20) Rejecting The Widow Identity

(00:18:13) Meditation And Beliefs That Help

(00:21:24) Writing The Memoir As War Returns

(00:28:32) Closing Reflections And Next Steps

A telegram at the door can split your life into “before” and “after.” Ellen M. Laura knows that moment intimately. At 19, she’s newly married, writing letters to her husband Brian in Vietnam, dreaming about California and a future that finally feels like it’s starting. Then Marine officers arrive with a priest, and she becomes a widow after only six weeks of marriage. The shock isn’t quiet or tidy, it’s rage, denial, numbness, and a body that can’t make sense of what’s happening.

Michael Liben and Ellen talk about what comes next when the world expects you to “be strong” while also having no idea what to say to you. We dig into grief literacy, the cruel comments people make when they’re uncomfortable, and the isolating feeling of being treated like a problem to manage instead of a person in pain. We also connect that early trauma to the way grief triggers work years later, especially when war returns to the headlines and your nervous system reacts before you can think.

Ellen shares the darkest part of her story, including a suicide attempt soon after Brian’s death, and the moment she decides she has to find a deeper path. From meditation and yoga to spiritual questioning and beliefs about life continuing, she explains what helped her move through anger and finally weave grief into her identity without being defined as a victim. We also talk about why she revisited and revised her memoir, Love In The Shadow Of Saigon, and how new conflict and propaganda pushed her to speak out again.

If you care about grief support, bereavement healing, trauma after sudden loss, widowhood at a young age, or the long arc of meaning-making, this conversation offers honesty and tools you can sit with. Subscribe to Bereaved But Still Me, share this with someone who needs a steady voice, and leave a review so more grieving people can find us.

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(00:00:00) A Grounding Breath To Begin

(00:01:29) Jesse’s Losses And Calling

(00:03:26) What People Get Wrong About Grief

(00:04:15) What People Get Wrong About Grief

(00:09:00) Individual Timelines And Real Empathy

(00:12:37) Grieving As A Therapist

(00:14:05) Small Practices For Stuck Grief

(00:17:04) Humor As Release And Connection

(00:20:18) Supporting Grief That Looks Different

(00:22:08) Supporting Grief That Looks Different

(00:23:49) Live Better Course And Farewell

The weirdest part of grief is how quickly we start judging it. Too much crying means you’re “not coping.” Not enough crying means you “didn’t love them enough.” And if you laugh for a moment, it can feel like betrayal. We sit with all of that honestly and gently, and we name what so many people are afraid to say out loud: grief doesn’t follow a script, and trying to force it into one can make the pain sharper.

I’m joined by Jesse Rafeh, a licensed marriage and family therapist whose life has been shaped by profound loss, including multiple suicides in her family and the recent death of her father. Jesse brings a trauma-informed, emotional regulation-focused approach to bereavement that makes room for the full spectrum of reactions, from being unable to get out of bed to functioning “too well” while quietly carrying the weight. We also talk about what it means to feel truly understood, why empathy changes the nervous system, and how rituals, presence, and permission can support long-term grief.

We get practical too: what to do when you feel stuck, how to tell the difference between your inner compass and your survival voice, and why the smallest tool can be the most powerful one, stopping to breathe and asking what you need right now. We also explore humor as release, not avoidance, and why moving forward is not moving away. If you’re searching for grief support, bereaved parent resources, or simple coping with loss practices you can use today, you’ll find real footing here.

If something resonates, share this with someone who needs it, subscribe so you don’t miss the next conversation, and leave a review to help more grieving people find support. What’s one thing you wish others understood about your grief?

Jesse’s website: https://live-better.me/      
Jesse’s Instagram: @jesserafeh

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(00:00:00) Introducing Christina Vidovich

(00:01:40) Dance Studio As Family

(00:02:22) COVID Closes The Doors for Good

(00:08:28) Creating a Goodbye Without Ritual

(00:15:55) Releasing Blame and Reclaiming Worth

(00:21:21) Turning Grief into a New Voice

(00:26:18) Women Getting Visible and Brave Stories

A studio can be more than a business. It can be your calendar, your friendships, your creative outlet, your sense of worth, and the place where you watch other people become themselves. When that disappears overnight, the grief is real, even if no one brings flowers or holds a service.

We sit down with Christina Vitovich, international speaker, producer, and founder of Women Getting Visible, to name a loss that often goes unseen: grieving the end of a livelihood and the identity wrapped around it. After spending more than 20 years building a thriving ballroom dance community, COVID forced a permanent closure, and the shock hit her nervous system hard. Christina talks honestly about insomnia, the hollow quiet of an empty room, and the strange pain of losing something that is not a person but still feels like family.

We also dig into what helps healing actually begin. Christina shares the ritual she created to say goodbye, why it took years to speak about dance again, and how acceptance grows when you stop treating an uncontrollable event like a personal failure. From there, the conversation turns practical and hopeful: transferable skills, finding your voice again, and building community without a brick-and-mortar space through podcasting, speaking, and women’s events around the world.

If you are facing career loss, business closure, identity shifts, or complicated grief, you will leave with language for what you feel and steps to keep moving forward without pretending it did not hurt. Subscribe, share this with someone rebuilding after a loss, and leave a review so more listeners can find support.

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Grief isn’t an ending; it’s a relationship that changes. Judy Tashbook Safern joins us with a story that stops the clock: cascading surgeries, pneumonia, and a coma that opens into an enveloping light and a felt encounter with God. She returns with a message—“you are necessary”—only to learn that her father, a larger-than-life psychoanalyst and professor who built Jewish community in West Texas, has been diagnosed with advanced liver cancer and passes within days. The timeline feels like a switch, a mystery that begs hard questions about fate, faith, and why one life continues while another concludes.

We explore the details that make this more than a headline. Judy paints her father through action: freezer trucks of kosher meat hauled across states, hand-typed holiday invitations posted around a university and an Air Force base, and a seven-hour drive to Dallas and back for Passover staples. When she wakes, pain floods back; survivor’s guilt arrives fast. Grounded in Jewish mourning practices—shiva, shloshim, and a year of gentler abstentions—she sits shiva alone on a hospital floor, 10,000 miles from her family, learning how ritual can still hold when improvised. She also draws on a lineage tied to Rabbi Isaac Luria to give vocabulary to the inexplicable, without forcing certainty where only awe belongs.

What follows is a living bond. Judy senses her father in small joys and sharp wit, at Seders where his annual pilgrimage becomes family lore, and in quiet moments when purpose feels like a vow. The lesson she brought back from the light reframes worth beyond roles—parent, partner, child—while still honoring how love threads those roles with meaning. If you’ve wondered whether the dead keep shaping our days, or how to carry a legacy without being crushed by it, this conversation offers language, practice, and hope.

If this resonated, subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review to help others find the show. Tell us: how do you keep your continuing bonds alive?






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A heartbeat in your ear changes how you see a person. That’s where we begin—with the intimacy of listening and the quiet vigilance of an anesthetist whose job is to guide people to the brink and bring them safely home. Frank Jaworski has lived at that edge for decades, and he joins us to share what most of us never witness: how dignity is protected in the operating room, what families truly need in the ICU, and why the smallest human gestures can calm a storm of fear.

Frank takes us from early regret after his mother’s death to a clear-eyed choice to spare his father futile procedures, revealing how experience reframes hope and mercy. He explains the real work of anesthesia—constant scanning, pattern recognition, and presence—while separating sleep, anesthesia, and death with honesty that reassures rather than frightens. We talk about awareness under anesthesia, the art of waking someone with their own name, and the role of humor when it helps and restraint when it doesn’t. Along the way, we visit the hardest rooms: resuscitations that look like violence because they must be, the unforgettable sight of broken ribs in the pursuit of a heartbeat, and the moral whiplash of organ donation after brain death when the machine turns off and the caregiver walks away.

What emerges is a practical, compassionate guide to the end of life. You’ll hear how to talk with clinicians, why planning matters, and how presence—touch, voice, and attention—transforms final moments into something sacred. This conversation offers comfort without illusion, clarity without coldness, and a reminder that love shows up in the smallest, steadiest ways.

If this moved you, share it with someone who needs the language for a hard conversation. Subscribe for more stories at the intersection of grief, medicine, and meaning, and leave a review to help others find their way here.

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Grief doesn’t run on a schedule, and kids feel that truth in their bones. We sit down with author and grief group facilitator Ta'Shay Mason to unpack how children experience loss, why feelings often arrive in waves, and what adults can do to create safety without forcing conversation. From a mother’s steady persistence to the surprising comfort of equine-assisted activities, Ta'Shay shares practical ways to help kids express themselves when words feel too heavy.

You’ll hear about a powerful memorial option many families don’t know exists: eco-friendly reef balls that incorporate a loved one’s ashes and become a living habitat for marine life. Families decorate the form together with handprints, shells, and ribbons, then watch it lowered into the sea and receive coordinates to visit later. This ritual turns goodbye into a shared act of care for the ocean, giving children something tangible, creative, and hopeful to hold onto. We also talk about common dynamics like anger, magical thinking, and memory gaps, and how to normalize them with honest language and gentle choices.

Ta'Shay walks us through her series A Child’s Journey Through Grief, where a nine-year-old learns to say goodbye, finds connection in group therapy, and builds new traditions for birthdays and recitals. The core takeaway: don’t push kids to “move on.” Help them move forward—one story, one photo, one small tradition at a time. If you’re supporting a child or navigating your own loss, you’ll leave with grounded strategies, fresh ideas for memorials, and a kinder framework for the long road of remembrance.

If this conversation helped you, subscribe, share it with someone who’s grieving, and leave a review so more families can find these tools.

Here's Ta'Shay's website: https://tashay-mason.com/books

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