Writer Lauren Ashley Smith joins Best Gabe Ever to give advice even though she’s been married for ten years. A man insists on telling his friend that she’s not in the same league as the men she wants. Can you date someone you’re not attracted to right away? Was it rude for a wife to tell her husband he’s too broke to be sexist? Gabe’s new experiences as a man in the eyes of women. An HOA story about revenge! A woman wants to tell her BFF her baby name is horrendous. 

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City kids v suburbs kids. Ella reveals her history of tagging and graffiti as a youth. R/digitalminimalism asks what people did before cellphones. Amy recounts her neighborhood’s infamous “naked running guy.” Next, what it’s like to play sports in a religious high school league. r/partyplanning brings us a kid who wants a butt-themed birthday party. And finally, some ideas for chaotic adult party games.

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Welcome to the first episode of Best Gabe Ever! For the premiere, we're throwing it all the way back to interview Gabe's old Buzzfeed coworker Ella Mielniczenko and her girlfriend Amy Nicholson. On this show, we give advice! First though, we find out how these gals met! Then, a man is iced out from his office because he won't contribute to a birthday gift, a pregnant woman is mad her husband wants his mother in the delivery room and a family falls apart because of a Labubu. A woman's husband uses ChatGPT to reply to her texts and the trio discuss how friendships suffer because of AI. Kid business! Sibling order! Don't forget to follow the couple's new pod Softcore Chaos.

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Goodbye JBU! Hello Gabe’s new pod! Please stick around!! A listener writes in asking what to do if her partner doesn’t want to get married. The duo want your follow ups to your past IQs! The last Hypotheticals is played. A partner sleeps in the nude on business trips with their coworker. You’re new at work and a man in another department wants to show you the ropes. A parent fakes night terrors for a good reason? And then, talking about ending the show and reminiscing about our time together.

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Allison and John can use “pregnant wife” when she’s hungry. Then, an OP deals with a daughter in law who wants her to make a very intense coffee order for her in the mornings. A woman admits in her vows IN FRONT OF EVERYONE that she scammed her husband into marrying her. Melisa and Gabe share how to work smarter not harder when trying to get a love interest’s attention. The classic Gen Z v Millennial debate rages on. For our final Reddit or not, will a couple break up if they can’t share a bath?

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Allison's preparing her nails for the arrival of her baby. A listener writes in asking if it was a mistake not to settle down when they were younger. Then, therapist Emma Kazarian (Allison's other BFF) joins the show to talk about working as a relationship OCD therapist and couples therapist while having OCD herself. And in Topix, Allison is not looking forward to writing Thank You Notes.

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Going hardcore from the beginning. r/justnofamily brings a tale of a mother in law forcing unmarried older sisters to dance in a pig trough during the wedding reception. Can animals talk with buttons? An OP learns that they don't like dating multiple people while their partner does -- but they're still polyam. A parent worries their children are idiots. A front desk worker watches two people have an insane break up where they spill all the tea in the lobby. Hunter Biden is hot. Zohran is hot. An OP wonders if all American parents are so strict with their children. And finally, Chinese zodiac signs.

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Baseball! Then, a listener writes in asking how to stay connected to their long distance partner while they transition AND open the relationship. Then, educator Margeaux Feldman joins the show to talk about their work on traumatizing events turning into trauma and what about community helps heal us. And finally, JBU is winding down and a new pod is ahead! Ahhhh!

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Gabe and Allison have some hot take animal thoughts to share. Some employers need to know how to erase HTML in their texts, or at least get people's names right in the templates. The trio discuss whether or not to give people ultimatums in relationships and whether or not you have to share that ultimatum with your partner. r/apartmentliving brings us a wholesome tale about an OP finding candy wrappers on their porch. An OP realizes she and her new bf got the same matching tattoos as him and his ex. YIKES. Gabe's going back to the gym and he's flossing, but he's not like...working on himself. A woman worries her teacher spouse is flirting with his former student. Then, Yelp reviews for a car wash bring so much joy and cats with thumbs.

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Gabe and a friend got lemon tattoos. A listener writes in asking about whether they are supposed to make up with their friend's partner who has become disrespectful to the friend. Then, Dr. Shireen Rizvi and Dr. Jesse Finkelstein join the show to talk about Dialectical Behavior Therapy, their book Real Skills For Real Life, and what tactics we can use to emotionally regulate and get out of painful patterns. In hypotheticals... geese! And finally, Allison has some thoughtful questions about Gabe's writing on bottom surgery for trans men.

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Post-Production by Coco Llorens

Production Assistance by Melanie D. Watson

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