Beware The Algorithm!

i dive into one of my favorite CEO roasts where liz warren ego checks mr.sloan of hellz fargo. our puppy special agent tail cooper costs me a leg and bezos goes the extra mile and flies him and his brother into the sun. do u read these descriptions? lmk in the comments and if u wanna b apart of the weekly worthless AMA? send it [email protected]

the great mike pence talks about how he jacks it to the U.S. constitution and a trivial broken promise i plan to redeem next week.

it was recorded on a Friday sooooo Happy 4th of July. make sure to light all the fireworks really close to the American Flag.

want to be in a stellar weekly AMA? ask all questions at [email protected] (last one was PRETTY GOOD)

i try to buy a tv from walmart and my card is rejected cuz the algorithm doesnt like me. some guy from ohio talks about being against a "4 the people act" which makes elections more fair. i love ALDI's and the box combo from Cane's chicken.

for my future failure of an AMA plz send all questions to [email protected]

i reflect on the epic week of another paid holiday unless you're working at a fortune 500 company that needs you to work that day. i also feel shame of a recent puppy training experience. other than that pretty great week of unemployment. so privileged. fk billionaires bruh i need a jerb.

whats the point of a warranty if i still owe money? these cucks want to rob me blind in bs fees they should have to pay. this world is insane and idk why it costs so much to live in a hellscape. good news: "This Week Sucks Tonight!" is back at Stand-Up Live and had a strong return!

i DM'ed @w_budgick who was screwed over by amazon buying gold bullion. i also dive into the Arizona government refusing to pay me unemployment after working the front lines as a pharmacy tech in the pandemic. you think after help facilitate giving patients the COVID vaccine there would be some reward. no. there is no money in helping people. may everyone who has crossed me find the lights of a speeding bus. plz rate 5 stars on apple podcasts and leave an offensive comment on the vid. oh i also leave a set i bombed at woodshed this week at the end. enjoy the last joke!

i crave 5 star apple podcast reviews because every performers goal is being sponsored by an undies or mattress company. Mike Pence wins the hearts of dozens talking about Space Force in December 2020 and inspires me to take a half-shot of Mother's Sweet Tea Vodka. rating? two out of five clouds. 

i lose my mind because Camtasia software thought i wanted an old file and when i clicked the wrong thing it deleted original podcast. so here's take two. to recap: free Steven Dozinger, shop at ALDI's, and follow @theanwarnewton. oh and come by and watch "This Week Sucks Tonight!" June 10th 2021 at Stand-Up Live 8pm. pretty sure they still validate parking.

hi. u haven't subscribed yet. u haven't reviewed my podcast yet. u piece of shiet. cmon. CMON! u think i wanna go back to working at somewhere like Kroger? save me from the fortune 500 companies! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELP ME NEVER WORK FOR SLAVE WAGES AGAIN. THE ALGORITHM IS HERE! AHHHHHH!!! MY BABY! THE ALOGRITHM IS EATING MY BABY!

some only dream of it. i achieved it. my only regret: not recording it. if anyone wants bonus clip lmk in comments (lol) and i'll personally send it. oh and the haircut i got was a taper haircut and im SO SORRY when i did the impression of my wonderful stylist sonnie (she sounds WAYYY nicer) but it was only because i was in a rush to dinner! ur always wonderful and i haven't seen Amazon's "Upload" yet but will check it out. cya in a few months when im a manager at Google!