Beyond Balance

Well hello there.

Yesterday in my Morning Pages, a stream-of-consciousness list came to me. I drew a line down the page.

And on one side wrote “things I’m good at” and the other: “things I’m not good at.”

Know thyself, etc.

The “good at list” included things like “taking risks” and “warmly nurturing my kids” and “writing in bed” and “big visioning and creating” and “hosting” and “being a boss” and “staying home for long stretches of time.”

The “not good at” list included “waking up before my kids” and “following directions / instructions / recipes” and “admin work” and “open & answering emails” and “realistic timelines and to do lists” and “keeping the car filled with gas.”

Nothing on these lists is good / bad, right or wrong. It just IS.

We contain multitudes, people!

And the list made me think of some of my favorite lines from Mary Oliver in Upstream:

It is six A.M., and I am working. I am absentminded, reckless, heedless of social obligations, etc. It is as it must be. The tire goes flat, the tooth falls out, there will be a hundred meals without mustard. The poem gets written. I have wrestled with the angel and I am stained with light and I have no shame. Neither do I have guilt. My responsibility is not to the ordinary, or the timely. It does not include mustard, or teeth. It does not extend to the lost button, or the beans in the pot. My loyalty is to the inner vision, whenever and howsoever it may arrive. If I have a meeting with you at three o’clock, rejoice if I am late. Rejoice even more if I do not arrive at all.

In light of this list and my own “hundred meals without the mustard,” it comes at no surprise that I should decide to add one more creative endeavor to my already full plate.

Back in September my friend Clara said, “what if we did a podcast together and called it Finding 40?”

And I said YES because I’m a creative glutton and that sounded juicy.

The basic premise is two elder millennial women Real Life friends, on the verge of turning 40, squarely in “the portal,” simply sharing the conversations they are already having about self, relationships, body, desire, shame, stories, motherhood, creativity, marriage, career, perimenopause, etc. OUT LOUD and putting them on Substack and inviting you to join.

[ IF you want to join, YAY - here’s a survey we put together, so you can start to chime in on episode topics and questions. We REALLY love hearing from you! ].

So if that is YOU — we’re so excited to share this podcast. (Also if that description is not you, but you are married to one of these people or friends with or a mother or aunt-in-law or neighbor of or see them on the internet or one day that will be you, keep listening because it will help us all ;))

We’re super low-key about the podcast (also on my “not good at list” is “launching with perfect polish and execution, with all the details figured out!”).

So for now, we’re each sharing the episodes on our respective Substacks and we’ll eventually have a proper page for it etc. etc.

But today is not the day.

Today is the day for Episode 3 which doesn’t even have a title but let’s call it — for now — “how to holiday your way.”

It’s a conversation about letting yourself be guided by your own inner pull instead of the shoulds and it happens to take place within the context of the holidays and family of origin v. found family and how to make more choices that feel like your own, that feel good to you.

Here’s the video version for to watch / listen to as you unload the dishwasher and get ready for the day.

Have a listen. And let us know what you think in the comments below or our Finding 40 Survey.

Further listening:

The Pilot of Finding 40 is here and Episode 1 of Finding 40 is here.

3 years ago I did an episode about “how to winter” on my old podcast Beyond Balance. That episode is called “Winter’s Wisdom: How to Slow Down this Holiday” and you can listen to it here.

MUAH.Cath

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This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catherinezack.substack.com/subscribe

My husband Sam observed the other day that I’ve given myself “weekend homework” with this Substack.

He is not wrong 😂.

In many ways, I’ve been writing these 10 essays for 10 years. Some of them have had lives as earlier drafts in my podcast Beyond Balance, and my program 40 Early Mornings, and almost every single thing I say here I’ve said in a coaching session, on a retreat, or in a regular old everyday class that I’ve taught in the last decade.

All of them, I’ve been outlining and drafting in morning pages, in Scrivener, in voice memos, on walks for at least the week before they are published here. Often, much longer.

And yet — it seems I am in a never-ending karmic dance and dialogue with “self-imposed deadlines,” “feeling behind,” and allowing things to take the time they take.

Is it just me?

Are you, too, usually in a rush? And yet, do you often feel “behind”?

Leave a comment below with your hot take on time & your relationship to it. What you share just make it into the final draft of the essay that’s *almostthere* and will drop later this week about — you guessed it — TIME.

So ask / comment / share away — how’s your relationship to time? Asking for a friend ;) asking for all of us! 👇

And please in the meantime, enjoy this guided audio meditation that helps us practice presence -- one tried & true way we can shift our relationship to time.

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Thank you for reading Let's Sit Together. This post is public so feel free to share it.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catherinezack.substack.com/subscribe

"Perfectionism is ... the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life."

Anne Lammott says really eloquently what we all FEEL when it comes to the trap of perfectionism.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest symptoms of stress and hustle culture and I wish I could tell you I've figured out how to completely recover from it.

But -- like everything I share on the podcast -- I'm still learning too.

Here are 8 ways I'm currently making peace with my perfectionism in the opening of Village Yoga, our new yoga & meditation studio in the Hudson Valley of Upstate New York, in our tiny village called Kinderhook. (It sounds dreamy and it is. And this whole huge project is always giving me LOTS of raw material on work out my relationship to perfectionism ;)).

These 8 tips work well on most myths and pressures of stress and hustle culture - so feel free to sub them in for your own current flavor of seeking liberation (be it rest or not rushing or defining success on your terms!).

And remember, these 8 lessons are a "menu" not another to do list. Take a nugget of this with you for a walk. Chew on it for awhile. Stay curious and seek what happens.

Your imperfectly perfect podcast host,
Cath xo

P.S. feel free to pass this episode along to any recovering perfectionists you might know.

P.S.S. I just co-launched a virtual women's group called Embodied Leadership, which begins in June! Join me and a group of other high-achieving, high-performing, recovering perfectionists who are seeking to create lives and work that do not feel "cramped & insane" but actually brilliant & spacious & Stunning. The Embodied Leadership Collaborative is a community and curriculum dedicated to bringing to life the ideas I share in Beyond Balance. Enrollment is now open and you are SO welcome there. Learn more & Sign up at: https://thegreenherongroup.com/ 

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catherinezack.substack.com/subscribe

Cath & Clara are back in their frank conversation series, this time talking about the decision to become a parent (or not). 

Clara asks Cath pointed questions about her own journey into motherhood. And as usual, Cath's approach is to hopefully bust some of the myths of "stress culture" that lead parents to burnout and keep us from being present as parents. 

This episode provides some honest insight into a mindful and empowering approach to motherhood. And gives you the tiniest peak -- whether you're a mother or not, whether you're considering parenthood or not -- into the "Remembering You" women's retreat that Clara and Cath will co-lead in the Hudson Valley September 12-16, 2023. 

The retreat itself is dedicated to a coming into self. 

A space away from the constant go of life, work, family, relationships, etc., and a sacred pause to find clarity and relief. 

Our days will be a series of local meals, yoga practices, group lead discussions and rest, led by dating & relationship coach Clara Artschwager & meditation and mindfulness teacher Catherine Zack.

Though every detail is graciously and thoughtfully planned, on retreat, we happily take a “less is more mentality.” 

Meaning, we believe there's just as much to be gained from a heartfelt chat over morning coffee or lounging around the pool as there is in a scheduled event of the retreat.

Weaving writing, reflection, group conversation, and guided coaching, Clara & Cath create space to connect, space to be, space to see the hungers, truths and desires seated inside of you reflected in another. Prepare to walk away inspired and awakened.

Space is limited to 8 women. Learn more and reserve your room here:
catherinezack.com/retreat 

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catherinezack.substack.com/subscribe

Join Cath & Clara Artschwager for a frank conversation series, this time talking about marriage and relationships and how to avoid the myths that "stress culture" keep us feeling bad when things aren't "perfect." 

Cath interviews Clara in this episode to talk vulnerably about Clara's new marriage and her realization that not having a "honeymoon period" was actually OK and how her relationship serves as a mirror to her relationship to herself. 

This episode gives you the tiniest peak -- whether you're married, partnered, or single -- into the "Remembering You" women's retreat that Clara and Cath will co-lead in the Hudson Valley September 12-16, 2023. 

The retreat itself is dedicated to a coming into self. 

A space away from the constant go of life, work, family, relationships, etc., and a sacred pause to find clarity and relief. 

Our days will be a series of local meals, yoga practices, group lead discussions and rest, led by dating & relationship coach Clara Artschwager & meditation and mindfulness teacher Catherine Zack.

Though every detail is graciously and thoughtfully planned, on retreat, we happily take a “less is more mentality.” 

Meaning, we believe there's just as much to be gained from a heartfelt chat over morning coffee or lounging around the pool as there is in a scheduled event of the retreat.

Weaving writing, reflection, group conversation, and guided coaching, Clara & Cath create space to connect, space to be, space to see the hungers, truths and desires seated inside of you reflected in another. Prepare to walk away inspired and awakened.

Space is limited to 8 women. Learn more and reserve your room here:
catherinezack.com/retreat 

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catherinezack.substack.com/subscribe

How much of our lives are spent rushing around feeling like we’re always behind where we should be? 

Like there’s never enough time? 

Like we are barreling through the everyday just to crash at the end or race to the weekend?

Or quite simply, how much of our days are spent multitasking and in many places at once – without actually being present with what (and who) is right in front of us?

If you ever feel the pressure of time stress, I made this episode for (for me too ;).

In this episode, I share 5 mindset shifts to help you stop rushing, become more present, and stop feeling "behind."

I also share a little peek into what's been excitedly captivating most of my working time lately -- We are opening a yoga and meditation studio in the Hudson Valley in May! A real-life, brick and mortar place you can come visit and practice in. And a virtual membership that will keep us connected across the miles.

Visit villageyoga.co to fill out the welcome survey, stay up to date on all the studio news, and get special early access to join us there! 

thank you thank you, 
Cath 

👉 https://www.villageyoga.co/ 

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catherinezack.substack.com/subscribe

When was the last time you took a real break?

It's a simple question and one that is NOT so easy to answer.

Stress and stress culture puts so much emphasis on the hustle and the grind, glorifies busyness into a badge of honor, and makes us confuse our accomplishments and achievements with our worth and value. The external messages we get somehow dupe us into thinking that clearing out our inboxes / checking off our to do lists / multitasking and rushing our days away -- that these things are the makings of a good life.

No WONDER so many of us are convinced that we have to earn our rest or our play. That we could never take a break! The world would stop turning! All the balls we have in the air would drop! We'd become irrelevant! 

My decision to take a sabbatical -- which is a fancy way of saying "take a break" -- for 5 weeks required me to confront all of these stories, which really boiled down to one question I had to answer with my sabbatical: 

Who am I without my stress?

In this episode, I share how my sabbatical helped me discover the answers to that question. Listen along to "3 Lessons Learned from my Surprise Sabbatical" to find out.

P.S. If you're ready to answer that question for yourself, consider joining me for Stress School this Spring, My virutal, 8-week mindfulness based stress reduction training and 1:1 coaching program.

Learn more and enroll today (doors close March 24, 2023 and won't open again till the Fall!):

https://www.catherinezack.com/stress-school

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catherinezack.substack.com/subscribe

Being a parent is stressful. 

Marriage can be stressful. 

Any partnership requires communication. 

Welcome to the most candid episode I've recorded yet, which is Part 2 to the Beyond Balance episode titled: 

“Is Parenting Stress Ruining Anyone Else’s Marriage? Asking For a Friend.” (Parenting Stress - Part 1)"

Featuring my husband Sam as my first ever podcast guest and conversation partner.

In this episode:
- Sam shares what makes parenting so stressful from his perspective.
- And the good parts of parenting too ;)
- We talk about how stress makes communication difficult for us, particularly when it comes to dealing with high stress moments and when we communicate through the filter of our "stress stories" instead of being present with each other. 
- How understanding the difference between mindful communication and talking through our "stress stories" helps us manage the stress in our marriage.
- How you can identify your own stress communication style or "stress language" so you can more mindfully communicate in any partnership or relationship.

We left the conversation unedited, as we welcome you into a candid, vulnerable exchange between a loving, tired, stressed, but hopeful husband and wife with 2 very young kids ;)

Thanks as always for listening.

Want to work on your stress & more mindful communication?
Hop on the Stress School waitlist, where we'll do just that! 
(p.s. There's no free stress language "assessment" yet, (I overpromised!) - but there will be in Stress School. Stay tuned ;)) 

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catherinezack.substack.com/subscribe

Happy New Year!

In this first episode of 2023, I am NOT going to tell you that you *should* start a daily meditation practice this year to reduce stress.

(Because even though that *would* work, *should* is the land where all good intentions and New Years Resolutions go to die!)

Instead, I am giving you my BEST secret stress-reducing weapon.

This tool is easy to use.

Simple to remember.

Impossible to forget.

And, of course, grounded in research-backed and evidence-based mindful stress reduction.

Use this the next time a stressful thought derails your day.

You know what I mean -- when your stress brain starts spiraling with worry and anxiety and thoughts that keep you like a pickup truck with its back tires stuck in the mud -- you're revving the engine, pressing the accelerator, burning a lot of fuel and energy and going nowhere fast. (In fact, you're likely getting yourself more stuck as you burnout  🤷🏼‍♀️).

The best news about this tool?

It will work immediately. 

And you already know it.

If you learn something valuable today, please pass this episode to a friend. And leave a review on Apple Podcasts to share how it helped.

I cannot wait for you to learn this!
Catherine

More tools like this at catherinezack.com 

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catherinezack.substack.com/subscribe

Raise your hand if you’ve ever excitedly set a New Year’s Resolution and … it failed 🙋‍♀️

You’re in good company (me too!). 

We start the year with the best of intentions, and yet… 

In this episode, I share the THREE REASONS why your New Years Resolutions Fail: 

• Hint #1: You might be setting the wrong resolution in the first place. 
• Hint #2: You might not need as much hustle & grind as you think. 
• Hint #3: This is NOT a self-improvement plan. 

And, I’ll share with you the one essential change you can make in your approach this New Year. 

Need extra support this New Year?
Book a 1:1 Strategy Session with me - I can’t wait to support you! 

As we round out the last episode of 2022, I want to THANK YOU so much for listening this year. 

If you’ve gotten something from Beyond Balance this year, would you please follow us on Apple Podcast?  If you’re enjoying listening, please give Beyond Balance a 5-star rating. If not, don’t worry about it - you don’t have to do anything. But if you do leave the 5 stars, can you spend 90 more seconds leaving a review - maybe you something you’ve gotten from the podcast. Why you listen. What you learn. How it makes you feel. Only if you love it, if not don’t worry about it :) 

Wishing you a happy, healthy New Year. 
Catherine 

Need extra support this New Year?
Book a 1:1 Strategy Session with me - I can’t wait to support you!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit catherinezack.substack.com/subscribe