Beyond Mommy Dearest Podcast

Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

In this powerful episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down with narcissistic abuse recovery coach Sami for an honest conversation about healing, self-trust, nervous system regulation, and breaking free from toxic relationship patterns.

Sami shares her personal journey through multiple narcissistic relationships and explains how those experiences led her to become an advocate and coach for survivors. Together, Noelani and Sami explore the connection between childhood wounds, people-pleasing, emotional neglect, and the unconscious patterns that can keep survivors stuck in cycles of narcissistic abuse.

The conversation dives deep into the physical signs of narcissistic abuse, including anxiety, insomnia, chronic headaches, hypervigilance, digestive issues, and the feeling that "something is off" even when everything appears fine on the surface.

Noelani and Sami discuss:

• Why survivors often struggle to trust themselves

• How childhood experiences shape adult relationships

• The difference between healthy boundaries and controlling behavior

• Why people-pleasing develops as a survival strategy

• How narcissists teach survivors to gaslight themselves

• What self-trust actually feels like in the body

• Common nervous system responses to emotional abuse

• Why healthy relationships can initially feel "boring"

• The importance of reconnecting with emotions and body awareness

• The role of coaching versus therapy in recovery

• How to recognize red flags before getting trapped in another toxic relationship

• Why healing is not linear

• Learning to choose yourself without guilt

• The connection between abandonment wounds and toxic relationships

• Why survivors deserve love exactly as they are right now

One of the most powerful moments of the episode comes when Sami reminds listeners that they do not need to earn love through healing, perfection, or performance. They are worthy of love simply because they exist.

If you've ever questioned your instincts, struggled with boundaries, or wondered why you keep attracting emotionally unavailable people, this episode offers practical insights and hope for recovery.

Connect with Sami

 Linktree iconFree resources & morelinktr.ee/samanthabachotacoaching

https://www.facebook.com/samibachota?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

https://www.instagram.com/informed_healing/

Connect with Noelani | Beyond Mommy Dearest

• https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/
• https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearest
• https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

Resources Mentioned
 • Feelings Wheel - https://canva.link/9volf8vn68ucp1g
 

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

In this powerful episode, Noelani sits down with trauma recovery advocate Chris to explore what it means to heal from narcissistic parenting and reclaim a sense of self.

Chris shares his personal journey from addiction recovery to becoming one of the most recognized voices discussing narcissistic parents, childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and complex PTSD online.

Together they discuss:

• Why narcissistic parents teach children that danger is safety and safety is danger

• How emotional neglect can be just as damaging as overt abuse

• The concept of "mental injuries" versus "mental illness"

• Why survivors often struggle with decision-making, people-pleasing, and self-trust

• How childhood trauma shows up in adult relationships

• The hidden ways narcissistic parents sabotage their children

• Why healthy relationships can feel "boring" to trauma survivors

• The importance of community, coaching, therapy, and support groups in recovery

• Learning to say no and rebuild boundaries

• Parenting differently after being raised by narcissistic parents

• Breaking generational cycles of trauma

• The challenge of aging narcissistic parents and navigating guilt, obligation, and no-contact decisions

One of the most powerful takeaways from this conversation is that healing is not about fixing the relationship with the narcissist. Healing is about repairing your relationship with yourself.

Whether you're just beginning your recovery journey or have been doing the work for years, this episode offers validation, insight, and hope.

Connect with Chris:

• https://www.instagram.com/hype.r.vigilance Chris on Instagram
• https://tinyurl.com/bddemu7bm - Chris on Cameo
•  https://bit.ly/4ahfgCz Chris’ Lint.ree

Connect with Noelani | Beyond Mommy Dearest

• https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/
• https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearest
• https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

If this episode resonates with you, please follow, rate, and share the podcast so more survivors can find this space.

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

When Love Hurts: Inside I Love You, My Narcissist

In this episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, host Noelani Pearl Hernandez sits down with Ali and Stefanie Schmahl, the producers behind the powerful upcoming film I Love You, My Narcissist. Together, they explore the emotional complexity of loving someone whose behavior is manipulative, controlling, and deeply harmful.

Allie and Stephanie share what inspired them to create the film and how their research into narcissistic dynamics led them to interview survivors and experts, including Dr. Ramani, one of the leading voices on narcissistic abuse. The film blends documentary insight with fictional storytelling to help audiences understand the patterns, confusion, and emotional impact that narcissistic relationships can create.

During the conversation, they discuss the subtle warning signs of narcissistic abuse, why survivors often struggle to leave, and how manipulation, gaslighting, and power dynamics slowly erode a person’s sense of self. They also highlight why it’s important to challenge the myths surrounding survivors and recognize that narcissistic abuse can happen to anyone.

This episode is a powerful reminder that survivors are not weak, that narcissistic abuse is often misunderstood, and that conversations like these help people finally put language to experiences they may have carried silently for years.

Learn more about the film and upcoming release:

Discount Streaming 

https://tinyurl.com/Iloveyoumynarcissist

Trailer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fh6bzqrhYc

Teaser
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xjCWCuualc

Film Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/ilymn.film

Film Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/ilymn.film/

Alefcine Production Company

https://alefcinepictures.com/productions/

Alefcine Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/alefcinepictures/

Alefcine Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/alefcinepictures

Beyond Mommy Dearest

https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/

https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearest

https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

If this episode resonates with you, please follow, rate, and share the podcast so more survivors can find this space.

And remember:
 You’re not crazy. You’re not imagining things. And you’re not alone.

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

Silence Was Survival. Healing Became Her Voice. | Barbara, Author of Spells for Surviving a Haunted Childhood

What happens when the secrets you've carried your entire life finally find their way onto the page?

In this deeply moving episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down with Barbara, author of the powerful trilogy Spells for Surviving a Haunted Childhood. Through a unique blend of memoir, poetry, magical realism, and healing practices, Barbara shares how writing helped her transform childhood trauma into a pathway toward healing.

Together, they discuss childhood neglect, abandonment, emotional wounds, trauma recovery, nervous system healing, parenting after trauma, and the journey from surviving to thriving. Barbara opens up about growing up with a mother who literally left her for the circus, navigating abuse, carrying family secrets, and ultimately discovering that healing doesn't mean forgetting. It means learning how to live alongside your past without letting it define your future.

In This Episode

• Why silence becomes a survival strategy for traumatized children
• How trauma physically impacts the body and nervous system
• The healing power of writing, journaling, art, and storytelling
• What a "haunted childhood" really looks like
• Growing up feeling unseen, unheard, and alone
• The difference between surviving and healing
• Learning to identify and name emotions
• Parenting after trauma and breaking generational cycles
• Why healing is not linear
• The impact of childhood abandonment and neglect
• How awareness becomes the bridge between the haunted and the healer
• The importance of finding safe people
• Healing from complex trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs)
• Why survivors need spaces where they are believed

Trigger Warning

This episode includes discussions of:

• Childhood abuse
• Sexual abuse
• Emotional abuse
• Childhood neglect
• Suicide attempts
• Trauma and PTSD/C-PTSD
• Mental health challenges

Please listen at your own pace and prioritize your well-being.

Connect with Barbara

Follow Barbara on Instagram 

Buy Barabara books

Book 1 - https://amzn.to/49uI4Hs

Book 2 - https://amzn.to/4fN1I5d

Book 3 - https://amzn.to/4uysW4c

https://canva.link/9volf8vn68ucp1g - Feeling Wheel 

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/03/02/387007941/take-the-ace-quiz-and-learn-what-it-does-and-doesnt-mean - ACEs

beyondmommydearest.com 

https://checkout.square.site/merchant/MLVPR1DTKQG4P/checkout/IHYS6DJ4XJCQKFSKT5ROOVXH - Drop in Session - $19.99

https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/

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Why Teens May (Temporarily) Push Their Parents Away - https://www.fosteringresilience.com/article/why-teens-may-temporarily-push-their-parents-away

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

This Is Not In Your Head: The Neuroscience of Narcissistic Abuse

In this deeply validating and eye-opening episode, Noelani Pearl Hernandez sits down with Meghan Woods, Licensed MFT, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional II, and Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician, for a powerful conversation about the long-term impact of narcissistic abuse on the brain, nervous system, body, and identity.

Together, they unpack why survivors often struggle to trust themselves, how gaslighting rewires the brain, and why narcissistic abuse is so much more than “just emotional abuse.” Meghan explains how trauma bonds mimic addiction through neurochemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, cortisol, and adrenaline, leaving survivors trapped in cycles of confusion, hypervigilance, dissociation, and self-doubt.

This episode explores:

• Why survivors often think they are the narcissist
• How narcissistic abuse impacts the nervous system
• Trauma bonds and the addiction-like cycle of abuse
• Hypervigilance, dissociation, doomscrolling, and nervous system shutdown
• The connection between trauma, autoimmune disease, shingles, stress, and chronic illness
• Why healing is not linear
• The difference between talking about trauma and actually processing it
• EMDR and Internal Family Systems (IFS) explained in accessible language
• Why boundaries and no-contact can feel terrifying
• How unresolved childhood trauma shows up in adult romantic relationships
• The importance of rebuilding self-trust and listening to your gut
• Healthy communication, nervous system regulation, and “take a break” techniques for couples
• Why narcissistic abuse survivors are not weak, broken, or “too sensitive”
  
  

“This is not in your head. This is physiological. This is neurological. This is psychological.”

Whether you’re healing from a narcissistic parent, romantic partner, workplace, or high-control environment, this episode offers validation, education, and hope.

Meghan Woods is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Certified Clinical Trauma Professional II, and Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician specializing in trauma recovery, EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and narcissistic abuse treatment.

She is the founder of Connecting Pathways Trauma & Marriage Therapy Inc. and works with clients navigating trauma, attachment wounds, narcissistic abuse recovery, and nervous system healing.

Learn more about Meghan and her work at:
Connecting Pathways Trauma & Marriage Therapy Inc.

https://www.instagram.com/mwoodslmft/

Connect With Beyond Mommy Dearest

Beyond Mommy Dearest 

beyondmommydearest.com 

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https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/

https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearest

https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

Used in this episode 

Noelani’s Cup - https://amzn.to/3RlHA05

Heating Pad - https://shop.madeinsantacruz.com/page7.html

Axolotl Squishy Stress Relief Toy Glitter - https://amzn.to/4doyisK

If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need this conversation today. Healing happens in community. 💛

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

What do cult leaders and narcissistic mothers have in common?

More than most people realize.

In this gripping episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down with Mark Vicente for a powerful conversation about narcissistic abuse, coercive control, cult psychology, trauma bonds, and the shocking similarities between cult leaders and narcissistic family systems.

Mark shares how his experience inside a manipulative organization led him to become obsessed with understanding narcissism and emotional control. What began as a search for answers eventually became the foundation for The Narcissist Playbook, where he interviewed self-confessed narcissists in an attempt to finally understand the mindset behind manipulation, gaslighting, shame, and coercive control.

Noelani and Mark unpack the eerie parallels between cult leaders and narcissistic mothers, including:

• Love bombing and emotional conditioning
• Data mining and psychological manipulation
• Trauma bonding and control
• Gaslighting and self-doubt
• Shame as a weapon
• Idealism and exploitation
• Why survivors blame themselves
• Why narcissists target empathetic people
• The connection between cults and family systems
• Healing from narcissistic abuse
• Learning to trust yourself again
• Why boundaries are essential for survival

They also discuss the emotional aftermath of leaving manipulative systems, the grief that comes with realizing you were psychologically controlled, and how healing often requires rebuilding your relationship with yourself from the ground up.

This episode is validating, emotional, eye-opening, and deeply important for anyone recovering from narcissistic abuse, toxic family dynamics, coercive control, or cult-like relationships.

If you’ve ever asked yourself:
 “How did I not see it?”
 “Why do narcissists all operate the same way?”
 “Why do I still feel trapped emotionally?”
 “Why does this feel so similar to a cult?”

This episode is for you.

The Narcissitic Playbook 

Make a donation and get a early screening, May 30
 https://tinyurl.com/NarcissistsPlaybookNPH

The Vow - Learn more about NXIVM 

https://tinyurl.com/TheVowHBO

 Connect with Mark 

http://instagram.com/markvicente - Instagram

https://www.markvicente.com - Website
https://tinyurl.com/WhatTheBleepDoWeKnowBMD - What the Bleep Do we Know?  The Movie

Beyond Mommy Dearest 

beyondmommydearest.com 

https://checkout.square.site/merchant/MLVPR1DTKQG4P/checkout/IHYS6DJ4XJCQKFSKT5ROOVXH - Drop in Session - $19.99

https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/

https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearest

https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

Support the show

Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

What happens when love, manipulation, control, and confusion all exist in the same relationship?

In this deeply validating episode of Beyond Mommy Dearest, Noelani sits down with counselor and criminologist Shalina Lodhia to unpack the hidden realities of narcissism, coercive control, intergenerational trauma, and emotional abuse. Together, they explore how subtle manipulation slowly erodes self-trust, why survivors often blame themselves, and how the body keeps score long after the abuse begins.

Shalina shares how her own lived experience witnessing domestic violence and coercive control in her South Asian community led her into counseling and advocacy work. The conversation dives into trauma bonds, gaslighting, narcissistic family systems, emotional invalidation, and the exhausting cognitive dissonance survivors experience when kindness and cruelty coexist in the same relationship.

This episode also explores:

• The connection between narcissism and coercive control
• Why survivors constantly question themselves
• The subtle signs of emotional abuse most people miss
• How trauma shows up physically in the body
• Why self-blame becomes a survival mechanism
• The difference between healthy conflict and manipulation
• The long-term effects of chronic emotional stress
• Why narcissists rarely seek therapy
• How to begin rebuilding self-trust after abuse
• The importance of journaling and external anchors
• Why healing starts with internal validation

We discuss cultural silence around abuse in Filipino, South Asian, and immigrant communities, and why these conversations are critical for breaking intergenerational cycles.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering:
 “Is it me?”
 “Am I overreacting?”
 “Why do I feel anxious all the time around this person?”

This episode is for you.
 
 https://www.instagram.com/counsellorshalina

https://www.facebook.com/counsellorshalinalodhia/

https://tr.ee/SxQNVoVxt9 - Free Guide: Narcissism & Coercive Control

Beyond Mommy Dearest 

beyondmommydearest.com 

https://checkout.square.site/merchant/MLVPR1DTKQG4P/checkout/IHYS6DJ4XJCQKFSKT5ROOVXH - Drop in Session - $19.99

https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest/

https://www.tiktok.com/@beyond.mommy.dearest

https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

Male Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Story: Covert Narcissist Wife,  Gaslighting, Financial  Abuse & Smear Campaigns

🎙️ Abuse has no gender.

In this powerful episode of the Beyond Mommy Dearest Podcast, Noelani sits down with Doug Buggle, featured in The Narcissist Playbook, to talk about surviving covert narcissistic abuse, navigating the aftermath of psychological manipulation, and rebuilding self-trust after years of emotional chaos.

Doug shares his firsthand experience of being married to a covert narcissist, the confusion and trauma that followed, and the difficult journey through divorce and healing. Together, they unpack the difference between toxic relationships and true narcissistic abuse, how trauma impacts the nervous system, and why survivors often question their own reality long after the relationship ends.

The conversation also explores co-parenting, emotional safety, gaslighting, recovery, and what healthy relationships can actually look like after surviving abuse.

This episode is a reminder that survivors come in all genders and healing is possible.

✨ Topics Include:
• Covert narcissistic abuse
• Male survivors of abuse
• Gaslighting and psychological manipulation
• Trauma and nervous system responses
• Co-parenting after toxic relationships
• Rebuilding self-trust
• Healing from emotional abuse
• What healthy conflict looks like

🎧 New episode drops Friday.

Doug's Book - https://amzn.to/4dhDnSr

Doug's Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dougbuggle/

Beyond Mommy Dearest - https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

The Narcissist's Playbook purchase film - https://www.narcissistsplaybook.com/short-trailer-landing-page?utm_source=weeks_aff_hernandez

Heal with Beyond Mommy Dearest -  https://www.beyondmommydearest.org/monthlysupport

This episode's sponsored by https://thehappycannabus.com Promo code BMD20

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

When Your Own Family Betrays You: The Breaking Point That Leads to No Contact

In this episode, we’re talking about the kind of betrayal that changes everything.

Joy shares the moment she uprooted her life to take care of her family… only to be discarded without warning. No conversation. No accountability. Just a notice on her door giving her 30 days to leave.

This isn’t just about conflict.
 
 This is about calculated harm, control, and the reality of what happens when narcissistic family dynamics reach a breaking point.

We also dive into:
 • What it feels like to be used and then discarded
 • The guilt of being “the only one left” to take care of your parents
 • How narcissistic parents rewrite reality to justify their behavior
 • The moment clarity hits and you finally say, “I’m done”
 • What it takes to start healing after deep betrayal

This episode is raw, honest, and validating for anyone who has ever questioned their reality or stayed too long out of guilt.

Key Takeaways:

• Betrayal from family hits differently, especially when you’ve been conditioned to stay
• Narcissistic dynamics often involve control, tracking, and rewriting the narrative
• Guilt is one of the biggest barriers to going no contact
• You are not responsible for sacrificing your life to take care of people who harm you
• Walking away is not weakness, it’s clarity

If this episode resonated, make sure to follow, rate, and share with someone who needs to hear this.

Follow Joy: https://www.instagram.com/the.joy.edit/
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Buy the squish in the episode: https://amzn.to/3QTHgFt

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Reach out! You don't have to explain how crazy she was. We believe you!!!

Episode Summary

In this powerful and deeply validating conversation, Noelani sits down with Kylie B., author of The Narcissist’s Daughter, to explore what it really means to grow up with a narcissistic mother and the long road to healing.

Kylie shares her journey from confusion and self-blame to clarity, self-trust, and ultimately going no contact. Together, they unpack the emotional, psychological, and physical toll of narcissistic abuse—and what it takes to rebuild your identity when it’s been shaped by survival.

This episode is a reminder that healing is not linear, that your experience is real, and that you are not alone.

Key Topics Discussed

• What it’s like growing up without language for narcissistic abuse
• The moment everything “clicks” and you realize your experience isn’t normal
• The long, emotional process of going no contact
• Guilt, grief, and the internalized voice that follows survivors
• Rebuilding identity when you were never allowed to fully form one
• The impact of hypervigilance and emotional exhaustion
• Learning to trust your body and emotions again
• The role of chosen family and safe relationships in healing
• Inner child work and reconnecting with the self
• Why healing is a lifelong journey—not a destination

Important Links

Kylie’s Books

https://www.narcissistsdaughter.com

The Narcissist's Daughter : From Breakdown to Breakthrough - https://amzn.to/4mPYPCk

The Little Phoenix: A Story of Finding Home - https://amzn.to/3QsQgBk

Ellie the Little Phoenix: A Story of Finding Home - https://amzn.to/42wLoh7

The Phoenix Rising Journal Hardcover – https://amzn.to/3Oq5cQa

The Shuppy - https://www.instagram.com/reel/DWpXuzrDg27/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Social Media

https://www.instagram.com/beyondmommydearest/

https://www.instagram.com/narcissists_daughter/

https://www.facebook.com/BeyondMommyDearest

https://www.facebook.com/narcsdaughter

Drop in Session Special with Beyond Mommy Dearest - https://square.link/u/xLH1UGGe?src=sheet

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