Beyond the 1st Response

In this episode of Beyond the 1st Response, Christy and Robyn talk with Dispatcher and First H.E.L.P. volunteer about being a first responder child and becoming a first responde herself. 

North Hollywood Shootout

February 28th, 1997 became a day that changed many lives. Crystal was only 5 years old in when the infamous North Hollywood shootout occurred. On scene was her father Sgt. Israel Sonny Medina was an 18yr veteran of the Los Angeles Police Department. Sgt. Israel Sonny Medina was the Sergeant on shift on this day. Ultimately, having to make a decision no one was prepared for, and without the proper equipment. Officers were forced to go into local gun dealers and grab whatever they could to protect the community and themselves. This didn’t come without backlash, after the events that day many officers were part of a lawsuit. On the day that Crystal’s father was scheduled to testify in federal court, he didn’t show and a wellbeing check was done. Once they gained entry he was found deceased of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. The traumatic event alone didn’t cause Sgt. Israel Sonny Medina to take his life, but this was one of many that had piled up over the years. Following the North Hollywood shootout, Crystal can proudly state that her father was part of a policy change protecting officers by providing them the ability to carry semi-automatic weapons in their vehicles. 

First Responder Child

Being a first responder child, you often don’t know what your parent deals with every day at work and sometimes off shift. Street states her father like most first responders lived a life at work, and at home, he was at home. Though as a police officer this is something that was difficult at times, as he was involved in a shooting while off duty at a shopping mall. This is one of the meaningful reminders that your job doesn’t end when the shift is over. As a child, you know what your parent does as a job but when your parent tries to leave the job at work but the job doesn’t leave them it becomes very difficult to communicate. Although Crystal was only five years old at the time, she reflects back that she wished he would have talked more so that she and her siblings would have been able to understand, and they would have understood. 

What I Learned That Helps My Family Now

Crystal dreamed of following in her Dad’s footsteps as a police officer, but after getting injured at the academy she now serves as a dispatcher in Texas. She followed the steps of many first responders that sat in the aftermath of bad calls, finding herself drinking, and medicating to sleep. What changed for her, is she realized that she wanted to start having children and started back into therapy instead of turning to bottle therapy. Now that she has children, she has made it a priority to help them process when Mom comes home after a critical incident. What tools do you, or can you give your family to help them and help you? Allow your first responder to decompress, and explain to the kids, spouse, or significant other that you need some time after the shift to yourself. Explain that you had a hard day because of a bad call. They already know that you can’t release exact information about the call or scene, but they just want to know what is affecting you and how they can be there for you. Processing doesn’t always have to be a conversation, but time with your family after you decompress, and quickly it was a hard day but I am so happy to be here with you, let’s go do something fun together. 

Making Change is ToughYou don’t have to be just starting out as a first responder to benefit from tools to help you and your family. We know that change is tough, but it happens all the time. We suggest&

In this episode of Beyond the 1st Response, Christy and Robyn discuss with Bob Barc, a Firefighter, who has a passion for peer support and clearing the mental Rolodex

The Rolodex

Bob started his firefighting career in a small town. The lessons started there, along with many experiences that developed his understanding of clearing the mental Rolodex. The Brain is much like a Rolodex, it pushes things back, so it gets lost among other events in life that push the old farther back. Barc makes a point to remind us that we have to push it forward to clear it out.

Family Rolodex

What can we do to help our family understand the replay of the events? Add a card to the family's Rolodex explaining that when there is a difficult call or calls start adding up, we can get stuck in that time, making it difficult for us to talk about what we saw. If family has that card to pull out when we come home a little different, this will help us all.

Stranger Therapy

There is something to be said at times when it feels like we want to fix something or someone and can’t to talk with a stranger. Barc talks about times when you can have a conversation in the back of the ambo, letting that person know that you are there to listen and help them understand this is just a moment in time. Being able to remove any preconceived notions of personally knowing the person. When that person moves on the next step in that moment, they hopefully have some of the stress removed, because the conversation has helped them process what has happened. 

The Dinner Table

In a firehouse, everything is fixed at the table. Although, many things go unsaid that need to be released. Whether it is a call that just occurred or a build of struggles in someone's life. The dinner table is a place of no judgement and freedom to be open to the process. Regardless of where that dinner table sits, add it to the Rolodex on a card for you and your family. Pull that card as often as you can, so it keeps in the front of all the cards that are added during our life.  

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In this episode of Beyond the 1st Response, Christy and Robyn discuss with Mike Jones Police Officer, and Badge Brew Roaster the importance of finding grace in yourself, through proper processing and leadership.

Profiling The Coffee

At 22 years old and on the night shift, Mike would drink the 24-hour market coffee. Finding himself, adding more and more flavors, and sweeteners, just to get the coffee down. After starting at the Evanston police department, he started going into a local coffee house, where the owner began lining up a coffee taste test. Each time he would go into the shop, he would learn more about the process of blends, flavors, and the importance of roasting the coffee bean. Jones began to consider learning how to roast coffee beans. The process of roasting has become his way to slow down, calm down, and realize the day.

North Central College

Mike, began to go to North Central College, where the school has one of the three coffee roasting programs in the country. He has helped put on seminars for the students, along with getting to use the school's roaster to help roast his beans. 

Conversation Over Coffee Is A Morale Booster

Mood can affect the roast. If you bring the stress of the day into the roasting machine, the beans can become bitter, and not have the bold rich taste that is intended. Imagine, taking a moment, slowing your breath, calming your soul, and balancing your mind before you begin to make that coffee. Old beans that are forgotten in the roaster become mixed with the new layer of beans causing it to become difficult to get rid of the forgotten beans. Over time, not processing the events of your day, begin to fill up and mix together. Eventually the bitterness of your job, stress, family, and life begin to take over. Badge Brew has created a coffee that first responders can be proud of. Sitting around having a conversation as you sip the rich, warm, blend of coffee is a morale booster.

Asking For Help

When you reach the point of asking for help, it is already too late in the game according to Mike. As many first responders and their families know, the job becomes so demanding, that hobbies become non-existent.

Roasting Good Leaders

In today’s first responder world some leaders find it hard to think outside the coffee bean. If it has worked for the past 30 years, then why change it. This thinking has caused Evanston PD to think differently, starting from the bottom up. Leaders aren’t made, they are born and raised. As the younger officers sign on as police officers, the process of teaching them to lead begins, one bean at a time.

First Response Coffee

Badge Brew has created a coffee just for First H.E.L.P. every bag sold 10% of the proceeds are donated back to First H.E.L.P. find your badge of honor online today. Check out First Response in the Collab tab.

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In this episode of Beyond the 1st Response, Christy and Robyn discuss with retired Firemen/Police Officer Keith Contant. He talks about how he unknowingly was providing peer support. Contant now has taken that to a new level with his organization First Responder Peer Initiative

30 Years of Service

Keith spent 30 years as a Chicago Fireman and part-time Police Officer. Contant got to know how both fields deal with processing or not deal with processing the calls they go on. Struggling at times, he realized he had to change something in him. After his marriage and relationship with his kids fell apart, he started with the EAP via the City of Chicago network.

Seating at the Table versus Sitting in the Squad Car

After a call at a firehouse, you go back to the station and sit around the kitchen table and have a conversation about how the call went, what it made you feel like, and even sit in silence together. As a police officer, after a call, you get back into your squad often alone and key up for the next call. Never really processing the last call or how it made you feel. Keith as a police Sargent would sit behind a building, car to car, and talk with his officers. Processing the call, how it went, how it made him feel, and the officers would at times open up to him. As a superior, this is leadership that came naturally

Guns are pulled less often than a  Mental Health Crisis

The reality of how often an officer pulls their gun from the holster or even fires their weapon is rare. Keith mentions he knows cops in Chicago never even pulled their gun their entire career. Mental health struggles are completely different; this happens more often because of the lack of understanding and support.

Peer Support

I wish when I was younger I would have paid attention more~ Keith

It took longer than it should have to understand the importance of peer support. Contant talks about missing signs before getting help and not understanding the importance of having someone to talk to. Find the person you can be vulnerable with, another officer, fireman, family member, retired first responder, or a counselor. Providing support for First Responders is necessary, even more so from the beginning of their career. Coming together with the common struggles can help open up the conversation. First Responder Peer Initiative is there to help start that conversation and support each other. 

Mission BBQ

Keith’s girlfriend a community ambassador for Mission BBQ saw the difference he makes in First Responder's life. She started bringing him along to the visits to firehouses, police departments, and veterans centers for him to open the conversation and provide them, with someone, they can relate to. If there is anything we can do, be present in the conversation, allows them to speak, sit there, cry, or get angry, it will help save someone.

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In this episode of Beyond the 1st Response, Robyn and Christy have a discussion with Zion, IL Police Officer Matt Thornton. He talks about what it’s like to be working the very same streets on which he grew up. Thornton went from a cop in crisis to a cop in Christ, giving back to the new generation of street kids finding their way, through his non for profit My Father’s Business

Rookie Season:

It’s funny to hear a cop has a rookie season, but it is a season of a career that takes you from one extreme to another. Hitting the streets as a rookie was harder for Matt than most. With Thornton’s own family affiliated with the streets, after making it into the police department, the family turned away while some of the officers on the force turned their backs. Determined to prove himself, he forged forward. Matt rolls up on one of the biggest cases of his career; there had been a serial killer in the area and he struck in Matt’s hometown of Zion, brutally taking the lives of two young girls. While still on scene, a conversation was struck up and how seeing this affects the officers. A higher-ranking officer replied; “it’s not a big deal.” He learned quickly that day that showing emotion is not part of the job and the process of keeping everything bottled up began.

Shorthanded

The Department was shorthanded, making days long and the stress-levels high. Everything begins to pile up inside. “I have always done things to the extreme,” said Matt. Jim Beam was always a social thing before, but as it turns out, when the streets you protect become heavy with hours worked, it becomes more than just social. Ultimately, the choices he made wrecked his first marriage.

You Can’t Live Life with the Morals You Have at Work

Between three to five years into his job, his marriage has failed and the stress, pain, and depression have finally caught up with him. Matt began seeking help, but suicidal thoughts began to occur often. Planning when, where, and how was at the top of his mind. After a girlfriend walked and found the gun on his chest, she turned him in. His counselor asked him why can’t you live life with the morals that you have while at work? Truthfully, he loved my sins more than the good. 

The Sign

The plan was made to take his life. Letters were written to those he loved and hated. He had instructions on what song to play and what he wanted to wear in the casket. While on shift on a cold winter night, Matt went to a Walmart parking lot and began crying and screaming “God if this is not what I am supposed to do show me a sign!” Ready to follow through with his plan, he looks up, and sees a woman walking toward his squad car with something red in her hand, wiping his eyes, wondering why in the heck is this woman coming this way right now in the blustery cold weather? Matt rolls down his window and asks how he can help. Handing him a small,  object, she looks at him and says “You need this” then walks away. Looking down at the object was a small red cross. At that moment, he knew this was his sign.

The Badge Was Killing Me 

The badge was killing me, and because of that, I used it for evil. Now understanding what it was doing to him, he uses it for good by giving back to the community and helping street kids through his non-profit, My Father’s Business. Matt began writing a book alongside one of his mentees that tragically died by suicide in 2020.  His letters can be found in the forward of their book, Cop in Crisis to Cop in Christ. All proceeds go back to My Father’s Business.

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In this episode of Beyond the 1st Response, Robyn and Christy have a discussion with Chesapeake, VA Fire Captain Chris Moore about your mental bucket overflowing into a dark place. Chris opens up about his “mental bucket” overflowing and how he overcame this with the help of his family and his service dog Lewis.

Mental Bucket Overflow 

Having been a fireman for 19 years, in 2017 the stress of the job combined with daily life began to weigh him down. Darkness is the place many first responders sit and in those moments you feel the weight of the traumatic calls taking you places you didn’t know existed. Chris refers to the mind as a “bucket” and when it was not emptied, it eventually overflowed. `

A Chief Who Cares

In a department of 500 firefighters, the Chesapeake Fire Chief knows everyone by name and truly cares about his crew. Chief came to Chris in January of 2017 and asked to meet for lunch. Knowing he was not in a good place, Chris was confused and worried as to why the Chief wanted to meet. He was up for Captain and if the Chief knew of his struggles that could be his job so he turned the lunch down at first. However, after telling his wife he just made career suicide he changed his mind. To Chris’s surprise and relief, during their meeting they talked about where Chris’ mindset was at that time and his chief seemed truly understanding and invested in his well being.  As time goes on we are beginning to see this change from administrations across the country.

Therapists Are Like A Pair Of Shoes

In 2018 Chris began his journey of therapy and learning tools for a different mindset. He made the decision on his own to find a therapist that would work for him. Not all therapists understand first responders. ~Therapists are like a pair of shoes it is not one-size-fits-all ~Chris

It is ok to interview a therapist until you find the right fit, in fact, it is incredibly important to do this. As Chris began weekly sessions, he found that EMDR therapy worked for him. 

Lewis

Most people at work did not realize that Chris struggled with PTSI. Determined to overcome his pain, he was introduced to the non-profit Service dogs of Virginia. After a long screening process that included mounds of paperwork, a home visit to assure the space was appropriate, and family interviews, Chris took a trip to Charlottesville Virginia to meet the dogs, including the one that would eventually become his…Lewis. Concerned that they wouldn’t let him bring his new service dog to work, he lined up an ADA attorney prior to speaking with his Chief regarding his intentions. Ultimately, it was approved but only after an incredibly long and anxiety inducing wait period! Once Lewis’s training was complete, he was brought to Chris and has been by his side ever since 2020. Lewis brings so much more to everyone around him, although he cannot go on calls, when they get back, he checks in on Chris and is there for the other firemen. 

PTSI

PTSI is a daily struggle for both the first responder and their family. Working together to learn tools and find a therapist to help is one of the strongest steps you can take. Chris started the process on his own, but not everyone is able to. It’s ok to ask for help for yourself or for someone you know. Check out our resource tab for therapists near you. First H.E.L.P

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In this episode of Beyond the 1st Response, Robyn and Christy discuss what it looks like after you have a first responder suicide affect your home, the process of what goes through your head, and working to honor her husband with a line of duty death.

Robyn who is the marketing director for Red Help and co-host of Beyond the First Response has courageously shared her story with us… 

Eric and Robyn

Eric and Robyn were together for about 25 years, meeting in their twenties. The fire department was not is his first job. They went to college together and pursued careers in advertising, living in Oakland and commuting to San Fransico. Enjoying their careers and life, then 9/11 happened. Eric has an Uncle that is a retired fire captain, so the fire fighting urges flowed through his veins. He realized that he was never comfortable with sitting behind a desk and was always out of his comfort zone. A friend of his mentioned that he was going to start taking come fire science classes and a local community college. Eric felt the pull to attend the courses as well. He left his job and began his three-year journey to becoming a firefighter.

2005

After joining the Alameda County fire reserves he was hired to a department. Beginning a new career, new home, new life, and new baby on the way. Tragically, the pregnancy was lost and they had to deliver their stillborn baby girl. Burying a child is one of the toughest things a family will ever go through. Eric still being on probation during this made grief more stressful. Working at one of the stations that experienced extreme calls, and tragic events, Three years after the loss of their daughter, they gave birth to their son. 

Hindsight Being 2020

Looking back, 2018 things began coming to a head. Eric began to become more aggressive, drinking heavily and disappearing, home life became more isolating. Robyn, would confront Eric about the drinking and his disappearances, only for him to become more confrontational. Two months before Eric died, he disappeared again. Robyn reached out to a couple that they were friends with to help her search for him. Eric had been at a hotel drinking and wanted to take his life. Robyn had no idea how to help him. 

Fast forward, to June 24th, 2019, she came home after picking their son up from school, only to see that Eric was sitting on the couch with a bottle in his hand. Robyn told him she walking out to get some food (as a means to call someone for help) and will be right back. He said goodbye to her and walked into the bedroom.  This was the last interaction they had…  

I had no idea how any of this works

Sitting in a hotel room, that Alameda County set up for Robyn and her son until they could find a place to live. She was given an attorney’s name and they spoke in-depth about the years before. Eric had PTSI, now they worked on getting the benefits of a line of duty death. Robyn not only was able to succeed in this, she and her son also accepted the medal of honor from the IAFF for the line of duty death. 

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On this episode of Beyond the 1st Response, Robyn and Christy discuss the families left behind in the wake of a first responder parent’s suicide and how the kids can take the brunt of the trauma. Tiffany and her son Kyle lost Officer John Scollo to suicide on May 25th, 2015. 

May 25th, 2015

John served as an officer in Florida, while Tiffany and Kyle lived in Ohio. When Tiffany’s phone rang asking if she had spoken to John she thought nothing of it since they had talked earlier that day. Knowing he had gone to the ER earlier that day for stomach pain she assumed a miscommunication. In reality, John had left the hospital and proceeded to take his family, friends, and 12 year old son Kyle on a frantic journey to prevent his death. Kyle not only lost his dad this day, but also himself.

Grief, Anger, Violence

Over the next four years, Kyle becomes aggressive, angry, and violent. Tiffany had no choice but to go to drastic measures to help Kyle. After reaching out to many places and trying different counselors she found Elements Wilderness Program. This program gives struggling children tailored treatment to help them build skills to overcome trauma.

Today

With a renewed sense of self, Kyle recently graduated from National Guard Bootcamp. With her focus now being on her own healing, Tiffany receives help for her PTSD. The two have come to realize as alone as they felt, they always have each other.

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EP 12: Joe Willis - From Military Police To Breaking The Stigma of Mental Health

In this episode of Beyond the 1st Response, Robyn and Christy talk with First H.E.L.P. CLO, Joe Willis. We hit on everything from his family roots deeply embedded in the first responder world to his own path to becoming an MP to following his passion of educating others about first responder mental health. 

First Responder Family

The first responder profession practically runs through Joe’s veins with his dad being a fireman and his mom a nurse. Joe initially wanted to be a fireman like dad but ultimately decided to join the military as an MP. To this day, he recalls his Dad’s first major event, a fire that ended in fatalities. He also remembers one of his guys struggling and how that affected how he did his job. 

Meeting Karen Solomon at a conference 

Joe began speaking at conferences after retiring from the military. At one of them he heard a speaker that had a passion for helping police officers with understanding mental health and the prevention of suicides. Karen Soloman caught the attention of not only the entire audience but something in Joe that made him aware he needed to learn more. After following Karen on social media, he began engaging in conversation and ultimately stepping into the role of Learning Chief Officer on the executive board on First H.E.L.P. 

Smashing the Stigma

Joe has helped to create a curriculum that First H.E.L.P. is taking into First Responder departments all over the country. The First Responder Readiness course for Supervisors is changing the way our departments are viewing mental health. However, as with all culture shifts, breaking the Stigma takes time. By having these conversations one department at a time Joe hopes to drive home the message of #SoWhat if there is a conversation at the firehouse dinner table about that call that hit home? #SoWhat if you have to take your headset off and walk away for a moment? It’s ok to take that time and process the call, it’s ok that the call hit you differently than someone else. 

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**Trigger Warning**


EP 11: Nate Fisher - Firearm Malfunction #BT1R

On this episode of Beyond the 1st Response, Robyn and Christy discuss what surviving a suicide attempt taught Nate Fisher, a retired police officer, active U.S National Guardsmen, and host of Surviving the Streets.

Nate’s childhood dream was to be a police officer and when that was achieved, he felt he had everything. His career spanned titles like Tactical Airman, SWAT, and servicing the streets of Houston TX. Inevitably, the work began to take its toll on his personal life. An effort to make some changes in hopes of saving his marriage was futile…the job had worn him down. Nate was about to hit his breaking point and then an accident that took the life of his partner changed his world forever.

Rolling Up on the Scene

Nate was the first officer on scene to find his partner stuck in his squad car. As he stood up to radio it in, he felt what he thought was his partner's pulse but quickly realized the pulse he felt was his own. The overwhelming guilt of feeling that he, as a trained officer, should not have made that kind of mistake became too much for him to bear. Putting his Glock to his head as his son slept in an upstairs room and his wife watching, Nate pulled the trigger. The gun malfunctioned. Glocks never malfunction. He tried again, and nothing. 

Horses

Nate currently uses equine therapy and is passionate about touting its benefits along with current partner Sharon. Hanging out on her farm he easily discovered the healing power of horses and advocates this method as another tool first responders can utilize to work their way back from the grips of PTSD. 

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