Hi. I'm a beginner. By that I mean curious, enthusiastic, a learner, playful. I don't have everything sussed out. Would you want to be any other way? The world seems to expect that though - flawless experts who get things right first time, every time. I see it in politics, industry and other walks of life.

This was prompted by soon launching my own improv/authentic relating inspired workshops, and noticing the fears, hesitance, shame and doubts that get in the way of doing fun stuff we really care about.

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Hope you don't mind me nudging the podcast into edgier territory but here we go... Some reflections on my experiences of the great leveller, what it revealed to me about life, myself and others. We'll also go deeper into expectations and responsibility too, what motivates us and who you truly are when things turn bleak. There's hope too. Recorded on the anniversary of my mum's death, Dorothy Kenworthy who died in 2005.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

At the beginning of most days I check-in with myself by wondering who's showing up inside - urges, desires, feelings sensations and mental preoccupations. We call these our parts, and getting to know them, helping them feel seen and heard, is undoubtedly one of the most helpful practices I have for feeling more present, happier and hopeful about the day ahead. I explore all this, how I do it and why in this episode.

Listen to 'Something to help when you're overwhelmed or need motivation' episode for the guided technique I mention here.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

I could be way off here - drawing parallels between substance abuse, and that urge to perpetually do and make, that drives people like us. But maybe there's something to this. The fact is that excessive productivity and progress destroys relationships and wellbeing, just like any other compulsive behaviour. What do you reckon?

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One of my favourite improv principles, and one those of us with a tendency to pragmatism and practicality, would do well to remember. This one's all about gravitating towards that which makes life worth living, when we're faced with choices about what to do next and how to do it.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

There are competing urges in each of us - motivations, needs, pulling us in different directions. Most of the time, we don't notice. Sometimes, it's like having your mind torn apart by all out warfare. Here's some reflections from a recent experience of mine, and some discoveries about how loneliness, connection and expectations play into all this.

Links:

Podcast on loneliness: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vd2NkaHQ/episode/ZDgxYWEyNWMtMmE1OS0xMWVkLWIxYTYtODMwOGEyOWUyY2Jl?ep=14

The inimitable Anya Pearse: https://www.anyapearse.com/

When you're neither in nor out on the day ahead, it's possible to kind of halfheartedly do all the things, instead of committing your attention to one thing deserving of it, or checking out altogether because you need some R&R.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

It could be a faceless voice, all cynical and nit-picky about everything that’s wrong. Maybe it’s a fully fleshed out character in your mind’s eye - a haughty, enthroned judge sat above everyone and everything, passing its uninvited verdicts.

Do you have one? Or two? Three?

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

Some days, events, arbitrary points in time come with emotional baggage. For me it's Mondays, a heaviness, a melancholic sigh, and the dread of expectation. Which is totally at odds with reality. This one's all about the emotional undercurrents that, if we're not aware of, can rule us. Here's how I'm working with Mondays, after years of resistance.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com

When a DIY job begins to turn sour, Chris gets his 1000th lesson in knowing when to back away because he's hungry/angry/lonely/tired. This one's all about feeling into our tendency to get swept along with the relentless, forward motion of productivity.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit chriskenworthy.substack.com