Divorce Coaches Academy

Beyond the Battle: Why High Conflict Divorce Coaching is Missing the Mark


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The divorce coaching industry harbors a dangerous trend that's causing unnecessary harm to families across the country. In this eye-opening episode, Debra and Tracy tackle the phenomenon of "high-conflict divorce coaching" – an approach that frames every challenging divorce as a battle requiring warfare tactics rather than resolution strategies.

We pull back the curtain on what legitimate professional divorce coaching actually is and contrast it with the predatory marketing of high-conflict approaches that capitalize on fear. These programs effectively encourage clients to spend more money on their divorce, complicate the process, extend timelines, and create lasting damage – all while promising to help them "win" against their ex.

Through real-life examples, we reveal the staggering financial and emotional costs of choosing the high-conflict route. One client spent $80,000 on legal fees and was two years into her divorce without even reaching a temporary agreement – not because of complex assets or genuine safety concerns, but because both parties had adopted a battle mindset. We discuss how this approach operates on flawed assumptions: that you can change your spouse's behavior, that every difficult divorce involves a personality-disordered individual, and that being in constant "defense mode" is necessary.

As an alternative, we outline what to look for in a divorce coach or training program: someone focused on resolution rather than winning, who emphasizes communication strategies, emotional regulation, and clear decision-making. The truth is that the outcomes are typically the same whether you take the high-conflict route or a more measured approach – the only difference is you haven't spent years in litigation or hundreds of thousands of dollars unnecessarily.

Whether you're navigating divorce yourself, supporting someone who is, or considering becoming a divorce coach, this conversation provides crucial guidance for making choices that truly serve your long-term goals and your well being.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Divorce Coaches AcademyBy Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak

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