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Feeling unheard or misunderstood by their divorce professionals can add another layer of stress to an already challenging process for our clients. What happens when their attorney seems dismissive or their forensic accountant isn't addressing their concerns? More importantly, how can you help your client effectively advocate for themselves without damaging these critical professional relationships?

This episode tackles one of the most persistent challenges we see clients face: conflict with the very professionals they've hired to support them. Tracy and Debra explore this delicate territory with practical wisdom, offering a framework for both divorce coaches and their clients to navigate these situations effectively. Rather than simply validating frustrations, we examine how to transform these moments into opportunities for developing lifelong conflict resolution skills.

At the heart of our approach is the understanding that most professional conflicts stem from misalignments in communication styles, expectations, or priorities—not sabotage. We break down specific techniques like creating "conflict prep sheets," practicing non-violent communication, and managing emotional reactivity when power dynamics feel intimidating. These tools help clients move from feeling victimized to becoming empowered advocates for their needs.

The skills developed through addressing these professional relationship challenges extend far beyond divorce. When clients learn to assert themselves effectively with their attorney or accountant, that newfound confidence transfers to negotiations, co-parenting, workplace interactions, and countless other relationships. As we often say, communication is both the source of conflict and its solution—making these skills among the most valuable tools we can provide our clients.

Whether you're a divorce coach looking to better support clients through professional relationship challenges or someone navigating your own divorce journey, this episode offers actionable strategies for turning conflict into opportunity. Ready to transform how you approach difficult conversations? Listen now and discover why we consider ourselves "conflict junkies" who believe in the life-changing potential of mastering these essential skills.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Navigating the stormy waters of divorce conflict requires more than good intentions—it demands specific skills, awareness, and strategies. Tracy and Debra tackle this crucial topic that affects every divorcing couple at some point, revealing the true costs that extend far beyond legal fees.

When people enter conflict during divorce, their nervous systems shift into survival mode. In this dysregulated state, rational decision-making becomes nearly impossible. As we explain, "When emotion is high, intelligence is low"—a reality demonstrated perfectly by Will Smith's Oscar slap and its decade-long consequences. This reactivity creates a cascade of costs: financial (skyrocketing legal bills over sometimes minor issues), emotional (prolonged psychological distress), relational (damaged co-parenting dynamics), and generational (children who absorb and internalize conflict patterns). Most painfully, high-conflict divorces can stretch for years, preventing everyone from moving forward.

Properly trained divorce coaches occupy a unique position to break this cycle. Unlike attorneys or therapists, we help clients develop self-awareness about their conflict styles, recognize triggers, and build practical communication skills like BIFF responses (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm). The exciting reality is that it only takes one person changing the way they engage in conflict to transform the entire dynamic. Through techniques like conflict mapping, coaches help clients shift from feeling victimized to recognizing their agency and options. For co-parents especially, these skills prove invaluable as they navigate relationships that continue long after legal proceedings conclude.

Ready to deepen your conflict resolution skills? Join our six-week deep dive into the RESOLVE framework starting September 15th. Whether you're a DCA certified coach looking to expand your expertise or a coach certified elsewhere seeking foundational conflict training, we have options for you. Contact us at [email protected] to learn how you can help your clients move from reactivity to intentional response.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Ready for some straight talk about building a divorce coaching practice? Forget the overnight success stories you've seen on social media. The path to a thriving practice follows a predictable pattern that requires patience, consistency, and strategic action.

Tracy and Debra break down the four distinct phases every successful divorce coach navigates. The Foundation Phase (months 1-3) is all about behind-the-scenes work – establishing your niche, setting up systems, and creating your brand. Though clients aren't flooding in yet, this groundwork is essential. Next comes the Visibility Phase (months 3-9), where you're networking, creating content, and often feeling like you're "shouting into the void." This is where many coaches get discouraged, but perseverance during this period builds the trust and recognition that eventually leads to clients.

The Growth Phase (months 9-18) brings your first consistent clients and referrals but also requires you to think like a CEO. Systems need refinement, continuing education becomes crucial, and mentorship can accelerate your progress. Finally, the Scaling Phase (18+ months) is when things "really start to click" – your practice becomes sustainable, and you can explore group programs or digital offerings without burning out.

What makes this journey manageable? Community support, realistic expectations, and celebrating small wins along the way. Whether you're just starting out or somewhere along this path, remember that building a profitable practice is absolutely possible – just not overnight. What small step can you take today toward building your sustainable divorce coaching business?

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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"Nesting" sounds like the perfect solution when parents divorce – children stay in the comfort of their family home while mom and dad are the ones who rotate in and out. But what happens when one parent returns to find empty refrigerators, piles of dirty laundry, and dust bunnies the size of a softball? Tracy and Debra discuss both the promises and the pitfalls of this increasingly popular custody option.

We unpack the logistics of maintaining multiple households, the financial strain this arrangement can create, and the exceptional level of communication required between separating spouses. From locked bedroom doors in shared apartments to negotiations about who buys the groceries, the seemingly small details often become major sticking points that can derail even the most well-intentioned nesting plans.

While nesting can provide children with stability during the turbulence of divorce, it requires parents to honestly assess whether their co-parenting relationship can handle this unique arrangement. We share real client experiences, practical coaching strategies for evaluating if nesting aligns with your values, and crucial questions to consider before agreeing to this setup. For those willing to create clear agreements and boundaries, nesting might offer a compassionate transition period – but it's rarely a permanent solution.

Whether you're contemplating this arrangement for your family or supporting clients through divorce as a coach, this discussion provides realistic guidance on when nesting works, when it doesn't, and how to set clear expectations from the beginning. If you've had experience with nesting arrangements, we'd love to hear about it – connect with us through social media or at divorcecoachesacademy.com to share your insights.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Compassion fatigue silently affects countless divorce coaches—many don't even realize they're experiencing it until they're deep in burnout territory. Tracy and Debra tackle this critical topic by explaining how the very empathy that makes coaches effective can become their downfall without proper boundaries.

The conversation dives into what compassion fatigue actually looks like in real coaching scenarios—that emotional exhaustion when you can't stop thinking about a client's problems, the way you might feel angry on behalf of a client, or how certain sessions leave you completely drained. These aren't just normal professional challenges; they're warning signs that your professional container needs reinforcement.

What makes this episode particularly valuable is the practical framework Tracy and Debra provide for maintaining a sustainable coaching practice. They introduce the concept of the "professional container"—both external (how you structure your practice) and internal (how you manage your mindset and emotional responses). This container isn't about distancing yourself from clients' pain but rather creating boundaries that allow you to provide consistent, clear-headed support without absorbing their trauma.

The most powerful insight comes when they assert: "Empathy without containment becomes contagion." This perspective shift alone could transform how coaches approach their work. Rather than seeing boundaries as limitations on caring, Tracy and Debra reframe them as the essential infrastructure that makes deep, sustainable compassion possible.

Whether you're new to divorce coaching or a seasoned professional who's feeling the weight of client struggles, this episode offers concrete strategies to strengthen your practice—from establishing rituals of release between sessions to engaging in regular peer support and continuing education. These aren't just self-care luxuries; they're professional necessities for anyone committed to this emotionally demanding field.

Curious about strengthening your professional container? Visit divorcecoachesacademy.com to explore our training programs, case consultation groups, and professional development opportunities designed specifically for divorce coaches who want to bring their best selves to this important work.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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The search for emotional justice can become an invisible prison for those navigating divorce. While completely understandable, this pursuit often keeps people tethered to pain long after legal proceedings conclude.

Debra and Tracy dive deep into why clients become fixated on making their ex-partners acknowledge wrongdoing, apologize sincerely, or face consequences. They explore the neurological reality behind this pattern—how the brain remains in a heightened state of stress, treating emotional injury as an ongoing threat that must be resolved. This explains why many divorced individuals spend months or even years mentally rehearsing arguments or crafting the perfect message that might finally make their ex understand.

The cost of this fixation is staggering. Beyond precious time wasted, children absorb the tension and learn unhealthy conflict resolution skills. Financial decisions suffer, careers stall, and social relationships deteriorate as friends grow weary of repetitive grievances. Most critically, this pursuit hands continued power to the very person who caused harm, creating a form of voluntary emotional imprisonment.

Through case studies and practical examples, the hosts share powerful coaching strategies to help clients reclaim their agency. These include redirecting energy toward future possibilities, conducting "energy audits" to reveal how much mental bandwidth is being wasted, separating practical accountability measures from emotional justice outcomes, and developing internal validation skills. They explain why completion ceremonies, justice letters, and redefining "winning" can be transformative.

Moving beyond the need for emotional justice doesn't mean pretending the hurt didn't happen. Rather, it means choosing freedom over vindication and self-determination over dependency. As Tracy and Debra powerfully articulate, the most profound justice often comes not from making an ex-partner acknowledge wrongdoing, but from creating a life so vibrant and fulfilling that their opinion no longer matters—showing your children what a true comeback looks like.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Cracking the code on client acquisition is perhaps the most common challenge facing divorce coaches at every stage of their careers. In this candid, strategy-packed episode, Debra and Tracy tackle the question they hear most frequently: "How do I find clients?" Drawing from years of experience building successful practices and mentoring coaches, they reveal seven powerful, field-tested strategies that go far beyond superficial marketing tactics.

At the heart of their approach lies a fundamental truth—successful client acquisition in divorce coaching depends on authentic relationship-building rather than flashy marketing schemes. Tracy and Debra emphasize the importance of defining your ideal client avatar with precision, explaining that "specificity is your superpower" in connecting meaningfully with potential clients. They share that approximately 70-80% of successful coaches find clients through strategic referral partnerships with professionals ranging from attorneys and therapists to hairstylists and personal trainers—essentially anyone your ideal client might confide in during their divorce journey.

The conversation flows through practical digital marketing approaches (including website essentials and content creation), community involvement strategies, directory listings, testimonial gathering, and follow-up systems. Throughout, Debra and Tracy punctuate their advice with real-world examples from their own experiences and those of coaches in their community. Their guidance is refreshingly honest, acknowledging that building a coaching practice takes patience and persistence, especially in a field where clients need to trust you with such vulnerable aspects of their lives.

Whether you're just starting out or looking to grow an established practice, this episode provides a roadmap for connecting with the clients who need your services most. Join the Divorce Coaches Academy community for ongoing support, case consultation, and practice-building guidance from coaches who've successfully navigated the path you're on.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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What does it really mean to be "trauma-informed" as a divorce coach? Beyond the buzzword, there's a profound responsibility to understand how trauma impacts our clients without overstepping our professional boundaries.

Tracy and Debra dive deep into this increasingly popular term, clarifying that being trauma-informed isn't about taking one class or having experienced trauma yourself. Rather, it's developing a working knowledge of how trauma affects the brain, nervous system, and behavior—then intentionally creating safety in your coaching relationships.

For divorce coaches, this understanding is crucial because divorce itself can be traumatizing. When clients apologize for crying, speak rapidly and scattered, or seem emotionally detached, these are often trauma responses. The magic happens not by diving into past wounds (that's therapy's domain), but by offering a different experience: one where clients feel heard, respected, and empowered to access their own wisdom.

The most powerful revelation? Properly trained divorce coaches are already practicing trauma-informed care through client autonomy, co-regulation, and appropriate boundaries. When a client has experienced controlling relationships, simply asking "What feels right for you?" helps rebuild agency. When someone is emotionally dysregulated, your calm presence can help settle their nervous system enough to think clearly.

Ready to strengthen your trauma-informed approach? Focus on continued learning about neuroscience, develop self-awareness around your triggers, participate in regular supervision, and remember that your presence—grounded in curiosity and compassion—is your most powerful tool. You don't need to be a trauma expert to create safety; you just need to honor your client's humanity and pace.

Curious how this applies to your coaching practice? Connect with us on social media or at divorcecoachesacademy.com. Want to deepen these skills? Join our affordable case consultation group that meets twice monthly. Your commitment to this approach isn't just professional excellence—it's transformative for clients navigating one of life's most challenging transitions.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Endings matter as much as beginnings in coaching relationships. Yet how many of us have let client relationships simply fade away without proper closure? In this deeply personal conversation, Tracy and Debra explore how thoughtfully designed "exit sessions" can transform the conclusion of coaching relationships from awkward goodbyes into powerful graduations that honor client growth.

Tracy shares her proven "Five R's" framework—Reflection, Recognition, Resources, Road Ahead, and Relationship—which provides a structured approach to celebrating progress, acknowledging challenges overcome, and equipping clients for continued success. Through heartfelt examples, the hosts reveal why these sessions often trigger emotional responses from both clients and coaches alike. As Tracy explains, "I have absolutely gotten emotional during exit sessions... not because I'm sad it's ending, but because I am truly proud of what my client has accomplished."

Beyond the emotional benefits, the hosts discuss the practical advantages of offering exit sessions as complimentary services that demonstrate a commitment to client transformation rather than ongoing dependency. This approach reinforces the coaching philosophy of empowering clients to become their own best advocates while simultaneously creating powerful referral sources.

Whether you're a seasoned divorce coach or just beginning your practice, this episode offers actionable strategies for implementing meaningful closure in your client relationships. Start small with reflective questions or adopt the complete framework—either way, your clients will remember how you made them feel in that final conversation. Ready to transform your practice with intentional endings? Listen now and discover how to help your clients truly "graduate" from coaching with dignity, confidence, and the tools they need for their journey ahead.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Facing divorce and wondering what happens to your home? The decision to keep or sell the marital residence could be the most significant financial choice you make during your divorce—and getting it wrong might haunt you for years.

Tami Wollensak, a divorce mortgage specialist with over 25 years of experience and certified divorce coach, pulls back the curtain on what really happens with mortgages during divorce. She reveals why so many people make catastrophic financial mistakes when it comes to the family home, often because they receive guidance from well-meaning professionals who lack specialized mortgage knowledge.

Throughout our conversation, Tami breaks down complex concepts into practical insights: the true definition of home equity, how support payments affect mortgage qualification, and why your current mortgage payment bears little resemblance to what you might pay after divorce. She shares her own post-divorce homeownership struggles and offers a refreshingly honest take on why renting might be the smarter option for many.

Most crucially, Tami explains the specific timing requirements for using support income to qualify for mortgages—information that even many attorneys don't understand. Did you know child support payments must be court-ordered, received consistently for six months, AND have at least 36 months remaining to count toward mortgage qualification? This single detail could make or break your ability to keep your home.

Whether you're a divorce professional helping clients navigate this terrain or someone personally facing these decisions, this episode provides the mortgage literacy needed to avoid costly mistakes. Discover why consulting a divorce mortgage specialist early in the process could be the difference between post-divorce financial stability and distress.

Ready to make informed decisions about your biggest asset? Tami is licensed in 32 states and has a team that can help with mortgage lending in all 50 states. She would be happy to chat.

You can find Tami:

Website: takeorleavethehouse.com

Instagram: tami_wollensak

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]