By Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak
Divorce Coaches Academy podcast hosts Tracy Callahan and Debra Doak are on a mission. We discuss topics to help professional divorce coaches succeed with clients and meet their business goals and w
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The podcast currently has 135 episodes available.
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At DCA, we share a vision that couples would have the ability to rearrange and restructure their relationships and their families in a way that leads to wholeness and happiness. Divorce is often seen as an end—an ending to a marriage, an ending to a chapter of life. But what if it didn’t have to be a painful, adversarial process? What if divorce could be approached with intention, healing, and collaboration, with the goal of not just separating, but rebuilding lives in a healthy, sustainable way?
In today’s episode, we explore the idea of restorative divorce—an approach that focuses on healing, mutual respect, and long-term well-being for both partners. We’ll dive into how this process works, how it differs from adversarial divorce, and why we believe it’s a better way forward.
We wrestle with the concept that divorce creates a broken home, discuss the recent addition of CAPRD (Child Affected by Parental Relationship Disorder) to the DSM IV, and outline the six elements of a restorative divorce process.
As opposed to traditional divorce that focuses on winning, a restorative divorce process is an alternative that can reduce harm, encourage positive outcomes, and support healthier post-divorce relationships for everyone involved.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]
Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)
We’re taking a detour from our planned topic today because we think it's time critical to talk about the implications of eliminating no-fault divorce. Based on this week's election results, as divorce professionals we need to be thinking about, discussing, and preparing for another potential shift in the landscape of divorce.
No-fault divorce has been around for decades, but there's been a growing push in some places to repeal it. But what would happen if we eliminated no-fault divorce? How would it change the dynamics of marriages, families, and even the legal system? Well, that's what we're exploring today.
Tracy and Debra talk through the potential implications of reinstating fault divorce including the impact on conflict, cost, our court systems and children.
The debate is complex, and there are no easy answers. But it’s important to keep discussing it and to think critically about the consequences—for the individuals and families involved, for you as a divorce professional, and for society as a whole.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]
Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)
We've talked previously about the problem cycle (see episode #69), but recently learned about the 3 poisons in Buddhism and they seem particularly applicable to some of the issues we see in divorce and co-parenting.
In his early teachings, the Buddha identified “three poisons” or three negative qualities of the mind that cause most of our problems—and most of the problems in the world.
So in this week's episode, Tracy and Debra are going to see if we can’t use some of this ancient wisdom to gain insight into shifting clients out of the problem cycle or suffering, into a mindset more grounded in acceptance and action.
Listen in as we discuss how these 3 poisons show up in divorce and ways to apply the antidotes.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]
Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)
One of the most emotional and difficult parts of divorce can be negotiating parenting plans - especially for co-parents who are experiencing a high degree of conflict. We shared a statistic last week that 80% of the family court calendar is taken up by custody matters and frankly that breaks our hearts. Because we know that parental conflict is the #1 reason children are negatively impacted in the divorce process.
Today, we discuss why we believe a thorough and detailed parenting plan is the most effective way to help conflicted co-parents prevent future disagreements and future litigation.
An effective parenting plan goes well beyond just parenting time schedules and expense sharing, but encourages parents to discuss the many details of raising children together. Regardless of how parents feel about each other, the fact is that they will be family for life. As anyone with adult children knows, parenting doesn’t stop when a child turns 18.
We often hear that attorneys push back on discussing or documenting any agreements that aren’t supported by the legal statutes. The typical response is “That’s not enforceable”. And we get it - lawyers are focused on the legal aspects of a divorce case. But as divorce coaches, we take a more holistic approach and are interested in helping families transition so they are able to co-parent effectively.
Listen in as we chat about why we believe that changing the experience of divorce for families means moving beyond the legal minimum requirements and developing a comprehensive plan that works for each family.
Conflicted Co-Parenting Training Begins Nov 4 --> Learn More and Enroll
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]
Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)
We consistently say that all divorce involves conflict. Even in the most amicable divorce, couples aren’t likely to agree on everything. But one area that seems to spur the most conflict is co-parenting. We recently read that 80% of the court’s time is taken up by custody matters which tells us that co-parenting and making decisions about children is a hot button topic.
So today we're exploring one aspect that contributes heavily to co-parenting conflict and that’s when people have difficulty transitioning from stakeholders in each other’s lives to business partners. Moving from being a couple to being co-parents is a shift that can take time and requires both parents to focus on what’s best for their children instead of what’s important to them.
We get into common triggers and obstacles, talk a bit about gatekeeping and alienation, and walk you through a real life client scenario.
If you're a certified divorce coach and want to learn more about supporting co-parents who are having difficulty, we'll be starting a 6-week co-parenting intensive beginning the week of November 4.
Learn more about becoming a DCA® Conflicted Co-Parenting Divorce Coach
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]
Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)
When we talk with prospective students and new students, we get a lot of questions about what’s it’s really like to start a career as a professional divorce coach. So today, Christina Stone is going to give us all a behind the scenes look at what that journey is really like.
Christina is a Certified ADR Divorce coach and if that name sounds familiar, it’s because she also happens to be our Operations Coordinator here at DCA so you may have been in communication with her at some point.
Today Christina and Debra are sharing some truth and busting some myths about starting a career as a divorce coach. It is truly a viable career, but as Christina will tell you...it takes persistence, patience and a plan.
While there are exceptions, the majority of new divorce coaches do not make $60 or $70k their first year out and anyone who tells you something different has an agenda. But you can get there by staying focused on your goals, being part of a divorce coaching community, and continuing to learn and hone your skills.
We hope you enjoy getting to know Christina and we are thrilled to have her as part of the DCA community and team.
You can find Christina at:
Email: [email protected]
Website: cnfewcoaching.net
Instagram: c.n.fewcoaching
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]
Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)
Being a solopreneur is hard. Being a solopreneur in a new industry is even harder. It takes a lot of focus, intention, and community support to build a successful practice as a new divorce coach.
We say it every week in the podcast intro because we mean it. We are committed to the success of our DCA trained divorce coaches and we provide so many ways for coaches in our community to connect, learn, and grow.
Why are we so passionate about offering these kinds of opportunities for our coaches? Because we are simultaneously focused on raising the standards of practice for the profession and ensuring that properly trained coaches stay in the industry.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra discuss all the ways DCA demonstrates their commitment to the coaches in our community including:
We are personally invested in and committed to every single coach in our community. The world needs more properly trained and credential divorce coaches and we're here to support you every step of the way.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]
Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)
One thing that seems to be certain in divorce is that no one gets everything they want. Most walk away feeling like they had to give up more than their share in order to get to a final agreement. Rarely do we hear a client say they thought the settlement was 100% fair and equitable. Most everyone feels like they got the short end of the stick.
So in this episode we dive into this idea of “fairness” and talk about how it can cause problems or create obstacles when it comes to getting to a final resolution. And we offer some coaching strategies for working with clients who get stuck in their own definition of "fairness".
Many clients start out saying “I just want what’s fair”. The trouble is that rarely will their spouse have the same definition of fair. We joke that “fair” is the 4-letter F word in divorce because what you think is fair, what I think is fair, and what the legal system thinks is fair can be wildly different.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra discuss the concept of fairness and justice and how expanding our definition of what's "fair" may be the key to finally reaching an agreement everyone can feel OK about.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]
Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)
Divorce is hard enough with all the emotional turmoil, big challenges, and important decisions. It's even more difficult when your partner is intentionally working against you. But even more troublesome is when clients are working against themselves, so in this episode we're talking about self-sabotage.
We discuss how to recognize it, and more importantly, how to support clients who are engaging in self sabotaging behavior that may be preventing them from reaching their desired goal or outcome.
Self-sabotage is a completely normal human behavior and shows up frequently in divorce and co-parenting as a result of fear of the unknown, perfectionism, lack of self belief, resistance to change, or learned behaviors.
Overcoming self-sabotage requires a combination of self-awareness, self-compassion, and intentional effort - all things divorce coaches are great at supporting our clients with.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk through why self-sabotage happens and how you can work with clients in self-destruct mode to get them on a better path.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]
Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)
Good storytelling is a powerful tool for creating connection, building trust, and communicating ideas and concepts. However, when it comes to divorce coaching, storytelling can be a mixed bag. And a common mistake we see coaches make is oversharing about their own personal experiences.
In this episode, we discuss when and how it is appropriate to share personal stories with clients. While it’s well-intentioned, it’s also important to be mindful about when and how we share personal stories with clients.
Our words of caution...there are two ways storytelling can muddy the waters when it comes to our coaching relationships. First, sharing too much from our personal lives can take the focus off the client and put the spotlight back on the coach. And second, clients look to us as the expert so those stories might be interpreted as directive or advice giving.
Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk about why intention matters when it comes to storytelling in divorce coaching.
Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:
Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]
The podcast currently has 135 episodes available.