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Fair can feel like justice. In divorce, it often becomes a trap. In this episode, we sat down with attorney and managing partner Sara Marler to explore why “I just want what’s fair” derails strategy, inflates costs, and delays peace—and how a trauma-informed, whole-person approach helps clients pivot toward outcomes they can actually live with. Sara opens the curtain on what courts really weigh under standards like “just and equitable,” why judges prioritize clarity over grievance, and how stories of betrayal still matter when they are used to guide better decisions rather than to fuel a courtroom campaign.

Together, we map the gap between emotional fairness and legal reality, then show how to close it with reframing, education, and the right team. You’ll hear how validating a client’s experience builds trust, how divorce coaches reduce legal fees by handling the emotional heavy lifting, and why amicable and collaborative professionals consistently deliver faster, more sustainable results than “shark” tactics. We also talk practical tools—mindfulness, targeted parenting classes, curated resources—that help parents stop scorekeeping and design plans centered on children’s needs, not adult ego.

If you’re navigating separation or advising clients through it, this conversation offers a clear path from conflict to closure: focus on what you can control, choose resolution over vindication, and measure success by stability, not revenge. Divorce splits one household into two; it won’t look the same, and that’s okay. The goal is a livable outcome that protects your kids, your wallet, and your future self. 

Subscribe, share this episode and leave us a review to help others find us. 

To learn more about Sara visit her practice website at: https://marlerlawpartners.com/

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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What if the word “fair” is quietly keeping clients stuck? We dive into the emotional gravity of fairness and show how precise language, neutral validation, and clean reflection can move people from moral courtroom to practical resolution. Guest Evelyn Marley—DCA-certified ADR divorce coach and host of the Fight Less podcast—joins us to unpack how communication tools like silence, mirroring, and micro-reframes lower defensiveness and open pathways to agreement without erasing emotion.

In this episode, we explore the distinction between validating feelings and approving positions, and we tackle the confirmation bias that often sways even well-meaning professionals. You’ll hear how to translate fairness into interests and needs, keep the focus future-facing, and align choices with a client’s best-self vision. We talk through reality-testing, the power of asking “Is it true?”, and why strategic pauses can surface insights that scripted speeches can’t. Most importantly, we define “good enough” as a value-aligned, livable threshold—not a surrender—so clients can choose progress without betraying their core.

Along the way, we spotlight common language traps that entrench conflict and offer practical prompts you can use today: clarifying what “fair” means to the client, reflecting small shifts that build momentum, and inviting clients to say the unsaid in a safe space. Conflict communication is a learnable skill, and when you change the words, you change the trajectory. 

Ready to trade fairness debates for better outcomes? Subscribe, share this podcast episode with a colleague, and leave a review.

About Evelyn:

Evelyn Marley is DCA® certified divorce and communication coach who helps people handle hard conversations by reframing conflict. Evelyn draws from mediation training, divorce coaching, and communication studies and her work centers on awareness, boundaries, repair, and language that lowers defensiveness and escalation.

She is also the host of the Fight(Less) Podcast, where she interviews experts who help people transform and use conflict management as a skill for repair, growth and deeper connection even during life's difficult challenges. 

How to reach Evelyn:
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.evelynmarleycoaching.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evelynmarley/
Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5UZZMzwtPVGc1WeinCcDY9?si=883fa51bbafe4a6c

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Fair feels righteous, but it quietly keeps so many divorces stuck. We pull back the curtain on why “I just want what’s fair” becomes a trap and how a resolution-focused approach creates momentum, protects your energy, and ends conflict sooner. Instead of treating divorce like a moral tribunal, we frame it as a structured exit from a shared legal, financial, and parenting arrangement—one that rewards clear thinking and workable agreements over symbolic victories.

We start by separating two often-blurred ideas: fairness is an evaluation; resolution is a process. That single distinction changes the questions you ask and the outcomes you reach. You’ll hear how fairness multiplies objections, turns every proposal into a referendum on the past, and collapses time horizons. Then we lay out the resolution metrics that actually matter in mediation and negotiation: durability, conflict exposure, ease of implementation, and long-term autonomy. These criteria help you choose options you may not love but can accept—and acceptance is what unlocks closure.

A composite client story brings the shift to life. This is the quiet stall many reasonable people fall into: no yelling, just months of evaluation through a fairness lens. The breakthrough happens with one core question—what happens if you keep negotiating for fairness? Mapping real costs across time, money, emotional bandwidth, and co‑parenting reveals the truth: fairness isn’t producing relief. Resolution can. We also take on emotional justice head-on. Divorce processes don’t deliver moral verdicts; they deliver exit strategies. Healing belongs in therapy and community, not in your settlement terms.

If you’re a professional, we show how ADR-aligned divorce coaching teaches decision literacy and helps clients tolerate imperfect outcomes in service of a livable future. If you’re navigating your own divorce, you’ll leave with practical language, sharper filters, and a redefined vision of success: less escalation, greater stability, and fewer future flashpoints—especially for families with children. 

Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway so we can keep building smarter, resolution-centered tools for you.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Fair sounds virtuous, but it’s the quiet saboteur of many divorce negotiations. We pull back the curtain on how fairness language derails progress, fuels story stacking, and turns negotiations into a tribunal of the past instead of a plan for the future. When each person holds a private definition of “fair,” the gap widens, defensiveness rises, and workable options get torpedoed—not because they fail the kids or the law, but because they fail a sense of symmetry.

We make the case for a different target: good enough. That doesn’t mean settling for less; it means designing an agreement that functions under stress, reduces future touch points, and keeps emotional reengagement to a minimum. You’ll hear how to stress-test proposals with real-life questions—what happens when communication breaks down, when one parent is tired, or when compliance wobbles—and why agreements should be built for human behavior, not ideal behavior. We also draw a clear boundary: courts and mediation structures allocate responsibility and create enforceable terms; they don’t repair emotional inequity. Trying to extract justice from a system built for decisions guarantees frustration.

If you’re a divorce professional or coach, we share practical tools to help clients move from moral certainty to strategic flexibility, normalize disappointment as part of transition, and measure success by fewer future conflicts. And if you’re navigating divorce yourself, this conversation offers a steady off-ramp: stop chasing perfect balance and start building sustainable peace. 

Ready to trade fairness for function and finally get finished? 

Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague or friend, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway or question—we’d love to hear what “good enough” looks like for you.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Trust accelerates the work. That simple idea sits at the heart of our conversation with betrayal trauma specialist and DCA-certified ADR divorce coach, Christina Riley, as we explore why representation isn’t a tagline—it’s a performance driver in divorce coaching and mediation. Clients don’t arrive as blank slates; they bring history, stress responses, and a relationship to systems that can either inflame or calm conflict. When cultural understanding is present from the start, the nervous system settles and the coaching room turns from explanation into strategy.

We talk candidly about the access gap at the entry point: why many people in underrepresented communities delay support not because they don’t need it, but because they’re unsure the space will be safe or relevant. That delay has costs—escalated conflict, higher expenses, and harder-to-repair ruptures. Christina shares how Black clients intentionally seek coaches who share lived experience to reduce emotional labor, build early trust, and gain the clarity needed for mediation, parenting plans, and settlement conversations. The payoff is practical and immediate: clearer goals, stronger boundaries, and a sharper distinction between what genuinely matters and what’s merely emotionally loud.

We also examine the profession’s responsibility. Neutrality doesn’t demand sameness. Competence includes cultural literacy, rigorous standards, and ethical practice that adapts to reality without diluting quality. Training organizations like Divorce Coaches Academy can widen the pipeline while maintaining high bars through mentorship, community, and honest conversations about barriers. Lived experience is not a liability; paired with strong training, it’s a lens that improves outcomes across ADR.

If you care about early intervention, reduced conflict, and durable agreements, this conversation is an invitation to build inclusion thoughtfully and on purpose. 

Listen, share with someone who needs to hear it, and subscribe to stay part of a community shaping a more effective, accessible divorce coaching field.

Connect with Christina at Christina Riley Coaching here: christinariley.com

Not yet a DCA Certified Divorce Coach? Apply for the next cohort which begins Jan 11, 2026. Find out details here: https://www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/divorcecoach

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Feeling uneasy about AI crowding into divorce work? We felt it too—so we sat down to map where technology actually helps and where only a trained human can do the job. From polished emails to calmer exchanges, AI can create a crucial pause. But growth doesn’t happen in a prompt; it happens when someone learns why they got triggered, how their conflict dance repeats, and what to do differently when the stakes are high.

We unpack the real distinction between outputs and capacity. Tools like ChatGPT or specialized mediation apps can reflect language back, suggest phrasing, and organize priorities. That can make mediation smoother and lower emotional heat. Still, readiness is not a checklist. ADR‑aligned divorce coaches assess power dynamics, spot coercive control, adapt when a client shuts down or floods, and coordinate with mediators and attorneys to protect meaningful participation. That’s relational, ethical, in‑the‑moment work—work that builds durable skills clients carry into co‑parenting, future negotiations, and new relationships.

Looking toward 2026, the field is shifting. Coaches who sell scripts or generic advice will feel replaceable. Coaches who anchor in behavior change, early dispute resolution, and measurable capacity building will thrive. We share practical ways to integrate AI as a supportive tool while staying squarely in the human lane: transferring skills, not just smoothing moments; creating sturdiness, not just calm copy; and saving families time, money, and unnecessary harm through true readiness. If you’re committed to high standards and future‑focused practice, this conversation will help you sharpen your role, refine your offer, and lead with clarity.

If this resonates, subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review. Ready to level up? Our next ADR‑aligned divorce coaching certification begins January 11—join us at divorcecoachesacademy.com.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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The phrase “I just want this over with” shows up every December like clockwork. Tracy unpacks why that sentence is both deeply human and a vital signal that capacity is low—and why mistaking urgency for readiness can derail agreements, parenting plans, and trust long after the paperwork is signed.

We map how the holidays act as a compression chamber: emotional labor spikes, financial realities surface, and the symbolic reset of January creates an internal deadline that feels like clarity but is really fatigue. From an ADR lens, speed can look like competence while quietly shifting costs to the back end—where resentment, post-decree litigation, and co-parenting friction explode once the fog lifts. Tracy walks through a familiar case pattern: late-night “agreements” struck under strain that later collapse under scrutiny, not because people lied, but because they were buying relief, not building sustainability.

Then we get practical. You’ll hear the coaching moves that stabilize high-pressure moments: separating what feels urgent from what is, sequencing decisions instead of collapsing them, and pausing when regulation is low. We dig into language discipline—avoiding finality words that cement premature decisions—and show how to reframe early alignment as provisional so clients enter negotiation with flexibility, curiosity, and informed consent. The theme is simple and hard: readiness is capacity, not a feeling. Our job is to absorb urgency without amplifying it and to protect the process so January’s volume doesn’t masquerade as clarity.

If you work in divorce and family dispute resolution, this is your recalibration for “divorce month.” January doesn’t need faster divorces; it needs steadier professionals who treat “I just want this over with” as a cue to slow the pace, expand perspective, and build outcomes that hold. Listen, share with a colleague who needs this reminder, and if the episode helped you lead with steadiness, subscribe and leave a review so more practitioners can find it.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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Wondering if a sustainable divorce coaching practice is really possible—or how to build one without burning out or getting lost in theory? We sit down with DCA-certified coach Lyerly Spongberg to unpack the exact steps she took to turn rigorous ADR training, mentor feedback, and a growth mindset into steady client results and a business with clear momentum.

We start with the decision point: moving from life coaching to a dispute resolution lens that gives clients structure, calms chaos, and prepares them for mediation and attorney meetings. Lyerly shares how she internalized DCA frameworks, leaned into mentor coaching, and used tools like strategic empathy, EAR statements, BIF responses, and nonviolent communication to help clients communicate clearly and avoid escalation. A memorable client story shows how planning the divorce conversation—when, where, and how—can transform years of hesitation into a grounded, empowered step forward.

Then we zoom out to the practice model. Lyerly explains the business choices that created traction: SMART goals, consistent educational content, intentional networking, and advanced training in high conflict, co-parenting, and trauma-informed coercive control. We talk about pre-mediation coaching as a game-changer for better outcomes, collaboration with legal and mediation professionals, and how these learnable skills carry into co-parenting and future relationships. Finally, we explore scalable offerings—downloadable guides, professional talks, local hubs, and group coaching—that meet clients where they are and build sustainable visibility.

If you’re building or refining a divorce coaching practice, you’ll leave with a roadmap you can use: anchor your work in ADR, practice until the tools become second nature, design services that fit your strengths, and measure success by calmer conversations and healthier outcomes for families. Subscribe, share with a colleague who needs this, and leave a review with the one ADR tool you want to master next.

About Lyerly:
Lyerly Spongberg is a DCA Certified ADR Divorce Coach, Certified DCA Pre-Mediation Coach, Co-Parenting Specialist, and Trauma-Informed Coercive Control Coach. She works nationally with clients navigating divorce to calm chaos, reduce overwhelm, and improve outcomes—ultimately saving them time, money, and emotional energy throughout the process.

In addition to her professional training, Lyerly brings a unique depth of lived experience. After navigating her own high-conflict divorce in her 30s, she later married a widower with four children—and for nearly two decades has raised a blended family of six.

Through her coaching practice, Step Up With Lyerly, she supports clients at every stage of the divorce process—from early decision-making through post-divorce restructuring—with a focus on clarity, stability, and child-centered strategies. Lyerly lives in CT with her husband and their two rescue dogs, Ruby and Daisy.

Where to connect with Lyerly:
Website - https://stepupwithlyerly.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stepup_withlyerly
Email:

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

When the words “narcissist” or “toxic” hit the table, the conversation often derails. We take a different path—away from labels and toward behavior—so clients can make safer, smarter decisions during divorce without stepping into clinical territory. Tracy lays out a clear, ethical approach that validates harm, respects mental health needs, and keeps our work aligned with the dispute resolution standards that serve families best.

We explore the two truths that often coexist: some clients endure harmful, destabilizing behavior, and some are facing a spouse with legitimate mental health needs deserving compassion and dignity. Instead of reducing people to diagnoses, we examine what actually shows up in the process: escalation patterns, emotional regulation, reliability, responsiveness, and communication capacity. Through practical prompts—What does the behavior look like? When does it escalate? How does it affect your choices?—we convert emotional chaos into strategic clarity, boundaries, and safety plans.

We also tackle mediation viability as a functional, not clinical, question. Mediation requires predictability, transparency, and the willingness to repair communication ruptures; when those behaviors are absent, progress stalls regardless of labels. You’ll hear how to reframe inflammatory language, design behavior-based participation plans, and maintain professional boundaries that build trust across the ADR ecosystem. The result is a pragmatic, compassionate model that protects clients, preserves dignity on both sides, and elevates our field through clear roles and standards.

If the goal is durable agreements and healthier co-parenting, behavior must lead. 

Subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review to help us spread ethical, ADR-aligned divorce coaching. 

And if you’re ready to go deeper, join our next ADR Divorce Coach Certification Cohort starting January 11, 2026 at DivorceCoachesAcademy.com.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]

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The holidays promise cheer, yet for many families they amplify tension, unmet expectations, and quiet grief. We open the door to a calmer path by guiding clients through a practical, humane pre-decision continuum that reduces conflict before lawyers, filings, or ultimatums take center stage. 

Since January is known for a surge in divorce inquiries, we make the case that it should be known for something better: thoughtful coaching that stabilizes emotions and turns fear into informed choice.

In this episode, host Tracy Callahan and guest, Dori Braddell, DCA Certified Divorce Coach and Director of Education and Development for DCA Canada, discuss divorce client preparation. They break the journey into three clear stages. First, Stay Well: we focus on stabilization and containment—sleep, nutrition, mindfulness, supportive connection—and name the SCARF triggers (status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, fairness) that fuel reactivity. We help clients separate emotional distress from decision urgency and build safety plans and communication guardrails. Next, Wait With Intention: a purposeful pause for values clarification and fact-finding. We reverse-engineer desired outcomes for parenting, housing, and cash flow; gather financial data and process options; and model neutral, non-adversarial language. We stay in lane ethically by sharing general information and framing precise attorney questions without offering legal advice. Finally, Go With Purpose: clients convert preparation into action with a scripted, respectful approach to “the talk,” a short-term financial buffer, interim housing choices, parenting status quo, and a calm first agenda that sets the tone for mediation and collaborative solutions.

Throughout, we underscore leadership and empathy: the prepared spouse takes care to avoid blindsiding and offers space for the other to process. For fellow coaches and ADR professionals, we share practical readiness tips—open discovery slots, align messaging to “divorce decision month,” refresh templates, and protect your own container against compassion fatigue—so you can meet the January surge with clarity and heart. Preparation is peace. Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague who needs a January playbook, and leave a review telling us which stage your clients struggle with most.

To connect Dori through her role with DCA:
Dori Braddell, DCA Certified Divorce Coach; Director of Education and Development for DCA Canada
Email: [email protected] 

Dori's private practice: https://www.thedivorcementor.ca/about-me

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: [email protected]