I Don't Know How You Do It

Beyond The Nanny Diaries: Nicola Kraus on Joy, Caregiving, and Getting it Done


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Nicola Kraus burst onto the literary scene as co-author of the global sensation The Nanny Diaries. But her story didn’t stop there—and in this episode, she opens up about what came next. From ghostwriting and caregiving to lead parenting and late-in-life bat mitzvah prep, Nicola shares the real-life experiences that shaped her new novel, The Best We Could Hope For.

We talk about:

  • What it’s really like to have overnight success—and what comes after
  • Caring for her mother over a 14-year cancer journey
  • How Gen X is redefining parenting and breaking cycles
  • The surprising link between joy and self-discipline
  • Managing anxiety, creative work, and caregiving at the same time
  • Why reclaiming milestones (like an adult bat mitzvah!) matters

Nicola is funny, sharp, and deeply honest about what it takes to show up—for family, for your work, and for yourself.

Key Takeaways:

  • Early success doesn’t guarantee an easy road. Even after a global bestseller, Nicola had to hustle, pivot, and rebuild.
  • Caregivers need care too. Whether it's sleep, support, or someone to show up at 5 a.m., help matters—and asking for it is essential.
  • Joy requires discipline. It may not just arrive on its own. Make room for it through conscious, embodied effort.
  • Break big projects into small, doable steps. Post-its, lists, and visible progress can make even the most overwhelming seasons manageable.
  • Energy doesn’t lie. When deciding what to take on, ask yourself: if this disappeared, would I feel relieved or disappointed?
  • Name the hard stuff. Denial creates wounds. Acknowledging pain—within families, relationships, or ourselves—is the first step to healing.
  • It’s never too late to reclaim a ritual or milestone. Whether it’s a midlife bat mitzvah or something else entirely, meaningful experiences have no expiration date.

Find more about Nicola: 

Instagram

Website

Facebook



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Music credit: Limitless by Bells

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I Don't Know How You Do ItBy Jessica Fein

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