I Don't Know How You Do It

Beyond The Nanny Diaries: Nicola Kraus on Joy, Caregiving, and Getting it Done


Listen Later

Nicola Kraus burst onto the literary scene as co-author of the global sensation The Nanny Diaries. But her story didn’t stop there—and in this episode, she opens up about what came next. From ghostwriting and caregiving to lead parenting and late-in-life bat mitzvah prep, Nicola shares the real-life experiences that shaped her new novel, The Best We Could Hope For.

We talk about:

  • What it’s really like to have overnight success—and what comes after
  • Caring for her mother over a 14-year cancer journey
  • How Gen X is redefining parenting and breaking cycles
  • The surprising link between joy and self-discipline
  • Managing anxiety, creative work, and caregiving at the same time
  • Why reclaiming milestones (like an adult bat mitzvah!) matters

Nicola is funny, sharp, and deeply honest about what it takes to show up—for family, for your work, and for yourself.

Key Takeaways:

  • Early success doesn’t guarantee an easy road. Even after a global bestseller, Nicola had to hustle, pivot, and rebuild.
  • Caregivers need care too. Whether it's sleep, support, or someone to show up at 5 a.m., help matters—and asking for it is essential.
  • Joy requires discipline. It may not just arrive on its own. Make room for it through conscious, embodied effort.
  • Break big projects into small, doable steps. Post-its, lists, and visible progress can make even the most overwhelming seasons manageable.
  • Energy doesn’t lie. When deciding what to take on, ask yourself: if this disappeared, would I feel relieved or disappointed?
  • Name the hard stuff. Denial creates wounds. Acknowledging pain—within families, relationships, or ourselves—is the first step to healing.
  • It’s never too late to reclaim a ritual or milestone. Whether it’s a midlife bat mitzvah or something else entirely, meaningful experiences have no expiration date.

Find more about Nicola: 

Instagram

Website

Facebook



Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts

"This is my go-to podcast for inspiration and to discover new approaches to embrace the challenges in my life." If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps me reach more people -- just like you -- find strategies and insights to do the things that feel undoable. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select “Write a Review.” Then be sure to let me know what you loved most about the episode!

Also, if you haven’t done so already, follow the podcast. Follow now!

Sign up for my newsletter and learn more about these remarkable stories at www.jessicafeinstories.com

Order Jessica's memoir, Breath Taking: A Memoir of Family, Dreams, and Broken Genes

Watch Jessica's TedX Talk

Music credit: Limitless by Bells

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

I Don't Know How You Do ItBy Jessica Fein

  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5
  • 5

5

75 ratings


More shows like I Don't Know How You Do It

View all
The Moth by The Moth

The Moth

27,290 Listeners

Death, Sex & Money by Slate Podcasts

Death, Sex & Money

7,703 Listeners

Grief Out Loud by The Dougy Center

Grief Out Loud

307 Listeners

Happier with Gretchen Rubin by Gretchen Rubin / The Onward Project

Happier with Gretchen Rubin

12,923 Listeners

Thanks For Asking by Feelings & Co.

Thanks For Asking

13,270 Listeners

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast by Jen Hatmaker

For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

6,394 Listeners

Everything Happens with Kate Bowler by Everything Happens Studios

Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

5,051 Listeners

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos by Pushkin Industries

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

14,387 Listeners

Grief is a Sneaky Bitch by Lisa Keefauver, MSW

Grief is a Sneaky Bitch

310 Listeners

Kelly Corrigan Wonders by Kelly Corrigan

Kelly Corrigan Wonders

3,327 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Glennon Doyle and Audacy

We Can Do Hard Things

41,289 Listeners

Making Space with Hoda Kotb by Hoda Kotb, TODAY

Making Space with Hoda Kotb

10,417 Listeners

All There Is with Anderson Cooper by CNN

All There Is with Anderson Cooper

9,543 Listeners

Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus by Lemonada Media

Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus

10,460 Listeners

MeSsy with Christina Applegate & Jamie Lynn Sigler by Wishbone Production

MeSsy with Christina Applegate & Jamie Lynn Sigler

3,498 Listeners