The Rare Life

By Madeline CheneyParenting Kids & Family

The Rare Life episodes

October 15 235: Ways Our Identity is Impacted by Having a Medically-Complex Child
Who are you when so much of your life revolves around caring for your child? For parents of disabled and medically complex kids, our identities can shift in some pretty significant ways, and figuring out who we are in the midst of it all isn't always easy.
In today's episode, Madeline and Alyssa dig into the ways disability parenting shapes our sense of self. We talk about grieving parts of who we used to be, discovering new things about ourselves, and what it looks like to embrace an identity we never expected to have.
We also explore the pressure to fit a certain mold as a disability parent, how our identities become intertwined with our children's, and what happens when caregiving is a lifelong role. It's a big, complicated topic, and one that looks a little different for everyone!
Also, a big thank you to Functional Formularies, our sponsor for this episode.
Links:
Learn more about Functional Formularies!
Listen to Ep 85: Should A Child’s Disability be Part of Their Parent’s Identity?
Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!
Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!
Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!
Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.
1 hr 6 min
October 08 234: Carolina’s Story | A Surprise Diagnosis, A Liver Transplant, + When Relaxing Feels Risky
When Carolina’s daughter Cruz was just days old, newborn screening revealed she had maple syrup urine disease. Almost overnight, Carolina went from first-time mom to managing hospital stays, oxygen, G-tube feeds, and a condition that could become dangerous very quickly.
In today’s episode, Carolina shares what those early years looked like, including the hypervigilance, the pressure to get everything exactly right, and the fear that if she relaxed even a little, something bad would happen.
We also talk about the decision to pursue a liver transplant after years of managing Cruz’s condition, and what life has looked like on the other side. From finally sharing cultural foods with Cruz to finding snack crumbs in the car seat, Carolina reflects on the small, ordinary things that can feel huge after years of medical complexity.

Links:
Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!
Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!
Follow Carolina on Instagram @carolq14!
Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!
Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.
47 min
October 01 233: PTSD | What It Looks Like + Why It’s So Prevalent for Disability Parents w/ Amanda Griffith-Atkins
A hospital admission. A seizure. A certain time of year. Sometimes your body can react to medical trauma long after the moment itself has passed. But when does that become PTSD, and what does that look like when the trauma is tied to your child’s medical care?
In today’s episode, Amanda Griffith-Atkins joins us to break down the difference between PTSD, post-traumatic stress symptoms, and other trauma responses, plus why things like hypervigilance, avoidance, feeling trapped, and physical reactions to reminders can show up so strongly for medical parents.
We also dig into what makes trauma especially complicated when you have to keep returning to the hospital or facing new medical crises, how treatment options like EMDR and medication can help, and why you don’t need an official PTSD diagnosis for your trauma to deserve attention.
And a big thanks to our sponsor for this episode, themakers of the incredible documentary, The Zebra & The Bear!
Links:
Watch The Zebra & The Bear
Listen to Ep 185: Medical Parent Trauma.
Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!
Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!
Follow Amanda on Instagram @amanda.griffith.atkins!
Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!
Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.
Amanda’s Episodes:
81: Health Anxiety
85: Should A Child’s Disability be Part of Their Parents’ Identity?
99: Family Planning
108: Holidays + Disability
109: Isolating During Holidays
110: Inpatient During Holidays
130: Fearful of Childloss
131: Chronic Stress + Our Bodies
132: When Self-Care Gives Us the Swears
135: Ways Career + Family Roles Can Be Affected by Disability
142: What If My Disabled Child Outlives Me?
147: Sex + Disability Parenting
153: Hurtful Things Loved Ones Say and Do
156: Should I Get Divorced?
159: Mental-Load Sharing with Your Partner
171: Financial Strain
182: Hobbies
189: Grief in Disability Parenting
203: Strengthening Marriage
222: Intellectual Disabilities
59 min
September 24 232: Exercise + Disability Parents
Exercise can be a powerful coping tool, a way to feel stronger, and something that improves our mental health as parents of disabled children. But for those in our community, it can also be hard to access, hard to sustain, and just one more thing on our never-ending to-do list.
In today’s episode, we’re talking about that tension: the ways exercise has helped so many parents cope with stress, anger, trauma, and the physical demands of caregiving, alongside the very real barriers of time, energy, money, childcare, and hospital stays.
We also dig into body image, identity, losing routines you once loved, and why “just make it a priority” doesn’t capture the reality of caregiving. No matter your relationship to exercise, this episode has something for everyone.
Links:
Listen to Ep. 142: What If My Disabled Child Outlives Me?
Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!
Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!
Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!
Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.
57 min
September 17 231: Numbing Out | When Disability Parents Need a Break From Reality
Scrolling. Comfort shows. Exercise. Reading. Keeping yourself so busy you don’t have time to think. Numbing out can look a lot of different ways.
In today’s episode, we’re talking about why medical parents numb out, especially during stressful seasons, before and after scary medical moments, and after long days of being “on” for everyone else.
We also dig into the difference between numbing out and dissociation, how to tell when distraction is helping versus becoming avoidance, and why sometimes giving your brain a break is exactly what you need.
Also, a big thank you to Functional Formularies, oursponsor for this episode.

Links:
Learn more about Functional Formularies!
Listen to Ep 182: Hobbies for Disability Parents.
Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!
Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!
Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!
Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.

46 min
September 10 230: Amanda’s Story | Medical-Parent Anxiety, Fear of the Future + 17 Years of Perspective
When your first child is medically complex, your experience can look very different from a “typical” parent. But sometimes, that’s only really apparent in hindsight.
In today’s episode, we (finally!) have Amanda Griffith-Atkins on to share the story of her and her son Asher. From the first inkling that something wasn’t quite right to navigating conflicting messages and fears about the future to what her life looks like now seventeen years later, Amanda shares it all.
We also dig into that moment where you realize you have to share diagnostic news with your friends and family, how having typical children later brought up grief for moments she and Asher missed out on, and how the way disabled children are portrayed in medical settings influences parents and can contribute to fear.
This episode has it all! You won't want to miss it.
Links:
Check out Amanda's past episodes on TRL!
81: Health Anxiety
85: Should A Child’s Disability be Part of Their Parents’ Identity?
99: Family Planning
108: Holidays + Disability
109: Isolating During Holidays
110: Inpatient During Holidays
130: Fearful of Childloss
131: Chronic Stress + Our Bodies
132: When Self-Care Gives Us the Swears
135: Ways Career + Family Roles Can Be Affected by Disability
142: What If My Disabled Child Outlives Me?
147: Sex + Disability Parenting
153: Hurtful Things Loved Ones Say and Do
156: Should I Get Divorced?
159: Mental-Load Sharing with Your Partner
171: Financial Strain
182: Hobbies
189: Grief in Disability Parenting
203: Strengthening Marriage
222: Intellectual Disabilities
Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!
Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!
Follow Amanda on Instagram @amanda.griffith.atkins!
Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!
Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.
39 min
September 03 229: Season 14 Kickoff | Our Board Retreat, Summer Recaps + Sneak Peeks
Season 14 is here, and this time the focus is on how raising a disabled or medically complex child impacts us as people.
This season, we’ll be talking about things like anxiety, PTSD, identity, feeling like your body failed your child, numbing out and dissociation, exercise, and being seen as a “Debbie Downer” when you’re honest about the realities of this life. As always, we’ll also have story episodes woven throughout the season, including a long-overdue story episode with Amanda Griffith-Atkins.
We’re also sharing some behind-the-scenes updates in this episode, including how Madeline and Alyssa are splitting hosting and production this season, our first in-person board retreat in Maine, and a little of what we’ve been up to over the summer.
Finally, we’re wrapping up this season opener with clips from the first few episodes. Don’t miss it!
Links:
Access the NICU Survival Guide here or at https://therarelife.org/nicuguide.
Listen to Ep 81: Health Anxiety.
Listen to Ep 85: Should A Child’s Disability be Part of Their Parent’s Identity? w/ Emily Ladau.
Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!
Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!
Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!
Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.
26 min
August 13 New Launch: The NICU Survival Guide w/ Cindy Reinhard and Ashley Caywood (Summer Mini #10)
It’s finally here! For the last year and a half, we’ve been working on this project to be a big hug for NICU families from parents who just get it.
In this episode, we’re sharing our NICU Guide for the first time, why we created it, who it’s for, and how you can help get it into the hands of families who need it the most.
If you’d like to help, send us a message on Instagram, ontherarelife.org/contact or by emailing us directly at [email protected].
A huge thank you to our sponsor for this summer season, Real Food Blends!
Real Food Blends are the only 100% real food meals thatare ready-to-feed for people with feeding tubes. Offering 8 different meals and 1 snack for adults & kids, it's the closest thing to homemade blenderized tube feeding. Learn more at realfoodblends.com!
Links:
Access the NICU Survival Guide here.
Get involved with distribution efforts by emailing us [email protected].
Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!
Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!
Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!
Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.

24 min
August 06 When You and Your Child are Both Medically Complex with Sarah (Summer Mini #9)
Imagine this: You’ve just finished going through the diagnostic process for your child’s rare disease. You’re trying to find your new normal. And in the midst of all this, you continue to uncover your own medical complexities.
That story isn’t foreign to Sarah, our guest in today’s episode. She shares both her and her daughter’s diagnostic journey, how that impacts their life in unique ways, and why she’s ultimately thankful to be able to understand her daughter’s struggles.
A huge thank you to our sponsor for this summer season, Real Food Blends!
Real Food Blends are the only 100% real food meals thatare ready-to-feed for people with feeding tubes. Offering 8 different meals and 1 snack for adults & kids, it's the closest thing to homemade blenderized tube feeding. Learn more at realfoodblends.com!
Links:
Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!
Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!
Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!
Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.

21 min
July 30 Single Medical Parenting w/ Danielle (Summer Mini #8)
Parenting a medically complex child without a partner or co-parent can bring a new level of difficulty.
From managing the financial realities of a solo parent household to the emotional weight of making all the decisions on your own to the uncertainty of who would care for your child if something happens to you, we’re covering what makes solo medical parenting a little different from a partnered parenting experience. (And why it’s unfortunately still relatable to some parents who technically have partners too.)
A huge thank you to our sponsor for this summer season, Real Food Blends!
Real Food Blends are the only 100% real food meals thatare ready-to-feed for people with feeding tubes. Offering 8 different meals and 1 snack for adults & kids, it's the closest thing to homemade blenderized tube feeding. Learn more at realfoodblends.com!
Links:
Fill out our contact form to join upcoming discussion groups!
Join The Rare Life newsletter and never miss an update!
Listen to Ep 156: Should I Get a Divorce?
Follow us on Instagram @the_rare_life!
Donate to the podcast or Contact me about sponsoring an episode.

32 min

About The Rare Life

From the publisher's feed

This is the real, raw, and all the feels of loving a child with disabilities. Episodes feature parent-guests, professionals, and solo episodes with host Madeline Cheney.