Today, we're talking about the chaos we all feel at this time of year. We all struggle with the many expectations placed on us. In this time we have, I'll share some of my own struggles and ways that you can face them with confidence and a sense of joy and peace within that chaos.
Have your schools started yet? Ours began a couple of weeks ago, and it was crazy. There are certain things about this time of year that make me feel unbalanced. I think we all experience this in different ways. For some of us, it's the change of the season that messes with us. I used to always get ill right when the seasons change.
At this time, it can often feel as if I have 3 new bosses with strong opinions on how I use my time and energy.
One boss is me. I expect myself to be on top of it all. I want my skills to match whatever is thrown at me. Do you ever feel that way? Mommas we often handle so many different tasks that we can become overwhelmed. For me, this time often feels as if I'm right on the edge of sanity.
My second new boss is the school. Depending on the age of my kids, I get a little used to this boss having a say in my life, but the tension of starting it all over each fall never seems to go away. The school sends home many assignments for my kids that I do and don't understand. They also submit many papers for me to sign and in our area, we also have earthquake kits. I know other parts of the country have their own kind of emergency supplies. The idea is that in case of an earthquake, the school has specific supplies on hand if I cannot come and help my child at the moment. They want us to get food, some kind of game, a family picture and other things to bring calm to my child in case of an emergency. Unfortunately, this takes much-needed creativity from my brain, and I often finish getting this done after I've done all the other starting school requirements.
My kids start acting like my 3rd boss. Actually, they try to do this all the time, but I feel it more at this time of year. That's because they get told what they need from the school, or they feel pressure from their friends for certain clothes or hairstyles. They also tell me what kind of supplies they need or think they need for the classroom. It always changes and what I knew the year before doesn't necessarily apply this year.
When you add the expectations of my new bosses to my already busy schedule, I get anxious and tense. I don't think I'm the only one who feels this way.
Mommas, we often hold the load for the whole family. We keep things moving forward. We connect everyone with each other. We bring the sanity.
But what happens when momma doesn't feel the sanity? My husband likes to say that if momma isn't happy, no one is happy. I didn't like that expression for a long time, but I've witnessed how much truth there is in those comments. It doesn't feel like I could possibly have that kind of effect on my strong-willed family, but I do, and I'll bet you do too.
When we feel overwhelmed by life, we often find ourselves getting less sleep which leads to getting easily angered or saying things we don't want to say. We forget to take care of ourselves because the needs of everyone else are so all-consuming.
Over the years, I've felt these struggles and sought guidance then I had to implement that guidance in my own life. Here are some things I've learned so that you can feel joy and peace in the midst of that craziness.
Breathe
We need to take a short pause. You can do that in many different ways. You could wake early and just relax in the quiet before everyone else gets up. Or, you could turn off the radio or podcasts for a while you wait for your children after school or at some activity they do. You could offer to take the dog for a walk, and that becomes your quiet time. Whatever works for you.
Psalm 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God!"
We expect so much from ourselves that just acknowledging and trusting those words bring a calm that we need.
Write it down
I never used to make lists, but as the expectations added up I started losing track of what was happening when. So, I started list making. It doesn't require detailed grammar or a particular design. Just give yourself clues that make sense to you and recheck it during the day. There is something incredibly satisfying about drawing a line through it or checking it or whatever lights you up. When you are in the circle of momming, and you find yourself repeating the same things it can often feel as if you did nothing. Your list proves what you did and how valuable it is.
Seek help from other mommas
We all have tips and tricks that work for us. When we are honest about our challenges, we invite others to be honest too. Then, we start to learn from one another. That's why I created the Bible Momming facebook group. I wanted a group away from the main wall of FB to share my gunk while also encouraging others and praying together. You are welcome to join us.
Join the Bible Momming Group Here.
Regularly Pray
Ask God for wisdom as a momma and for wisdom for your children in this new school year. As a believer in Christ, this seems so obvious, but we often get caught up in the busy-ness that we forget to actually seek God's direction in our lives.
James 4:2 says,
"Yet you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it."
As a mom, I know that there are times I'm available for my kids but I've learned that forcing my help on them isn't kind and it isn't always welcome, so I wait for them to ask for my help. God does that too. He's ready to give us guidance and calm our anxieties, but He won't force Himself on us. We have to ask. We won't always get an instant understanding or direction, but when I pray, I often feel calmer just because I recognize who really supplies all my needs.
Though it feels chaotic, let me encourage you with these words from Isaiah 45:18:
"For the Lord is God, and he created the heavens and earth and put everything in place. He made the world to be lived in, not to be a place of empty chaos. "I am the Lord," he says, "and there is no other."
Mommas, I know this season is stressful, but it is possible to feel calm in the chaos and even have joy. You can do this.
