Tolerance and patience -- changes from the steps are happening. Faith is doing for us what we can't do for ourselves.

We close out step for seeing the time we have harmed others with our controlling or demanding in the sex area. And we see why we did that in the past.

And, as we finish this inventory we can see the way we used to be, and we start to see what we can change to relieve us of the past guilt and remorse.

Step 4 columns

col 1 - who did I hurt

col 2 - What did I do?

col 3 - How does this affect Me?

col 4 - What is the wrong or what was done

4th step prayer:

"Dear God, please help me to honestly take stock. Help me to search out the flaws in my make-up which caused my failure. Help me to see where resentment has plagued me and resulted in spiritual malady, but more importantly help me to understand my part in these resentments.

Help me to resolutely look for my own mistakes and to understand where I had been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened. Please help me to be searching and fearless in my endeavor to write my inventory."

You May Also Like: 

✓ New episodes of the Big Book Living Alive Joe & Charlie podcast every Monday @ 2pm est.

Website: https://bigbooklivingalive.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bblivingalive

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What happens when the married person steps out? Who have they hurt with their sexual activities. Spouse, children, family of other person involved...

Sometimes the use of sex is not for the actual act, but more about the control of the act. We need to see if we have done this to others or any other reason we maybe using sex as a tool fulfill some other need or want.

Step 4 columns

col 1 - who did I hurt

col 2 - What did I do?

col 3 - How does this affect Me?

col 4 - What is the wrong or what was done

4th step prayer:

"Dear God, please help me to honestly take stock. Help me to search out the flaws in my make-up which caused my failure. Help me to see where resentment has plagued me and resulted in spiritual malady, but more importantly help me to understand my part in these resentments.

Help me to resolutely look for my own mistakes and to understand where I had been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened. Please help me to be searching and fearless in my endeavor to write my inventory."

You May Also Like: 

✓ New episodes of the Big Book Living Alive Joe & Charlie podcast every Monday @ 2pm est.

Website: https://bigbooklivingalive.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bblivingalive

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How does our drinking impact our sexuality.

How are the early thoughts and impression of our sexuality are formed, or corrupted by our drinking.

This week we take a rooftop view of sex and how it can be a source of our resentment. It's cause and affect on us. And when and where and why it is a nature part of our nature but

how do we view it.

Step 4 columns

col 1 - Type of fear

col 2 - Cause of fear

col 3 - What is threatening a basic instinct of life

col 4 - What is the wrong or what was done

4th step prayer:

"Dear God, please help me to honestly take stock. Help me to search out

the flaws in my make-up which caused my failure. Help me to see

where resentment has plagued me and resulted in spiritual malady, but

more importantly help me to understand my part in these resentments.

Help me to resolutely look for my own mistakes and to understand

where I had been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened. Please

help me to be searching and fearless in my endeavor to write my

inventory."

You May Also Like: 

✓ New episodes of the Big Book Living Alive Joe & Charlie podcast every Monday @ 2pm est.

Website: https://bigbooklivingalive.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bblivingalive

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We cannot let fear can dominate our thinking

Step 4 columns

col 1 - Type of fear

col 2 - Cause of fear

col 3 - What is threatening a basic instinct of life

col 4 - What is the wrong or what was done

We are in the world to do as he designs / faith = courage

4th step prayer:

"Dear God, please help me to honestly take stock. Help me to search out

the flaws in my make-up which caused my failure. Help me to see

where resentment has plagued me and resulted in spiritual malady, but

more importantly help me to understand my part in these resentments.

Help me to resolutely look for my own mistakes and to understand

where I had been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened. Please

help me to be searching and fearless in my endeavor to write my

inventory."

You May Also Like: 

✓ New episodes of the Big Book Living Alive Joe & Charlie podcast every Monday @ 2pm est.

Website: https://bigbooklivingalive.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bblivingalive

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

lather rinse repeat... break that cycle

Lets add some order to our 4th step. Everyone seems to know how to do a 4th step on tv, but there is more than just saying I see this problem.

Once you define a resentment you need to tell someone. This is step 5 and you don't do it and step 6 where you reflect and grow on the experience

then you really don't get the benefits of the exercise.

Use your resentments to grow and become better. Then you should find more calm and harmony. It is also one of the best ways to keep in 

the 'middle'. By that we mean spending more time helping others, growing spiritually and being happy then spending time worrying and planning that next drink.

You May Also Like: 

✓ New episodes of the Big Book Living Alive Joe & Charlie podcast every Monday @ 2pm est.

Website: https://bigbooklivingalive.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bblivingalive

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Break the cycle of self will run riot - they block us from the sunshine of the spirit

This is a Big Book centric week. We can have all the benefits of a happy and resentment free life by looking inward. We don't need to buy special potions, or subscripe to monthly scented candle memberships.

I don't down play the imporatnce of professional help. I don't personally discount the value of rehab. But, for the purposes of using the Big Book and following the steps as a road to recovery; it was done previously with just a Big Book.

You May Also Like: 

✓ New episodes of the Big Book Living Alive Joe & Charlie podcast every Monday @ 2pm est.

Website: https://bigbooklivingalive.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bblivingalive

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We need to find the underlying reason why we have resentments towards others. We can do this by looking at what our part in the situation is and take responsibility for what we did.

Column 4: What is the exact nature of my wrongs, faults, mistakes, defect, shortcomings

What was MY Part: Selfish / Dishonest / Self-seeking & Frightened / Inconsiderate

Are we guilty if we are dishonest about our resentments. If we don't see our part in a resentment then it will continue to fester and keep us from being relieved of that pain and have joy and happiness into our hearts and minds.

ref: All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: Uncommon Thoughts on Common Things, R. Fulghum.

You May Also Like: 

✓ New episodes of the Big Book Living Alive Joe & Charlie podcast every Monday @ 2pm est.

Website: https://bigbooklivingalive.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bblivingalive

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What fixes anger and resentments...love and prayers. Working to achieve piece of mind isn't easy and it can take time because we are human. That is why we strive to achieve spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection, page 551.

Remove resentments and filling that void with love/patience/tolerance is not easy. Resentments build like a tidal wave and hit unexpectedly, that is why we spend so much time identifying and working thru them.

song ref: Digging up bones -- Randy Travis

You May Also Like: 

✓ New episodes of the Big Book Living Alive Joe & Charlie podcast every Monday @ 2pm est.

Website: https://bigbooklivingalive.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bblivingalive

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ever get that itch, the itch to pick a fight.

Wheather it's the co-worker, spouse or other we all get out of sorts at times. We all have this when feel threatened to one of our basic instinct. But, if we lean on our higher power we can learn to deal with it.

We learn in step 4 that the basic instinct of our fears and insecuritis are what we find are the reason for our resentments. When we see someone attack our basic instinct, whether real or imaginary slights we then care these around for years living for free in our head.

Break that control of our emotions by others. If we can remove those resentments then we can live a more peaceful live. Breaking the chains of bondage that resentments wrap us in is one of the most important changes that step 4 can give us.

You May Also Like: 

✓ New episodes of the Big Book Living Alive Joe & Charlie podcast every Monday @ 2pm est.

Website: https://bigbooklivingalive.com

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/bblivingalive

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If your resentments control you then you cannot let God guide you.

The 4th step is all about people / places / institutions / principles that we have a resentment with. The things that we get angry and upset with. But, why are we angry?

what is the cause? what was result?

There are form online to assist with the list and causes for working a 4th step. Or, you can just use page 65 in the Big Book. But at a base level

I had to look at 3 things;

a) who am I resentful of

b) what am I resentful of

c) what was threatened

Start seeing that who what where and why did this happen to us. Nw we can start seeing patterns in our resentments. And that will give us 

insight on where our triggers are. Once we realize this then we can choose how to react to these situations in the future and maybe we

can make different choices in the future.

You May Also Like: 

✓ New episodes of the Big Book Living Alive Joe & Charlie podcast every Monday @ 2pm est.

Website: https://bigbooklivingalive.com

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.