We need to stop feeling sorry for ourselves. And we can start doing that by clearing our past resentments. This will then allow room for new thoughts. When start letting 

our higher power in, it is amazing how much freedom one can feel.

Here is the hard part, you have to first write them down. We are programmed to only handle one thing at a time. It doesn't matter if someone can multi-taak. No one

can handle all the past resentment and items we need to review in our 4th step without a reference. That is where the writing comes in.

Many people will use spreadsheets or other forms for this step, but the original matrix for this step is found on page 65. So, no matter what format used to work on this

step, it starts in the Big Book.

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We have to search for flaws, because the good deeds don't make us drink, it is the resentments that will do us harm if allowed to fester and grow.

'Free your mind, and the rest will follow' - En Vogue

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One must move forward and not delay to the 4th step. The first 3 steps freed us of the self made bonds of our addiction, now is the time to find out

who we are, what we have done, and what our responsibilty were. 

Charlie has the best analogy, if you don't inventory a business then the store fills up with old, outdated and un-sellable goods. Sound familiar??

Facing our actions then and who we were; Allows us to change and become the best of what we are.

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We finish talking about the basice instints with a discussion of the sex fear as it relates to self will. Then we need to see how we are when we live

 a self centered life. The fourth step give us a chance to see how our selfishness caused us to behave mad, or scared or hurtful towards others.

We work the 4th step becasue we need to make some sort of inventory of what we have done. Then we can review this will help us to 

remove those defects of character. This clearing out the old and makes room for so new, better thoughts and goals.

Oops, the actual quote from the movie is: `Bury the dead, they stink up the place`

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There is work to be done before starting step four. We need to do a self assesment so that we have a starting point to work on. 

The 12 & 12 talks about the 3 basic instincts of life:

• Social
• Security
• Sex

This week we talk about the first two. 

Social acceptance is a powerful part of our idea of self. We all want to be accepted and popular. 

But, shortcuts and running on self-will puts us in conflict and that is what creates pain and suffering for ourselves

Security is making sure we are living today but also making sure we are secure in the future. ie: live for today, but get life insurance to plan for tommorow.

Because planning for something is a great feeling until we have to start achieving our goals only to keep up with others. 

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We are the reason for most of our issues. We drive ourselves to destruction because of fear and pain. We make our own problems when we don't want to stop and listen.

Why? Because `you cant heal a sick mind with a sick mind`.

In order to change we must get rid of selfishness. We need to have a way to turn our own self and our problems over to a greater power. 

I cannot stop drinking on my own. I know, I tried many times. It wasn't until I admitted that I was helpless and the I needed the help of something greater that I got relief.

Notice the last paragraph is full if I's. Because you cannot find relief until you make it personal.

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We are the only species that has free will. That is why we never see a tree hit a car. But that self will can cause us to do things and behave in ways that will only harm ourselves. Self will makes us an island and we are isolated and alone.

it is a personal decision and without it we are stuck at step 2. The main issues are in our mind and we need to be willing to change our minds. This is a personal journey because we cannot force our will in others.

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This weeks theme is decision v. action. 

Learning to turn over our will, and our mindset, to higher power. This is a process, and it takes takes time and energy to accept. Giving up control is a large ego deflator, and can keep us from building the foundation for success that the first step, steps that are action based, are meant to help us achieve.

Step 1 and step 2 set the ground worked for us to be ready for step 3.

All action is born in thought because you cant self think you're self out of this. We must be willing to come to believe in something bigger than just ourselves.

We need a guide and path and that is where the big book becomes the most valuable resource. It can give the directions needed to move forward and change.

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Pain points create change. Whether big consequences, or small repercussions, belief must precede change. And change is the process of belief transforming into faith. We cannot start down the path until we realize that we need to believe and that you can change.

This program is a guide to change and a roadmap to the restoration to sanity.

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Dare to believe that there is a better way. Fear of change can prevent any of us from progressing and growing as a person. This can be emotional or spiritual growth that needs to be challenged to dare to believe differently.

We all need to be a little more like Christopher Columbus who went west to go east and didn't fear falling off the edge of the known world in search of his goals. 

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