Billow Waggle Dangle

BWD #55: Morgan Tells The “Dick Bulb” Story (PLAY EPISODE) New guest Morgan stops by, along with the ghost of my great-grandfather, to talk about: Working the graveyard shift at Taboo Video, a downtown Seattle porno shoppe, and the “dick bulb” story Getting punched in the face by a jealous fan at a Harry Potter book release in Puyallup The top two questions companies ask job applicants to weed out idiots: 1) If a guy offers to blow you AND pay you money, do you accept? 2) Multiple Choice. How much crack do you do? A) An excessive amount. B) A moderate amount, but I have it under control. C) None. Also featured in this episode is a new Wagglepiece Theatre entitled, “Bag of Cat Dicks”, about a young man with some ex-girlfriend and voice modulation problems. If you love maritime law and have no strong opinions about tort reform, please like our Facebook page and subscribe to us on iTunes.

BWD #54 - Gavin and Thomas Make Love in this Club (Pt.2) (PLAY EPISODE) In part 2 of this episode, Gavin, Thomas and I talk about how totally radical it is to have sex for the first time, do some Jimmy Stewart/Don Knotts impressions, and we’ve got a new Wagglepiece Theatre titled “The Tails of Clouds” in which two condescending Southern women get a French comeuppance. If you love Hitler and dead ponies, please DON'T like our Facebook page and subscribe to us on iTunes.

BWD #53 - Gavin and Thomas Make Love in this Club (Pt.1) (PLAY EPISODE) In part 1 of this episode, rapper/poet/smooth luvah Gavin and Ghanaian/future lawyer/booty dancer Thomas talk about: How to navigate dance clubs, the booties contained therein, as well as girl fights. People today have sexual ADD. CALM DOWN. Leave some freaky stuff for when you’re old and finally bored by all the normal stuff. To quote Louis C.K.: “Boys fuck things up; Girls are fucked up.” Napoleon complexes can sometimes bestow small men with superhuman powers. Remember to like our Facebook page and subscribe to us on iTunes.

BWD #52 - The Howlin’ Hobbit Sings (Pt.2) (PLAY EPISODE) In part 2 of my interview with the Howlin’ Hobbit, a 29-year Seattle busking veteran and dark master of the ukulele, we talk about how his band Snake Suspenderz got started playing in front of nude models at the Gage Academy of Art, as well as some juicy stories illustrating how odd networking can be in the music business. Listen in to the entire episode to hear Howlin’ sing “My Girlfriend’s Pussy”, a lovely song about a catWAITAMINUTE. Check out the Howlin’ Hobbit’s website to download and, if you are a purveyor of fine music, buy some of his delightful tunes. Also be sure to Like his Facebook fan page.

BWD #51 - The Howlin’ Hobbit Sings (Pt.1) (PLAY EPISODE) The Howlin’ Hobbit, a 29-year Seattle busking veteran and dark master of the ukulele talks about busking at Pike Place Market for the better part of the last 30 years, why Sonny Bono is a jerkface, punching people in their jerk faces, the death of the English language and manners, as well as gigging in Seattle, including the fantastic Moisture Festival.  Check out the Howlin’ Hobbit’s website to download and, if you are a purveyor of fine music, buy some of his delightful tunes. Also be sure to Like his Facebook fan page.

CLASSIC BWD #50 - Prosteristas, dating transexuals and cornography (PLAY EPISODE) In this special, classic episode of BWD we talk prosteristas, curing Alzheimers, cornography, an episode of I Like Your Dog and two episodes of Wagglepiece Theatre about a clown just trying to make ends meet and two brothers that like each other a LOT.

BWD #49: Two Large White Guys Solve Everything (PLAY EPISODE) The ghost of my great-grandfather returns to the show to shoot the shit and answer some troubling questions, such as: What’s something you’ve seen and wish you hadn’t? (Hocus Pocus with Bette Midler, and many, many things on the internet) Have you ever done a 180 on an issue you felt strongly about? (Merging on the freeway) What’s a nonsexual thing a girl has done that was a huge turn-on? (Calling you on your shit, buying you a drink, playing through a football game with a broken hand) What is one of the worst/most spiteful things you’ve ever done? (Slipping porn into cars at the mall) Two large white guys with shaved heads going to a lesbian bar? MIXED RESULTS. Being male and growing up without getting all screwed up: Harder than you’d think! Do we remember the first porno we ever saw? You betcha? You betcha.  Remember to like our Facebook page and subscribe to us on iTunes.

BWD #48: Esteemed All-Father and local shaman Craig Hanson (PLAY EPISODE) Esteemed all-father and local shaman Craig Hanson and I talk about: The unsettling ambiguity of dating and picking up girls in bars, as well as Craig’s online dating success story (he married her!) The pros and cons of having kids. Pros: They might be the next Bill Gates? Cons: They might probably be shitty. Finding porn in the woods How awful the South is Kissing dudes, and eating bugs Ian’s desire to be killed by a falling grand piano We also answer three of our listeners’ questions: Charles Hickey: If you had to choose one, would it be long and thin or short and thick? Matthew Wilson: You’re going to the moon for a year and can only bring one personal object. What do you bring? Luke Walker: If you were a mad geneticist and could alter the DNA of your child with one animal trait knowing that the child would have to attend public schools with whatever freakishness resulted, within the laws of physics and the natural world, what would it be and why? Remember to like our Facebook page and subscribe to us on iTunes.

BWD #47: Johnny Nails and Rob Nass from The Chasers star in “The Skin We’re In” (PLAY EPISODE) Johnny Nail and Rob Nass from Seattle metal band The Chasers star in a new Wagglepiece Theater entitled “The Skin We’re In”, wherein a heartwarming American family unravels, revealing their darkest secrets over a pot roast dinner and probably some Tang. We also talk about: The Chasers are filming a music video every single month for each song off their new upcoming album. Check out their new website at GoTheChasers.com, and look! I’m even in this one! The beauty of Judaism (and its women) The crushing awkwardness of meeting your celebrity idols (for Ian, Elliott Smith, and for Rob, Jerry Cantrell) Johnny’s engagement and how you too can marry a rockstar Rob explains the joys and crushing fears of having a head of hair past your ass The Chasers are playing Chop Suey 6/4, so go buy your tickets now! Remember to like our Facebook page and subscribe to us on iTunes.