Bill's Big Bag of Onions

As the staff at Guppy Productions take annual leave to the seaside village of MANADO, heres the first bonus episode of onions plucked from our Holiday Big Bag.

with Adrian Coen & Yvonne Pini

Here are forty four entirely interconnected previously-broadcast Onions that have been outsourced to a Cayman Islands holding company and then leased back to Colne Radio in one of the most audaciously ingenious tax deduction schemes ever seen in British third-tier radio after which the unwitting Onionistas – aside from Bill Lawrance himself, of course – now find that they have not only effectively paid for the inclusion of their own 100-word stories but have also footed the bill for a one-month long “fact finding” trip for Bill and the two voice artists, Yvonne Pini and Adrian Coen, to easily the most Cayman of the Cayman Islands. The names of the Onion writers who are the victims of this scheme have been withheld on the advice of legal counsel.

In this show, our one-hundred-words-is-all-we-write

Featuring remarkably low word quantity scribbling by KT

With Adrian Coen and Yvonne Pini

In this show, our low-word-count Onionistas try

Featuring suspiciously fleeting screeds written by Ian

With Adrian Coen and Yvonne Pini

In this show, our rebellious rabble of Onionistas tackle scintillating subjects like inadvertently disinhibited Hamlet, unwelcome expressions of affection, and deceptively named racehorses.

Featuring bewilderingly succinct yarns written by Tim Aston, Sue Beer, John Dew, Pat Blosse, Rob Lewis, Susan Low, Ian Hornett, Tim Morgan, Phil Boast, Sebastian Tombs, Ruth Hamilton, Joanne Abberton, Angela Cairns, and Ian Crimm.

With Adrian Coen and Yvonne Pini

In this show, our rebellious rabble of Onionistas tackle scintillating subjects like inadvertently disinhibited Hamlet, unwelcome expressions of affection, and deceptively named racehorses.

Featuring bewilderingly succinct yarns written by Tim Aston, Sue Beer, John Dew, Pat Blosse, Rob Lewis, Susan Low, Ian Hornett, Tim Morgan, Phil Boast, Sebastian Tombs, Ruth Hamilton, Joanne Abberton, Angela Cairns, and Ian Crimm.

With Adrian Coen and Yvonne Pini

BASQUEonions will always find a way... a lovely listen, and quite unique. Beautiful onions in a warm soup of brilliant stories.

Thers's nothing more to say...

with Adian Coen & Yvonne Pini

In this show, our motley crew of Onionistas tackle stolid topics like owls, bots, and poo bags.

Featuring uncommonly short bits of writing by Angela Cairns, Clare Kemsley, John Dew, Paul Hooper, Sue Beer, Masaki Dew, Lis Edwards, Ian Hornett, Ruth Hamilton, Toni Peers, Harriet Peers, Eli Morrison, Pat Blosse, and Phil Boast.

With Adrian Coen and Yvonne Pini

In this show, our doughty troupe of Onionistas tackle weighty topics like magic mushrooms, chronic adultery, and fizzy pop.

Featuring unusually brief bits of writing by Rob Lewis, Sue Beer, Pat Blosse, Paul Hooper, Bill Lawrance, Brandon Louis Mayer, Jake Becker, Jenny Miller, Ian Hornett, John Dew, Tim Aston, Clare Kemsley, Ian Sayers and Phil Boast.

With Adrian Coen and Yvonne Pini

A special bonus summer treat whilst Bill is touring the world investing in new Onion fields.

Presented by Guppy Productions’ Artificial Onion Bots

With AI Adrian and AI Yvonne.