Birdhands

Freddy vs. Jason is a schoolyard conversation and debate that was had by every child of the eighties come to life on the silver screen. Only thing is, it was twenty years too late and times had changed with movie audiences. Not really for the better either.

This is really just an Elm Street movie with a guest appearance by Jason Voorhees. No respect for the Jason character at all. But I do remember the hype around this when it was released and we saw it opening night.

But how will it hold up all these years later? Join us and place your bets!

The more things change, the more they stay the same. It has been a whopping sixty years since the worlds biggest and feared monsters collided on screen, and they are about to do it again.

Godzilla Vs Kong will be released on video on demand next week. But it already happened in this classic Toho film which marked Godzilla's third outing and one of his last as a bad guy.

It has quite possibly the worst monster suit ever put in a major movie. Kong is just awful looking from any angle. That being said, we here in the Birdhole don't mind at all. In fact we think you should grab a barrel of berry juice and join us as we watch two titans go at it for all the marbles.

This week it's.... King Kong Vs. Godzilla!

Why are we watching this movie? It's called Cheerleader Camp. That's it!

Is CHUD a DUD? Find out this and many things more on this weeks episode.

Creepshow is one of the few movies that kind of falls into its own category. If you had to describe it to someone who has never heard of it, you would find it hard to explain exactly what it is. The tagline on the poster is bang on, "The Most Fun You'll Ever Have Being Scared". That is very accurate. Nothing in this film is meant to be taken all that seriously, but the material and everyone involved with it show it complete respect.

George Romero's reputation as an indie underdog often overshadows the achievement of this film opening at number one when it was released. It was a big box office success for Warner and probably would have done double the business if it was not rated R.

In my opinion this film is a masterpiece. The one thing I always liked about it is that each story feels like it takes place in an alternate universe that captures the joy of EC comics from the 1950's. Anyone who is a fan of those knows what I mean.

So some bug spray and cue up the greatest comic book movie ever made.

Just a side note, we had a technical glitch near the end of the last segment which cut off the last few minutes of the movie. Must have been roaches in the studio!

Dog will hunt! We at Birdhands have been coming up short in our hunt for a decent movie in the last few years. Our success rate is about 2 percent to date.

"Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation" is a truly awful film that only really exists to prove to the world that Matthew McConaughey is an amazing actor. I think that this could be an example of the most professional actor alive. Most would not want to stand out in a movie like this but he goes full on method actor no matter how bad you know it will be.

I guess for his performance it's worth a look but everything else in it is just garbage. Leatherface looks like Susan Boyle crossed with Brian May.

For all you out there who like to suffer like we do, cue up this turd and watch along with us, because it is about to get stinky.

Hellraiser is Clive Barker's most well known work to date. But the author turned director was not very happy with film he made. Which is strange because it was a hit with horror fans almost instantly when released.

It's a shame that the many awful sequels that were made mostly without Barker's involvement really brought the franchise down a few notches.  The real eye candy of the film are the Cenobites that appear mostly in the final moments of the movie. They are the reason that it is such a memorable motion picture. Not many people remember the main characters, but they always remember Pinhead and the rest of his gang of nightmarish pals.

So what is your pleasure?

Ours is a 10 pack of Timbits and a few coffees. So let us tear your soul apart with this weeks episode, "Hellraiser".

Ba ba ba na na ba ba baaaa!

The Blue Oyster song would send people into hysterics back in the mid-eighties. Now it just seems puzzling how the police did not know their district all that well. But it was still fun to see what kind of hijinks this cast of characters would get into every year when a new installment would come out.

This was the last one that is fondly remembered by most. Kids everywhere loved these movies and I guess adults didn't mind them either. But will they hold up and be as funny as they were 30 years later?

Let's find out....

Birdhands has been a victim of peer pressure. We have been asked to do this movie in a forceful way and feel bullied into watching this turd. That's okay with us though as we have sat in, and through bigger turds than this so we can handle it.

Troma movies are in a class all their own. Somewhat entertaining but also like they are trying to make a bad movie because they lack the balls to make a good one. Like hipsters that tell you that they only listen to obscure music you have never heard of, so you never can gauge if they actually have taste.

And Troma is an acquired taste. But since we have no taste we will open wide and take one for the team. Let us enroll you and ourselves, in the Class of Nuke 'Em High!

Garbage Day!

This week we tackle the holiday classic that was a meme before they were invented. Eyebrows and amazing line delivery are on the menu for this very special episode of Birdhands!