Birdhands

What's happening in the world today? Everything and everyone has gone insane.

Seems like the only answer to normalize things in the Birdhole is some Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Or Mark Wahlberg as he calls himself now. In this world disaster themed movie he plays a somewhat slow school teacher who has to try and survive some unknown suicide epidemic.

Join us as we spread some good vibrations across the world as we view, "The Happening".

Final Destination is a film series that doesn't take itself too seriously. And sometimes that is just what the doctor ordered. Not every movie needs to be art. But the bridge sequence at the start of Final Destination 5 is a masterpiece. The rest of the film is really nothing special, but is the perfect way to spend some time and have a few laughs along the way.

I think that most people kind of buy in to the idea that when our time to leave earth comes, it was meant to be and cannot be cheated. That could be the reason this film series is so successful.

So while you are waiting for your death day, spend a few hours of your precious life with us in the Birdhole watching this weeks movie, Final Destination 5!

Are you ready for Freddy? We sure are. It is a new year and a fresh start to make all our dreams come true. Last year was a Nightmare even Freddy could not have dreamt up.

This film was the first in the franchise that I saw in the theater. The success was at its peak and this movie was a reflection of that. The energy of "Dream Warriors" is gone and Freddy is now not really a menacing figure. More of a game show host with the prizes being special effects sequences. And while all the effects are top notch, there is not much heart in this movie. It feels like a safe copy of all the previous entries. Part 3 still had new elements and story ideas where this seems built around the kills.

And let's all face reality, a dog pissing on Freddy's grave is the worst way you could bring him back. Very lazy writing. I don't understand how that got green lit other than thinking the audience are chumps and will accept anything. Even as a ten year old I laughed at it.

But we can put that aside for now as we get into our winter time Snuggie's and watch, "A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master"

It's me Billy!

Actually it's Birdhands who is making those obscene phone calls and living in the attic. But we are still ready to watch a Canadian horror classic for the holidays.

Black Christmas is the original slasher movie and is not given the credit is deserves. Usually "Halloween" is cited as the film that launched the splatter craze. And while there is not much in the way of splatter and gore, there is mood, atmosphere, and suspense.

Join us as we celebrate, Black Christmas.

Is Gremlins a Christmas movie? Is Gremlins a horror movie? Is Gremlins a comedy?

Gremlins is all of the above and more. Combining old school story telling with top of the line special effects of the mid 80's you get a timeless masterpiece of cinema.

Yes it's true! We are watching a good movie this week on Birdhands. Prepare to go back in time when you wanted a Mogwai for Christmas and got a Popple instead.

A classic that still stands on it's own two feet, but is better with Birdhands.

Sorry Jack, Birdhands are back!

The truth is we never really left. We are confined to the Birdhole and decided to dip into some more sequels to keep us and you entertained.

The Child's Play franchise is really a hit or miss group of movies. The good thing is that even if they are not great films, just seeing the artistry that went into bringing the doll to life makes them worth watching. They dump the suspense from the first film and go full on Chucky for this entry as it seems that is what the audiences of the time wanted.

And who are we to complain. So grab some Jack in the Box and curl up with us on a bear skin rug in front of the fireplace as we watch...... Child's Play 2!

This week on Birdhands we go back to the future, or is it the past? Maybe we should just jump on top of our van and blast the Beach Boys as we car surf down the main strip. I don't think we could handle that amount of excitement anymore.

But what we can handle is a healthy dose of Michael J. Fox and werewolves. So this week won't you join us as we get sent back to the good old days of 1985 as we watch Teen Wolf!

Halloween 6 is one of the strangest movies ever made. The fork in the road where you try and go a different direction but his a brick wall. They easily could have just forgot about the whole mystery man in black story and rebooted the franchise, but no. They doubled down on a losing hand and lost everything. For this to be the last appearance for Dr. Loomis is a real shame.

For years people thought that the studio interference during this production was the reason for it being so messed up. The Producer's Cut  was rumored to be vastly superior and fan's were dying for an official release. But sometimes things are better in the theatre of the mind than on a DVD.

Join us today as we judge for ourselves.

Every day is Valentine's Day in the Birdhole. But today we choo-choo choose you as our special someone. We have some chocolates and flowers that are almost as old as this movie with your name on them.

This overlooked slasher film is more than a Canadian tax write off. It has some of the more creative kills you will see in a horror film from this era.

So put on a red dress and a gas mask and be My Bloody Valentine!