Birth Stories in Color

Hiring a doula is the part of Marissa's journey that set in motion building her dream birth team. Speaking with her doula and getting educated about her birth options, she would switch from her OBGYN to a midwife at eight months of her pregnancy. After discovering alarming rates for surgical births and episiotomies, she knew switching to midwifery care was more aligned with her and her husband's birth plan.

Marissa's estimated due date was July 4th, but her intuition told her her daughter would make her arrival on July 6th, so when labor began on July 6th, it wasn't a surprise. With her husband and doula supporting her, Marissa labored at home until they all felt that the contractions had reached a good point to head to the hospital.

Marissa attributes her birth team for really guiding her in the moments when she thought she couldn't do it. Her doula and husband continuously reminded her of her strength, and her midwife was talking her through her options. Whenever there might be a shift from her birth plan, she always made sure to check back in with Marissa and her husband about what they wanted to do. With that support, eight hours after arriving at the hospital, Marissa and her husband met their daughter.

In postpartum, their community support would be just as vital as their birth team. Navigating the newborn parenting fog, Marissa relied heavily on the check-ins, meal drop-offs, and any other filled request. And as things arose with breastfeeding, her doula, birth coach, and lactation consultant were always there with advice. Marissa is grateful to have a community to lean on and in every step of the way.

Deidre Brooks' story is timeless. Her memories of her pregnancy are so vividly detailed, which speaks to the power of pregnancy-related memories and how transformational the experience can be.

Picture this, it's 1989, and Deidre found out she was pregnant between 4-5 months gestation after multiple negative tests. The moment she found out became a learning experience for a nurse eager to share the news. Deidre flatly reminded her to work on her delivery as you don't know how a person feels about the pregnancy.  The pregnancy moved forward, and she discovered that she was losing weight and often feeling tired, which made her grow agitated with pregnancy. Deidre states that she was young and wasn't aware of what was proper nutrition for herself. She was working at a fast-food restaurant and made changes the best that she could. She worked with her provider to discuss options to increase her weight.

When she finally went into labor, it proved challenging as the doctor on call was aggressive and had problems in his communication style. He lacked respect and empathy for a laboring person. Not to have her voice silenced, Deidre made sure he knew how inadequate his service was to her in the moment.

Postpartum care with her nurse home visitor helped her overcome the impossible feelings of providing for her son as a single parent. She was thankful for the words of encouragement and for someone to see her plight.

Today, Deidre has been hearing the stories of Black women giving birth, and it has opened her eyes to the experiences of lack of care and attention plaguing Black Maternal Healthcare.  Her self-reflection triggers the things that could have gone wrong, and she shares that her experience shows, "That we are blessed even when we don't see it in the moment. There is always humor somewhere. That is what I find in reflecting on my story. Listening to the stats and stories about negative outcomes for black women makes this clear to me."

When Sharita and Anthony began to prep for their second child's birth, they followed the plan from their first's birth. Receiving care from the same OB, hiring a doula, and utilizing support strategies through hypnobirthing. Like her first pregnancy, Sharita began having some concerns with her blood pressure into her third trimester, as her readings were starting to be pretty high. Following the advice from her mother, a retired high-risk obstetrician (OB), at 34 weeks, she requested a full portfolio of tests done to see what was going on. However, she was surprised and concerned when her OB refused to do any of the testings. Reflecting with her husband about the situation, they decided changing care providers would be best for their birth plan.

Upon switching providers, her requests for testing and concerns were supported, and based on results; they decided that at 37 weeks, Sharita would be scheduled for an induction. Moving through the early stages of the induction, they expected a similar experience to their sons but soon realized that it would be a different story after a day of no change. They weren't expecting over the next five days were the tactics of aggressive intimidation and the assault on Sharita from their care team.

And while they left the hospital with a beautiful baby girl, they spent the beginning of their postpartum trying to piece together and heal from the trauma they endured during her birth. Sharita and Anthony are on the up end of their healing and what keeps them grounded is that for them, they did everything right - the assault was not their fault! Their story sheds light on the most straightforward fact, everyone deserves informed, consent focused, family-centered care because our experiences live with us forever.

Resources:

HypnoBirthing | classes for parents who strive for gentle, calm, and natural childbirth

ParentPhiphany | an innovative learning platform for parents

Doulas of Phoenix | doula support

The role of being a parent can sometimes feel like a very long rollercoaster ride. And Delaine Bradley expressed that for her to hold on for the ride is being transparent about the experience - there will be good parts and bad parts, but it all makes for beautiful memories.

When Dalaine found out she was pregnant with her third child, it wasn't something she was expecting and not something she was looking forward to. Her pregnancy came at a time when she was moving through a tumultuous relationship, work demands, and still trying to find her footing of being a mother of two. These stressors would show up in ways she wasn't prepared for - both mentally and physically. So much so that her doctor recommended she go on bed rest to slow down preterm labor hopefully.

Unable to follow those guidelines and find balance among it all, at 35 weeks, she went into spontaneous labor. With her baby being premature, ten-day NICU support was needed. During this time, Dalaine would begin the work of forgiving and healing herself - that even though her journey was bumpy, she still was the parent her daughter needed. Her daughter's birth taught her that to be the best for her children; she had to ensure she was being the best to herself! 

This is a story about loss - In memory of Derek Jerrell Anderson Jr., aka DJ

Alishia Anderson shares that motherhood has stretched her in ways she didn't even know she could be stretched. That the lessons she has taken from her journey are that "motherhood is very unpredictable, and having living children is an underrated blessing!"

Her motherhood journey was turned upside down as within her first pregnancy at 28 weeks, during a routine ultrasound appointment, they discovered her son no longer had a heartbeat. Needing time to process, Alishia and her husband decided to move forward with induction for the next day. That evening they prepared to meet their son, researching what it meant to lose a baby this early, the name for their experience, and trying to gain some sense of what to expect. After three days of labor, she gave birth to her angel baby Derrek Jerrell Anderson Jr., aka DJ. The groundwork that a supportive nurse provided in helping her understand the reality of what postpartum would look like as a stillbirth survivor was something Alishia found to be fundamental in finding healing and also navigating becoming a parent again.

A year later, Alisha and her husband would add their rainbow baby Grayson to their family and their golden baby Gavin two and a half years after that. And each story bringing its twists and turns but embracing everything within them. For Alishia, DJ brought her purpose, and she hopes her story and work provide other families with guidance and a sense of community support as they find their own healing. You can connect directly with Alshia on her website or on Instagram and Facebook.

Resources:

Still Here | a memoir of love, loss, and triumph after loss by Alishia Anderson

The 4:8 Principle | the secret to a joy-filled life by Tommy Newberry

Still Birthday | bereavement doulas and resources

Sara Reardon is a pelvic floor health therapist. A therapist that works with the muscles, nerves, and tissues in the pelvic region of the body, muscles we are using every day in many different ways. Having been in this work for over eight years serving individuals on all spectrums of their birth journey, when she was pregnant with her first son, it was still a shock to her all the shifts and challenges of being pregnant.

But that work also encouraged her to be prepared for her birth. Working with individuals who came to her when they were experience issues or problems with their pelvic health, she wanted to do all she could to be on the preventive side. She hired a doula, surrounded herself with a care team that fully supported her vision for a low intervention, unmedicated birth, and educated herself on all her options. And at 38 and a half weeks, she was thrown into precipitous labor. Not being able to reach her doula, she relied on her husband to guide her through her comfort measures. Unbeknownst to them, she had dilated to 10 cm while at home, and upon arriving at the hospital and into a delivery room, her son was born 4 mins later.

Sara describes postpartum as being "harder than I ever expected." While her birth was amazing, she realized that centralized postpartum support was non-existent. She had questions about breastfeeding, tongue ties, bottle feeding, and navigating the unknowns of parenthood. There was never a direct line of where to get the support from, and what felt like always receiving another referral to someone who may or may not be able to help.

Sara and her husband eventually found their rhythm, but her experience also highlighted a lack of discussion around how important pelvic health was in that recovery. Her platform of the Vaginina Whisperer has shifted from just a social media account of pregnancy, postpartum, and pelvic health tips to family and friends to serve as a comprehensive resource focused on improving access to pelvic health physical therapy and education for individuals worldwide. The Vagina Whisperer treats individuals of all genders in both in-person offerings from their office in New Orleans, Louisiana, and online services to support those afar. No matter where you are on your pelvic health journey, seeking care from a pelvic health therapist can be beneficial. To connect with Sara, head to her website, or find her on Instagram.

Resources:

The Birth Partner | a complete guide to childbirth for dads, partners, doulas, and all other labor companions by Penny Simkin

Pelvic Rehab | directory for patients searching for pelvic rehabilitation practitioners

Academy of Pelvic Health | pelvic health therapist directory

This is a story about loss - In memory of Carter, Stokely, and Ellison

Marise Angibeau Gray shared with us her journey of birthing her three angel babies and her daughter Memphis. A story she hopes can be instrumental in helping other people navigate their own. 

When Marise and her husband found out they were pregnant with their first son, there was a sense of shock, but soon followed with overwhelming joy and excitement. In the early parts, Marise did experience spotting, a concern she brought to her care provider, who was pretty dismissive about it—contributing that it was normal and pretty common. Come 11 weeks, Marise had begun having cramping and her spotting, again she brought this to her doctor's attention, an ultrasound was done, and everything seemed to be okay. Yet as the week continued, things began to worsen, and by the end of the week, she was having a spontaneous miscarriage. Something she wasn't prepared for - her water breaking, having contractions and having her baby pass through her womb. After her loss, her life spun into survival mode.

These feelings of confusion, heartbreak, grief, and processing through healing would continue on a cycle - as, in the next two years, they would become pregnant twice more and lose two more sons. 

Marise and her husband found strength in each other and their village. She also extended her support system and began meeting with a therapist and monthly support group. And when they found out they were pregnant again, they didn't want to put pressure on themselves and took the pregnancy day by day. A mantra Marise carried with her often, "I am a birth giver. I'm able to carry another life, no matter how short or how long." kept her grounded throughout the pregnancy. At 39 weeks, she elected to be induced, and her daughter Memphys was born amongst peace and calm. This is a story of healing, hope, and joy! 

Resources:

Irth App | "Yelp-like" review & rating app for hospitals & physicians made by and for Black women & birthing people of color

Sisters in Loss | digital media platform dedicated to replacing silence with storytelling around pregnancy and infant loss and infertility of black women

Still Birthday | bereavement doulas and resources

Star Legacy Foundation | stillbirth prevention and research

Far As The Curse Is Found | searching for God in infertility, miscarriage, and stillbirth by Abigail Waldron

The First 40 Days | postpartum preparation and support book by Heng Ou

The Fourth Trimester | a postpartum guide to healing your body, balancing your emotions, and restoring your vitality by Kimberly Ann Johnson

Community Herbalist and Doula Taylor Huntley shared her two birth experiences that inspired her work and mission. Taylor’s first pregnancy was a surprise that led her down the rabbit hole of learning all of the possible options. She found herself needing to self-advocate more than she expected as she dealt with being “overweight.” She surprised her provider with how healthy she was and not allowing her race to be a risk factor. Her provider started discussing induction at 37 weeks, and Taylor found herself agreeing after some bullying. Taylor put her foot down and called her doctor to cancel the induction on the day she was supposed to check-in. An ominous voicemail from her provider after the cancellation led Taylor to fire her provider at term. She found a midwife to continue her prenatal care and refer her to a hospital with on-call CNMs. The stars aligned as Taylor arrived at the hospital at 42 weeks and was able to have the preferred midwife catch her baby. Taylor was thankful that she hired a doula to support her pregnancy and labor as she continued to have push back about her birth plan from the nurses at the hospital.

Taylor gathered herself and all of her knowledge as she embarked on her second pregnancy. She knew what she wanted and how to get it. A Black midwife supported this pregnancy, and it was a planned homebirth. Taylor didn’t have the support from her parents regarding homebirth, but she pushed forward because it was her desire. Their concerns were based on their personal health experiences. She successfully labor at home and delivered in her home with her partner and birth team.

Taylor found healing in her homebirth experience after having challenges in her first pregnancy. Her voice was heard and honored. Taylor’s births have led her to serve in a space for Black women through birthwork.

Resources:

Mama Mangos Care | Austin, TX family support

Mama Sana Vibrant Woman | free pregnancy, birth and postpartum support in Austin and Travis County

Black Mamas ATX | holistic care for black women before, during and after childbirth

The Woman’s Earth | global sisterhood for women of color

Erica Butler, founder, and Sex Educator for Happ E. SexTalk, an education consulting company focused on challenging the media and cultural messages pertaining to female sexuality, body image, and sexual pleasure – specifically the historically negative and hypersexualized images of Black female sexuality. Erica shared her birth story with us, discussed her work and its importance in reproductive health and justice.

Erica opened up about both of her pregnancies. The first pregnancy was without complications and only mild nausea but eventually led to an emergency surgical birth. Her personal connection to a local doula organization, ROOTT, allowed her and her husband to envision birth with a new lens during her second pregnancy. She found herself healthily losing weight as she shifted her diet with her doula's support and recommendations. She managed a gestational diabetes diagnosis with her diet as well. Identifying stressors during pregnancy helped Erica to understand how her body worked. Despite her best plans and she was met with placenta previa that would lead to a scheduled surgical birth. The delivery went well, but the postpartum experience was met with low blood sugar levels, lactation issues, medical provider issues, and anxiety. Erica and her husband, David, leaned into their own strength and village for support to help them.

Resources:

Sex Positive Families | education and resources that help families raise sexually healthy children using a shame-free, comprehensive, and pleasure-positive approach

AMAZE | provides young adolescents around the globe with medically accurate, age-appropriate, affirming, and honest sex education online

Guttmacher | leading research and policy organization committed to advancing sexual and reproductive health and rights in the United States and globally

Bedsider | free birth control support network for women ages 18–29

Dr. Lexx Brown-James l couples clinician and sex educator

Sponsors:

Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) | reproductive justice organization

ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. ROOTT’s mission is to comprehensively restore our collective well-being through collaboration, resource allocation, research & re-empowerment, in order to meet the needs of Black parents & families. If you and your family are planning, pregnant, or in your postpartum period, please reach out to ROOTT at www.roottrj.org. Financial assistance is available. You can also connect with ROOTT at 614-398-1766 or email [email protected]

Shenee is a counselor who focuses on serving pregnancy and postpartum women. Her second pregnancy was going well until her 32nd week presented with bleeding the same week as her baby shower. She was blessed to have additional support in town, her husband stayed with their older daughter, and her best friend joined her at the hospital over the next three days. The bleeding was unexplained, but she was treated to prevent a preterm birth. She was advised to stop working, but she pushed for less restrictive discharge orders as she believed she had a vascular cervix. Her providers suspected placental abruption as she found herself back at the hospital less than 24 hours later.

Shenee eventually agreed to stay at the hospital until her baby was born to keep them both safe. There was a period of surrender that led to a month-long hospital stay. This was followed by a feeling of body shame and grief for the pregnancy experience she had expected. Her husband and daughter would visit every other day and enhanced their bond during their time together. Shenee dug deep and started each day with intention and positive affirmations that would later inspire her counseling work. The low intervention birth plan had made some significant changes, but she managed to maintain some of her choices. Tune in to hear how her birth culminated and meet the new mother birthed in adversity.

Resources:

Postpartum Support Internation | online postpartum support, education, and local resource information

Pregnancy Therapist (Shenee Bend, LPC) | pregnancy and postpartum counseling