Birth Stories in Color

There is a narrative that surrounds birth, an idea of extremes, Birth Stories in Color hope is that we would be able to unveil all the stories ave those in the in-between. Highlighting the spectrum of birth, the variety of experiences, and those filled with joy, so that the community could see that it is possible to birth from a place of power rather than fear.

When submitting her story, Nicole was concerned that she wouldn't have "enough" to share. That her story would be unrelatable to others, but of course, that's not the case! Nicole had been apprehensive about being a parent and knew from the beginning that she would need to prepare herself not only physically, but also mentally and spiritually. Prep began with creating a birthing team that could support her fully. She immersed herself in birth videos and birth. She continued with her active lifestyle and took extra precaution and care by seeing a Chiropracter to ensure her body and baby were in alignment. Nicole also relied heavily on affirmations, whenever fear or distractions would come up she would affirm aloud that her baby knew what to do, she knew what to do, and they both were going to be able to do this together.

Labor began on Mother's day - and the word that arose for Nicole in describing her story was "surreal." Throughout, there was a deep connection to what her baby needed. Almost like a pull, "I felt like I was somewhere trying to retrieve my baby." After laboring at home for 10 hours, she felt an intense urge that her baby was ready to come and arrived at the hospital at 9 cm dilated. Nicole would stay tapped into her connectedness and intuition until her baby was earthside in 3 pushes.

From her journey came support to others. As her friends began expanding their families, they sought advice from her on how to prepare for an unmedicated birth. Nicole started writing her story and is working on a book, exploring intergenerational trauma and how that impacts our experience of parenthood, but also sharing the steps she took to manifesting the birth she envisioned for herself. Her story is an excellent reflection of what birth can be, a time of trusting your body and trusting your baby.

Resources:

Oasis Birth Doula | doula support

Stroller Strides | functional, total-body conditioning workout designed for moms with kids in tow

Milan Sanders joined us to share her birth story that she worked hard at preparing for that led her to a unplanned home birth. Her pregnancy started during her last semester of college, which was a busy season of her life. She fearfully shared her news with her mother and was surprised that her mother was supportive, and it became an opportunity for them to bond. Her mother wanted to be present every step of the way, and it was in this space that her mother held space for her to make a significant decision within motherhood.

Pregnancy soon became challenging for Milan, both mentally and physically. Dehydration became a weekly struggle and depression compounded the physical drain on her body. She was sick during her entire pregnancy, even leading up to labor.

Milan prepared for birth with her partner by attending a childbirth education class, which they found helpful. She set in her mind to have an unmedicated birth after learning of the potential effects on her baby. When Milan finally went into labor, she contacted Labor & Delivery when her contractions/surges were 3-1-1 (3 minutes apart, lasting 1 minute, for an hour). The nurse didn’t believe she was in labor and told her to stay home. She waited a few hours and went to the hospital when she could no longer speak during contractions/surges. When she arrived, she had not dilated, the doctor gave her morphine without her consent and sent her home. When she arrived back home, things shifted so quickly that an unplanned home birth became imminent. Milan’s experience is not unique as some women dilate quickly, and even more common is a provider not performing a proper cervical check. She spoke up and advocated for herself but still had challenges being heard. Milan encourages women to continue to speak up for themselves.

This is a story about loss - In memory of Malachi Cayden Boatwright. Crystall was 28 weeks before she found out she was pregnant. Working in the wellness and hospitality industry and during a pretty chaotic time, she had attributed her symptoms of fatigue and sickness to the stress of work. She soon started feeling worse and wanting to make sure there wasn't a serious problem she went to the doctor - who expressed to her that she was pregnant, 28 weeks, and there were some daunting concerns about the baby's health. They spent the rest of the day through testing and trying to process all the information. There was no amniotic fluid, baby's organs and kidneys were underdeveloped, and she would need to carry to term.

Crystall and her husband spent the next months getting to know their son and soaking up as much of the time they had with him in joy. Malachi was born 7lbs, eyes bright and open taking in his parents. After some time in NICU, he transitioned with his father rocking and singing to him. Crystall is honest that it was tough and painful to try and go back to what was. As she put it, how do you explain to people what you went through and what you're going through - "There is no baby in me and no baby in my arms."

Crystall attributes that the place she is currently on her journey is due to finding community and other families that had walked in her shoes. Others allowed her to share her truth, all parts of it without question, and with lots of love. There is healing in community, there is support in community, and there is always space in community - in whatever capacity you may need it.

Resources:

Sisters in Loss Podcast | digital media platform dedicated to replacing silence with storytelling around pregnancy and infant loss and infertility of black women

Alicia is a licensed social worker, so being aware and engaged in mental health practices has a significant role in her life. Not being one ever to envision herself with children, finding out she was pregnant with twins was an immense delight for Alicia and her husband, Solomon. Reflecting on her past mental health, experiences with clients and friends, Alicia knew for her it was important that she didn't lose her identity - a considerable part of her prep was maintaining rituals and practices that supported her. This also included making sure that she and Solomon were consistently checking in on how they each were feeling during this change. A practice that would serve as a strong foundation for the rest of their journey.

When they went in for the birth of their twins, Alicia and Solomon did not expect it to be three days - three days filled with all the emotions. As they worked through multiple induction methods, a failed epidural, and a lengthy pushing time, Solomon could feel in his spirit that something was off. In discussions with the doctor on the third day, Solomon's suspicions were confirmed as the doctor indicated the trajectory they were on was unsafe. A surgical birth would be the best option for Alicia and the twins.

Healing from their experience didn't happen immediately and took community support. Alicia and Solomon tapped into their families, supported each other through individual and couples therapy. And maintaining the foundation, they had created of always checking in with each other and speaking on their feelings. As we learned during Black Maternal Health Week, statistics show that up to 20 percent of birthing parents develop a perinatal mental health illness, such as depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or psychosis, either during pregnancy or the year after giving birth and sometimes beyond. For black birthing parents, that risk is doubled. With Alicia and Solomon's story, we also hear the impact and ways mental health can have on partners. As we prepare to grow our families, we must also remember that it's not just about the physical shifts but also the mental.

Resources:

Shades of Blue Project | maternal mental health advocacy, treatment and support

Barbers Get Mental Health Training to Aid Black Communities | news article

Building Endurance PLLC | mental health group

When we asked Gabrielle to describe her birth in 3-4 sentences, all we could focus on was the last line; "Our story is to remind ALL MOMS to stay the course, work your journey, and PUSH BACK when medical practitioners say "No." Her birth story is a testament to her unwavering faith and fight for justice.

From the beginning, Gabrielle and her fiance knew with the birth of their son; they were going to do things differently this time around. They hired a doula, hired a midwife, and began preparing for their homebirth. Yet seven months into their pregnancy, they were hit with the news that their midwife wouldn't be able to support them, and they had to go back to the drawing board. They visited different hospitals until they found one that felt right and enrolled in a nine-week intensive birth class. In this class, not only did they learn about childbirth but how to control their care, work with sand speak with their care providers to ensure that all decisions were based on and from informed consent. The lessons learned from this class would be vital in their advocacy and care during and after their son's birth.

Gabrielle went into spontaneous labor and, for the most part, was progressing well. However, during a cervical check, it was noticed that he was breech - her sons positioned was never checked during their last appointment or even upon their arrival to the hospital. The on-call midwife advised her that they would need to move forward with surgical birth. With hesitation, they sought a second opinion and, after talking through their options with family, decided to continue with the surgical birth. Her son was born, but not breathing - care providers eventually revived him, but due to the length of time he was without oxygen, they were unsure if he would make it through the night. Gabrielle made that doctor eat his words, pray with her and her family, and demanded that no stone go unturned in her son's care. Her experience highlights the dark parts of birth, the parts we hope never happen, and yet it brings forth what can happen when you have the pieces to be empowered and use them fully.

July is Fibroid Awareness Month - studies show that Black women suffer from fibroids 2-3 times more than white women and tend to experience fibroids at a younger age and often more severely. With those numbers, Black women are also 2 to 3 times more likely to undergo surgery to manage their fibroids. With such a common occurrence, few women are open about their experience, know about treatment options, or what options they have after having a myomectomy.

In this episode, Mabel walks us through her infertility journey, a pregnancy with fibroids, advocating for a trial of labor after laparoscopic myomectomy, and a redemptive vaginal birth. At 26 years old, she found out that she had fibroids, which she would never have expected. Researching and working with her care provider, Mabel decided the best option for her would be to get her fibroids removed through surgery. Knowing that she and her husband would want to expand their family, she decided to move forward with laparoscopic myomectomy. A minimally invasive procedure to remove fibroids, but also provides a better chance for having vaginal births. 

Whether it be abdominal or laparoscopic, most myomectomy candidates are not offered a trial of labor. When she found out she was pregnant, Mabel was aware of the odds, but standing firm in her wants and needs, she went through a dozen no's before meeting a doctor who was willing to step out of his comfort zone and support her. This episode covers a myriad of topics; diastasis recti, pelvic floor health, fibroids, blood transfusions, hemorrhaging, drawing boundaries with family, but most importantly, advocating for ourselves as Mabel puts it "having the nerve" to stand up and demand what we want. 

Resources:

Within Her Birth Services (Mabel Bashorun) | birth doula services

The Birth Hour | birth story podcast

Mama Natural Week by Week Guide to Natural Pregnancy and Childbirth | pregnancy & childbirth book by Genevieve Howland

Supernatural Childbirth | childbirth book by Jackie Mize

VBAML (vaginal birth after laparoscopic myomectomy) | research articles & information

• Pregnancy and Delivery After Laparoscopic Myomectomy (Journal of Minimally Invasive Gynecology)
• Pregnancy and delivery after laparoscopic myomectomy (National Library of Medicine)
• Pregnancy Outcome and Deliveries Following Laparoscopic Myomectomy (Human Reproduction Volume 15, Issue 4)

Legaci Allong shared her planned unassisted, unmedicated, water-lotus birth in which she was supported by her husband, mother, and her other two children. Legaci and her family reside in Toronto, Canada, where many women birth with a midwife at home. Her first two pregnancies led her through a journey of self-discovery and determination.

Legaci always wanted to have an unassisted home birth but had refrained from moving forward during her previous pregnancies to help her husband be more comfortable and at ease during labor and delivery. She understood his apprehension as she states, “Most women don’t know how capable they are… He didn’t yet know what I was actually capable of.” They began preparing their home by creating a checklist of items and prepared their minds by watching “free birth” videos. Legaci continued to work with a midwife for general prenatal care while making decisions that didn’t include some of the usual standard procedures or practices. She made a point to note that she didn’t recommend an unassisted homebirth for everyone as there are factors to consider regarding health, safety, and an understanding of one’s self. Knowledge of self and sharing who she was and her personal beliefs with her provider early on created space for her to follow her instincts. She shifted the narrative in her experience by not allowing her medical chart to be the only information provided about who she was.

When the time came for her labor to start, she stayed in tune with her body and kept her husband abreast of how she felt. He joined her in preparing and documenting the experience. Legaci shared how accomplished she felt the moment her son was delivered. Her sons were able to witness her birth, their baby brother into her arms. After choosing a lotus birth, Legaci was able to take her time and move slowly in the first few days of postpartum. Life with two older children would prove to be a test on her need to rest and heal. As you tune in to listen, Legaci wants to encourage women to know how strong they are, feel safe during birth, and maintain control of what they can.

We know the statistics for black maternal and infant health. We understand the risks of bringing forth life within black bodies, and the narrative is heavy. As we strive for a change, it's also imperative to have balance, and joy is a part of the resistance. Shannon's experience is full of love, community care, and joy! 

As birth workers, we were ecstatic that Shannon would be sharing her experience with her Doula Sharea. When prepping for her birth, Shannon listened to lots of birth stories. Prepping in this way showed her there were many ways birth could happen and the importance of laboring at home as long as possible. Even with a plan, there would be a point of necessary surrender and the value in doula support, specifically from a black doula. Having that be a theme of many of the stories, she listened to Shannon, sought out a black doula in her community, and found Sharea. Upon meeting Sharea it was an immediate connection, and she added her to her birth team on the spot. 

As a doula, when you support someone during their birth, you hope that the birthing person sees their strength. That when they reflect on that experience and see just how powerful they were and that it held moments that will bring them joy forever. With the support of her birth team, her husband, her prep through research and curiosity, Shannon looks back at that time and speaks without hesitation that it truly showed her, "there is nothing I can't do!"

Resources

Evidence Based Birth | evidence-based information on pregnancy and childbirth

Mama Natural | resources and guides for pregnancy and childbirth 

Supporting Hands Doula Care (Sharea Jenkins) | doula support

Coach Cass is a relationship coach and author of Princess Zara's Birthday Tradition. A children's character created by Coach Cass to promote diverse representation in mainstream media. Cass and her husband started the journey of conception after some nudging from their family. She started checking for ovulation and taking pregnancy tests regularly. Cass learned a new skillset as most people spend most of their lives trying not to get pregnant until they're ready.

Learning all they could to help plan for their child's birth was very important for Cass and her husband. Yet they felt that when their questions and concerns were brought to their care provider, they were either ignored or dismissed. Her provider's attitude toward her wanting to explore traditional birthing methods against the usual hospital protocols proved to be a deciding factor in the shift of her care. Making a tough decision, at 33 weeks, Cass and her husband transferred their care to a midwife. Their plan shifted to a birthing center that allowed her to create an environment and team that met the needs of her birth vision. Cass focused on how important it was to sit with her midwife, go through her transferred records, how much it meant to her to be heard, and have her time-honored. Join us and listen in for an empowering story of controlling what you can, educating yourself, and building your birth dream team.

Resources

Le Tote Maternity | maternity fashion

Mirlande “Mimi” Casseus (Mimi MyMidwife) | licensed midwife

Tiquana Williams (Milk Made Doula) | doula support

Hollywood Birth Center | birth center

The business of Being Born | documentary centered around childbirth in America

Zara & Ziggy | children’s book

Inspire Many | Coach Cass Love Coach

Every birth is different, and even with a family with multiple children, each experience is a reminder that nothing is in our control. This was the case for Cassandre and her husband, Dorian. With their first pregnancy and birth, for the most part, everything went as planned. The pregnancy was pretty straightforward, and at 39 weeks, their son was born precisely in the way they envisioned it. With their second son, everything seemed to be on target to follow suit. They made some shifts this time around, taking a childbirth education class, prepared to birth at a birthing center, and hired a doula for support.

While she knew she shouldn't make comparisons, around 37 weeks, Cassandre began questioning what to expect. Around this time with her first, she was already showing signs for his arrival. An earlier incident in the pregnancy had caused some uneasiness, a feeling that didn't fade, and by 39 weeks at her regularly scheduled apt, she made sure to advocate strongly that every test be ran to ensure everything was ok. Results yielded that nothing directly was concerning, and showing no signs of being in labor Cassandre went home. Little did she know that in a couple of hours, they would be headed to the hospital via ambulance, and upon arrival birthing her son in one push - but there were some complications. He was not breathing, and due to not knowing how long he had been without oxygen and other symptoms, he was placed in a medically induced coma for three days to preserve brain function. It was a wild ride of anticipation of would this work, but he was able to recover and come home with his family. Cassandre describes their experience as a miracle. While the early journey of postpartum was an adjustment, it welded many lessons for their family, all rooted in leaning into their intuitions and the unexpected. Cassandre's wish is that all who listen to her story, don't see it as a scary experience but a source to remind you always to trust yourself.

Cassandre is also the creator and host of the podcast Be Well Sis, a podcast centered around wellness for black women. When speaking about wellness, black women tend to be erased from those conversations. Be Well, Sis, black women, their voices, and experiences are centered. To connect in community with Cassandre's head over to her website (Be Well Sis) or follow her via social media (@bewellsis_podcast)

Resources

BabyBuddha Breastpump | portable battery-powered single and double breast pump

My Darling Doula | Femetta Darling, doula & childbirth educator