Birth Stories in Color

Codie describes her pregnancies and births as a full-circle experience. Even before being pregnant, she had always immersed herself in all things birth related. When Codie found out she was pregnant with her first child, she began looking deeper into all of her options about what her experience could be.  A disconnect for Codie was from all the births she had seen, read about, and heard of; these individuals didn't look like her or represent what she thought birth for black women was like. Many of her friends and family had medicated births or c-sections. It wasn't until she had a conversation with a dear friend who had homebirths of her own, that the reality that she could have an out of hospital birth was possible for her as well.

While Codie and Tommy had planned to birth in a birth center, a turn of events would have them shifting to have a home birth, supported by midwife Heather Schwartz and student midwife Kim Durdin. As we know, birth plans change, and Codie went from a homebirth to a transfer to a hospital with an epidural and a c-section. While she was ecstatic to have a healthy baby and be a mother, a thought that did linger in the back of her mind was that those who said this would be her story were right.

When she found out, she was pregnant the second time, and with twins, there was a mix of excitement but also fear that she wouldn't be able to have a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean). From the beginning, she was intentional about her support and ultimately built an empowering birth team, with care providers who supported her in trusting and believing herself to do that. 

Resources: 

Kimberly Durdin | IBCLC & Student Midwife

Kindred Space LA | a hub for midwifery care, doula support, lactation consulting, education, support groups, enrichment, meditation and movement.

Black Love | a docu-series created to highlight love stories from the Black community.

The saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child" - hearing Tayo and her mother share Tayo's birth experience not only affirms this but reveals it takes a village to birth a mother.

Tayo knew for her third pregnancy and birth; she was going to need to facilitate her experience with intense intention. From her previous births, birthing at a hospital was not an option, so with the support of her mother and husband, she prepared to have a family homebirth, absent of a midwife. Yet, this pregnancy was opposite from her others, and there was a point where she thought her homebirth wouldn't come to fruition. Along with balancing her children, work, being a business owner, and her relationships, she also loss her father 13 weeks into the pregnancy. This emotional rollercoaster showed up both physically and mentally for Tayo. It also brought to the forefront everything she hadn't addressed from her previous pregnancies.

Before, Tayo relied heavily on her mother for support throughout her birth journey. This time around, her mother pushed for Tayo and her husband to create a stronger bond they could depend on and believe in each other as a support unit. That bond allowed Tayo's husband to show up for her. Taking the reins, he built their support. Reaching out to specific people, he assigned them roles, gave them space to select what felt right for them in showing up to support Tayo throughout her birth and postpartum.

Reimagining her village, she let herself to be fully loved and cared for, throughout the pregnancy, her birth, and at the beginning of her postpartum and still currently. Everyone showing up for her makes her show up for herself.

Tayo and Toni have a beautiful bond; they have now created a space to support and uplift the families in their community in that same sacred love. The Chicago Birth Collective is the village, a collective of birth workers, healers, and wellness practitioners serving and healing Black families across Chicago.

Tayo and Toni laid the foundation on what it means to create a village you can depend on, and find solace. As a family and the work of Chicago Birthworks Collective, they are embodying that to the fullest.

The saying goes, "it takes a village to raise a child" - hearing Tayo and her mother share Tayo's birth experience not only affirms this but reveals it takes a village to birth a mother.

Tayo knew for her third pregnancy and birth; she was going to need to facilitate her experience with intense intention. From her previous births, birthing at a hospital was not an option, so with the support of her mother and husband, she prepared to have a family homebirth, absent of a midwife. Yet, this pregnancy was opposite from her others, and there was a point where she thought her homebirth wouldn't come to fruition. Along with balancing her children, work, being a business owner, and her relationships, she also loss her father 13 weeks into the pregnancy. This emotional rollercoaster showed up both physically and mentally for Tayo. It also brought to the forefront everything she hadn't addressed from her previous pregnancies.

Before, Tayo relied heavily on her mother for support throughout her birth journey. This time around, her mother pushed for Tayo and her husband to create a stronger bond they could depend on and believe in each other as a support unit. That bond allowed Tayo's husband to show up for her. Taking the reins, he built their support. Reaching out to specific people, he assigned them roles, gave them space to select what felt right for them in showing up to support Tayo throughout her birth and postpartum.

Reimagining her village, she let herself to be fully loved and cared for, throughout the pregnancy, her birth, and at the beginning of her postpartum and still currently. Everyone showing up for her makes her show up for herself.

Tayo and Toni have a beautiful bond; they have now created a space to support and uplift the families in their community in that same sacred love. The Chicago Birth Collective is the village, a collective of birth workers, healers, and wellness practitioners serving and healing Black families across Chicago.

Tayo and Toni laid the foundation on what it means to create a village you can depend on, and find solace. As a family and the work of Chicago Birthworks Collective, they are embodying that to the fullest.

The theme of this year's Black Maternal Health Week is, Centering Black Mamas: The Right to Live and Thrive - we feel that Anique and Ali's birth story aligns beautifully. When they found out they were pregnant, Anique and Ali wanted this birth experience to be different. From the birth of their son resulting in an emergency c-section, the length of time it took for them to conceive, and Anique having suffered from postpartum blues, they were holding on to fear that the second time around would be the same. To shift that, they both knew they would need to walk through this with a stronger sense of autonomy.

They became intentional about their preparation. Researching birth outcomes for black women, being clear on Anique's health, receiving support from a black care provider, and support from a black doula. That intentionality provided them the tools and confidence to find power in their voices and their family's story.

We are genuinely passionate about our storytellers being the complete voice for their stories. One way we carry this through is by asking them to create the titles for their episodes, asking them to reflect on what name is evoked from their experience and how they want the world to recognize it. "Our daughter's name means Bringer of Light. During my second pregnancy, I gained peace with my birthing process. I learned so much information regarding black maternal health, what it means to have a doula, my body, and a wonderful breastfeeding journey thus far! I feel I have a light that I am ready to pass on to other mama's!!" - Anique

We are grateful for the sponsorship of this episode and other ROOTT activities this week. We would also like to acknowledge the Black Mamas Matter Alliance and all the Kindred Partners and collaborators for dedication to Black Mamas and families.

Resources:

Black Mamas Matter Alliance |Black women-led cross-sectoral alliance. Centering Black mamas to advocate, drive research, build power, and shift culture for Black maternal health, rights, and justice.

Too Good Eats | gourmet frozen pops

Sponsors:

ROOTT | Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) black women-led reproductive justice organization dedicated to collectively restoring our well-being through self-determination, collaboration, and resources to meet the needs of women and families within communities.

Do you know your birth story - do you know what your parent's experience was like bringing you forth into the world? For many, conversations about our own births occur once we are having our children, possibly much later than that. This episode was special in that our host's Laurel's mother, Lavita, shared her four birth stories. For Lavita, she expresses that all four of her pregnancies were healthy and straightforward and that, for the most part, her births were the same. Each of her labors was 6 hours long and each different in their regard.

Lavita has always been open with her children about her experience as their mother. It was important for her that she speaks openly and with transparency about her own birth experiences. She was allowing them to see themselves in her story and prepare for their parenthood journeys.

Recounting her own birth stories and experiencing birth as a grandmother with her daughter Laurel, brought to the forefront the generational shifts that birth can provide. Knowledge of how our families experience pregnancy and birth strengthens generational bonds—a picture of how the world has changed around birth and how our families have changed as well.

Beyond her work as a mother and business owner, Lavita strives to inspire others through her life stories and mentorship. Her book, A Father's Love, self-published in 2009, was written to share her experience of growing up fatherless. If you would like to connect with Lavita, head to her site Lovies Inspirational Blog.

When asked what image she saw in her mind of her family, Mela replied with, " I am the chief, and I am holding it down." At a young age, she realized how important art was to who she was and her growth. Utilizing that as a creative outlet has not only empowered her but lit the fire in her journey of motherhood.

Her birth stories highlight the importance of representation in care and understanding your rights as a patient. During her first pregnancy, Mela was supported by midwives and planned to have her baby at the birth center. As with many of our birth stories, her plans shifted. After going into spontaneous labor and arriving at the hospital, she learned that there was meconium (a baby's first poop). The doctors informed her that because of this, they were giving her 24 hours to deliver her baby, and would need to start her on Pitocin to help her labor progress faster. What stands out to Mela, is that she didn't know what was happening throughout her experience, including never consenting to the episiotomy she was given. Her second pregnancy allowed her to connect the dots from her first, and she prepared to have a birth led by her voice.

Beyond sharing her birth stories, Mela also brings to light her co-parenting journey. Working through those dynamics inspired her to create a supportive corner for other mothers on a similar path as hers. Her platform Let's Talk Mother came out of sharing her co-parenting journey and being a single mother - a physical form of the community she had been building. Mela has found strength in her journey and story, those experiences have given her the tools to be the mother she is today, and to support other mothers to feel empowered as well.

Divine Nicholas is well versed in birth work support, not only from the spectrum of which her children were born - birth center to hospital transfer, homebirth, and unassisted births but also in how she has supported families.

Her journey as a birth worker began after the birth of her second child, when she trained as a doula with the International Center for Traditional Childbearing (ICTC), under the founder Shafia Monroe. In the early days of work, the sentiment that resonated with her was being a resource for other mothers. With the age of her children, she moved as they moved. She was finding ways to incorporate them within her birth work and being creative within the many facets of supporting families on their parenthood journeys. Divine started her nonprofit - community birth companion, becoming a doula, certified lactation counselor, and now with her children being older working towards becoming a midwife. It was essential for her that on her journey, she also honored her children's childhood.

Being a foundation of support rooted in the Southern Tradition of healing is etched throughout Divine's family. Her 6-week in-person and online workshop Grandma's Hands Pregnancy and Postpartum Herbs & Nutrition in the Southern Tradition is a reflection of that. It is an ethnobotany course based in the folk, historical healing traditions of the South and particularly Black Southern Midwives. A modality of healing that focused on how we feel about sickness, where do we think it comes from, and focused on healing the whole person.

Divine's support and teachings are intended to be a reminder to the community - a reminder that we have the tools for our healing. She reminds us that to hold onto those tools and traditions; we must pass these on. Sharing our stories creates a connection and lineage to do so. To connect with Divine, you can find her on Instagram and Facebook @divinebirthwisdom. To find out more about Grandma's Hand workshop or to register head to Divine Birth Wisdom.

After surprising her husband with their third positive pregnancy test, the Jacksons began to prepare for life as a family of five. They both had learned so much about the birth process from their previous pregnancies. Danielle had become a certified doula and attended about 20 births in that capacity since her last personal birth. Things had changed, she’d seen a lot in sacred birth spaces. Some unnecessary, some necessary, and many simply inspiring. She decided to use her skills and resources to take the lead in a pregnancy that surprised her while caring for her own doula clients. She had helped numerous women to birth without fear but with knowledge of self and the physiological process of birth. Danielle chose to be supported by her fellow doulas of Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) and birth unmedicated with a midwifery team.

Ray had a different vantage point as a father of two and having watched Danielle’s growth as a woman. He was excited to welcome his first son and take on his role as a caregiver during the postpartum period. Ray was grateful to have the support of the doula team for prenatal appointments and home visits. Allowing him to relax and know that Danielle was well taken care of, and she was in good health. Fathers often have unspoken concerns. Ray had not anticipated how long they would labor at home or how things would go for trying an unmedicated birth after choosing epidurals for the first two births. Needless to say, he garnered a whole new perspective for the work his wife does with other families.

Sponsors:

Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) | reproductive justice organization

ROOTT is a Black women-led reproductive justice organization dedicated to collectively restoring our well-being through self-determination, collaboration, and resources to meet the needs of women and families within communities. To connect with ROOTT go to www.ROOTTRJ.org.

Briara considers herself an intense planner. When she became pregnant it was definitely a shock. While it wasn't something she planned for, she immediately felt connected to her son and immersed herself in preparing for parenthood. Briara's birth however shifted in ways she hadn’t prepared for, such as pushing for two hours and delivering her son via a surgical birth. As we listen to her story, we are reminded that even with all the preparation in the world, we cannot control birth.

After having her son, she expressed that physically she healed well, yet struggled healing mentally. When considering what postpartum might look like, she didn't think postpartum depression was something that would affect her. Looking at all the risk factors, in her mind, she didn't fit the mold. Her experience with postpartum depression required her to process her birth, examine how she was taking care of herself, and reflect on her expectations of what parenthood should look like. In doing that work, she acquired the tools to navigate that part of her postpartum journey.

Briara found power in telling her story and wanted to spread awareness while doing so. She founded Melanin Mommies, a Philadelphia based nonprofit and safe space for pregnant, new and seasoned mothers alike. Lowery noticed that the mothers in her community did not have as much access to resources as other mothers in more affluent areas, and so she decided to make a change. It is a space for mothers of color to connect, find healing, and discuss navigating the realities of motherhood.

To connect with Briara, you can find her on Instagram @_melanin.mommies or @briaralowery. Head to Melanin Mommies to find out more about the nonprofit and upcoming events.

SPONSORS:

Unspoken Stories | A March of Dimes Podcast

Honest stories of pregnancy, parenthood and loss are too often left unshared. We are here to tell the real stories. Join mom, actress and advocate, Tatyana Ali to hear real stories about the joys and humor of parenting to the heartbreak and loneliness of miscarriage and loss in a new podcast from March of Dimes. Each episode features a parent’s honest story about the realities of starting a family. It only takes hearing one story like your own to know you are not alone. To join the conversation, go to UnspokenStories.org and MarchofDimes.org. Follow them on Instagram and Facebook @MarchofDimes.

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the Unspoken Stories series are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily represent those of Birth Stories in Color.

Our stories begin at birth. Who we are, and our relationship with our families begins with, our journey in the womb and into the world. Brandy Wells CSW, LISW has taken that knowledge and is not only using it in her work as a social worker but also in her parenting with her husband, Maurice.

Brandy shared the pregnancies and births of her three daughters. As you listen, you can connect with the intentionality of the growth she has achieved through her parenthood journey. Her first birth, she wasn't prepared, and it manifested not only how she took care of herself during the pregnancy but also in her birth. Knowing that wasn't what she wanted, with each new experience, she added preparation elements, to ensure she could walk away from her experiences empowered.

It was beautiful to hear how using conscious parenting or as Brandy describes it "teaching lessons while parenting," she is breaking generational traumas and cycles. Her children can see the growth of their parents and echo it in their development and relationships.

A key component of Brandy's growth is how she has engaged her elders — speaking to them about their births and childhood. Using the gift of storytelling to dig deeper into her healing while also creating stronger bonds. She left us with a plethora of tools on navigating how to hold space for ourselves and our families.

If you would like to (and we highly encourage it haha) connect with Brandy you can follow her @mymotherhoodmagic or at My Motherhood Magic.

SPONSORS:

Unspoken Stories | A March of Dimes Podcast

Honest stories of pregnancy, parenthood and loss are too often left unshared. We are here to tell the real stories. Join mom, actress and advocate, Tatyana Ali to hear real stories about the joys and humor of parenting to the heartbreak and loneliness of miscarriage and loss in a new podcast from March of Dimes. Each episode features a parent’s honest story about the realities of starting a family. It only takes hearing one story like your own to know you are not alone. To join the conversation, go to UnspokenStories.org and MarchofDimes.org. Follow them on Instagram and Facebook @MarchofDimes.

The views, information, or opinions expressed during the Unspoken Stories series are solely those of the individuals involved and do not necessarily represent those of Birth Stories in Color.