Birth Stories in Color

Chelsea always knew that her first child would be a son. However, she couldn't predict the circumstances of when she would become pregnant. A global pandemic would bring her aspirations of acting to a screeching halt as production stopped. She shifted gears as she needed to prepare for caring for herself and a new baby. Emotional issues developed as her relationship with her partner deteriorated. She felt alone. Depression set in, and conflict with friends and family grew.

She focused on preparing for birth by reading books, exploring hypnobirthing, and watching natural birth videos. Her pregnancy was challenging, and her provider didn't support her plans.

Elevated blood pressure, news that the baby was determined to be large for his gestational age, and gestational diabetes concerns overshadowed her birth plan hopes. Her provider started discussing a surgical birth before she had an opportunity to labor. She disagreed with her OB/GYN's preeclampsia diagnosis and decided to change from hospital birth to a birth center that could support her plans. She felt healthy for the most part during her pregnancy as she made sure she ate well, except for her sugar craving. The midwives at the birth center agreed to accept her for care. She didn't feel connected to them or fully confident about the birthing space, but she pushed forward as it seemed like a better option than the hospital.

Chelsea's membranes ruptured, and she contacted the birth center. She was told to rest and give herself time, and she eventually went in to have her fluid tested for amniotic fluid. After two days of leaking and intense back pain, she contacted the midwives, and they told her to wait again. She reported to the birth center on the third day, and her rupture was confirmed. However, she had not dilated despite feeling like her body had completed a lot of work. She kept herself active and wanted to use water therapy to support her comfort. She would manage the labor, but her cervix did not dilate. She would eventually transfer to the hospital to manage the rest of her labor. The hospital shift was challenging mentally and physically. Chelsea reached ten cms and immediately started to push even though her son was still high in her pelvis. A surgical birth became her last option, and it was quickly discovered that her baby had swallowed meconium and had fluid in his lungs. In addition, she had nearly hemorrhaged. She reflected on the intensity and degree of interventions in the hospital; everything she had wanted for her birth had crumbled. She felt disconnected from the people caring for her and the space she was in.

Carrying all of the trauma home with her new baby would be a rollercoaster. Therapy and group support have helped. She has also connected with the women in her family to help build her connections and heal. Healing comes one day at a time with intention.

Megana knew that she wanted a family, and before meeting her husband, she had even considered taking on the role of parenting without a partner. But soon after moving to a new city, she met her husband; they fell in love and began discussing expanding their family. They both wanted to have two kids before Megana got a bit older and had planned to start trying to conceive after getting married. But their March 2020 wedding was canceled due to the beginnings of the COVID-19 pandemic, leading them to move forward with a small ceremony and begin trying to conceive in May.

As a healthcare worker (pediatrician), Megana was aware of the studies around birthing folks in her field having two times the rate of infertility than others. Many of her friends in residency with her had shared their struggles with infertility. With that in mind, she was emotionally prepared to have some struggles of her own with conceiving but was grateful that she was pregnant within three months of trying. The beginning of her pregnancy was layered with many parts. They were going to be moving cross country; she had lost both her grandparents, dealing with the pandemic and also working through the pandemic and didn't fully have care established where they were moving; Megana describes that time as "surreal."

Once settled in their new home in Pittsburgh, Megana found an OB practice she trusted. As she continued to work, she also decided to move forward with getting the COVID-19 vaccine. Which at that time, few pregnant people were choosing to move forward with it. Reading and listening to the emerging studies on the vaccine, she elected to get vaccinated at 32 and 36 weeks pregnant, hoping to not only protect herself through work but hopefully be able to pass antibodies off to her baby. Amongst her preparation in that way, she was journaling, reading, and listening to positive birth stories and remained active, running up to her 39th week of pregnancy. Her due date came and went, making Megana uneasy as she knew she was losing time from her maternity leave. Her jobs maternity leave policy would give her 12 weeks, and she had already begun using some time waiting on the arrival of her baby. Taking that into consideration, Megana elected to support her progress with an induction.

Megana was induced with two doses of misoprostol, moving her quickly into intense labor. Reviewing all her options and managing the frequency and intensity of her contractions, which had started putting her baby in distress - Megana decided to have an epidural to provide them some rest and allow her body the space it needed to continue to progress. After about an hour and a half of pushing, her daughter was born. Megana did suffer from a 2nd/3rd-degree periclitoral and labial tear, which would impact her in ways she wasn't prepared for.

Within her great support village, Megana's sister would be the guiding light in helping her navigate all the new transitions. The reality of how debilitating her tear was, combined with the level of rest she needed and what maternity leave entailed for caring and bonding with her daughter Megana was falling into a postpartum anxiety/depression cycle. With the support of her sister, they established some concrete strategies to guide her through this time. Megana began pelvic floor therapy and found a community of friends and cousins who had also had babies. Within this group, they had similar work schedules and could relate to their day-to-day experiences and their Indian culture.

Megana's journey with an extremely short maternity leave due to the American Board of Pediatrics policies has led her to be a driving force for changing maternity leave policy. She  wrote an oped that has changed policies in her department and has a postpartum group for other South Asian women to discuss some of the cultural misogyny and expectations they contend with. Check these essential resources out below.

Resources:

New York Times Article | a medical career, at a cost: infertility

Giánni and Ron expanded their family in 2019 and 2020, welcoming two beautiful daughters to fortify their new marriage. They were already parents building their blended family, but these pregnancies connected all of the dots and allowed them both to journey through the highs and lows of creating a new life together. They were both interested in having mature and intentional pregnancy experiences.

Giánni began researching breastfeeding support, childbirth education, and doulas. They chose to work with Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT). This local perinatal support doula organization centers the experiences of Black women and families across the childbirth spectrum in Columbus, OH. Giánni knew the role of a doula but didn't expect to connect with her doula the way she did. It felt personable and genuine to have an additional advocate, listening ear, and a source of knowledge in their corner. She and Ron both loved the inclusion of the whole family and the new community they were able to inherit through working with ROOTT.

The first pregnancy was without complications, and Giánni was able to have the labor and delivery she had hoped for. Upon learning she was pregnant again shortly after her birth, Giánni and Ron paused and carefully considered if and how they would move forward with this pregnancy. She had made plans for her life's next steps and knew that committing to bring forth another life could prompt her to delay some of her dreams. They chose to maintain the pregnancy as their family members had recently endured the loss of an infant due to stillbirth. They felt called and chosen to accept this gift.

Giánni's second pregnancy occurred as the pandemic was shifting the daily lives of everyone. It brought health challenges that would make the pregnancy hard on her physically and mentally - including not knowing if Ron would be present for the birth. He had fallen ill around the same time as her induction and was admitted to the same hospital. She had the support of her ROOTT doula but was thankful that Ron would be discharged, joining her for the birth of their child within a couple of hours of her delivery. She would continue to have to monitor her health to stabilize her blood pressure with the support of the doctor and doula as they continued postpartum care.

Vulnerability was and has been the key to working as a team and building a solid foundation for their family. Ron articulated the need for fathers to have spaces to come without pretense or thought about who they are, their occupations, or social status. He also acknowledged the need for partners to create space for their wives to have time for themselves to recharge and work on their dreams. Giánni and Ron were able to come to each other with their needs by defaulting to the friendship they had before marriage. Giánni exclusively breastfed, and she found herself often feeling "touched out." Ron stepped in to help with researching and supporting Giánni until she was able to build herself up as well. Balancing four children proved to be challenging as they all needed something different from their parents. Breakdowns came, and they have kept up their communication and are persevering.

Resources:

African American Male Wellness Agency | providing prevention programming, health awareness campaigns, and community for African American males

Tommee Tipee Postpartum Stories | Giánni's postpartum story

Tommee Tippee Parent Diaries | Giánni's journey: dealing with pregnancy loss and chronic illness

Sponsors:

Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) | reproductive justice organization

ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. ROOTT’s mission is to comprehensively restore our collective well-being through collaboration, resource allocation, research & re-empowerment, in order to meet the needs of Black parents & families. If you and your family are planning, pregnant, or in your postpartum period, please reach out to ROOTT at www.roottrj.org. Financial assistance is available. You can also connect with ROOTT at 614-398-1766 or email [email protected]

Being the youngest of four siblings and having loved the role of aunt since the age of ten, becoming pregnant with her daughter had been a long time coming for Charlene and her husband.

Charlene read, watched, and listened to anything she could to prepare for her birth. Knowing all the negative messages surrounding the birth experience for Black women, she wanted to make sure she was educated for her birth. As she started learning how hormones and the body worked together and the cadence of physiological birth, the layers of fear she was holding onto started to peel back, solidifying her decision to have an unmedicated birth. Other things that supported her during this time included hiring a doula and guarding herself against any negative stories or news about childbirth to stay in a positive mindset.

Charlene described her birth as being "uneventful," so two days before the birth of her daughter, attending her routine appointment, she was thrown off that her blood pressure was elevated. It remained elevated throughout the visit, prompting her care provider to have her stay in labor and delivery for a while so they could monitor her. Considering the additional symptoms, Charlene was having - headache and seeing "sparkles" combined with a blood pressure that would not drop. The conversation shifted to signs of preeclampsia and her needing to be induced that day.

The initial shock of such a significant shift in her birthing plans caused for pause for her. Utilizing the "BRAIN" tool (Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, Intuition, Nothing) she had learned in her childbirth education class, Charlene was able to walk through the process of next steps feeling fully informed and focused on trusting her intuition. As she moved through her induction, the rest of her birth plan became just as important; she made sure to use hydrotherapy and movement. She was trusting her body, and as she exclaimed: "blocking out the noise" from her care providers about how to listen to her body. So when her daughter made it earthside, she was still happy that she could have her birth her way.

Resources:

Supernatural Childbirth | childbirth book by Jackie Mize

Christian Hypnobirthing App | providing spiritual empowerment for pregnancy and birth

“When you decide to conceive, you’re going to have a hard time.” This was the assessment given to Keneisha during her first appointment with a new gynecologist. There were no tests completed to make that determination, only a conversation that the provider thought it was abnormal that she had never had a pregnancy scare or abortion. Striking Keneisha as odd and concerning for her health, she never returned and avoided gynecologists after that encounter. Later that year, illness struck, and she took a pregnancy test, but it was negative. Two days later, she decided to go to her primary provider and was tested again, with the test being positive. Keniesha and her husband began planning their prenatal care, and to their surprise, at the ultrasound, they discovered that she was 14 weeks along and the baby was well developed.

As they explored their family health history, Keneisha shared that her father had passed away at 32 years old due to heart failure, which concerned her doctor. He ran additional genetic tests that indicated some concerns. Keneisha was a carrier of a rare condition and moved forward with an amniocentesis, and thankfully their baby was not a carrier.

The surprises would not end there; at 35 weeks, Keneisha reported to the hospital and discovered she was 4 centimeters dilated. She didn’t feel like her body was ready to deliver a baby, but her medical providers were convinced otherwise. She wanted to go home, but she wasn’t feeling the contractions, which concerned her doctor because she may not make it back to the hospital in time. She dilated to 5 centimeters, but labor slowed down, and she could go home on bed rest. Keneisha began a weekly ultrasound check as the baby measured small.  By 39 weeks, Keneisha was 6 centimeters dilated and consented to a membrane sweep. A few days later, she would feel a mild contraction, and excitement started to build that this may be labor day. Keneisha went into her labor feeling fearless and managing her contractions at home. She and her husband would make their way to the hospital following her lead. The support of her husband, mother, and doula and allowed her body to guide the experience. They welcomed their son safely and under the attentive care of her provider. She had shocked herself and felt a wave of relief that the pregnancy journey had come to an end. She had gone into this pregnancy with a shorter time frame to adjust and plan but managed to educate herself enough to birth without fear. 

Sponsors:

Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) | reproductive justice organization

ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. ROOTT’s mission is to comprehensively restore our collective well-being through collaboration, resource allocation, research & re-empowerment, in order to meet the needs of Black parents & families. If you and your family are planning, pregnant, or in your postpartum period, please reach out to ROOTT at www.roottrj.org. Financial assistance is available. You can also connect with ROOTT at 614-398-1766 or email [email protected]

Starting her first day of nursing school, Derikka Vaughans was surprised to find out that she had also started her journey through motherhood. She would take medical leave from school during her first trimester as navigating being sick and family stress would leave her a bit overwhelmed. Derikka expresses that, in full transparency, "I didn't get a chance to fully embrace pregnancy in the first trimester." and that with limited resources for women of color in her community, "I didn't really know what to expect from the experience." The most prep she had done was planning her baby shower.

So when Derikka started having mild contractions, she just attributed them to having gas. Her mom suggested to her that they could be contractions, and they should begin timing then. Throughout her labor, Derikka had to make shifts to her birth plan but reflected that an integral part of her story was when she was trying to decide about pain management. She had hoped to have an unmedicated birth, and it would be her dad who would allow her to find her voice and do what felt best for her at the moment. Speaking with him over the phone, Derikka explains that he spoke life into her, affirming her and her decisions. For her, she feels that if she had had more support like her dad's on her birth team, many things would have gone differently and that it wasn't until after the birth of her son that she felt educated about birth. She is now using her experience and knowledge to support other families in her community of Montgomery, Alabama, as a birth and postpartum doula.

Resources:

Crowned Mommy | birth and postpartum doula services with Derikka Vaughans

Carrita Flie graciously opened up to us about both her miscarriages and birth. We have had an opportunity to hold space for families that have experienced loss and traumatic birth experiences. As BSiC storyteller Dani Kilgore stated, "Joy and pain can sleep in the same bed." This was the first time Carrita shared the details of both her traumatic losses and one amazing blessing.

Due to her history, her third pregnancy was heavily monitored. She worked with maternal-fetal medicine in addition to a regular OB as she was considered high-risk. They discovered that her cervix had thinned at 21 weeks and had a cerclage placed to help keep her from delivering her baby early. It was difficult to hear that if her water broke during the procedure, there would be no life-saving efforts for the baby due to "point of viability" gestational age, which can vary from 20-24 weeks in different areas. Her planning was minimal as she could only focus on having a living, breathing child at birth. The plan was survival.

Carrita reached 26 weeks and attended her regular prenatal appointment, and it was without incident. When she arrived home, she started to notice regular contractions and eventually lost her mucus plug. She called her husband for support and was taken to the hospital. The nurse at the hospital immediately dismissed her concerns and denied that she was in labor. The doctor on call completed a cervical exam and confirmed what Carrita already knew. Carrita had reported to the ER three times before that day and was angered at how she could have been better served by the staff and possibly prevented the premature birth. She had a brief encounter with her baby after his emergency surgical birth by way of a resounding cry. He was whisked away to the NICU for care, and Carrita remained in the operating room with her health issues. It was traumatic as she felt everything happening to her body as her epidural had started to weaken. A Black nurse was present with her in the operating room that she credits as being an angel to her and kept her safe from potential harm as her doctor was trying to manage her care.

Postpartum was stressful as she was pumping for her newborn and studying for her finals in her postgraduate program. The NICU stay began snowballing as her baby battled respiratory issues and infections that led to life support measures. The road to recovery and healing would be long for both Carrita and her husband while they were both on their trajectories. The space to pause was delayed for over a year as their family managed the health concerns. Today, Carrita can see not only where she was but who she is now mentally and physically. Their son Isaac, named after the promised son to Abraham and is growing, healthy, and strong after enduring multiple surgeries and therapies.

Carrita has founded the Premium Promise Project to serve more families walking through the NICU experience that spans from hand holding to actual policy advocacy. She is also the author of "You're Still Here," which seeks to help those navigating dark seasons with biblical scriptures. She is standing in the gap for other NICU families and provide meaningful support and education to help them manage the challenges before them.

Resources:

The Premium Promise Project | serving NICU families and families of children with special needs

You're Still Here | a piece of my heart partnered with scripture reflections

Alicia Tetteh joins us for a second time after sharing her twin birth with us in Episode 57: The Body Holds the Score. Alicia and her husband, Solomon, discovered they were expecting their third child during the pandemic shutdown of 2020. Luna was a surprise for them but came with a new and experienced version of Alicia. 

Alicia started with a previous hospital for care but added midwifery support as she considered birthing at home. After garnering support from Solomon, she began planning an intentional homebirth with a Black midwife for the pregnancy. Despite finding a Black midwife, she had difficulty finding Black birthers who had experienced a homebirth to offer additional support. They worked towards preparation for the birth by reading and leaning into the midwife to answer her questions. 

The pandemic kept Solomon from attending appointments when they were still in hospital care. But they found other ways to keep him connected. Alicia planned a Mother’s Blessing that included her four friends that were also expecting. The blessing included belly painting, creating scented bracelets, flower crowns, and personal letters written from each partner to the birthing person. 

Alicia admits that there were some unrealistic expectations about laboring at home that didn’t match the visuals in her mind or on social media. Labor started after a family walk through a petting zoo. When they arrived home, Alicia found herself unable to relax and move through the pain of the contractions. Her choices regarding food, music, and creating her environment ranked high on what she was thankful for. She contributes Solomon and Jesus for her ability to deliver their baby girl at home without medication. Her previous twin birth was a surgical delivery, and she had been numbed through the physical feelings of delivery. 

Preparation for birth was high on the list; however, postpartum planning took a backseat. Alicia found herself unprepared, despite the memories of her twin birth recovery. The physicality of birth was heavy on Alicia’s body. There was support from family, friends, and their doula in the first couple of weeks. After the first month, sleep routines and managing twin toddlers took over their world. Solomon and Alicia have managed their “new normal” with teamwork and genuine co-parenting. Alicia wants moms to maintain their sense of self and have an identity outside of motherhood that helps them experience the joys of life.

Dr. Petagaye English graciously joined us to share her experiences with pregnancy and birth. She privately miscarried three times before she carried her baby to term. Petagaye and her husband found out they were expecting again. After the losses, she felt like she was on pins and needles as she attended each prenatal appointment.

The next few months through her pregnancy would challenge her health and wellness and desire to be a "model patient." Because Petagaye is a physician, her provider did not follow AGOC recommendations which would have helped release her from being her own caregiver. There is a difference between being your own advocate and being charged with monitoring your own vitals and determining when you need additional care. Petagaye deserved to have a provider who took medical history into account every step of the way. She changed providers but still found herself back under that physician's care in postpartum. A birthing person deserves care that allows them to take off the hats they wear every time they enter a space to be cared for. Her provider honed in on issues that didn't match Petagaye's concerns and missed vital information that ultimately led her to change providers at 32 weeks gestation. Her new provider was focused and attentive to her medical care and monitored her closely. She was eventually scheduled for an induction.

The labor process proved stressful as her pregnancy had been shrouded with medical issues beyond her control, leaving her feeling robbed of some of the joys of pregnancy. Leading up to her delivery, she experienced anemia, hypertension concerns, and intrauterine growth restriction. She would deliver her baby after 40 hours of labor. But because her baby was smaller than average, she stayed in the hospital longer for bilirubin treatment and blood sugar monitoring. Unfortunately, she would return to the hospital for postpartum preeclampsia under the doctor's care she had fired at 32 weeks.

Dr. English credits her pregnancy challenges with shifting her practice in the care of her patients. She never wants anyone to feel the way she did during her pregnancy. She spent so much energy trying to be a "model patient" that her care from other medical professionals was neglectful and dismissive. Her advice is not to be afraid to seek care from somewhere else if the care you are receiving does not match your research and preferences.

When Teairra was pregnant with her second son, she knew right away. Once confirmed, she began preparing for a birth in which she felt that she was in control. She decided a homebirth was best and hired a midwife who was supportive of all of her decisions to navigate her pregnancy in a way that felt intuitive, safe, and liberating for her.

Late in her pregnancy, Teairra traveled with her grandmother to support her as her grandmother's son was passing. Upon returning from the trip, her midwife noticed a large amount of swelling and encouraged her that she probably shouldn't travel anymore and start bed rest. But a week after her grandmother's son passed, having spent that time on bed rest and her swelling better, Teairra decided to join her at the funeral in Missouri. On March 12, 27 weeks pregnant, while getting ready to head to the airport to return to LA, Teairra felt her water break a little. She called her sister, instructing her to let her midwife know she was heading back to and prepare to meet her at her home for the birth. Teairra's sister encouraged her to go to the hospital as she probably wouldn't make it home in time. Teairra agreed and headed with her mother to the closest hospital to their home.

Teairra's intuition instructed her to express to her mom not to leave her alone. She was unsure how the hospital would treat her, and she knew she would need constant support. Her intuition would be something she came back to often as there were many points during her birth in which Teairra would have to press for the staff to honor or listen to her birth wishes, especially after her son was born.

She had decided to have a Lotus birth, which the hospital was not well educated about or had experience with. The nurses began using intimidation tactics to force Teairra to adhere to hospital protocols that did not serve her, her healthy son, or her birth experience. Standing firm in her choices, this medical harassment continued for two days. Speaking with her midwife in LA, she instructed her that she needed to leave the hospital or risk the hospital trying to take her baby. Her midwife walked her through what to say to hospital staff, what to get in writing so that she could sign out "Against Medical Advisement." Under immense stress and great haste, Teairra left the hospital with her mother, not expecting this fight to continue once she was home.

Being sent by the hospital staff, police began harassing Teairra's neighbors and family members of her whereabouts and surrounding her home for about a week, with DFS not letting up for an additional 30 days. On May 23rd, she was finally able to return home to LA with her son and fours years after still healing, but able to process and share while helping others on their journeys.

Resources:

Kimberly Durdin | IBCLC & Student Midwife

Kindred Space LA | a hub for midwifery care, doula support, lactation consulting, education, support groups, enrichment, meditation and movement.

Tribe Midwifery | midwifery care, doula support, lactation consulting, and childbirth education