Birth Stories in Color

We first met Alyestal Thomas when she shared her first birth story with us (Ep. 19 |The Power Within) and were delighted when she reached out to share her second.

This pregnancy would bring both mental and physical challenges for Alyestal to navigate. Her anemia had brought on intense exhaustion that would require continuous monitoring throughout her pregnancy. And while at times she would feel she had strong management of that, her mental health suffered quite a bit. Her prenatal anxiety was rising, with panic attacks about 4 to 5 times a week. She knew to be in a space to birth her baby the way she wanted to; she had to confront this challenge and be honest about it. So when she connected with her midwives, she was open with them about how she was feeling about her pregnancy. They were able to connect her with a therapist to unpack her feelings and fear. Therapy affirmed the challenges of being pregnant during a pandemic paired with not always having her husband present when she needed his support and advocacy. And that she was allowed the space to grieve missing and losing expectations that she had for this pregnancy.

Through that heart work, she gained clarity about staying centered in her strengths and weaknesses when birthing her children. Alyestal knew that her original birth plan of laboring at home as long as possible and arriving at the hospital when ready would not be the best choice under the COVID restrictions. Having a home birth would benefit her best, and she began preparing her home and support team for that shift.

With her first birth, Alyestal experienced a TV-worthy breaking of her waters. A concern she had this time around is that this wouldn't be the case, and she wouldn't know when she was in labor. However, a week before her daughter was due; she had another TV-worthy breaking of her waters. COntractions were a bit inconsistent, but she reached out to her midwives to keep them informed. As labor progressed, she and her midwives decided their arrival would be best. When they arrived at 1:30 am, they did a cervical check, and Alyestal was 2cm dilated. After some discussion about the next steps, she consented to a stretch and sweep. Her midwives left and instructed her to call when she felt they were needed again. That call came at 2:30 am with the midwives arriving at 3 am - and Alyestal soon after meeting her daughter 4 mins to 5 am. When describing her birth, Alyestal expresses that "birth was everything that didn't know she wanted it to be and birth was everything she wanted it to be." Feelings that she wishes for every birthing individual to feel - a sense of comfort and ease.

Ad:

The Birth Story Love Letter | a unique offering that captures your personal experience.

This offering is a keepsake or memento of sorts. A treasured capture of your sacred life memory. A love letter to yourself, your children born or unborn, your family and friends, community and ancestors.

This offering includes; recording space to share your story, edited audio of your birth story and transcription of your birth story in both a digital and custom created hard copy. This is our oral history gift. A story that should be honored by being heard, shared, and remembered. 

Stories shared in this manner are for the storyteller’s personal use, they will not be shared via the BSiC podcast.

In reflecting on her pregnancy and birth, Lauren Jones shares that it involved longing and fear. Being someone who enjoyed knowing all the things and being as prepared as possible, the uncertainty of pregnancy was a constant juggling act. She was used to doing things a certain way, and this time required a level of letting go and immense learning she could never have prepared for. She began to understand the environmental impact around her health, working with her gestational diabetes diagnosis and tapping into the new needs of her body. All lessons that beyond the birth of her son she is still carrying with her.

Lauren was 42 weeks and two days when labor began. Ending a day of running errands, she started feeling her body "stretching," — throwing her into a routine of letting her body move from bed to the tub, to couch over and over, following the lead of her body. Using Buddhist chants to keep her breath in rhythm to the movement until she and her husband decided it was best to head into the hospital.

Lauren knew she wanted to get some rest and asked for pain medication to support her sleep efforts upon arrival. Not expecting to sleep from 6 am - 6 pm and to be awoken by her care providers that it was likely time for her to begin pushing - which was confirmed from a cervical check that she was 10cm dilated. But Lauren describes that in those moments, she felt she had lost her sense of control. During labor at home, she thought she could be present for her experience, and waking up in this state of shock; she expressed feeling "really scared" and felt like she had to submit and change her birth plans. She consented to an epidural and began pushing. After some time had gone with no change in her son's descent and with him showing signs of stress, her care providers began discussing options to help support him earthside. Taking time to think it over, Lauren and her husband decided to move forward with vacuum assistance - but before her care providers could even get it on, Lauren pushed her son out, he was placed on her chest. At that moment, she describes feeling such a sense of peace.

The sense of fear would remain, though, as she spent the first couple of days alone with her son due to her husband getting sick. Postpartum wasn't something she prepared for in her pregnancy; she felt lost and was very relieved when the village support of her mother-in-law and her sister arrived. They were able to cover her with their knowledge and love, allowing her to lean into the birth of herself as a mother.

Resources:

The Birth Box | monthly shipment of items that helps new parents

The First Forty Days | the essential art of nourishing the new mother

Motherly | a lifestyle brand redefining motherhood

Moss the Doula | trans & queer centered doula services

Lucia the Doula | queer full spectrum doula centering LGBTQAI2S+

Sponsors:

Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) | reproductive justice organization

ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. ROOTT’s mission is to comprehensively restore our collective well-being through collaboration, resource allocation, research & re-empowerment, in order to meet the needs of Black parents & families. If you and your family are planning, pregnant, or in your postpartum period, please reach out to ROOTT at www.roottrj.org. Financial assistance is available. You can also connect with ROOTT at 614-398-1766 or email [email protected]

Before the pregnancy of her son, Annette Perel had been a doula for about four years. Considering her experience from supporting other families, she was set on the plans for her birth and what she needed to do to prepare. Key aspects of that preparation included hiring a doula and midwife for her home birth, learning to become assertive in her communication to advocate for herself, and soaking in the joy of her pregnancy.

Not able to turn her doula hat off, Annette was sure that her son would be coming past his estimated due date. Thanksgiving evening, she was surprised as she began noticing some early signs of labor but pushed them off as she could move through contractions with ease. That night she was even able to sleep through them. Over the next two days, she would fall into a rhythm of working through manageable contractions throughout the day that would subside in the evening and morning. Annette and her son's father took that time to complete the last preparation before his arrival.

Moving into day three, labor would begin to shift and become more intense, Annette needing to lean into the support of her son's father and doula. Staying present in her birth was very important for her - an anchor that allowed her to connect with her baby and body, serving as a technique for managing labor and allowing her to trust herself. This would be vital as Annette delivered her baby into her own hands with the support of her doula and midwife, who was providing guidance via phone (as she was still making her way to Annette). A moment she describes as feeling "guided, protected, safe and exactly how that labor was supposed to happen."

Resources:

Clearbirth | prenatal and labor support from Annette Perel

Clearbirth Podcast | focused on demystifying all things pregnancy, birth and beyond

Our Bodies Ourselves | comprehensive guide to all aspects of women's health and sexuality, including menopause, birth control, childbirth, and sexual health

Tiffany shared her birth story and reflections on her journey through a rough pregnancy, being sent home from the hospital, resulting in unassisted home birth, and how her healing from it all continues 11 years later.

Early in the pregnancy, Tiffany decided to continue the pregnancy without her child's father for her own mental and physical health. Due to inadequate finances, she did not start prenatal care until 5-6 months into her pregnancy. Accessibility was a huge obstacle to her care. She used public transportation for most of her prenatal appointments and, due to her insurance, had to deliver at a hospital that was far from her home. It would later lead to a time balancing act during labor. Tiffany is a twin, and her sister had given birth six months prior and served as a model for Tiffany. Despite the challenges, her excitement was growing as she would be joining the ranks of motherhood with the other women in her family.

Labor thrives best in an environment where the birthing person feels safe, secure, and supported. The environment should be comfortable and consistent with minimal interruptions. These factors were challenging to grasp for Tiffany as she didn't know where she would be or who would help her deliver her child. Tiffany's managed her labor at home as she leaned into family support. When contractions reached 5-10 minutes apart, she called the hospital, and she was encouraged to report there. Upon her arrival, she discovered she was dilated 2cm. She chose to stay at the hospital and walk until she felt a shift. She was rechecked with some progress and informed the provider that she wanted to stay due to how intense her labor felt and how far her home was. The medical providers were dismissive and wanted to send her home. Eventually, her sister took her home, and she continued to manage her labor at home on her own. Tiffany had the urge to push as she entered her bathroom, and she pushed her son out over her toilet - 3 hours of leaving the hospital. Tiffany managed to wake her mother and call 911, and they were instructed to clear the baby's airway and tie off the umbilical cord. Tiffany and her son were picked up by the ambulance and went to a local emergency room. Aftercare had to be taken over by the first hospital. The hospital stated they were full and led her to yet another hospital. Tiffany suspects that the initial hospital was full, and that's why they sent her home. She only wished they had informed her of that then, as she had not planned to give birth at home, essentially by herself.

Planned home birth with medical support or an unassisted birth planned is not the same as unexpectedly delivering your first child at home. Tiffany and her son were neglected and left vulnerable to adverse birth outcomes. Tiffany is still working on healing through the traumatic birth of her child. The intrusive thoughts of her value in this world haunt her. Healing is not a linear process, and we are thankful for her share. We hope that her story reaches the ears of those working in birth spaces, and they are convicted to not only think about their practices but also do the work and realign with what birth work should be.

Resources:

Irth App | "Yelp-like" review & rating app for hospitals & physicians made by and for Black women & birthing people of color

Dr. Lauren Collins, a chiropractor, and birth worker tapped into the wisdom and experiences of the families she's supported over the years and empowered her during her homebirth. A birth that was peaceful, intense, and also faster than expected. Conception came easy for her and her partner, and they enjoyed a healthy pregnancy. Although she paused birth work during pregnancy, she found that the chiropractic practice was taxing on her body and felt called to rest daily.

Preparation for parenthood centered on setting healthy boundaries and family dynamics and expectations were essential aspects of parenting that Lauren sought support within therapy. She hired a doula and leaned into the Bradley method to garner more coping skills for the labor ahead, especially because they were planning for a home birth.

The day her labor started, she started to busy herself but again felt led to rest. She eventually became restless and began to move through her contractions. Lauren's doula and husband helped her with position changes and comfort measures. She utilized her home to her advantage to maintain a relaxed state of mind. Allowing is a state of mind that releases our minds from overworking so the body can work during labor according to its design. Her son would come much faster than expected for a first-time birthing parent. The birth team was not there yet as she was "pushy." Realizing her midwife would not make it in time to catch, Lauren tapped into her connection with her son. She said, "Ok, we just have to figure this out now." Her doula Facetimed the midwife to provide virtual support as Lauren successfully delivered her son into her arms in the shower. Lauren credits her preparation with her birthing team and some of the books she read during pregnancy for how she managed her labor despite not marking the typical milestones that she has seen in labors. Allowing space for solitude was vital in keeping her labor moving forward organically.

The difficulty in healing was more challenging for Lauren than the birth itself, partly due to her expectations. Learning to rely on other people as she healed proved to be an important opportunity to learn to give herself permission to seek support. Birth teams are critical to the success and overall positive experience of labor. Access to out-of-hospital birth has some obstacles, but whatever is in your power to control, build your team to meet those needs.

Resources:

Birthing From Within | an extra-ordinary guide to childbirth preparation

Multifaceted Mama Podcast | candid conversations for & with multifaceted mamas about transitioning into motherhood & its impact on personal growth, health, career, and finding your rhythm.

Abound Chiropractic (Dr. Lauren Collins Practice) | supportive chiropractic designed for aspiring, expecting, and postpartum mamas and babies

Royal La Mére | birth and wellness support services

Ingrid Carney is the founder of Ingrid & Isabel, the largest maternity brand created by moms for moms. We had the opportunity to hear her own birth stories and how they changed her and have shaped the brand.

For Ingrid, pregnancy was another item on the list, coming together to round out how she had planned her life. But as she moved through her pregnancy, shifts would require her to release control. And in doing so, Ingrid would settle with an understanding that during this time, "It's the body that's in charge - your body is your body pregnant, and you are on that journey." No matter what you do or don't do.

Within her flexibility and going with the flow mindset, as she came closer to the birth of her daughter, she still felt like things would be textbook. So at eight and a half months, when she found out her daughter was breech, it wasn't something she felt prepared to handle. She gathered the information from the doctors and decided to move forward with trying to flip her daughter. Soon after the procedure, her water broke, and she would navigate three days of labor before her daughter was born. On the third day, reaching a point of feeling like she was tapped out, Ingrid and her husband decided to move forward with a surgical birth.

During the early parts of her postpartum, she had an extensive support system, but she found that she and her support system focused a lot on her daughter and not much on Ingrid's healing. At some point finding herself in what she described as a "fog" - but now knowing she was dealing with postpartum depression. Navigating it on her own with her husband, she slowly found her rhythm, and tides would change drastically after joining a mom's group. This group provided her community with others who were also working through their parenthood journey at the same time.

Joining this group would also be the beginning for Ingrid & Isabel. In a conversation in her mom's group, there was a discussion around products they all were using and whether or not they worked. Ingrid shared that she had created something - the Bellaband®. Seeing it and how it worked, the group encouraged her to move forward and make more. Taking advantage of nap time, Ingrid would use that time to explore fabrics and designs and, in November 2003, would have her first sale. The Bellaband® would become a product that brought her family together and has grown into a national company offering a full range of maternity essentials.

Resources:

Ingrid & Isabel | maternity essentials brand

Charlotte Shook welcomed her son in January of 2021 after experiencing pregnancy throughout 2020 and the many challenges and triumphs of that unpredictable time. She credits yoni steaming for helping her body prepare for pregnancy after having early difficulties with fertility. Charlotte had an easy pregnancy and was able to work from home and maintain an active lifestyle. She was focusing her labor preparation through hypnobirthing to have an unmedicated birth.

By 40 weeks gestation, she had not started labor, and her provider was supportive in honoring waiting for any interventions until 41 weeks and not beyond 42 weeks. Charlotte found herself feeling anxious about the possibility of induction and the cascade of interventions. Fortunately, Charlotte’s body had spontaneously started labor, and her doula and doctor helped comfort her and ease her into the labor. Charlotte knew her membranes had ruptured but did not believe she was experiencing surges (contractions). She went to see her doctor after having ruptured membranes for 24 hours at her doctor’s request. Surprisingly, there was no physical evidence of progress in the labor, and the cascade of interventions began - cervical ripening, Pitocin, two epidurals, all over three days. Finally, her body relaxed and began to respond to the interventions. She called in her doula as they had managed virtual support due to Covid protocols at the hospital. After an hour of pushing, Charlotte was able to grab her baby and pull him out as he peacefully entered the world.

Postpartum sleep deprivation marked the experience once they went home. Charlotte made sure to step out for fresh air for walks with her husband. Family and friends were supportive by preparing and paying for meals and some limited in-person support. After a 12-week family leave, her husband returned to work, and things shifted for Charlotte and her son. He started having latch issues and losing weight. They tried a chiropractor, allergen tests (for dairy), and two lactation consultants. The second lactation consultant could meet “in person” and was the most helpful in addressing the issues.

Charlotte encourages birth preparation, and despite the shifts in her labor plans, she still used many techniques to center herself. She learned about all of the possibilities beforehand and offered herself grace to mourn the loss of the experience that she wanted.

Resources:

HypnoBirthing | classes for parents who strive for gentle, calm, and natural childbirth

Bianca Pryor felt led to start sharing her personal birth experience and how it interweaves with the birth story and untimely passing of her best friend, Dr. Shalon Irving. Dr. Irving's passing made headlines in 2017 after she suffered from postpartum preeclampsia and did not receive proper medical attention when she addressed her concerns. Her story stood out as Dr. Irving was a lieutenant commander in the Commissioned Corps of the U.S. Public Health Service. She had been working to expose poor health outcomes as a result of limited health options.

Bianca and Dr. Shalon were best friends. They discovered they were expecting around the same time and committed to "doing pregnancy" together. It was an exciting time in their lives after they both had experienced sibling losses. They were able to see and feel the positive energy around them. Bianca reflected on the newness of how much information we now have about the experiences of Black women in birthing spaces. Today, it has been reported so much more, but they were not prepared for what lay ahead for them.

Dr. Shalon was due before Bianca, but it would be Bianca who welcomed her baby first due to showing signs of premature labor for a week and spotting after a week of labor symptoms that her providers dismissed. Dr. Shalon encouraged her to go to the hospital, and thankfully so as they discovered that her son's feet were "hanging out." Twenty-four weeks into her pregnancy, Bianca would deliver her son, and Shalon would not be present for her as she was preparing for her birth. Bianca and her son's recovery and healing process required all of her attention, but she managed to check in with Dr. Shalon as she was preparing for her birth.

Dr. Shalon would give birth via scheduled surgical birth to Soleil in January 2017 with no complications during the delivery. The best friends bonded in the newness of motherhood and leaned into each other for support. Three weeks postpartum for Dr. Shalon, they texted briefly while Bianca was still in the NICU. Later that day, she received another text stating that her friend was in the hospital because she had stopped breathing. Dr. Shalon had shared that her legs were still swollen, and she had low energy. She had also been receiving wound care at home as she was having challenges with her incision healing properly. She was a fierce advocate for her health but was pushed off by her medical providers. Dr. Shalon Irving passed away shortly after - her friends and family vigilant on her behalf.

The Believe Her App and Dr. Shalon's Maternal Action Project are projects birthed by Bianca and Dr. Shalon's mother, Wanda Irving, as a form of activism and memorializes Dr. Shalon's life and her legacy. Believe Her is an anonymous, maternal, peer-to-peer app created to fight extraordinarily high black maternal mortality rates and save lives. Dr. Shalon's Maternal Action Project works to remove barriers, biases, and disparate practices that impede access to equitable, quality care for Black women and women of color. Their work is based on the life philosophy of Dr. Shalon:

"I see inequity wherever it exists. I am not afraid to call it by name and work hard to eliminate it. I vow to create a better earth."

Resources:

Believe Her App | anonymous peer support app to increase awareness of the Black maternal health crisis while improvising health outcomes

Dr. Shalon’s Maternal Action Project | works to remove barriers, biases, and disparate practices that impede access to equitable, quality care for Black women and women of color

4Kira4Moms | advocacy, education, and peer support to the victims family and friends, promoting the idea that maternal mortality should be viewed, and discussed as a human rights issue

Tatia Oden French Memorial Foundation | foundation website with resources, videos, articles and more information on their work

Irth App | "Yelp-like" review & rating app for hospitals & physicians made by and for Black women & birthing people of color

Mahmee | HIPAA-secure care management platform that connects, payers, providers, and patients to coordinate comprehensive prenatal and postpartum healthcare from anywhere

Black Maternal Health Momnibus Act of 2021 | builds on existing legislation to comprehensively address every dimension of the maternal health crisis in America

Sponsors:

Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) | reproductive justice organization

ROOTT is a collective of concerned Black families, community members, advocates & interdisciplinary professionals dedicated to decreasing Black maternal & infant mortality in Ohio. ROOTT’s mission is to comprehensively restore our collective well-being through collaboration, resource allocation, research & re-empowerment, in order to meet the needs of Black parents & families. If you and your family are planning, pregnant, or in your postpartum period, please reach out to ROOTT at www.roottrj.org. Financial assistance is available. You can also connect with ROOTT at 614-398-1766 or email [email protected]

For Dr. Amber Thorton, her second pregnancy followed suit of her first. She found ease in the pregnancy and was able to stay very active until about 36 weeks. The parts of this second journey that would require more from here would be finding the harmony of providing the attention she needed to her toddler son and managing the shifts both physically and emotionally from pregnancy, releasing the fear of a VBAC not being possible for her. In those times of doubt, she leaned into the support of her doula and the virtual community. A community she had found such solace in, especially during the early parts of the COVID-19 pandemic.

At 39 weeks, around 9 pm, after watching a show with her husband, Dr. Amber got up and immediately felt her waters rupture. Her husband began organizing and preparing their things to allow birth to flow. During that time, she noticed that her contractions were intense and very consistent. Arriving at the hospital with her doula and husband for support, Dr. Amber was surprised to find that she was already 6cm. Settling in, she continued to move through labor and her birth plan. Labor continued to progress, but after 2 hours of pushing and her daughter not descending, Dr. Amber, with the support of her birth team, decided to move forward with a surgical birth.

The beginnings of postpartum would require an extended hospital stay as Dr. Amber did develop postpartum preeclampsia, a diagnosis she was encouraged to explore after a recommendation from her virtual community. It would also yield the transition of healing from her surgical birth, supporting her toddler and newborn, and reconciliation with herself around her birth. The transparency of "not liking having” a second surgical birth and “working through the what if's". Through those feelings, acknowledging that they are valid and not the sole determinant of her motherhood.

Resources:

Balanced Working Mama | support to help working mothers balance work, motherhood, and wellness

Katya Suh and her husband, Ndamunkong Suh, discovered they were expecting shortly after their nuptials amid the pandemic in 2020. They were excited to expand their family and began preparing for what lay ahead. She shared the whirlwind of a year that included a pandemic, a wedding, a twin pregnancy, and a Super Bowl victory. 

The early weeks of her pregnancy felt uneasy as she had early spotting that would significantly reduce physical activity. This proved challenging for Katya, a former collegiate basketball player, as she was accustomed to living an active lifestyle. The spotting was anxiety-producing, and she grew concerned about her ability to carry her pregnancy to term, especially since they were expecting twins. Katya described her prenatal care as excellent as she felt respected and heard during her prenatal visits. The spotting eventually subsided, but she needed to continue maintaining low physical activity. She felt fully supported by her husband during the whole pregnancy but especially in the first trimester. He assured her that "they" were good no matter what the outcome was. Katya viewed the third trimester as "crazy" as her husband and his team won the Super Bowl, moved into their new home, and began to prepare that space for the babies. 

Katya and Ndamunkong hired a doula team to help them prepare for labor and newborn care. The planning phase helped them bond and experience the joy of growing a family together. They watched online videos and read about birth as childbirth education classes were not held in person due to Covid. In that preparation, a challenge they needed to think through was with one of the twins being breech. They worked through different scenarios, making a plan for each possibility regarding how and where the twins would be born. Katya had a medical team ready in Tampa, where her husband plays football, and a medical team in Portland, where they maintain their home base.  

At 38 weeks, Katya consented to a scheduled induction. She was able to have both her husband and her mother present for the births, despite having been unsure if her mom would be allowed to attend due to the hospital's restrictions during the pandemic. Labor was intense, and she chose an epidural for additional comfort. Part of their birth plan was for Ndamunkong to stay with the babies if there were any issues. The first baby, Kingston, was healthy, and there were no complications for him. However, their second baby, Khari, had fluid in his lungs and needed additional medical support with a CPAP. Katya's husband went with Khari to be present during his treatment. After her deliveries, Katya experienced a postpartum hemorrhage - which resulted in her needing to receive two blood transfusions, and she has had a healthy recovery.

Katya has intentionally expressed her needs and emotions with her family and friends as she is still in the fourth trimester. She has learned to lean in for support and credits her village for how they are managing newborn twins — embracing her evolution in becoming a mother, both mentally and physically.  

Resources:

The Suh Family Foundation | works with communities to equip people with the resources they need to sustain long-term success

Katya Suh Youtube | connect with Katya on her Youtube channel