Change and love define alot about who we are. My process of remembering gives me strength and feeling into the memories is a part of my unique grieving process. In Western Culture we have unique milestones that are akin to modern rites of passage like getting your driver's license or starting school.... Paying attention to life transitions such as in birth or death and how we deal with various rights of passages in today's culture is imperative to long term wellness. With a lack in being able to be open about topics that affect every single one us (grief, menstruation, childbirth, illness, death) comes a pattern of avoidance to topics that are uncomfortable. I explore about how the feeling through life, including the tenderest moments in time brings forth a spectrum of choice and with that, defining moments of strength and courage. As well as how facing the hardships or transitions that come with grief, with care and at a slower pace can be an essential part of integration and healing.

Breaking through the patterns that hold us back from staying connected to ourselves and eachother~what does that look like? Slowing down and connecting with loved ones, tuning in to our inner wilderness as well as the natural outter world. I reflect on how the town that he worked at for 35 years doesn't have a newspaper and how I can't publish his obituary there because everything is now "online". Also, how staying connected with eachother and our resilience in this world of social media and cellphones means questioning what's important. My dad who held fast to his independence of the 3rd and 4th industrial revolution hustle and his value system helps to remind me of what to prioritize.

I started breathing deeply and holding back tears in a store that sold my Dad's favorite chocolate today. It's Day 19, not easier but trying to stay positive is a part of living my life without my dad. I find that it's like doing emotional pushups and remembering the sweet moments helps.

I'm starting to make connections with people who I've never met before. My Dad used to go to the Native Friendship Center across the street from where he lived in rural Northern Ontario. I remember rolling my eyes when he used to laugh and say "I'm an Indian too"... when he described how he would go there to meet with friends. So today I called one of my Dad's friends who worked there and we chatted and he shared what dying means in his culture. My Dad was a funny and quirky but courageous guy. The resources at this Center also helped him during big decisions and when he needed extra community support.

Going into the 3rd week after my father died. I describe the last few days, the growth, the love between my siblings and Mom and my journey back home. Everything has changed but the familiarity of bring broken open and healing is defining who we are becoming. This is a summary of days 15,16 & 17 out of 40 post death in my grieving times.

Grief is a sacred time to connect with your inner and outer worlds in ways that you've never done before. It may feel like you're losing your mind, but you are feeling the seismic change on your deepest old growth rings. Grief is a weather pattern that floods your soul. It's rare but everyone experiences it. I dive deeper into what it feels like and the simple tasks that become sacred and how it calls us into love and to feel through life in ways you've never felt before.

In this episode 13/40 of exploring the season of losing my Dad, I offer a couple of his unique approaches to dealing with challenging times which helped him through his initial immigration from India at the age of 18. In the last part of this episode I share a few ideas on how to better support someone who is experiencing the hardship of grief with the goal of how to best navigate our western culture which predominantly denies us from thinking or talking about the normality of death and dying.

(*Trigger Warning: I touch on a war survivor story, and bombing violence) 💓I've been documented the passing days since my Dad's last breath nearly 2 weeks ago. This is a summary of moments and exchanges to be highlighted since Wednesday...it's Friday today. These stories of strength and grief were reflected on Days 10, 11 & 12 after losing my Dad. Thank you for listening and bearing with me as I navigate showcasing these stories. I do say Tuesday instead of Wednesday at one point and I accidentally cut out words here and there...so thanks for listening and being patient as I figure out my flow here with y'all. Sometimes I just gotta let go and say good enough. I hope you can too. Much love, Serena

It's been 9 days. It feels like a month. In this episode, I share a bit about my Dad's uprootedness and an intro to his education during childhood. I also touch on the feeling of uprootedness and how important it is to connect with our ancestors and our own lineages.

Grief isn't just an experience that happens with death. I'm figuring out how it works and so much more about love and the lines of communication between myself, emotions and how I navigate relationships, memories and change. Thanks for listening 💓🎧