Bitter Coffey

On the one-year mark of the pandemic and a 15th birthday for Grace Batsie, Kelly & Margo reflect on how odd the past 12 months have been.  There’s not a lot of humor this week, but there’s real talk and the hope for a return to some sense of normalcy.  This might be the last episode that is done remotely, probably because this is the first episode that sounds somewhat normal. 

Back from a week off from recording, Kelly and Margo discuss Kelly’s staycation and the random, short-sighted, uninformed decision to jump into a 1-day juice cleanse.  The creepy story about the garage door repairman is finally shared, and the idea of a musical walking cane that provides a host of musical themes would probably see the light of day if either Kelly or Margo had the slightest grasp of electrical engineering. Kelly poorly promotes her favorite Etsy shop and Margo’s internet issues during recording offer the opportunity for both hosts to pine for a return to post-COVID recording in the studio. Alexa’s negative attitude concerns Kelly and Margo hopes for Oprah Winfrey quality backyard citrus trees.  

 A narrowly escaped drop-foot kicks off this week's episode, where Kelly and Margo learn a lot about Sam's cervix.  The  idea of a Battle of the Moms is discussed, as is the emotional and physical trauma of shopping mall ear piercings. COVID prevents Margo, Kelly and Sam from doing a Pandemic Dress photo shoot at Target, and Kelly faces the reality that breaking up with Cheryl and her cookies is hard to do. 

Margo and Kelly welcome friend and co-worker Sam “Lark” Diaz to the show, and realize they each had experiences working for, or almost working for, the federal government.  They review the previous week’s inauguration, the clinginess of Lady Gaga, the fierce factor of Michelle Obama, and compare Joe Biden’s Bible to a very big sandwich. Sam explains the origin into her numerous monikers and her religious faith, Kelly grandstands over the number of Gummi Bears she can fit in her mouth and Margo may or may not be broadcasting from a bunker in an undisclosed location. 

Kelly and Margo celebrate their technological leap into the 21st century a mere 10 months into the pandemic.  Margo looks forward to having her hip replaced and Kelly opines that her silent, unfair judgement of others is what keeps her from being called for jury duty. They discuss their recent COVID vaccines, and once again wait for Dan Batsie to fix everything. Margo feeds her children cookies for breakfast and Kelly finally forces her dog to wear a sweater. 

The “That’s What She Said” bell quickly becomes the third host in the 3rd season premiere of Bitter Coffey.  Margo might leave her life behind and become a rancher, and Kelly breaks down her fear of clowns, but failed to share at least half the story.  Family trees are randomly discussed, as well as boring and/or dangerous and/or illegally acquired toys from their youth that have left both emotional and physical scars.  Margo shares the term “cherry bumping” and Kelly pretends to speak French.  And of course, there’s a story about a naked bicycle thief. 

In a rare Saturday morning show, Margo does her best to navigate Kelly's excessive coffee consumption earlier that morning, while discussing cardiovascular issues, Jell-O, and a recording of an ice cream murder truck drive-by.  Kelly goes into her decades-long fear of fabric stores, and Margo shares that her dislike of PB&J might be un-American. Salad bars are mourned and Darek's stellar editing skills hide a segment when Kelly just starts hitting buttons on the laptop for no apparent reason. 

Margo and Kelly both process their recent COVID tests, and we're happy to report they are both negative.  Kelly confuses Match Game with Hollywood Squares and Margo shares a pandemic-driven game show reboot. There's a moment when Kelly is searching for a recording of an ice cream truck that spirals away from her, and Margo discusses her obsession with the Tottenham Hotspur Football Club, complete with highly-anticipated team regalia.

Margo and Kelly celebrate the first days of fall, and discuss ice cream trucks from the 1980s, leading to a Cannonball vs. Screwball Debate. They ponder the resilience of Greek pool floaties and how Bed, Bath & Beyond claims to be the "Master of Kelly's needs."  A fruit fly repeatedly swings by the studio, and Margo shares yet another word that Kelly has never heard. 

Fan of the show and our creative consultant Grace Batsie joins Margo and Kelly, where they continue to break down the origin and validity of the term "meatbird." They also delve into 80's candy, old people TV shows, violent sugary beverage mascots and the genius of Dan Batsie. There are several times where Kelly is convinced the show isn't recording, but continues to ramble on for the better part of an hour.