Blended Family Breakthrough

Do you ever stop to think about what it will be like 15 years from now?  What will your relationship with each of your children be like?

Maybe you've got a HARD kid (Hurt, Angry, Rejecting, Distant) who's putting up walls and seems to have turned against you - and it feels like this painful season will never end.  The tension in your relationship with your child has robbed you of the connection you really want — and you aren't sure how to respond.

That's exactly what we were experiencing 16 years ago, but you know what…

…it didn't last forever.

Back when we were navigating a 3-year battle of parental alienation, Kim's daughter, Annika, was hostile and actively rejecting our family.  In the middle of all the confusion, anger, and pain, we weren't sure how to move beyond the 'black cloud' of tension we experienced during our visitation with Annika.

Somewhere along the way, Kim discovered some practical strategies that created bridges of connection with Annika.  It was just enough to help us hold onto hope and keep us moving forward. 

The perseverance has paid off and now in Annika's adult life, we have a strong, loving connection with her.

Kim is sharing a few powerful tips in this episode that can help you build bridges of connection too.  We want you to know that you can stay hopeful and show up well, even with a HARD child.  Your current season might be filled with difficult challenges, but you have what it takes to help your child know that you're loving, safe, and available.

Listen in on this episode to find out more.

You'll Discover:

• Our story of parental alienation and how Kim was able to carefully create bridges of connection with her daughter.
• Encouragement and practical tips for engaging with your hurt, angry, rejecting, or distant child.

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 194. Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]
• Article by Dr. Bob Evans:  17 Primary Alienation Strategies
• Episode 42.  Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation - and 6 Tips for You
• Book by Amy J.L. Baker and Paul R. Fine:  Parenting Under Fire - How to Communicate with Your Hurt, Angry, Rejecting, Distant Child
• Article by Amy Baker:  Five Things to Never Say to an Alienated Child

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

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Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

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Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

 Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews”.  Thank you.

Resources:

Episode 194. Powerful Tips for Effectively Connecting with Your Angry or Distant Child [with Dr. Amy J.L. Baker]

Book by Amy J.L. Baker: and Paul R. Fine  Parenting Under Fire

Article by Amy J.L. Baker:  Five Things to Never Say to an Alienated Child

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Children of divorce who are hurt, angry, rejecting, and distant (HARD) are challenging to parent.  They can be rude, uncooperative, and disagreeable.  It's difficult to relate to or connect with them, and they can appear hardened against the love and guidance you want to provide.

When conflict between two homes intensifies, children often become entangled in loyalty conflicts or sometimes victims of parental alienation. Whatever the reason might be, parents need help!

If it feels like you've been parenting "under fire" and you're struggling to understand the dynamics your child might be experiencing, and you're trying to figure out how to best communicate and connect with them, you won't want to miss this interview. 

Our special guest Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D., shares her experience working with parents of HARD children as they navigate the minefields of confusion, pain and frustration.  Amy offers effective strategies to enhance attachment with your child and manage your difficult dynamics — including how to respond to false accusations.

If you're trying to parent a "HARD" child we want you to know there's hope and you can start making progress by listening in for practical tips on safeguarding your relationship through appropriate communication, self-awareness, and empowerment. 

You'll Discover:

• Effective ways to connect and communicate with a child who is hurt, angry, rejecting, or distant
• How to respond to false accusations and avoid reinforcing negative beliefs  that the other parent is influencing
• Practical steps to enhancing attachment with your child by focusing on safety, love, and availability
• Warning signs to look for in your kids (and your Ex) that could possibly lead to Parental Alienation 

Resources from this Episode:

• CLICK HERE to connect with Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D. 
• Book by Amy J.L. Baker and Paul R. Fine:  Parenting Under Fire - How to Communicate with Your Hurt, Angry, Rejecting, Distant Child
• Article by Amy Baker:  Five Things to Never Say to an Alienated Child
• Article by Dr. Bob Evans:  17 Primary Alienation Strategies
• Episode 42.  Our Challenging Story of Parental Alienation - and 6 Tips for You

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Resources:

Episode 193. The Advantage of Learning The Basics BEFORE You  Blend

CLICK HERE to receive a curated podcast list to help you learn the Basics of Blending 

Episode 109. Preparing to Blend:  The Couples Guide to Becoming a Smart Stepfamily [with Ron Deal]

Book by Ron Deal:  Preparing to Blend:  The Couple's Guide to Becoming a Smart Stepfamily

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-)  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Most of us start off on the blending journey with some ambiguity about how to deal with the complex dynamics that will come as families merge.

It usually doesn't take long before you're blindsided by the reality that there's SO MUCH MORE to blending than first anticipated.  Feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and disappointment might hit and you realize you're not as prepared as you thought. 

If you're seriously dating, contemplating marriage, engaged, newly married or getting ready to merge and move everyone under one roof — or if you've been on your blended journey for a while and you just need to get back to the basics…

…this episode is for you!

Discover in ADVANCE what you can do to prepare for your blend and avoid the common "easy wrong turns" that often create confusion, resentment, tension, conflict, and disconnection in blended families.  

Hop into this episode to learn best practices, helpful strategies, and understand the basics of blending so that you can set your family up for the best possible experience!

You'll Discover:

• The advantage of preparing in ADVANCE for blended family life
• Basics for blending that build a healthy foundation so that everyone in your home can experience the best possible outcomes 
• How to avoid the 'easy wrong turns' that lead to confusion, resentment, relational tension, painful conflict, and disconnection for blended families 

Resources from this Episode:

• CLICK HERE to receive a curated list of episodes that take a deeper dive into today's A.D.V.A.N.C.E. topics
• Book: Crucial Conversations  - Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
• Join our Blending Together Community

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-)  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Resources:

Episode 172.  2 Key Elements to Resolve Your Parenting Style Differences - And Get United 

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

What's one of THE most challenging "feats" for blended couples to successfully master?

Building a healthy, collaborative parenting partnership!

What makes this so difficult?

The sensitive topic of parenting can naturally kick off an emotionally-charged conversation, ending in disagreement, conflict, and disconnection.

If you're anything like us, you've probably experienced painful, unproductive interactions around parenting that left you at risk…

…at risk of shutting down or shutting each other out

…at risk of reacting poorly in those moments that matter most

…at risk of ongoing distrust

…at risk of experiencing double standards, hurt feelings, ongoing tension, resentment, and relational strain in your home.

Here's the good news:  you CAN minimize these risks by practicing new ways to communicate that build your parenting partnership!

In this episode, we'll share how we've learned to master the "feat" of building a parenting partnership by engaging in sensitive parenting conversations that built trust and healthy collaboration in our relationship.  Ultimately, all of this will lead to better outcomes for kids — and for you!

You'll Discover:

• A simple 4-part process to initiating sensitive conversations and address concerns about your partner's child 
• How to reduce conflict and break free from unproductive, ineffective communication patterns around parenting  
• Practical steps for building a healthy, collaborative parenting partnership 

Resources from this Episode:

• Episode 187. Basics for Blending:  How to Tolerate and Manage Discomfort and Distress 
• Book:  Crucial Conversations - Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Resources 

• Episode 191.   Achieve Financial Harmony:  Expert Guidance for Blending Your Finances [with special guests Ron Deal & Greg Pettys]
• Book by Ron Deal, Greg Pettys & David Edwards:  The Smart Stepfamily's Guide to Financial Planning:  Money Management Before and After You Blend a Family
• Click here to connect with Greg Pettys for a FREE consult regarding basic estate planning (wills, trusts, power of attorney, and guardianship) 

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Money is emotional.

That's why it can be a touchy subject for couples — whether they're preparing to blend or if they've been blending for a while.  Discussing finances can lead to very real challenges.

The process of "merging money"  can easily become complicated and overwhelming for blended family couples.  The complexities tap into deeper emotions tied to things like fear, trust, loyalty, security, and stability. 

But "complex" and "impossible" are two different things.  The emotional nature of money doesn't have to keep couples stuck.  It is possible to create transparency, understanding, and alignment around your finances — for today and for the future. 

And the great part is, alignment around finances often creates greater levels of trust and intimacy in your relationship.

So if your goal is to love, care, and provide for everyone in your family, but you just aren't sure how to effectively merge your finances — this episode is for you!

We're so grateful to have Ron Deal and Greg Pettys on the show to share expert advice and practical steps for discussing and managing your financial expectations and future plans…  

…this episode is a MUST for every blended couple.

You'll Discover:

• How to move beyond fear and ambiguity to create transparency, understanding, and alignment around money
• The difference between a Prenuptial Agreement (which is a contingency plan that assumes failure) and a Togetherness Agreement (which is a proactive plan that assumes success)
• How to build emotional and financial security and safety while making decisions around money — even when there's doubt and distrust
• How to honor and provide for your children's future, while offering care and concern for your spouse and stepchildren's financial future as well

Resources from this Episode:

• Book by Ron Deal, Greg Pettys & David Edwards:  The Smart Stepfamily's Guide to Financial Planning:  Money Management Before and After You Blend a Family
• Click here to connect with Greg Pettys for a FREE consult regarding basic estate planning (wills, trusts, power of attorney, and guardianship) 
• Click here for a list of Smart Stepfamily Providers for help with 'under the surface' issues. 

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Resources:

Episode 139. The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Blended Couple Experiences (Stranded Stranger / Trapped Teammate Dynamic) 

Episode 5. How to Get Over the Hurts and Triggers From Your Past

Dr. Patricia L. Papernow - Stepfamily Relationships

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://www.blendedfamilybreakthrough.com/free-call

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you to do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us to read too! :-)  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!