Kids and adults experienced losses in their journey from first family to blended family life.  

Of course, we all want to protect our kids, but the reality is those previous losses can place each of us at risk of developing relational dysfunction.

This certainly isn't what any caring parent wants to hear…

…but it's critical for all of us to be aware of how we can inadvertently slide into unhealthy roles with our kids.  Sometimes well meaning, but misplaced boundaries can set the stage for relational dysfunction.

One type of dysfunctional result has a name:  Parentification.

Whether you've heard about Parentification before or you have no idea what we're talking about, you'll want to pay attention to today's essential discussion with our expert guests.

Ron Deal and Lauren Reitsema are joining us in this episode to talk about what Parentification actually is, the ramifications of this dysfunction, and how to protect your kids by preserving their childhood.

This is an informative conversation with deep insight that will help you identify and define healthy parent/child roles and establish appropriate boundaries in your home.

You'll Discover:

• What "Parentification" is and what it's not
• The negative impact of Parentification for kids now and into their future
• Practical ways to safeguard your kids from the burdens of Parentification
• What to do if Parentification is going on in your kids' other home
• What healthy roles and appropriate boundaries look like for a blended family

Resources from this Episode:

• Book:  In Their Shoes by Lauren Reitsema
• Book:  Building Love Together in Blended Families by Ron Deal & Gary Chapman
• Article from Navesink Wellness Center:  When Your Child Becomes Your Confidant:  The Trap of Emotional Safety
• Episode 99:  3 Tips to Help You Move Beyond Painful Guilt and Regret

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

We would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Want to join our virtual workshop called Stepfamilies that Make It! — simply click the link!

Or maybe you'd like to schedule a Free Initial Coaching Call — click that link instead.

We're looking forward to connecting with you soon!

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

You've probably heard the advice to lower your expectations when you're blending a family.  But what does that really mean?

Does it mean you're supposed to keep the bar low and not expect much of anything?  Or is there something more to this common advice for blended families?

In this episode, we'll explore the difference between lowering your expectations altogether vs. developing achievable expectations for your family.

I (Mike) struggled for years holding onto unrealistic expectations that added a whole lot of pressure and stress to our situation.  Eventually, I realized that holding onto my own "dreams" and expecting everyone else to comply was taking us in the opposite direction of what I wanted.

My high expectations were sabotaging our progress.  

But realizing this didn't mean I needed to give up on my hopes for our family — I really wanted good things for all of us.

Listen in as Kim and I discuss how we eventually learned to get united, to set realistic expectations for our home, and make real progress toward those things we each wanted to experience in our blended family. 

You'll Discover:

• What it really means to "lower" your expectations — in a healthy way
• How to embrace realistic expectations without lowering the bar
• The difference between relational expectations and behavioral expectations
• Practical ways to reduce disappointment, hold onto hope, and live out  achievable expectations in your home 

Resources from this Episode:

• What is the Stranded Stranger / Trapped Teammate Dynamic?  Check out this episode to find out:  139. The Most Common, Challenging Pain Point Every Bended Couples Experiences
• Here's another helpful episode on this topic:  53. Overcoming Discouragement (part 3 of 3)

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Resources from this Simple Step

• The Love Language Quiz
• Building Love Together in Blended Families by Gary Chapman & Ron Deal
• Episode 85:  How to Uniquely Build More Love and Connection in Your Blended Family with Special Guest Ron Deal

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Stepparents want to feel connected in their blended family.  They often invest their energy and efforts into serving with a genuinely hopeful heart.

But frequently, we hear from heartbroken stepparents that are exhausted.  They feel like they've tried everything to break through the barriers with a resistant stepchild.  

But nothing seems to be working and they're starting to lose hope.  Their stepchild continues to treat them with disrespect, push them away, or even act as if they don't exist.  

These stepparents feel frustrated, confused, hurt, annoyed, angry and hopeless…

…it's a painful place to be.

But the truth is — there is hope!

In this episode, we'll explore real-life strategies for a real-life struggle that multitudes of stepparents experience across the world.  The struggle?  

Rejection.

If you’re a stepparent who feels rejected by a stepchild you simply want to love, this episode is for you.  

Hop into the discussion to discover what you can do to hold onto hope and create an environment where connection and healthy bonds can emerge in your home — even with a resistant stepchild. 

You'll Discover:

• How to stay empowered in your own sense of worth and maintain your personal resolve to keep trying 
• Practical strategies to create an environment where more connection and healthy bonds can emerge — even in the face of rejection

Resources from this Episode:

• In Their Shoes by Lauren Reitsema
• Building Love Together in Blended Families by Gary Chapman & Ron Deal
• The Smart Step Mom by Ron Deal and Laura Petherbridge
• Stepparenting: Keeping it Sane by Charles Fay, Ph.D.
• Episode 157:  3 Seasoned Stepmoms Share How They've Survived and Thrived in Their Blended Family Journey
• Episode 47:  How to Like Your Step-Child…When You're Feeling Frustrated and Annoyed
• Episode 30:  Should Stepparents WANT Authority with their Step-Kids?
• Episode 37:  Why do Kids Struggle to Accept their Stepparent?
• Episode 39:  How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Step-Kids
• Episode 26:  Are You Stuck in a "Competition" with Your Step-Kids? 
• Episode 25:  How to Survive Time Alone with Your Step-Kids

Quick reference to all episodes on 'Kid's Perspectives'

Ready for some extra support?
Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

Stepparents typically have great intentions and high expectations around the role they'll play in their blended family.  

But it doesn't take long for them to realize how daunting stepparenting can actually be!

When a well-meaning stepparent finds themselves frustrated with the pre-established patterns of how their new partner tends to parent, they often make an easy wrong turn…

…they attempt to jump into directing and correcting.  And when that approach backfires, it often leads to a whole lot of pushback and tension in the home — within the step relationships AND between the adults.

Whether you've inadvertently made this easy wrong turn or if you're simply hoping to avoid it, we've to some good news!  There are practical ways to more effectively embrace your role as a stepparent — even when you're feeling frustrated.

In this episode, we'll be sharing some helpful strategies from an excellent resource specifically for stepparents.  (And the great thing is, many of the concepts also apply to bio-parents.)  

Discover how you can avoid power struggles, reduce conflict, gain confidence, and work together to become effective parenting partners.  

You'll Discover:

• The common "melodrama" of blended family dynamics that sets up dysfunction
• How to take care of yourself as a stepparent by setting enforceable limits
• The benefits of using a parenting method as you strengthen your partnership and calm the chaos in your home

Resources from this Episode:

• Stepparenting: Keeping it Sane by Charles Fay, Ph.D.
• Quick reference to all episodes on Parenting and Discipline

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

If you're a stepparent, consider these important questions: 

• What are the "gaps" that you've identified?  Challenge yourself to examine if they happen to be reasonable differences in how you and your partner approach parenting.  
• Are your interactions with your step kids focused more on correction or connection?  
• Do you eagerly jump into fix-it mode?  
• Do you feel yourself becoming someone you never wanted to be in your blended family - maybe you appear to be overbearing or emotionally fragile?
• How can you take a step back from correction and find practical ways to create more trust and connection with your step kids?

Resources from the Simple Step

Episode 157.  3 Seasoned Stepmoms Share How They've Survived and Thrived in Their Blended Family Journey

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!

It's been said that being a Stepmom is like setting your hair on fire and trying to put it out with a hammer!  

The reality for many stepmoms is a regular sense of rejection, pressure, disrespect, or even slander.  It can be a struggle to hold onto their own identity — to find their place and their purpose as the family "blends".

A stepmom's pain, confusion, and disappointment might feel overwhelming and can keep them stuck in survival mode.  

But there's always hope!

In this episode, our friends Brenda, Tiffany, and Stacy candidly share all the ups and downs they've experienced as seasoned stepmoms.

Brenda is a Stepmom, Life Coach, Author, and International Speaker who is passionate about helping marriages and families flourish, especially in the context of blended families.  She and her husband founded the ministry "Restored and Remarried" where they provide encouragement and hope to couples in stepfamilies.  

Tiffany and Bryan married and began their blending journey almost 10 years ago.  Bryan entered the marriage with 2 kids, (currently ages 17 and 19).  Tiffany has 1 biological child that she placed for adoption at birth who is now reconnected and very much a part of the family.  Tiffany leads a small group for stepmoms, and together with Bryan supplements pre-marriage mentoring for couples preparing to blend.

Stacy has been married to Rich for almost 9 years and is a stepmom to 4 amazing young women.  She does not want others to feel alone on their blending journey and is passionate about loving and encouraging other stepmoms and blended family couples.

Each of these courageous stepmoms has struggled through difficult seasons but has stayed the course.  They've decided not to settle for just surviving, but chosen to learn how they can truly thrive in their blended families!  

You won't want to miss the valuable lessons these three triumphant stepmoms have learned along the way.

You'll Discover:

• The biggest challenges, sweetest moments, practical insights, encouragements, and ah-ha revelations from 3 stepmoms who've gone the distance and learned how to not just survive blended family life, but to truly thrive

Resources from this Episode:

• Want to connect with Brenda and her husband Gil? Just click this link:  https://gilandbrenda.com/
• Episode 47:  How to Like Your Step-Child…When You're Feeling Frustrated and Annoyed
• Episode 72:  The Best Way to Create Healthy, Bonded Relationships (The Crockpot Strategy)
• Episode 39:  How to Create Strong Bonds with Resistant Stepkids
• Episode 37:  Why do Kids Struggle to Accept their Stepparent?
• Episode 156: The 3 Super Strengths of a Blended Family Marriage

Ready for some extra support?

We all need extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Thanks for joining me for this Simple Step.  Here are the 3 questions I asked you to consider this week:

1.  What's something new that you want to experience in your relationship that will positively influence everyone in your home?
2. What kind of marriage do you want to model to your kids and stepkids?
3. What is the legacy that you want to leave for your family?

Grab a notepad or journal and capture your genuine answer to these questions.

Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question  

Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show?  Let us know!

We've made it easy.  Just click here:  https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share

Ready for some extra support?

We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help.  You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home.  Schedule your free call here:  https://calendly.com/mikeandkimcoaching/freesession

Subscribe or Follow the Show 

Are you subscribed or following the podcast yet?  If not, we want to encourage you do that today so you don't miss a single episode.  

Click here to subscribe in Apple Podcasts

Click here to follow on Spotify

Leave a Review in Apple Podcasts

If you’re feeling extra helpful, we would be so grateful if you left us a review over on Apple Podcasts too. Your review will help others find our podcast — plus they’re fun for us read too! :-)  Just click here to Review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and then select “Write a Review” — let us know what your favorite part of the podcast is.  Thank you, we really appreciate your feedback!