Blue Balls NYCFC

A frustrating match that began with a rain delay and ended with a 1-goal deficit, and that's the end of our winning streak! Your boys in blue are back to break down each play in this match — but because we do them all 48 times, the episode is 37 hours long. Have fun! We talk the early Mit-jection, goals not-quite-disallowed, continued Maxi-mum brilliance, and the debut of the second young Christian to nab some first-team minutes. Plus MLS All-Stars and a bunch of stuff we ran out of time to do and promise for next week, and a star-studded LA Galaxy precap. Wipe off your telescope — you've got Blue Balls.

Do we even need to introduce this week's pod? Jake & Trey bask in the glory of a five-one victory and the return of Maxi "Miles" Moralez, the spiderman himself, the min-maxed maestro, the five-foot nothing colossus. But outside of Maxi's 24 minutes of play, there's plenty else to break down and your boys cover a feckless first half of tactical adjustments, Alonso Martinez' record-breaking hat-trick, Tayvon's positional fearlessness, and much more. THEN: a look back at the Baby Blues' doomed but delightful U.S. Open Cup run, and a look forward at a new era in the USWNT as Emma Hayes grabs the reins and spurs her squad to a first friendly victory. Plus: a moderately meaningless Columbus Crew precap before the bye-week. Turn the sprinkler hose down a couple ticks — you've got Blue Balls.

Blue Ballers, it's been a hell of a May! Your Pigeons have been stacking up points and with three more in the pocket coming home from Massachusetts, there's a lot to celebrate and a lot to break down. Jake and Trey dig in to Big Bird's big score, NYCFC's rock solid centerbacks, Gray growth and gravitas, Gil-turns, and more. Then: casino drama at NYCFC's future home, prognostications on the depth charts, and a solid San Jose preview of NYCFC's glorious return to the Bronx. Drop those fat sausages on your Memorial Day grill — you've got Blue Balls.

Buona Settimana blue ballers and what a settimana it has BEEN. Your boys in blue have come off a triumphant and historic 9 point week, finishing up with a win in the provincial first Hudson River Derby in Queens. We are ready to cover it all, and by "we" we mean half of us as Jake couldn't make it to this one. But FEAR NOT as we brought on noted twitterati, podcaster, and blogger John Baney (aka @ThePigeonsNYCFC) off the bench to help break down the dubs. We talk a thrilling showdown versus the cross-river rivals, a little locker room talk, a homecoming for good ol' Cakes, and the briefest of precaps re: New England mishegoss. Hang loose and hang tight: you've got blue balls.

Blue Ballers, we are feeling FRESH AND FROSTY after our first road win in — a year?? against a feisty Toronto FC with a lot to say. Jake and Trey waste no time in breaking down the Toronto Tunnel Tiff in as much grisly detail as we've got — which is to say, not much! Then, some actual soccer. A 3-2 victory away gives us much to celebrate and MUCH to analyze with major showings from ascendant Pigeons. Plus a bonus recap of NYCFC II's latest Open Cup upset, and precaps of Philly and Red Bulls abound. Ice those (moose) knuckles — you've got Blue Balls!

Folks, NYCFC crashed into a soggy wall out in Queens this weekend to fall to a hobbled Colorado 0-2. Jake and Trey don't want to be talking about it, but talk about it they do — complete with all the segments you've come to expect. Freese praise, Bakrar banter, a Santi survey, Jovanvestigations. Your boys in blue are playing the hits! PLUS: a Maxi-valuation on the Spiderman's return, and an eye towards ascension for the insurgent Baby Blues who take the field TONIGHT against another Colorado team. THEN: we get no-nonsense on the northern border for a Toronto precap. Un-bunch your shorts when you're crossing the Peace Bridge: you've got Blue Balls.

With three wins and five unbeaten, NYCFC just might be back folks — and your Boys in Blue are here to tell you how, why, and when it all happened. Jake and Trey break down a messy but massive 2-1 redemption win over Charlotte that saw goals from a gorgeous Big Bird header and wunderkind Alonso, plus our usual Freese flowers, nods to the wings, and some love to Bakrar stretching ever closer to the end of his dry spell. Plus: an overdue review of the Blue Twos, some not-quite locker room talk, and a nasty little precap of a Colorado visit to cap off our home run. I wouldn’t hike in those shorts — you’ve got Blue Balls.

Wonder of wonders, is NYCFC good now? A 2-0 victory against DC United would seem to press the question as Nick Cushing extends his lossless streak and Santi Rodriguez and Julian Fernandez both expand their accounts. We talk both goals, of course, plus effective team play, a broken-hearted Bakrar, Martens mania and the defense that contained the uncontainable in Benteke, and much more. Plus: Trey Goes To The Mayor, a site visit to the Valley of Ashes, and a goodbye to a wunderkind NYCFC transfer sleuth and twitter personality. Then: a quick n' dirty Charlotte precap for a big round two against size queens The Crown. Make sure to do your kegels — you've got Blue Balls.

INCOMING! Something different on the pod this week? Jake & Trey wake up to find they have a WIN to celebrate and deconstruct, and some actual NYCFC momentum to analyze and ballyhoo. Your boys in blue talk Agustin Ojeda's nasty little account opener, a deepening defensive fight, Big Bird's bedrock balls, and much more. Plus: Open Cup prognostications, Concacaf Champions conversations, and stadium vote machinations. Then: a dirty discussion of the District before this weekend's Acela matchup against DC United. Time at last to put away those winter digs; you've got Blue Balls.

Draw 2, back in the habit, and Jake and Trey are here to make it sacreligious with a savvy and incisive recap of a 1-1 draw against a threatening Atlanta at home. We talk stretched midfields, Katy Perrys, whiffs of goals and wiffs at goals, and so much more. Plus: tales from the press box, mumbles around Mijatovic, and of course a prompt precap of fellow basement dwellers New England. Invest in some Gen Z baggy jeans — you’ve got Blue Balls.