Body Counts And Beer

TEENAGERS! Surly, hormonal, acne-scarred, fumbling at bras in the dark. In honor of next week's MIGHTY MORPHIN' POWER RANGERS: THE MOVIE episode, we're discussing our FAVORITE MOVIE TEEN TEAMS!

This week we dig deep on every topic you can imagine: using CD's as throwing stars, Michael Fassbender emoting, improvised rap songs about mutant ninjas and for a Body Counts and Beer first, we limit terrible celebrity impressions to mostly zero!

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Let us know what movie to ramble about next, what you want more of, what you want even more of and if you want Jon to stop making super-specific reference you don't understand!

Is it the worst vampire movie of all time? The worst werewolf movie of all time? The worst Frankenstein movie of all time? VAN HELSING is all of the above, and so little more.

Listen as we hate harder than we've ever hated before (except maybe Green Lantern). We cover all the bases: Steampunk bullshit, the startling lack of Gillmen, alternative careers for King Kong, Tarzan's Frankenstein's Monster and angry, fist shaking police chiefs yelling "Van Helsing!"

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Let us know what you like, what you tolerate, what gives you pause, etc, what you need, give you what you need, YEAH! (INXS REFERENCE!)

They came through the fog, shrouded in darkness: our FAVORITE MOVIE VAMPIRES! Next week we tackle the Hugh Jackman shartfest known as VAN HELSING, so this week we're devoting our discussion to some amazing cinematic bloodsuckers!

Listen as Patrick breaks all the rules, Jon forces Mark into a terrible Nic Cage impression (again) and Mark forces everyone in reliving Tim Cappello's sexy sax man gyrations!

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Let us know what movie to discuss next, what movie we should never discuss, how to make Mark stop calling people "monsters," etc, many more, and etc!

With July 4th in the distant past and a certain 20-years too late sequel floundering in the theaters, we thought it only fair to piggyback on what little popularity was left with our discussion of the 1996 Roland Emmerich classic INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Jon, Patrick and Mark cover all the pertinent details: drunk Randy Quaid, the distillation of pure charisma that is Will Smith, uncomfortable racial impressions courtesy of Harry Connick Jr., and missing the days of Harvey Fierstein being in everything. BONUS: Somehow Patrick does NOT manage to confuse Bill Pullman with Bill Paxton.

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Let us know what you adored, what you despised, what movie we should watch next, what cuts of meat offer the best bang for your buck, etc!

This week, we pay tribute to all the hard working hunks of steel and cold fusion by discussing our FAVORITE MOVIE SPACESHIPS! We chose not to go with "BEST" because we didn't want to have to resort to using facts!

Patrick goes with Star Trek, and his reasoning is sound. Jon goes with Star Wars and his reasoning is delicious with a pickle on the side. Mark also goes with Star Wars because he is an unoriginal bastard. BONUS: We GUARANTEE at least TWO votes of "No Confidence" this episode or your podcast is FREE!

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This week we take a beer-fueled trip to 1999 and chat about the Brendan Fraser adventure THE MUMMY! Did we drink too much during a heat wave in a "studio" with no A/C? Possibly. Did said consumption lead to more digression than usual? MOST DEFINITELY!

The boys are joined by Chicago theatre director Kaitlin Taylor, and we hit every relevant point: Batman, the protection of personal property via paint, how NOT to get fired from a library and why sewer access is so much easier in film than real life.

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Brendan Fraser was Encino Man. He was George of the Jungle. He was School Ties. And now he's fighting CGI mummies!? INSANITY! This week, in honor of next week's take on THE MUMMY (1999), we discuss UNCONVENTIONAL ACTION HEROES!

Listen as Jon, Patrick, Mark and special guest Kaitlin Taylor cover all the bases: sarcastic assassins, Downton Abbey, how Patrick considers Paul Blart and Captain Kirk to be basically the same person and the longest "kill line" in movie history, complete with terrible Nic Cage impression (hint, hint).

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Let us know what you loved, what filled you with impending dread, and how we can pay tribute to Shog-Yuggoth, the Not Quite Ancient, But Still Pretty Old One.

Once again we imbibe beer (probably too much) and discuss an action movie (also probably too much) with the 1987 Peter Weller vehicle ROBOCOP!* Listen as we cover all the pertinent info: robots, cops, robot cops, cocaine clouds, defunct A/V supplies and the pact all men in the 80's made about their hair!

*NOTE: Robocop is not a vehicle. He is a full body cybernetic prosthesis. With a sweet spike for computer hacking/murder.

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Let us know what you liked, what you loved, what you shivered with anticipation for and what movie we should talk about next!

This week we convene to discuss our FAVORITE MOVIE ROBOTS! And we do so in record time because the "studio" battery was rapidly failing! That said, it's a contentious episode as everyone agrees that everyone is wrong!

Tune in next week for our take on the 1987 Peter Weller actioner/Jesus allegory ROBOCOP!

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WE'RE BACK! After a brief hiatus we return with a very special minisode that asks the toughest and/or stupidest question: What action movies NEED to be turned into lavish Broadway musicals?

Join Patrick, Jon, Mark and special guest Dee Amaral (Public Access Live) as they discuss dancing space marines, the many styles of Devo, and the preferred musical genres of Misters Riggs and Murtaugh. BONUS: Jon is surprisingly good at improvised songwriting!

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Let us know what we got right, what we got wrong, pictures of cats holding machine guns or what movie we should tangent away from next!