Body Counts And Beer

Send a podcast to joke on a podcast! This week, Simon says "Watch a movie where Taco Bell is the only restaurant," and we rightly obliged! Watch as we combine Body Counts and Beer All-Stars Sylvester Stallone and Wesley Snipes in the 1993 action/sci-fi/terrifying-look-into-our-present DEMOLITION MAN!

We unlock the Three Seashells and show you what's inside: an informercial for cocaine, Jon goes after another beloved celebrity, we determine if Haggar is pants or a video game mayor, weird VR grunt sex, the grossest cover of the Sanford and Son theme ever, and a round robin Stallone off!

Please subscribe via SoundCloud, iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher Radio or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review so we can finally stop work the late shift at Arby's!

Like us on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer/

Follow us on Twitter: https://twitter.com/bodycountcast

Email us: [email protected]

Let us know what you like, what you hate, what reminds you of what you really am, whether you made it as a wise man, or what movie to watch next!

Do you like sequels? Prequels? Sidequels? Parallelequels? What if I said they were #AllConnected? What's that, Mr. Hollywood? You want to give us ALL THE MONEY! Deal! Here are our amazing ideas for the DEMOLITION MAN CINEMATIC UNIVERSE!

Next week we're talking Snipes and Stallone, but this week we're discussing the miraculous rise of President Schwarzenegger, the horrors of the Franchise Wars, the cultish leadership of Dr. Cocteau and the origin of Three Seashells: A Man and His Dream.

Please subscribe via SoundCloud, iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play, or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave a rating/review so we can incorporate it into our lovemaking routine!

Follow us on Twitter: @BodyCountCast

Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer

Email us: [email protected]

Let us know what you liked, what you hated, what you need, if you need us tonight, if you want a new sensation, if you know a suicide blonde, or if you just want a kick.

Those were INXS references because we're young and hip!

Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Body Counts and Beer. Our mission? To welcome special guest Lorenzo Toia (of Tiberius fame!) back to the studio to discuss the 2009 J.J. Abrams resequelmaganing STAR TREK!

In this epic installment we discover how many films start with fetishistic spaceship shots, how many ways Mark can describe a Romulan mining vessel, we "spoil" the ending of Lost, poor space laser attack planning and we weather a brief mutiny from Jon and Patrick. ALSO: everyone talks down to Mark because he doesn't know/doesn't care about Star Trek. ALSO ALSO: Download the album. #JarJarAbrams

Please subscribe via SoundCloud, iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play, or anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave a rating/review so we can use it as a reference on our job applications!

You can download the Tiberius album We're Here via iTunes here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/were-here!/id1133727160 or Bandcamp here: https://funnytiberius.bandcamp.com/album/were-here

Follow us on Twitter: @BodyCountCast

Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer

Email us: [email protected]

Let us know what you liked, what you disliked, what prepared you for the rigors of parenthood, what made you hangry, or what movie we should do next!

It is an impossible decision. One that we do not take lightly. Nevertheless, it is a decision that must be made, and by Article 16, Section 12 of Federation Regulations, we are the sole arbiters of this issue.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE STAR TREK?

Jon thinks Picard is the sexiest TNG cast member, Patrick vehemently disagrees, we learn about Kirk's crewload of illegitimate children, Mark makes the wrong decision and is rightfully chastised, Dee Amaral (from the Rambo III ep) makes a brief cameo to lust after Wesley Crusher, and special guest Lorenzo Toia (Tiberius: DOWNLOAD THE ALBUM!) has some harsh words for the internet's favorite memesmith, George Takei.

Please subscribe via SoundCloud, iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play, or anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed! Leave us a rating/review! Give us the strength to get over not stopping that robber who shot Uncle Ben so we can become Spider-Man!

Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer

Follow us on Twitter: @BodyCountCast

Email us: [email protected]

Let us know what you liked, what you hated, what comforted you in your times of need, what shook you all night long, or what movie we should do next!

We're taking a week off from drinking/movie-ing/bullshitting to let our livers regenerate/eyes recuperate/mouths re-hinge. So, in the spirit of Christmas in September (a totally real thing we just invented), enjoy this, our very first...

BONUS EPISODE!

Cobbled together from outtakes, bloopers, off-the-record confessions, and other ephemera, our very first BONUS EPISODE covers all the bases you need covered: Rick James, robot noises, Jon droning on about Star Wars, Mark's audition habits, etc, and MORE!

Please subscribe via SoundCloud, iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating/review so we can finally get the courage to ask Missy Watkins to the big Fall Fling!

Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer

Follow us on Twitter: @BodyCountCast

Email us: [email protected]

Let us know what you liked, what you hated, what you outright dismissed, what you unconditionally loved to kill those goblins, or what movie to watch next!

Not only are we going back-to-back Busey-as-Bad Guy, we're also taking our first trip on the Wesley Snipes Express: the tax dodging-est thrill ride you've ever witnessed! That's right, we're FINALLY discussing the 1994 John Badham skydivaganza DROP ZONE!

Listening to this episode is exactly like experiencing a free fall from 38,000 feet, by which we mean it is both life-affirming and terrifying! Patrick name drops Milton Friedman, Mark doesn't know who the Flaming Lips are, Jon finally reveals his Star Wars-related secret origin, and EVERYBODY needs a little more Swoop in their life. BONUS: A round of Presidential impressions!

Please subscribe via SoundCloud, iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play, or just about ANYWHERE fine podcasts are digitally thrown in your face. Leave us a rating/review so we can boost our self-esteem to "Asking out the Popular Girl" levels.

Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer

Follow us on Twitter: @BodyCountCast

E-mail us: [email protected]

And thanks to the Family Tantrums podcast (http://familytantrums.com/) for the excellent suggestion of DROP ZONE! If YOU have a suggestion for a movie we should do, let us know however is convenient for you: Facebook, Twitter, Email, carrier pigeon, smoke signals, et al.

Bouncy jazz! Snazzy suits! Brad Pitt eating things! This week, we're discussing our FAVORITE MOVIE HEISTS, with stops in Gotham, LA, Iran and no points in between! Patrick picks two because he's a cheater! Jon picks one, but from a movie he hates! Mark inarticulately discusses the finer points of government sanctioned people trafficking! PLUS: more Star Wars references from Jon! We're sorry!

Please subscribe via SoundCloud, iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, or anywhere fine podcasts are digitally doled out. Leave a rating or review so we can be considered for the Library of Congress.

Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer

Follow us on Twitter: @BodyCountCast

Email us: [email protected]

Let us know what you liked, what you hated, what reminds you of a warm summer day and if you'd like Jon to STOP MENTIONING STAR WARS.

What happens when you combine sexy sax, sad blues guitar, Christmas in California and a suicidal Mel Gibson? You get LETHAL WEAPON (1987), the Richard Donner/Shane Black classic that set the buddy cop template for years to come!

NOTE: We started drinking WAY early on this one, and suffered some technical difficulties, so we got a little loose while discussing: Mark's hot plate shenanigans, Patrick's New Year's Dress tradition, the fallout of "Oops! All Crunch Berries," Reagan vs. Mondale, giant Gary Busey and all the movies Shane Black did or did not write.

Please subscribe via SoundCloud, iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play, Blubrry, Podcast Addict, or wherever fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave a rating and/or review and make us feel mighty real!

Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer

Follow us on Twitter: @BodyCountCast

E-mail us: [email protected]

Let us know what you liked, what you loved, what you can't live without, what will come to define your life, or what you're just "meh" about.

Next week we tackle the guns/sex/sax/blues guitar time capsule known as LETHAL WEAPON! Until then, dig into our newest minisode where we discuss our FAVORITE BUDDY COP DUOS!

Patrick goes cross cultural and invokes Archie Bunker, Jon cheats (a little) and invents a new starring role for Don Knotts, and Mark has had too much to drink to coherently describe a movie he's seen literally hundreds of times.

Please subscribe via SoundCloud, iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Google Play, Podcast Addicts, Blurbrry or wherever fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave a rating and/or review so we can wave it in our bully's face!

Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer

Follow us on Twitter: @BodyCountCast

E-mail us: [email protected]

Let us know what you loved, what you tolerated, what you downright hated and what movie we should do next! We want to hear from you. ANY OF YOU.

When a morphological being threatens you tiny suburb with shitty CGI robots, who you gonna call? Surly teenagers with ninja robots! This week, we're discussing the 1995 feature length commercial MIGHTY MORPHIN' POWER RANGERS: THE MOVIE!

We cover it all this week: Patrick is angered by the curiosity of Angel Grove's parents, Jon explains Pokemon, Jon defends Jar Jar Binks, Mark accidentally invents a new religion, and most importantly: are ooze people...people?

Please download/listen/subscribe via SoundCloud, iTunes, Stitcher Radio and now Google Play! Leave us a rating/review so our coffee tastes better!

Like us on Facebook: facebook.com/bodycountsandbeer

Follow us on Twitter: @BodyCountCast

E-mail us: [email protected]