The lawyer becomes the defendant as Molly commits multiple offenses at puppy play class. Claire is also in the doghouse with the witch who put a curse on her. Will true love’s kiss make her keys come back? Also this week, we discuss Netflix’s The Beast in Me and argue about whether Redemption Babies™️should be allowed to be boys. We also argue over whether boys should be allowed to have secrets as we continue our conversation on Heart the Lover. And get ready for a holiday-inspired writing exercise that has us clutching our Warmie.

The Climate Clock is on, and we’re racing to write our novels. You may not be getting them by end of year (EOY for my stupidheads with jobs,) but we are pinning down a key element this episode: what is the main character’s deal? You’ll also get a full NYC weather report and Die My Love / Sexy Scaries recaps sure to ruin your week.

We recap a Halloweekend with high highs and low lows, including a crosswalk miracle, a generational witch’s brew, and an iPhone in a trash chute. Claire gets into the spooky spirit with the newest Ryan Murphy production about Ed Gein, while Molly seeks sunnier weather in Miami with a rewatch of Do Revenge. Turns out she loves pastels. We also indulge in a TED Talk about life and writing from author and white woman with dreads (yikes), Anne Lamott.

This week, we grappled with writing inner monologue— a challenge for two women who voice essentially every thought we have. We also cover Claire’s recent bout with scarlet fever (a harbinger of Christmas) and Molly’s time on the birthday circuit. Looking for closure on Claire’s watch of Task? You’re in luck. Hope to understand it? Sorry!

Uh, oh! We want to get margaritas with the Big Rizzler, also known as Jenna Bush Hager. In this week’s episode, we recap our trip to the Ripped Bodice in Brooklyn to hear JBH talk about her new imprint and its first novel from debut author, Ariel Sullivan. We also discuss how our final stop on the wedding circuit ended with a patriotic bang. And we try to claw Molly back from the clutches of Elle Kennedy’s Off Campus series.

This week, we celebrate some fall classics: rewatching Gilmore Girls, being haunted by ghosts, and starting up classes again at The Tessa Bailey School of Smut. We also review a representative sports romance, Elle Kennedy’s The Deal, which Claire hates and Molly recounts like she is trying to win her third Battle of the Books championship title.

This week, we coin a sixth love language: merch. Claire recounts her latest stop on the wedding circuit, and Molly reveals her new business venture, naming babies. We’ve also been watching crime procedurals that leave us feeling icky. Finally, we explore the idea of “setting as a character,” which takes us to Brooklyn, the airport, New Jersey, and a snowy cabin in the Pacific Northwest, probably.

It’s Meet Cute week, and we’re reading the excerpts from our novels wherein heroine meets hero! But even as you start to see us as authors, please don’t forget that we’re also lawyers. In fact, we at the offices of Grant & Young LLC have taken on a new case: what happened to Claire’s pants (UK) and dress (US), but not her Spanx (™)? Next on the docket, Claire defends the allure of full brief underwear and Molly nails The Riddler on racketeering.

In this episode, we have a come-to-Jesus moment about “the project” and “deadlines.” In other spiritual news, Claire has a fight with Spectrum that leaves us wondering if God is a clanker. Plus, Molly calls on the MLB to free Mrs. Met from the glass house that is her sexuality. We also cover the chaste kisses of My Life with the Walter Boys and The Hunger Games. If you’re looking for something saucier, download Cherry Pie.

Music lovers rejoice! In this episode, we review Haim’s current tour (stop talking to your props), write an original jingle (working title “Cruel is Cool”), and finally reveal ghosts’ favorite song (“Bubbly” by Colbie Callait). We also do an exercise in subverting romance tropes that Molly keeps wrongly comparing to Scattergories.