SUBWAY: The Black Olive Rebellion 🫒🥪

Remember when Subway carved a little canoe into the bread? When sandwich artists handed out stamps for free sandwiches because life was worth living? 

Yeah... me too.

In this episode of Born to Ramble, I tell the completely true story of my brief but unforgettable “career” as a Subway sandwich artist in the early 2000s. (Remember, they claimed you had to graduate from Subway University so I feel comfortable calling this a “career.”) It was a simpler time—before the bread-cutting changed, before the black olive rationing, and before “middle management” was synonymous with kill-joy.

From my revolving door of coworkers named Debbie (both of them) to a mandatory Saturday morning meeting entirely devoted to the ALARMING overuse of black olives, this story has everything:

* 🥪 Early-2000s Subway nostalgia

* 🫒 The Great Black Olive Crackdown

* 😈 A manager who took olives way too seriously

* ✍️ Petty workplace rebellion

* 😂 Fast-food memories you'll probably relate to

This isn't a story with a life lesson.

It's a story about black olives, terrible bosses, questionable workplace decisions, and the tiny acts of rebellion that make surviving your first jobs a little more fun.

If you've ever worked retail, fast food, or customer service, you'll probably recognize a Stacy or two.

In This Episode

* Why I still love the Subway Cold Cut Combo

* The original Subway bread-cutting method (RIP)

* How I accidentally became a sandwich artist

* The infamous mandatory "black olive meeting"

* Why I refused to ration olives

* The mystery of whatever happened to the generous sandwich artist

* My final act of workplace defiance

Read the print version 

If you enjoy funny personal essays, nostalgic stories, and observations about the absurdity of everyday life, subscribe to Born to Ramble on Substack for more original writing.

Enjoying the Show?

If this episode made you laugh:

* ⭐ Follow Born to Ramble wherever you listen.

* 💬 Leave a review—it really helps more people discover the show.

* 📤 Share this episode with the friend who always asks for "extra olives."

And if you worked at Subway in the 1990s or early 2000s...

I need to know.

Were your olives rationed too?

Never Trust a Badger: Reviewing A Bargain for Frances (and Why Thelma Was the Worst) 🫖📚

Did A Bargain for Frances shape your trust issues... or was that just me?

In this episode of Born to Ramble, Nikki revisits one of her favorite childhood books, A Bargain for Frances by Russell Hoban.

What once seemed like a simple story about friendship and sharing now looks more like a master class in manipulation, buyer's remorse, and learning exactly which friends you should never lend your favorite things to.

Because let's be honest...

Thelma was kind of the worst.

In This Episode

* 📖 A nostalgic review of A Bargain for Frances

* 🫖 Why the china tea set was always the obvious choice

* 🦡 Thelma's questionable friendship tactics

* 💸 How childhood books teach us lessons we don't fully appreciate until we're adults

* 😂 Nikki's hilarious, slightly unhinged take on one of the most memorable children's books of all time

Along the way, Nikki argues that the official moral of the story completely misses the point.

Instead, she offers two life lessons she wishes the book had taught:

* Never let someone talk you out of what you really want.

* Never trust someone who manipulates you into taking their leftovers.

About A Bargain for Frances

Originally written by Russell Hoban and illustrated by Lillian Hoban, A Bargain for Frances has been a beloved children's classic for generations. Featuring Frances the thoughtful badger and her mischievous friend Thelma, the story explores friendship, persuasion, and learning from mistakes—though Nikki has a few notes about that ending.

Why You'll Love This Episode

If you enjoy:

* Funny book reviews

* Children's book nostalgia

* Humorous memoir and storytelling

* Overthinking classic literature

* Sarcastic observations about everyday life

* Cozy conversations that go completely off the rails

...this episode is for you.

Follow Born to Ramble

Born to Ramble is a storytelling podcast where writer Nikki Settelmeyer shares funny personal essays, nostalgic memories, book reviews, original fiction, and observations about the wonderfully absurd parts of everyday life.

If you enjoyed this episode:

* ⭐ Follow the podcast so you never miss a story.

* 💬 Leave a review if you laughed (or if you also distrusted Thelma as a child).

* 📤 Share this episode with someone whose favorite childhood book deserves a second look.

Read the original written review 

Thanks for listening—and remember:

Friends may come and go...

…but a china tea set is forever.