A mind that won’t switch off can make a normal life feel heavy. In this episode of Ten Mentors, Dan shares why he read Dale Carnegie’s How to Stop Worrying and Start Living—and the six practical lessons that changed how he handles stress in real life: defining the worst-case scenario, sealing the day, putting a stop-loss on spirals (especially about people), letting the past stay in the past, using probability instead of panic, and closing the loops that keep anxiety alive. Along the way, Dan connects Carnegie’s tools to thinkers like Eckhart Tolle, the Stoics, Buddhism, Nietzsche, and Aristotle—different language, same message: stop feeding worry with your life.

This week on Ten Mentors, Dan shares four lessons that hit hard in real life.

First: we’re living through a “we” crisis. Trains full of silence. Dinners with phones on the table. Couples side-by-side but miles apart. This is not about blaming anyone, it is about noticing the default and choosing something better. A simple restore: put the phone away, not face down, away. One pint. One dinner. One night. Full attention back.

Second: nobody cares about your first podcast, your first book, or your early drafts, and that is freedom. Anonymity gives you room to experiment, be imperfect, and build momentum without performing.

Third: focus is a finite resource. If you chase money, fame, and status, you drift. Excellence is the input. The rewards are the outcome. Protect your attention from drama, comparison, and people who drain your energy.

And finally: balance is not evenly distributed. On the way up, imbalance is often the price. Different paths, different constraints, different seasons. The key question is not “Do I have balance?” It is “Do I understand the trade I am making?”

Borrow what helps and leave the rest.

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“Hate” is a word many of us used as kids. We blurted it out when we felt controlled, ignored, or blocked from what we wanted, and then an hour later we were fine. Relationship therapist Terrence Real calls the adult version of that flare “normal marital hatred”: not abuse, not contempt, not a sign you married the wrong person, but a temporary spike of anger that can surface when boundaries are crossed, independence is squeezed, hormones and stress are high, or resentment has been left to build. In this episode, we talk about why it happens, how to tell the difference between a passing flare and something more serious, and what to do in the moment so your relationship bends instead of breaks.

If you’re struggling to change your habits, you’re probably not the problem — your environment is. In this episode, we unpack a powerful truth: people imitate their atmosphere. From pub culture to phone scrolling, from what’s in your cupboards to who you spend your time with, your “system” quietly shapes what becomes normal. You’ll learn how to stop blaming yourself, spot the patterns around you, and start changing your habits by changing what surrounds you — one honest choice at a time.

We’ve been taught that joy should be big to be real. The kind you earn through milestones, adrenaline, or a life that looks impressive from the outside. But what if that’s backwards?

In this episode of Ten Mentors, we talk about the quiet shame of simple pleasures — and why making happiness rare makes life harder than it needs to be. From a friend almost dismissing a weekend of mushroom-picking to the everyday magic of watching whippets sprint wild and free in the forest, this is a reminder that small joy is not small ambition.

Because life isn’t mostly made of highlight reels. It’s made of ordinary days. And the people who can feel real happiness in the simple stuff might be the most resilient of all.

A gentle question to carry with you:
How little of a thing could happen to make your day

What if happiness isn’t something you “feel on command,” but something you quietly build over time? In this episode, Caoimhe rethinks our whole idea of happiness — beyond positivity culture, comparison, and the pressure to always be okay.

We explore meaning versus pleasure, the science of rhythm and movement, the Sardinian “Hi” effect, the power of warm relationships, and why purpose steadies us when life gets messy. A gentle conversation about joy, aliveness, and the small daily choices that make a life feel like your own.

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“Maybe I’m just unlikeable.” In this Ten Mentors episode, Caoimhe talks about that quiet fear so many of us carry — that people at work, in our families, or online don’t really like us. Through real mentee stories, the stadium metaphor, and ideas from The Courage to Be Disliked, you’ll learn why others’ reactions aren’t an X-ray of your worth, how to separate your task from theirs, and one small experiment to stop twisting yourself into knots just to be liked.

What if you stopped chasing perfection and focused on one promise instead: “I will honour my growth”? In this Ten Mentors episode, Caoimhe explores how tiny choices - a 20 minute workout, speaking once in a meeting, saying no when you are at capacity can reshape your future when you measure your days by growth, not performance.

Feel like you are doing good work but no one really sees you? In this Ten Mentors episode, Caoimhe shares what she learned from Jeffrey Pfeffer’s work on power, plus real stories from mentees, to show why humility without visibility becomes invisibility – and how to change that without becoming fake or loud. You will leave with three simple questions and one small, uncomfortable action to help you become more visible at work on your own terms.In this episode you’ll learn:
• Why “just work hard and be humble” keeps you invisible
• How power, networks, and informal influence really work at work
• Practical, uncomfortable-but-doable ways to make yourself more visible

Real progress and growth isn’t a straight line. There have to be pauses — the plateaus, the storms, the messy human dips where nothing seems to move. In this Ten Mentors episode, we talk about why progress needs stillness, why frustration is part of learning, and why sometimes the bravest thing you can do is eat the chocolate and chill the flip out.