Bounce Back, Black Woman! | Healing, Personal Growth, & Resilience

You can be genuinely hurt by something you only think someone meant.

You can be genuinely afraid of something that never happens.

You can even become genuinely excited and emotionally invested in a future that hasn't actually been established.

The feeling is real. But what is it based on?

In Part 2 of the Thoughts, Feelings, and Choice series, Coach Del builds on the previous conversation about examining our thoughts and explores how those thoughts can shape our emotional experiences.

Sometimes we're responding emotionally to what actually happened.

Other times, we're also responding to the meaning, motive, or intention we've assigned to what happened.

And when an unproven assumption creates a very real emotion, that emotion can begin influencing how we act, react, and make decisions.

In this episode, Coach Del explores the difference between feeling something about what happened and feeling something about what you believe was done to you, why the intensity of an emotion doesn't prove the thought underneath it is accurate, how both negative and positive assumptions can lead us beyond the facts, and why it's worth examining a feeling before allowing it to influence what you do next.

Ask yourself:

What am I feeling?

Next up: CHOICE—what happens when we recognize that our thoughts and feelings don't have to automatically determine what we do next.

Sometimes the thing you think is keeping you stuck isn’t the real thing.

Take Coach Del’s “What’s REALLY Holding You Back?” assessment to uncover the bottleneck that may be getting in the way of your next step.

🌐 Visit CoachDel.com to take the assessment.

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com

📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Your First Thought Isn't Your Only Thought

“I feel like she doesn't respect me.”

“I feel like I'm never going to get ahead.”

“I feel like they intentionally left me out.”

We say things like this all the time—but none of those statements actually describes a feeling.

They're thoughts.

And they're not automatically facts, either.

In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del begins a three-part conversation about Thoughts, Feelings, and Choice by exploring how quickly the things we're thinking can become “facts” in our own minds.

Using a personal experience of discovering that her siblings had gotten together without her, Coach Del separates what she knew from what she thought:

What she knew: Her siblings got together, and she wasn't invited.

What she thought: They intentionally excluded me because they didn't want me there.

Could that thought have been true?

Absolutely.

But at that moment, it wasn't something she actually knew.

And recognizing that difference creates another possibility:

You can change your thoughts.

Not by forcing yourself to think positively.

Not by ignoring your intuition.

Not by excusing someone's behavior.

But by asking:

What's a different thought that I could have?

Sometimes the different thought is simply:

I don't know yet.

In this episode, Coach Del explores how to recognize the difference between a thought and a fact, how thoughts can influence our emotional experience, and why a different thought doesn't necessarily have to be a “better” or more positive thought.

Three questions to practice:

What am I thinking?

Do I know that to be true?

What's a different thought that I could have?

This is Part 1 of a three-part series:

Thoughts → Feelings → Choice

Next episode: FEELINGS—and why the thought may or may not be true, but the feeling is still real.

If today’s conversation has you wondering what might be underneath some of your own patterns, take Coach Del’s short “What’s REALLY Holding You Back?” assessment.

It can help you begin identifying where your bottleneck may be and what could be getting in the way of moving forward.

Find the assessment at CoachDel.com.

Stay Connected with Coach Del

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com

📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Have you ever had something happen and almost immediately decided what it meant?

Someone doesn't call.

Your friend doesn't invite you.

Your boss doesn't respond the way you expected.

Your adult child isn't calling as often.

Or someone sends you the dreaded one-letter text:

“K.”

In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del shares a personal story about seeing Facebook photos of her sister and brothers spending time together—only an hour away—when she hadn't been invited.

Her feelings were hurt.

But something else happened, too.

Being left out quickly became:

"They intentionally excluded me because they didn't want me there."

And those aren't necessarily the same thing.

This episode explores the difference between what actually happened and what we make what happened mean.

Because when there's a gap between what we know and what we don't know, it's easy to fill that gap with an interpretation:

She doesn't value our friendship.

He must be losing interest.

My boss didn't think my work was good enough.

My child doesn't need me anymore.

Sometimes our interpretation may be accurate.

But sometimes we've turned an assumption into a fact without even realizing it—and then started changing our behavior, making decisions, or questioning our own worth based on that interpretation.

In this episode, you'll explore:

The difference between what happened and the meaning you assigned to it

How quickly an interpretation can begin shaping your emotions and behavior

Why questioning your interpretation doesn't mean ignoring your instincts or excusing someone else's behavior

How someone else's actions can activate beliefs or fears you already carry about yourself

Why the meaning you've assigned to a situation may sometimes be the real bottleneck

Three questions that can help you slow down before treating an interpretation as fact

The next time you notice yourself having a strong reaction to something someone said, did—or didn't say or do—pause and ask:

What actually happened?

What am I making it mean?

Do I know that to be true?

The goal isn't to find the one perfectly correct interpretation of everything everyone does.

It's to notice when your interpretation has quietly become fact in your own mind.

If this episode has you wondering whether something underneath your reactions may be creating a bottleneck in your own life, take Coach Del's short assessment:

What's REALLY Holding You Back?

It can help you begin identifying where your bottleneck may be—whether there's something you're having trouble seeing clearly, trying to handle alone, blaming yourself for, or afraid to face.

Find the assessment at CoachDel.com.

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com

📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Have you been spending more than usual? Eating differently? Working too much? Scrolling for hours?

Or maybe you’re on the other side—sleeping less, struggling to focus, pulling away from people, or simply not doing some of the things you normally do.

Coach Del calls these our “overs and unders.”

Sometimes when life gets stressful, overwhelming, uncertain, lonely, or just plain HARD, what we’re carrying starts showing up in our behavior before we’ve fully acknowledged what’s going on.

And our first instinct is often to fix the behavior:

I need to stop spending.

I need to get off this phone.

I need to focus.

I need more discipline.

And maybe we do.

But what if we also asked:

What might this behavior be doing for me?

In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del talks about recognizing changes in our behavior as information—not as another opportunity to criticize ourselves.

You’ll explore:

Sometimes the thing you’re trying to fix isn’t the first thing that needs your attention.

Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” try asking:

“What is going on with me?”

That little shift can open the door to greater awareness, more compassion, and more intentional choices.

What’s REALLY Holding You Back?

If today’s conversation has you wondering what might be underneath some of your own patterns, take Coach Del’s short “What’s REALLY Holding You Back?” assessment.

It can help you begin identifying where your bottleneck may be and what could be getting in the way of moving forward.

Find the assessment at CoachDel.com.

Stay Connected with Coach Del

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com

📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

You’ve communicated, waited, adjusted, and offered another chance.

But the change you’ve been hoping for still hasn’t happened.

How long should you continue waiting?

In this episode, Del shares a personal experience from a past relationship that looked good on paper—even as her intuition repeatedly told her something wasn’t right. She wanted the relationship to change, but eventually realized that the change she was waiting for wasn’t hers to create.

Her turning point came when she stopped asking whether things might eventually improve and asked:

“If nothing ever changes, can I accept this relationship exactly as it is?”

Later, she received confirmation that ending the relationship had been the right decision when the man’s now-wife contacted her and revealed his double life—a story Del previously shared in “When the Truth Finds You.”

But that confirmation came after the decision.

In this episode, you’ll consider:

If you’re unsure what may be keeping you circling, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment. It can help you begin identifying the pattern underneath the explanation you’ve been giving yourself:

https://tally.so/r/J94V1X

Once you’ve completed the assessment—or if you already recognize the bottleneck but need help determining what to do next—book a free one-on-one call with Del to discuss what you’ve discovered and explore whether Stuck-to-Steady is the right support for you:

https://calendly.com/delphine-smith/your-next-step-let-s-talk 

Connect with Del:

You have the talent. You have experience. You may even have evidence that other people value what you can do.

So why don’t you feel ready?

After being fired and spending approximately a year searching for another traditional job, Del began paying closer attention to women who were earning meaningful income from skills like hers. She saw full-time self-employed home bakers, coaches, authors, and speakers building businesses around their abilities.

Their success didn’t guarantee hers. But it raised an important question:

"Why not me, too?"

In this episode, Del explores how practical preparation can sometimes conceal a deeper doubt about our own capability. While training, strategy, and experience matter, constantly creating another requirement can keep us preparing for something we may already be capable of beginning.

In this episode, you’ll consider:

If you’ve been questioning whether you’re truly ready, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment. It can help you begin identifying the pattern beneath the reason you’ve been giving yourself:

https://tally.so/r/J94V1X

Once you’ve completed the assessment—or if you already recognize the bottleneck making forward movement difficult—book a free one-on-one call with Del to talk through what you’ve discovered and explore whether Stuck-to-Steady is the right support for you:

[BOOKING LINK TO BE ADDED]

Connect with Del:

You know something isn’t working—but leaving feels too risky.

Maybe you’re worried about money, your children, other people’s judgment, beginning again, or discovering that the next situation isn’t any better. So you remain where you are, telling yourself you haven’t made a decision yet.

But staying is also a decision.

In this episode, Del shares two personal experiences in which staying initially felt safer than leaving: her first marriage after multiple infidelities had been exposed and a micromanaging workplace that diminished her expertise until the company ultimately terminated her.

Although the circumstances were different, both experiences reveal how fear can narrow our view of the choices available to us—and how carrying everything alone can make the situation feel even more impossible.

In this episode, you’ll consider:

This episode is not an instruction to leave your job, marriage, or relationship. It is an invitation to examine what is influencing your decision and to seek the support needed to make that decision intentionally.

If you’re still unsure what may be keeping you from moving forward, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment HERE

https://tally.so/r/J94V1X

If you have identified what may be restricting your movement but need help deciding what to do next, book a free one-on-one call with me!

[Book your free 1:1 Call]

Stay Connected with Del:

EPISODE 136: Why More Information Isn’t Helping You Decide

You’ve gathered the information. You’ve compared the options. You’ve considered the risks, asked for advice, and replayed the possibilities.

So why can’t you decide?

In this episode, Del shares the real-life decision she is currently navigating: whether to renovate part of her home to generate rental income, keep the property as it is, or sell and transition to apartment living.

Each option offers legitimate benefits. Each also introduces financial, practical, and emotional risks. What initially appeared to be a decision requiring more information has revealed a deeper question: Can additional information create clarity—or are we sometimes asking it to eliminate uncertainty, regret, and judgment?

In this episode, you’ll consider:

If you’re unsure what may be keeping you circling, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment:

https://tally.so/r/J94V1X

If you have identified what may be restricting your movement but need help determining what to do next, book a free one-on-one call with Del:

LET'S TALK!

Connect with Del:

LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 135: Are Your Boundaries the REAL Problem? 5 Areas Where They Might Be

Your life may not be out of control—but certain parts of it may feel exhausting, frustrating, or increasingly difficult to manage.

The problem may not be your ability to handle responsibility. It may be that too many people and obligations have unrestricted access to your time, energy, attention, money, and emotional capacity.

In this episode, Coach Del explores five areas where missing, unclear, or inconsistently enforced boundaries may be contributing to problems in your life:

In This Episode

Why being dependable is not the same as being perpetually available

The difference between caring about someone's feelings and becoming responsible for them

Why a boundary must focus on what you will do—not controlling someone else

How competence can quietly create unreasonable expectations at work

Why generosity stops being freely chosen when guilt makes the decision

How resentment, dread, and depletion can reveal a missing boundary

The four steps to establishing a healthier boundary: Notice it, name it, communicate it, and hold it

Why another person's disappointment does not automatically mean your boundary is wrong

A Reminder From This Episode

The right boundaries do not stop you from being generous, compassionate, loving, or dependable.

They allow those qualities to remain freely chosen instead of continually required.

Take the Free Assessment

If you know you're stuck but aren't sure why, take the free What's REALLY Holding You Back? assessment.

Discover what's getting between you and where you want to be:

https://tally.so/r/J94V1X

Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE

Join Coach Del for the next Bounce Back, Black Woman! Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE on Monday, September 21, 2026, from 8:00–9:00 PM ET.

This free virtual gathering will create space for honest conversation, reflection, laughter, and connection. Registration is required, and attendance is limited to 25 women.

Register here:

https://o8dbkm.subscribepage.io

Stay Connected with Coach Del

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com

Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms

📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Ep. 134: Are You Thinking It Through—or Just Going in Circles?

Some decisions deserve time, prayer, research, and careful consideration. But there comes a point when thinking something through stops producing new information—and simply returns you to the same fears, questions, and possibilities.

In this episode, Coach Del explores the difference between thoughtful consideration and circular thinking. She explains why going in circles can feel productive, what it may be protecting you from, and why some clarity only becomes available after you take action.

You’ll learn:

You don’t have to make one enormous, irreversible decision. Sometimes you simply need to take one intentional step, pay attention to what it reveals, and use that information to decide what comes next.

Take the Free Assessment

If you know you’re stuck but aren’t sure why, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment.

Discover what may be getting between you and where you want to be:

https://tally.so/r/J94V1X

Join the Kitchen Table Conversation

Join Coach Del for the next Bounce Back, Black Woman! Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE on Monday, September 21, 2026, from 8:00–9:00 PM ET.

This free virtual gathering will create space for honest conversation, reflection, laughter, and connection. Registration is required, and attendance is limited to 25 women.

Register here (or on my website):

https://o8dbkm.subscribepage.io

Stay Connected with Coach Del

🌐 Website: CoachDel.com

🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com

📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman

💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith