Step 3: Refocus

“Wishing Won’t Make It So”

This step helps tell you what to do when you are trying to overcome those urges to do the compulsive behavior. The key = do another behavior

Facts:

- The more you worry about trying to drive some foolish and bothersome idea from your mind, the less chance you’ll succeed

- A key principle in self-directed cognitive behavior therapy for OCD is this: it’s not how you feel, it’s what you do that counts

- The object is to pursue an activity for at least 15 minutes - this is the fifteen minute rule

- When you shift behavioral gears, you improve how your brain works

- As you learn to manage your anxiety, your powers of observation will improve you will develop a powerful mind, a mind that is sensitive to subtle changes and able to see the implications of those changes

- Just because your orbital cortex is stuck in gear and sending you false messages doesn’t mean you have to listen to it. That’s the important mind-brain discovery around which our UCLA team has structured the Four-Step program

- By practicing these step, you will be able to expose yourself for longer and longer periods to those terrible thoughts and urges without performing compulsive ritual in response to them

- There is a spiritual aspect to overcoming OCD, as well as a biological one (page 76)

- As you do few compulsive behaviors and pay less and less attention to your obsessive thoughts - work around the thoughts - those thoughts and urges will fade more and more quickly

- As human beings we have the capacity to observe our own behavior, to use our Impartial Spectator, to increase our mindful awareness, and to make thoughtful decisions about how we’re going to value and respond to the signals our brain is sending us

As a recap so far:

#1 Relabel - call it what it is, an obsession

#2 Reattribute - place the blame squarely where it belongs by reminding yourself, “it’s not me, it’s the OCD”

#3 Refocus - walk away from the sink without washing your hands and do something worthwhile that makes you happy

Reframe what OCD means to you. Here’s a positive way to look at it:

- People with OCD tend to be creative, sincere, and very intense

- You’re always figuring out exercise that will help you help yourself

- You have the power to change your behaviors. Learn how to start relying on yourself again

Relationship OCD:

- Just let your thoughts go by without trying to figure them out

- Trust and believe that you can manage your OCD, rather than allow it to manage you

- As you implement the Four Steps you will gain confidence that you can prevail (Like Anna in the book says)

- Shift and reframe your thoughts

- Remember that even if your obsessions and compulsions reappear they will never again have the same power over you (Like Karen says in the book)

Remember, you must be active. You must practice these steps