Hey pal, are you going through a tough time? Trouble at home? Parents not doing well?

Well, how do you think that makes ME feel, huh?! I gotta like, live while you're over there being sad? 

Have you ever thought about how your being sad affects me, the star of Glee and also reality? (These people are all sociopaths, holy shit.)

It's Season 2, Episode 3 of Glee - "Grilled Cheezus"

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Marty and Dan leave the '60s for the bizarre 2010s. We meet the Glee Club, the weirdest, meanest, most annoying group of people ever to make your grandparents uncomfortable. It's all pop tunes and Obama-era optimism here in the Gleekend, and it makes us sick!

It's Glee Season 1, Episode 3 "Acafellas"

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Ol Barn's back in town, bay-bee and he is as infuriating as ever! We finally get #justiceforthelmalou and the Manhunt franchise ends with an inevitable wet thud.

At least Warren's almost gone, though.

Season 6, episodes 17 and 18 "The Return of Barney Fife" and "The Legend of Barney Fife"

Okay so you know how just like... the general concept of "art" is mostly considered good, like a good thing that most people enjoy. Well, that's wrong, and Andy Griffith is gonna tell you why. It's Season 6. Episode 14 "Otis the Artist"

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Content Note: This episode discusses media's portrayal of sexual assault for laughs

Well, when you do enough AG double-headers, there's gonna be ones like these. We start with an episode that is absolutely nothing, and then move to a deeply upsetting one, one of the weirdest and grossest things put to TV. Also, Dan might get whacked for getting a haircut.

AG Season 6, Episode 14 "The Church Organ" and 15 "Girl-Shy"

In an episode that's dedicated to talking dogs, we focus on a famous talking cat. 

It's AG Season 6, Episode 12 "Man's Best Friend" and Episode 13 "Aunt Bee Takes the Job"

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Okay a lot of weird stuff happened to Marty before and during this episode and we're going to talk about it a lot. But you'll be thanking us because it's a lot better than talking about Andy Griffith Show season 6 episodes 10 and 11, "Aunt Bee on TV" and "The Cannon."

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It's an extra-long BREAKING MAYBERRY ALL-STARS featuring three of our favorite returning guests to talk about the three-no-wait-four-part Andy Griffith Epic - "The Hollywood Arc".

Yes, for the first (only?) time in the show's run, the Taylors are leaving North Carolina, and this causes everyone to lose their damn minds. We brought in backup for this one, and our returning guests are bewildered and mystified and one case, deeply upset by Goober's hat.

It's Season 6, Episodes 7, 8, and 9 "Off to Hollywood", "Taylors in Hollywood", and "The Hollywood Party".

Dan and Marty take a little break from the doldrums of Mayberry with the classic(?) action movie TimeCop, starring our favorite cokehead gymnast Jean-Claude Van Damme. Dan remembers a repressed shame, we talk JCVDs terrible acting, and we fantasize about using time travel very irresponsibly.

We go back to the 80s-restaurant-of-debatable-quality of "It's A Living" with Max Ludwig. This time around we explore a few episodes with Andy Griffith ties, including one where a group of grown adult women dress as children's fairy-tale characters in a way that's not at all creepy! Also Marty absorbs so much content it breaks him.

It's "It's a Living" Season 3, Episode 14 "The Doctor Danny Show" and Season 5 Episode 4 "Sweet Charity"