I finally got the results of my breast biopsy and I talk about it in this episode. I waited almost 2 weeks, and at times it was very difficult. At some point before getting the results, I experienced a deep sense of acceptance, in terms of how I would cope with the results.

At the moment when my stress dissipated, I felt a full acceptance of this entire breast cancer experience and I realized I can get through whatever it is that's going to be happening, just like I did when first diagnosed, 2 1/2 years ago.

I also talk about the importance of me doing the work now to make a decision about a mastectomy on the right, because what I really want do is prevent a future invasive cancer and I know that I'm high risk for that happening again.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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It's something I never thought would happen although I was aware that I wanted to prevent it didn't hit me that it would be reality that I needed another biopsy because something showed up abnormal on my mammogram. This episode is about my shock and disbelief about the potential of another cancer haven't really ever thought of myself as a two-time cancer survivor, but it is a possibility so I share my thoughts and feelings in this episode.

The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

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Episode mentioned: Natalie Ditri: No fear of a cancer in my other breast

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The content of this podcast is not intended to substitute professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a healthcare professional regarding your healthcare questions and concerns. This podcast contains opinions of the host.

If you'd like to be the first to receive updates and exclusive content from the upcoming Breast Cancer Life newsletter, please email me at [email protected]. I'd love to have you on the list!

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After having a history of breast cancer, it makes you think about future dates differently. It may be that before I had cancer I thought about the next year's Christmas or birthday and hoped that everything would be the same as it is now. Definitely after the breast cancer diagnosis, when a holiday or in my case, planning a trip for next summer, comes to mind, I think to myself, and sometimes out loud to my family, " I hope everything's OK and the cancer is never back at that tome.". I also think about how I better just get things done that I really want to do because next year or two years later might be the longest timeline I should count on for some of the small stuff that might mean a lot for family and traditions that we experience in our lives. This episode talks about how this is a problem, in that you never know what the near future (like next summer) brings. Those unhelpful thoughts accidentally creep into my head even though I've said I want to forget about all that's been happening related to breast cancer ( since being diagnosed). You can probably relate to feeling as if the cancer robs you of your future if you have had a diagnosis of breast cancer. Just know that you're not alone and we have to make our dreams reality today, tomorrow, and every day after that.

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Checking in after 2 years since I was diagnosed with invasive breast cancer to share that recovery from the trauma of a diagnosis is possible. In the last episode I talked about inner strength that I use in managing my mindset as a survivor. The outlook of knowing I will be ok and controlling the things I am allowed to control does not restrict me from looking back at my recovery. This podcast is about sharing my story and advocating. The milestones of recovery from what makes up a diagnosis are important to reflect on, in my opinion. Since it is summer, I am going to my pool fairly often right now. I love how the water feels on my body and swimming has always been a therapeutic activity for me. So of course I went to my pool as soon as I could after my surgery (2 years ago).

As I work to set goals in my life (also something I talked about in the last episode), I am planning more fun activities each week. Last week I met up at the pool with a few friends and neighbors. This pool time (alone or with friends) is what I call a "great escape". It is not really an adventure but it takes me to such a different place the moment I enter the gates of the pool.

I crave these moments away from all that makes up my life. In the pool (at the pool), it is a time to move in the water and release physical and emotional tension as I swim (usually very leisurely) up and down the lanes. Last week, when I was with my friends, we sat and ate chips and dip (definitely therapeutic) before going to kick and talk in the water. We had a lot of space to ourselves and it was a completely relaxing block of time.

So as in last week's episode I talked about doing more than just going through the motions of each week in a month, year, etc., I share my experience of how this can be such a boost to keeping connected and having a positive outlook plus some fun during a day in my breast cancer life.

I cannot say for sure if I would have found it so important to block out fun and intentionally plan my life ahead (for fun and function) if I had not been diagnosed with breast cancer. I do know that because of my breast cancer experience, I am grasping on to opportunities to have fun and connect with others, while also taking care of me with great intention.

My recent episode about navigating the mindset in survivorship:

Episode 57 Inner Strength Unveiled: Navigating Mindset and Hope After Breast Cancer

If you are interested in hearing my episode about the healing effects of swimming for me, listen here: Episode 48 Swimming for Self Love as a Breast Cancer Survivor

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The title says it all in this episode. It is really necessary to navigate my mindset on a regularl basis. Most days are busy with what needs to be done in the now or present (work, exercise, the daily tasks that fill our time). There is still always an opportunity for doubt or fear or loss of hope to creep into the forefront of my thoughts. I share what is helpful to stay on the positive track in this episode. I also talk about my awareness of what is not helpful and how I steer clear of the unhelpful thoughts.

At first, when the MRI showed non-mass enhancements, prior to being diagnosed, I was reading a lot. I had no idea that I really had an invasive cancer in my breast. Then I got the biopsy results. My mindset shifted to getting ready for surgery. After surgery, I was focused on recovery from the mastectomy. Once I was healed and headed back to work, a new reality hit me. It was the reality of survivorship and living in the grey zone of uncertainty regarding the possibility of the cancer coming back. I got professional help to navigate the bid and very strong emotions that came with the new reality I was facing as a survivor.

Fast forward to the present, when I am two years out from diagnosis and surgery. I am still healthy after the diagnosis. The reality of possible recurrence still lives in my head. I have had some time to experience the ups and downs of survivorship. I have learned to recognize what is helpful and not helpful to keep me on track with a positive mindset and hope for a healthy and fulfilling future, even after my breast cancer diagnosis.

What am I doing? I take care of my mind and body, prioritizing sleep and exercise. I have built my community of others who really know what it is like to be a breast cancer survivor. I have worked on filling up the days, weeks, months and years with things I look forward to. Also, I have identified the triggers that lower my optimism of a lot of good years ahead. Most of the time, I know when to tell myself "don't go there" in my head.

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There are new realizations all the time in this breast cancer life experience. I recently realized I need to preserve the veins in my arm not affected by breast cancer surgery. I have been mindful about not getting any injections, blood draws or bug bites on my left arm since I had my mastectomy and sentinel lymph node dissection 2 years ago. Recently I realized that preserving the veins in my right arm is something to be mindful about.

I have had a few blood draws over the past year. These are generally drawn from the same place in my right arm, at the bend of the elbow. The phlebotomists are always good at hitting the vein on the first attempt, which I appreciate greatly. However, I recently thought about the effect of consistently having blood drawn in the same place. There could be scarring there. I realize it is possible that in the future, I could need IVs or other labs that are done at the same place. I need to preserve the veins on my unaffected side.

If it were not for breast cancer, this would not be an issue. This is another reason I make this podcast - to share the experience of all that encompasses this life.

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It has been 2 years since my mastectomy and immediate reconstruction with an implant. I am about to go to my annual plastic surgery follow up appointment right after recording this episode.

I always say that the plastic surgeon put me back together after the breast surgeon took me apart to remove the cancer (and the left breast in my case). So you will hear me say that the plastic surgery appointment is easy compared to the medical oncology or breast surgery follow up appointments. The plastic surgeon did her work and I recovered. It is essentially a "well-visit" and she does not have any focus on my risk of recurrence or my overall longevity.

I was completing my appointment check-in on my phone before going to the appointment and it hit me that some of the health history is permanent. Despite the abnormality of the breast that is listed in my health history in my online chart being an event from 2 years ago, I realized I am not ready to archive that content or remove it as a health condition in my chart.

Ultimately, I do want to put 2023 and all associated health problems (i.e. breast cancer diagnosis and mastectomy and the reality of survivorship hitting me hard), I am not ready to do so. Why? There are too many reminders of what it was like back then to even begin to list them right here. What happened then has changed me (sort of) and changed my life (for certain).

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Two things happened on the day I am recording this episode that make me think about how my life is different because of breast cancer. I was doing so well not thinking about breast cancer today that I forgot to implement the usual precautions for avoiding any bug bites on my left arm. I was bitten by an ant on my left hand at the end of my walk today. Tiny ants biting seems like no big deal, but the general strategy for lymphedema prevention is to avoid impairing the integrity of the skin on the side where a lymph node dissection has been done. This includes avoiding bug bites! I know the risk of lymphedema developing in my left arm is actually very low, but I do not want to do anything that would potentially allow for breakdown in the skin on my left arm or hand.

As I was standing at the sink washing my hands after the ant incident, a flood of urine ran out of me. It left urine running down over my ankles, with visible streaks of urine on my pant legs and on the footbed of my sandals. I had no intention to sit on the toilet at this moment. What does this have to do with breast cancer life? Typically, with a pause I am able to get control of my bladder. Today was different. I cannot say for certain that I am having increased urinary urgency or incontinence because of my breast cancer treatment, but the symptoms are much worse than before I started tamoxifen in 2023.

This urine flood reaffirms my recent decision to begin taking low-dose vaginal estrogen. I had discussed this option with my medical oncologist and my gynecologist last year. At the time I did not think I needed the estrogen, but after realizing the urinary side-effects I have are not getting better, I decided to get a prescription for vaginal estrogen. Without a cancer history, I would have not hesitated to add in estrogen as part of my peri-menopause or post-menopausal health care. Breast cancer life changes everything!

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Once I got my diagnosis of invasive ductal carcinoma, I was immensely scared of dying. I was shocked and sad about the diagnosis. I was sure I needed a double mastectomy, because I never wanted to get diagnosed with another breast cancer. My doctors did not recommend a double mastectomy. I only had the left mastectomy. I started tamoxifen a few weeks after surgery.

Now, two years since the diagnosis, I am confident that I will not be diagnosed with a cancer in my remaining (right) breast. There are two strategies in place for me at this time that lower my fear of another breast cancer developing. First, I now have a breast cancer screening plan that was developed with my oncologist, to best screen my dense breast tissue. This involves MRI and contrast-enhanced mammography. Secondly, and equally as important, I am taking tamoxifen. Tamoxifen is prescribed as my anti-estrogen or hormonal therapy, to reduce the risk of that prior breast cancer showing up somewhere else in my body. At the same time, tamoxifen has an effect on the tissue in my right breast, to halt the development of cancer. The way tamoxifen benefits my breast tissue will provide reduced risk of cancer in that breast for several years.

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