Brilliant Observations

Tell me 50 attractive, non-sexual traits you seek in a partner (and why Blake Lively has none of them). It's a sweeping conversation this week, Dear Listener, starting deep on Broad Street with Fly, Eagles, Fly and continuing down memory lane into the train wreck that is It Ends With Us. Good thing Missy's here with 30 seconds of penis content. Wang!

What goes down must come up, Dear Listener, at least in terms of gastric juices. Biohazard Amy shares a shocking number of fluid-based mishaps, while Melissa grapples with her authority as a creator of worlds.

Happy New Year from Dry January Headquarters, Dear Listener. We're coming in HOT this week with a host of penis shaped weather nonsense, the miracle of salt water and Stuart's antics at the Sauna Club. All that plus 30 seconds with Amy, MIssy boards a plane and LISTENERR FEEDBACK (and it's not even Christmas).

Welp, we made it, Dear Listener. 2024 is officially behind us. And if you're like most, you're feeling remarkably un-verklempt at the passing of said Poo Sandwich. Good news is: we're gearing up for our Best. Year. Eva. And we want you to come with.

Yes, Melissa. I ended a sentence with a with.

See? There are worse things than all of 2024.

Join us this week for a rolicking look back at our holiday foibles, our lives on sonder, tips and tricks for surviving dark hallways, and your favorite, Dear Listener Feedback! We're so grateful for you—and for this joyous gift of friendship. What a ride.

Happy Merry Joyous Blessed Easy Crispy Fresh Squeezed Hot & Ready Now, Dear Listener. (Should old aquiantance be forgot.) We love you, we mean it. Our highest best and always, Melissa and Amy.

Greetings, Soufganiot fans. You'll be pleased to know that the annual cost of Christmas Trees has now surpassed $4.6 billion per family. Score one for Hannukah! In other news, Missy continues to deal with the detritus of The Great Purge. Amy discusses the possibility of removing all her hair. And we both fantasize about the hidden riches of highway based realities.

It's Go Time, Dear Listener, and you're on deck with a mission critical assignment: FEEDBACK. Our girl is struggling this week, and the only thing to cure her funk is a mountain of positive reinforcement in the form of Listener Engagement. So hop on Gmail and drop Missy a line at [email protected]. Social media more your speed? Post to your channel and tag @ListenBrilliant. Or just stand at the nearest window and scream until your lungs expire. (Oh wait, that's what Missy's doing.) Once you're done, give us a listen. We promise we'll give you a laugh.

Topics this week include smiling in the face of death, the great closet purge, CBS "television" shows, teen vomit, and the death of a healthcare CEO (or birth of a legend).

It's not everyday that Melissa dictates the name of the episode. But so moved was she this week, Dear Listener, that she did just that. We give you: Amy's Thanksgiving.

Enjoy.

Dance, Monkey, Dance — it's Thanksgiving, Dear Listener! We've loaded up the laughs to make the time fly as you prep, plump, clean, commute, gorge, purge, decorate, designate and defacate your way through this blessed secular holiday. (Still sorry, Native 'Merica!)

Join us, won't you, as we ignore the news, forget cultural references and dig deep in family drama. In You Can't Eat at Errybody House news, Missy suffers a fresh insult that shall henceforth be known as KUGELGATE.

Thirty seconds with Amy is back, along with your favorite, Non Sequitur Theatre featuring Matthew McConaughey's whistling tuna sandwhich. Plus, Missy melts down over the anorexia cry for help masquerading as the Wicked press tour. (Eat a sandwich, Ariana. Seriously.)

We love you.

We're grateful for you.