Brilliant Observations

The things this woman makes me say on behalf of your entertainment. Lord help us.

From Thoughtful Shoppery to creative tax code interpretation, exposing toxic espoinnage networks and raw pork hostess gifts, Amy laments the reputational erosion this podcast expands each and every week. Meanwhile, Missy's self-diagnosed neurospiciness takes center stage with her approach to secret keeping, tax preparation, protein consumption and New York sports teams. Far reaching topics connected only through nonsequitors? Perhaps. Hilariously relatable? Always.

Suns and Moons merging together, garbage and valuables co-mingling at every turn, and longtime friends who suddenly reveal their depthlessly shallow hearts. It's a world gone MAD, Dear Listener, and this week's episode is here for it. Join us as we recap the Eclipse, including the physical effects of witnessing a mass lunar wedding (blech!). Then, there's the main event — the Watch List, a special category where once cherished relationships reveal their critical flaws, only to slide off into the abyss. OoooOooOoooo, JUICY!

It's Grievance Week, Dear Listener, and both Amy and Missy came ready to grouse. How better to begin than a full-throated rebuke of famed finger-wagger herself, the one and only Mel Robbins. Listen with head-shaking joy as Amy loses her damn mind over Mel Robbins' most recent episode, featuring the world's most saliva-packed special guest.

If that wasn't enough, Melissa launches her nukes at a disingenuous family of influencers looking to capitalize on their son's (ahem) "medical condition." He's a picky eater, folks.

All that, plus a rousing game of Is This Racist (GenX Edition) and a limited edition segment we're calling "Australia—Enough with the Genitals."

There's TV recommendations, verbal gaffs, hoots, snorts and lots of laughs. Give this one a listen or a share if you're so inclined. You won't be disappointed.

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Well, when the starting point for licks is Melissa's son after a Balinese holiday and the Tootsie Roll center is an unwrapped toilet seat, I'm guessing it takes more than three. Join us as we chat through Aboriginal Gratitude, the state of Israel, the Selective Logic of the Qanon Collective, and disgruntled gift recipients. It's all there, Dear Listener. And all you have to do is press play.

Oh, G-blank-D, Dear Listener, do we have a show for you. There's frivolous lawsuits. There's religious superstition. There's orgasm pills, TikTok scams and wildly overpriced butter. There's even a botched execution that turns out to be a heartwarming tale of "I bet you didn't see that coming." And if that wasn't enough, we even throw in some nonsensical anecdotes from the teenage clown around gang. Interested? You betcha. Time for another Brilliant Observations, kids!

Happy Feet had his heartsong. The rest of us, if Mallory's college classmate is to be trusted, have a Poopsong. And the lucky few? A Pooping Playlist. You know. For those very long, very strenuous "moments." And with that, we're back to our old tricks, Dear Listener, with plenty of silly, sing-songy, potty humory talkie talk for your listening pleasure.

Do we also manage to dabble in politics, however briefly? Why yes, yes we do. But only as long as it takes to lace a pair of solid gold sneakers.

We also cover the magic of aging, the importance of a proper Swedish Death Clean and Amy's bout with ayahuaska (caribe edition). Clip in, friends! It's one hell of a ride!

We've had a bit of a viral moment on TikTok this week, Dear Listener, and wouldn't you know it's about some questionable activity (wholly endorsed). What can I say? Sometimes the things in my head come out of my face. And in this case, the things coming out of my face happened in the bathroom. Interested? Then listen on, Dear Listener — this episode is for you.

Topics covered include All Things Underpants (from going commando to carrying a spare pair to stray toilet paper mysteriously stuck to the wall), the phenomenon of TikTok sensation ReesaTeesa, and our personal favorite, Credit Card Fraud: How Would You Do It? We posed this HYPOTHETICAL question on TikTok in hopes of crowd sourcing some answers, and boy did the internet deliver. Check us out on TikTok at your own risk.

And just in case no one's told you this today, we love giving joke advice, which is not the same as actual advice to you or your loved ones. This show is for entertainment purposes only. The thoughts and views expressed are not legal advice, or medical advice, or lifestyle advice, or any advice worth listening to, frankly.

Funk around and find out rules apply.

You've heard of snakes on a plane. Welp, there's no preparing you for what these Amsterdamians decided to transport. Continuing with the Animals Gone Wild theme, Missy shares news of the world's first (potentially) immaculate conception, sting-ray style. Just as scripture foretold, this too leaves us guessing as to who done messed with that unsuspecting lady. (My money's on the shark.) All that plus Weed Goes to the Theatre, Weed Goes to Work and Weeeeeee All the way Home. Join us for a laugh, won't you?